I am in love with myself

In the morning, the patient building is quite lively. The cleaners clean the rooms one by one, the nurses pull the curtains in the wards, and the family members walk around to buy food and water.

Jian Yixi was lying on the hospital bed, pulling at the corner of An Mu's clothes. She was pitiful and cautious. When An Mu frowned, she covered her chest and pretended to be in pain. It wasn't really pretending, but she didn't want to shout in front of An Mu. If it hurts aloud, she yelled out, and she was sure that An Mu would feel distressed.

How could An Mu not see such a small trick?

She was angry and helpless, there was really nothing she could do about it, after searching through her memory, she couldn't remember that she was so cunning?

Maybe she was not so cunning in the first place, but she was taught to be like this. After all, people will change. Since she intervened to teach Jian Yixi, Jian Yixi has changed the original life course, towards less and less Going the same way.

An Mu thought, in another ten years, Jian Yixi would live until the day she died, which would be the day when they were most different. After the age of 28, she would never be there again, and Jian Yixi would continue to move towards a better life. life development.

By then, she will probably be able to completely let go of her previous life and live the life she wants.

"Okay, don't pull it, be careful to pull the wound again."

An Mu grabbed Jian Yixi's hand that was pulling the hem of her clothes, and stuffed it back on the bed.

Seeing that she didn't seem to be angry anymore, Jian Yixi felt relieved.

"Why did you come here suddenly?"

An Mu gave her a white look, "How do I know you're lying to me again if I don't come here? You said it well at the beginning, and you won't hide anything from me in the future. It turned out that it was all just talking."

Jian Yixi bit her lips, and her heart that had just let go hung up again.

——An Mu is really like a landmine right now, it might blow up at the slightest touch. It's better for her not to talk, she's wrong, she can pretend to be pitiful if she doesn't talk.

Jian Yixi lowered her eyes and said nothing, pretending to be pitiful, An Mu was even angrier when she saw it.

"Why don't you talk? You used to apologize when you made a mistake, but now you have learned to be cold and violent?"

Jian Yixi wanted to cry but had no tears, so she quickly raised her eyelids, blinking her red eye sockets.

"I'm sorry... I'm afraid that the more I talk about it, the more angry you will be..."

It was An Mu who asked the question, Jian Yixi's eyes turned red, and it was An Mu who felt distressed.

An Mu suddenly got into the mentality of being a parent. The child was so disobedient that she insisted on saying one, two, three, but when the child really said it, he felt distressed.

"Okay, don't talk about this, talk less and rest."

Jian Yixi doesn't want to rest.

"It's better to talk and divert attention. The more you rest, the more painful it will be."

This is true.

An Mu chatted with her every sentence, deliberately avoiding the topic of the college entrance examination, fearing to make her sad again, but she didn't expect her to bring it up by herself.

"I think Maomao is in a good mood, did she do well in the exam?"

"It should be, the first choice should be fine."

"What about you? Have you assessed your score?"

"Estimated."

"How about it?"

"It's a little higher than last year's score line, it should be about the same."

In the past few years, the score line has not fluctuated much, and there is not much error up and down. As long as it is within this estimated range, it will basically be stable.

Jian Yixi smiled, sincerely happy for An Mu.

"I knew you could do it."

An Mu said lightly, "There's nothing to be happy about, I just got the honor of a local student."

"You can't say that. There are many local students who can't pass the exam, and the ones who get admitted are also top-notch students. If you can pass the exam, it means that you are still very good."

After a pause, Jian Yixi said again: "Why don't you help me estimate the points, I want to see how many points I can get."

An Mu took out his phone, but before he could find the answer, Jian Yixi suddenly said, "Forget it, don't worry about it, I wrote it in a mess, and when I wrote the answer sheet, I wrote the wrong position, and I didn't realize it until the end, and I didn't know what to do. Hurry up and make it up, I finished it by stepping on the bell, I don’t know if I made a mistake, it’s really... a mess, except for the Chinese paper, everything else is written in a pinch, without checking, there must be a lot of mistakes.”

It would be nice to finish writing in that state.

