Rebirth breaks you straight

Summer nights in Beijing are very cool. The wind blows through the streets and alleys.

As the day passed, the excitement of the night came, and the night market became hot. Many street vendors came out to fight guerrillas while the urban management was off work, and the food stalls also expanded to the sidewalks one after another.At this time, the capital is no different from any city across the country.

Chen Zan and Niu Minghai were walking on the street, watching many shirtless people eating barbecue and drinking beer at the barbecue stand, the sound of drinking orders came and went, it was very lively.

Chen Zan asked: "Brother Niu, what do you want to eat?"

"I seldom come here, where do you usually eat at?" Niu Minghai asked.

Chen Zan usually doesn’t eat late-night snacks, and occasionally asks to eat while chatting: “Let’s just go to that Luo Ji BBQ. Their charcoal-grilled oysters are good.” Charcoal-grilled oysters are a common snack in coastal areas. When they come to Beijing, their value will rise Several times, but it's not bad to try something new every once in a while.

Niu Minghai nodded: "OK."

The two sat down, and there weren't too many people eating barbecue at this point. The proprietress quickly came to greet them herself, and asked them to order with the menu.Chen Zan handed the menu to Niu Minghai: "Brother Niu, you are a customer, you order first."

Niu Minghai looked at the 30 yuan a dozen oysters and thought it was a bit expensive. Beef and mutton cost only 30 yuan a bunch, while oysters cost almost [-] yuan a piece. Based on the principle of saving money, he ordered some beef and mutton.Although he doesn't care about the [-] yuan, Chen Zan is the one who treats the guests, so you can't leave a bad impression on him, right?

Chen Zan laughed: "I came here to eat oysters, why don't you order them? Ma'am, order a dozen oysters."

Niu Minghai said: "Don't, don't, it's not good to eat too much seafood, half a dozen."

Chen Zan looked at Niu Minghai: "Okay, just half a dozen, it's also a taste. Would you like some beer?"

Niu Minghai shook his head: "No, I drove here."

Chen Zan nodded: "Then have two cans of herbal tea first."

The proprietress ordered the dishes and left. Chen Zan turned around and said to Niu Minghai, "It is said that their oysters are airlifted from Zhanjiang, so they are very expensive."

Niu Minghai didn't believe that oysters brought in by air would be sold at this food stall, but oysters are originally seafood, and Beijing doesn't have them. If you want to eat fresh ones, most of them are shipped from other places. As for how to transport them, no one has any idea. See, whatever the boss says nonsense. "Do you like seafood very much?"

Chen Zan shook his head: "Fortunately, my friend likes to eat, and he also found this place." Thinking of chatting, he couldn't help but smile.

Niu Minghai's heart was itching, what kind of friend was it that made him smile so happily when he mentioned it: "Are you a girlfriend?"

Chen Zan paused, looked up at Niu Minghai, and shook his head: "No, man."

Niu Minghai turned the teacup in his hand: "Chen Zan, there is a question I've been wanting to ask you: Are you in love?"

Chen Zan nodded.

Niu Minghai turned his hand around the teacup, and the tea in it spilled out. With a disappointed look on his face, he asked, "Are you with the person you like?"

Chen Zan continued to nod.

Niu Minghai smiled reassuringly: "Take him out to play with you when you have time, and I'll treat you to dinner."

Chen Zan felt a little embarrassed: "It's so embarrassing, and you have to spend money on senior brother Niu, so let's treat you to dinner then."

"Okay. You two get along—is there anything uncomfortable? If you have any troubles, you can talk to the senior brother, and the senior brother will explain your doubts. After all, two people of the same sex get along differently from ordinary boyfriend and girlfriend. Many times when there is confusion, I don’t know who to turn to." Going to tell, it’s very painful to hold back.” Niu Minghai thinks that his emotional experience is richer than Chen Zan, especially since they are both gay.

Chen Zan was stunned for a moment, then remembered that he should have passed on what he said to Yu Yan last time to Niu Minghai, and Niu Minghai didn't hide that he was gay at all, so he couldn't help being embarrassed, it turns out that men can't gossip up.But looking at the sincere Niu Minghai, he nodded: "Then thank you, Senior Brother Niu. There is no problem for now."