No, it should be said that it is not bad to be able to take the exam.

An Mu turned to the answer and comforted him, "That's not necessarily true. Let's estimate it. I'll help you pay attention to the school later. You don't have to go to Tsinghua University. I was just joking with you at the beginning. Those successful people, Not all of them are from Tsinghua University, and the second and third books are actually not bad.”

Jian Yixi shook her head, "No, I only go to Tsinghua University."

An Mu knew that this was her dream in her previous life, and it was also her and Jian Yixi's dream now.

In her previous life, Wen Qiaoyun didn't allow her to repeat the study, and felt that even if she did, she would not be able to get into any good school, and it would be a shame, so she never had the chance to repeat it. In this life, as long as Jian Yixi thinks about it, she will fully support her.

"Okay, let's not estimate, we only go to Tsinghua University."

Jian Yixi was not happy because of her encouragement, but even more depressed.

"An Mu, don't you think I'm special... overestimated and selfish? You were admitted to Tsinghua University just two years after you came back from abroad. I've been studying for more than ten years, but still... still Can't pass the exam.

It’s fine if you don’t pass the exam, you still have to pass it, you have to repeat it, and you don’t even look at the conditions of your own family. A year’s delay is a matter of one year. My parents are also getting older, and it’s dangerous to do this every day. The work supports me, I should work earlier to help them share. "

An Mu touched her head, and said in a rare soft voice: "Many times, dreams and reality are in conflict, if the conflict cannot be overcome, or if the conflict requires too much sacrifice, then give up.

But if it can be surpassed, and you only need to sacrifice a little bit, then you might as well try it.

You may indeed need to delay for a year, but if you are admitted to Tsinghua University, it means that you have better protection in the future, and your career planning may be raised to a higher level. Your parents' hard work this year will soon be due to This change is made up for. "

An Mu's stability made Jian Yixi feel a little better.

She lowered her eyes, the corners of her eyes were reddish, she reached out and grabbed An Mu's hand without any force, as if she was looking for comfort but was embarrassed, she held it loosely.

An Mu took her hand back and held it tightly.

Jian Yixi's eye circles became even redder, she sniffed, her voice was a little choked up, she still lowered her eyes and didn't look at her, she just whispered.

"Actually... I don't have to be Tsinghua University... I just think... I'm useless...

You are more beautiful than me, richer than my family, and smarter than me. You are good at everything, and I can’t catch up with you in my life. The only thing I am better than you is my grades. I don’t want to surpass you, I just want to catch up with you.

I want to go to Tsinghua University with you, so that the gap between us will not be so obvious.

I think one day in the future, I can stand in front of your family and friends, proudly say that I am your friend, and not let you be looked down upon because of me.

You may not know that I'm actually not really stupid because I can't see that Chen Han has ulterior motives. I just feel panicked when I see her.

I think I am too far behind her, your friends are all like Chen Han, and Liang Sirui, she is also a permanent resident of France, with a good family background and good experience, I really... I... I am not as good as them Too much. "

An Mu couldn't help but said, "Chen Han is no longer my friend. My friend is you and Maomao. There is no difference between us."

"I know, we are all candidates now, and we can't see the gap, but what about the future? Your circle of friends is really not at the same level as mine, and the gap will only get bigger and bigger. Being admitted to Tsinghua University is the only one who can The way to get into the hierarchy with you, I...I have to pass the exam, can you understand An Mu?"

An Mu... I really don't understand. She never thought that after two years, Jian Yixi would still rely on her so much.

She thought that over the past year, Jian Yixi's sense of dependence on her had faded with the passage of time. After all, she hadn't seen her for so long, and Jian Yixi didn't show any abnormalities. Doesn't it mean that they are not dependent if they can get well without seeing each other? performance?

How could she have imagined that Jian Yixi would turn this dependence into an admission to Tsinghua University?

But Tsinghua University was obviously her dream in her previous life, so why did she have something to do with her?

Moreover, although she valued her friends in her previous life, for example, Mao Mao shared joys and sorrows with her, and their relationship could not be shaken no matter in the past or present, but no matter what, she was not to the extent that Jian Yixi was always afraid of being separated in the future.

She and Mao Mao have always been in a natural relationship, never thinking so far, but also believe that their friendship can last a lifetime.

Is it really because... Her family conditions put Jian Yixi under pressure?

But... do you still have to be right when you make friends now?Can't rich people have friends from ordinary families?

Is there something wrong with her teaching method?Or is Jian Yixi too insecure?Or... there are other reasons she doesn't know?

I haven't seen her for more than a year, and when Jian Yixi was most frustrated, she couldn't stop her emotions as soon as she opened up. Jian Yixi held her hand, holding back the tears that she didn't know how long, and confided in a low voice.

"Actually...it's not that I really don't feel sorry for my parents, nor that I'm stubborn and overwhelmed, I...I just want to be friends with you for a lifetime.

I don’t want to wait for a day in the future when the gap between us will become so great that we will really not be on the same level. We will have no common topics at all, and we will gradually drift apart. At that time, even if I want to cross over to chase you, I will not be able to cross it. passed.

I... I'm really... Really afraid of losing you, I'm afraid that one day, I will suddenly turn around and find that you are no longer there, just like... like the winter vacation of the second year of high school, just a winter vacation, you will be gone , and left me to transfer to another school.

This time it's a transfer, what about next time?What will it be next time?

It will take me a year and a half, or even two and a half, to catch up with you just by changing schools. I don't know how long it will take me next time. "

Hearing what she said, An Mu suddenly didn't know what to say.

Jian Yixi's life trajectory has changed since two years ago, and her thoughts are naturally changing slowly. It is normal for An Mu to have occasional emotional changes that An Mu didn't expect.

An Mu sighed slightly: "If you are doing it for me, then there is no need to go to Tsinghua University. As I said just now, two books and three books are actually not bad. The important thing is not what school you went to, but your ability. University is just a place for you to learn theoretical knowledge, I believe that according to your ability, you don't have to work for others, you can start your own company, and it doesn't matter whether it costs you money or not."

"here we go again……"

"What's coming again?"

Jian Yixi bit her lower lip, and tilted her head to look at her. The little pear dimple at the corner of her lips was slightly sunken due to the force of her lips. Tears glistened in her eyes, looking at her with indescribable grievances.

"I found you quite stupid."

"I'm not saying you're stupid, you have more twists and turns in your mind than anyone else, you..."

An Mu interrupted: "I don't think this is a compliment."

Seeing that she had a straight face, Jian Yixi was afraid that she would misunderstand, so she raised her neck subconsciously to explain, but she pulled the wound all of a sudden, and the pain caused the mouth that had just opened to twist immediately.

"Be careful!"

An Mu couldn't help, so he could only watch her hurt, hoping that she would recover soon.

Fortunately, Jian Yixi recovered quickly, took a breath and said, "I'm not beating around the bush to imply you, I say you are stupid, I mean you look smart and eloquent, in fact, the more you get close to me The rougher you are in front of people, the less you can speak."

——Said so much again just after taking a breath, can't you talk slowly?

An Mu took out a piece of paper to help her wipe the thin trace of sweat from the pain on her forehead.

"How did you come to the conclusion?"

"For example, when I went to celebrate your birthday, you scolded me. If I hadn't pointed it out bluntly, you wouldn't have noticed my grievance at all."

That being said, it seems to be true.

Jian Yixi continued to accuse: "I have said that I am wronged, let you comfort me, even if you say hug me, if you really want to hug, hug, hug, you will just say that to comfort me. Just one sentence, you weigh the difference yourself."

An Mu blinked, and threw the sweat wipes into the trash can with no expression on her face. She really didn't know what expression to put on.

In her previous life, she had few close people around her. The only Xie Maomao also had a boyfriend, so it was impossible to always be with her. She really didn't have much experience in contacting close people, and she was not very good at comforting others.

But this is not the reason for her to be fierce to Jian Yixi, just like she has never been violent to Xie Mao Mao in her previous life, she usually would not be violent to her friends, Jian Yixi is different, Jian Yixi is herself in her eyes, yes The child's self can also be simply equal to... his own child?