Niu Minghai knew that he was hopeless now, so he simply let go of his thoughts, and his gossiping heart swelled: "How did you know each other?"

Chen Zan thought to himself, should he come out to him now?He didn't even say Yu Yan.Seeing that he didn't answer, Niu Minghai smiled self-deprecatingly: "I'm sorry, I'm busy."

Chen Zan waved his hand quickly: "It's because I'm not ready to come out, and I don't want Brother Yu to know. I'm worried that he will tell Uncle Yu, and then my parents will hear about it."

Niu Minghai nodded: "That's fine, I won't ask any more questions, let's talk about it when you want to."

Chen Zan hesitated for a moment, and said, "If Brother Niu can promise not to tell Brother Yu, it doesn't matter if I talk to you." After all, everyone needs someone to confide in. For him and Tantian, only his sister and Tan Yang Knowing that it is impossible for them to give him any objective advice.

Niu Minghai raised his hand: "I promise not to tell Yu Yan." Then he laughed.

Chen Zan thought that Yu Yan would know about this sooner or later, and he had to tell him when the time came so that Uncle Yu wouldn't hear his gossip.Then began to say: "We actually grew up together."

Niu Minghai wowed: "Bamboo horses are in pairs, so happy!"

Chen Zan was embarrassed when he heard this statement, and nodded with a blushing face: "It's more fashionable to say this."

Niu Minghai sighed and said: "This way you know the root and the bottom, which is the best. However, there is one disadvantage. If you want to come out, both families know about it, so there is no room for buffering. It is easy to have conflicts." There is another point that Niu Minghai did not say, if they break up in the future, it will be called embarrassment.

Chen Zan didn't think about it that much, he only vaguely knew that it would be very difficult to come out in the future: "Thank you, brother Niu, for your guidance, I will think about this issue carefully and find the most suitable way." It's here, "Try it, Brother Niu."

Niu Minghai picked up one with chopsticks and tasted it, nodded: "Well, the taste is not bad, with a strong garlic flavor."

Chen Zan said: "Northern people have a stronger taste, so roast oysters with a lot of minced garlic, in fact, the original taste is more fresh."

"Have you ever eaten the original one?" Niu Minghai asked.

Chen Zan was stunned for a moment. He had never eaten original charcoal-grilled oysters in his life. He had eaten them in his previous life, but he mistook them: "Well, I ate them when I went to Shanghai, and the people there have a milder taste." Anyway, Niu Ming Hai would definitely not ask Chat to reconcile accounts.

Niu Minghai ate barbecue, drank herbal tea, and gradually talked more, saying that he discovered his sexual orientation, and talked to two people successively: "They have no plans to be with me for a long time, and they don't want to come out with the family. The last one still wanted to ask me to go abroad together, but he still secretly made a girlfriend behind my back. I just want to find someone to live with for the rest of my life, but—it’s too difficult. The circle is very chaotic, all of them are one-night stands, promiscuity, Marriage fraud. Chen Zan, you must not get mixed up in the circle, it will make you disappointed in life."

Looking at him, Chen Zan couldn't help feeling sympathetic to this boy. In the gay circle, it's too difficult to find someone who sincerely likes each other. Both have their own goals, for sex, or for money, or for affection, but It is always difficult to bump into each other, or if they bump into each other, neither of them will call, so they can only continue to stagger and continue to search.

Niu Minghai continued: "Chen Zan, do you know how much I envy you? It's so lucky to have someone who grows up with you, and this person happens to like you, and you like him too. Why don't I have such a good fortune? All of my children are so rough that they can't be more rough, and none of them can make me lust."

Chen Zan laughed, he was very lucky, but this was the luck he earned after living a whole life, he raised the herbal tea jar and bumped Niu Minghai's, "Senior Brother Niu, don't be discouraged, you will always meet that hit person." Destined people, really, have enough patience, fate will reward those who work hard.”