It doesn't mean that, but it's about the same.

Thinking about it this way, she is indeed like a parent, she can't help but ignore Jian Yixi's feelings, and only imposes her own ideas.

"You said it again just now, did I say something wrong again?"

Jian Yixi nodded slightly, "It's not wrong, it's just a little sad. You said it once last time, and I felt uncomfortable at the time, but I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with myself. You said two books and three books It's not bad, it makes me feel like I'm really bad, stupid, stupid, like I can't catch up with you in my life, especially now that I'm like this, it seems to be to prove that I'm really stupid."

Putting it this way...it seems a bit inappropriate...

An Mu lowered his eyes unnaturally and blinked twice, pursed his bright red lips again and again, and said, "Then...I...I apologize to you, I really think that two books and three books are nothing, that's why I said So, I... have no other meaning."

When did Jian Yixi see An Mu's cute and hesitant expression?

She couldn't help swallowing, and wanted to pinch An Mu's face, but she was afraid that An Mu would be angry, so she curled her fingers and didn't dare to stretch them out. Even if An Mu wasn't angry, there were others in the ward, so she could only put this The little thought is pressed in the bottom of my heart, and I will put it into action when there are only the two of them.

"What are you apologizing for? I'm always glass-hearted, so I don't care about others, but I have to be careful when speaking to my own people. How tiring is that?

I just want to say that if we are dissatisfied with each other in the future, or if we have any grievances in our hearts, we can just say it directly, don't hide it, and it will last longer if we are open and honest. "

Only then did An Mu understand the intention of her accusation, and couldn't help but put her down.

"Are you embarrassed to say it? Didn't you hide the hospitalization from me?"

"Ah... this... I... I want to talk about your transfer! Can you stop talking about it? You can't disappear suddenly no matter what, we've agreed."

"It's been more than a year since I transferred to another school. Let's move forward from the nearest one first. Didn't you keep everything from me about the hospitalization and the beating of my tablemate before?"

Jian Yixi sighed, she would never be able to speak up against An Mu in terms of words.

But it doesn't matter, she has a trick.

"Ouch... hiss!"

"What's the matter? Are you talking again? You should slow down."

Jian Yixi took the opportunity to turn around, "Your words don't count."

"What's wrong with me?"

"You said that if I hurt in the future, you can blow it for me. I'm in such pain now, and I haven't seen you blow it for me."

As soon as these words came out, the aunt next door subconsciously turned her head to look at Jian Yixi.

Jian Yixi looked at An Mu with her back, and didn't notice the aunt's caring eyes for the mentally retarded.

In front of the room full of people, An Mu felt a little uncomfortable, but Jian Yixi's eyes could not be ignored. She didn't care to refute what she said was "give her an injection", she just lowered her voice and said : "Someone, stop making trouble."

Jian Yixi frowned, feeling extremely wronged.

"I knew you lied to me..."

It is said that sickness is when a person is most vulnerable, and it seems to be true. Although Jian Yixi is not sick or injured, the reason is the same. When she is uncomfortable, she really wants to act coquettishly with those close to her.

An Mu had never been acted like a spoiled child before, except for Jian Yixi, she found that she really had no choice but to act spoiled.

"Okay, okay, it doesn't hurt anymore."

An Mu leaned over and blew through the short-sleeved t-shirt.

Jian Yixi raised her arm again, revealing the scratches on the inner side of her arm.

"It hurts here too."

The stabbing wound was not serious, it had already scabbed over, but Jian Yixi's skin was too white, especially the inner side of the arm, which made the edge of the scratch extraordinarily bright red, which looked shocking.

Before that, Jian Yixi had been shrinking that arm, and the injury was on the inside. An Mu didn't notice it, but seeing it now, she couldn't help frowning.

"This wound is so fresh, isn't it related to the car accident?"

"I came out after the last test, and I was so dizzy that I almost rolled down the stairs, so I quickly grabbed the handrail, but my arm was weak, so I fell down."

After finishing speaking, Jian Yixi flattened her mouth, and her eyes sparkled.

"It hurts, blow it."

An Mu felt distressed and angry, "Are you possessed by the spirit?"

"Hmm... blow blow."

She still "huh"?

"I haven't seen you for more than a year, and the thickness of your skin has grown?"

Jian Yixi persistently raised her arms, as if she would not put them down until she blew.

An Mu looked around to see the other family members and patients. Everyone was laughing, but it wasn't malicious. They probably thought it was interesting for the little girl to act like a baby.

An Mu pursed her lips uncomfortably, fearing that she would drag the wound if she kept holding it like this, so she lowered her head and blew.

"Blow it, it doesn't hurt anymore."

"And here."

Jian Yixi pointed to the corner of her eyes again.

"What's wrong here?"

The corners of the eyes were slightly red, but they were not injured.

Jian Yixi said frankly: "I'm on fire."

"Does getting angry count?" An Mu was speechless.

—Forget it, why not?It's hard to be cheeky and act like a baby, not one time is enough, thanks?

Jian Yixi also felt that she had grown thick-skinned.

An Mu had no choice but to lean over and blow at the corner of her eyes lightly again. She was just pretending to be afraid that the blowing into her eyes would make her feel uncomfortable.

After blowing, she got up, and found that Jian Yixi was staring at her blankly, and her eyes seemed to be fixed on her mouth.

Shouted and there was no response.

An Mu called again: "Jian Yixi? What's wrong?"

Only then did Jian Yixi regain her senses, her cheeks blushed suspiciously.

"That...no, nothing."

This kid is weird.

An Mu didn't think much about it. Her adoptive mother opened the door and came in. She walked with the wind, and said as she walked, "I wanted to come earlier, but I missed two buses. If I had known, I would have taken a taxi here."

It costs more than a dozen yuan to take the bus, but the adoptive mother is used to it carefully, and An Mu can understand it. Moreover, Jian Yixi's medical expenses are estimated to be paid by the adoptive mother first. I don't know if the driver who caused the accident has been contacted.

An Mu said, "It's okay," and stepped out of the way.

With her adoptive mother around, it was not her turn to serve her, and her adoptive mother would definitely not let her do anything.

Jian Yixi lay down and couldn't move, the adoptive mother made millet porridge, took a thick straw and let Jian Yixi drink it directly, the adoptive mother picked up vegetables from time to time, and fed a steamed bun.

The adoptive mother supported the lunch box and turned to An Mu and said, "Hurry up and go back and rest, there is still food in the pot for you."

An Mu shook his head: "I won't go back, my aunt has to make lunch."

The adoptive mother said: "I won't do it at noon. I'll buy some to feed her. I'll go back in the afternoon and cook some chicken soup. I won't leave when I deliver it in the evening. You can rest at home at night. You should go back to Beijing tomorrow, right? Don't worry your family."

"I won't go back." An Mu pressed the railing at the end of the bed and said, "I'm done with the exams, and I have nothing to do. I'll just stay here with the bed, and my aunt will deliver the meals."

The adoptive mother stared round, "How can I do that?"

An Mu smiled: "Why not? Nursing is easy and there is almost no work. It's different to deliver meals. You have to buy, cook, and run around to deliver. The most tiring, auntie will be tired .”

"No matter how tired I am, I should, but you..."

"I should too, we are friends."

The adoptive mother really couldn't spare her hands alone, so she didn't say anything more when she saw that An Mu insisted.

"Then if you don't go home...then go out and have some good morning. If I knew about it, I would have brought it here for you."

"It's okay, I just want to drink tofu nao, there should be one selling it across from the hospital."

An Mu went out to eat, and called home by the way, and explained the situation. When An Mu heard that Jian Yixi had a car accident, she was shocked, and asked her to help more, and not to come back in a hurry.

When An Mu left, there were only patients and family members in the ward, but when he came back, the nurses and doctors were blocked.

The doctor is reprimanding Jian Yixi: "I said that I just had an operation, and I won't get out of bed until two days later, why are you going to the toilet?!"

The author has something to say: two in one

I'll hurry to write another chapter