"Really? I hope this day will come sooner." Niu Minghai looked sideways at Chen Zan seriously, and then took a big sip of herbal tea, obviously without any alcohol, he felt a little drunk, feeling very Wonderful, Chen Zan is a person who makes people feel hopeful.

After eating the barbecue, the two returned to the entrance of the Internet cafe. Chen Zan went to push the cart, and Niu Minghai said, "Don't ride the bike today. I'll drive you back."

Chen Zan shook his head: "Forget it, I'll go back by bike, and I can ride back tomorrow, or I'll have to walk here. On a hot day, walking for half an hour can kill someone."

Niu Minghai waved his hand: "Okay, be careful on the road."

Chen Zan was riding a bicycle, and then remembered something. Niu Minghai drove to their Internet cafe to surf the Internet. He knew that Yu Yan had gone to Jiuzhaigou for a trip. Could it be that he came here specially to find him?But tonight's supper was worth it, and it finally made him give up.Thinking of this, I can't help but feel extremely relaxed.Niu Minghai is still a very personable person, he must be able to find the person he is destined for.

Looking up at the few stars in the sky, Tan Tian and Tan Yang are still in Suzhou today, where do they live at night, are they asleep now?Will the two brothers have conflicts again?

When I got home, I looked at the empty room. It was only about forty square meters, but I felt that it was terribly empty. There was no one waiting for me. No matter how small the space was, I felt empty because of the loneliness in my heart.

Chen Zan took a shower, but he still didn't feel sleepy, probably because he had supper, his stomach was full and he felt a little uncomfortable, so he decided to clean up the house.The floor has been put away, and there is an empty corner in the living room. Chen Zan wondered whether to add a camp bed in the room, so that Tan Yang would not have to sleep on the sofa.

Chen Zan made some calculations, and then started to clean up the cardboard box he brought back from the dormitory. There were books, notebooks and other small items inside, as well as his photo albums and photo frames, but he didn't have time to put them out.

He rummaged around, took out the photo frame, and placed it on the desk. Inside was a photo of him and the three chat brothers. All three of them smiled a little silly, but he had a serious face, which didn't match.

This photo was taken when they graduated from elementary school. The school invited a photographer to take graduation photos for everyone, and also took private photos for everyone. Of course, there was an additional charge.At that time, color photos were just emerging, and Tan Tian insisted on taking him to take a group photo together, so he pulled Tan Yang and Tan Weidu, who were watching the fun, over to take a photo together.

The time should be April and May, the weather is not too hot, and everyone wears long sleeves.I was wearing a white shirt; Tan Tian was wearing a red cotton sweater with two white threads on the sleeves; Tan Yang had a rope hanging around his neck, on which was his house key, and a scotch tape loop , a bit silly; Tan Wei didn't grow up at all, and his nose was still hanging, he was a little kid.

Chen Zan looked at the photo, laughed, and placed it on the table.I also saw a notebook with a blue cover, took it out and flipped through it, and it turned out to be the diary I wrote when I went to No. [-] Middle School.

Chen Zan took the diary, sat by the bed, and opened the first page, "Friday, February 1998, 2, it rained. Today is the third day I came to No. 6 Middle School. I was in a bad mood. It rained when I finished class at noon. I looked around without an umbrella, and there were strangers all around. They walked away with umbrellas in groups of threes and twos. I didn’t find the person I wanted to see. If he was there, he would show his face very proudly. Bring the umbrella and say: "Hey, look at my clever tricks. Let's go to eat!" Even if there is no umbrella, he will definitely tear off his coat, cover us both, and then run to the cafeteria. He is not here, No one sent me an umbrella support, so I had to support myself, feeling terrible. I blame my sister for meddling. It’s raining, did that idiot bring his own umbrella?”

Looking at the original diary, Chen Zan felt a little sore in his heart, sucked his nose, and missed chatting very much, but unfortunately they didn't have mobile phones, so they couldn't just contact each other.The mobile phone is a bit expensive, why don't you buy one, at least you can contact him.

Chen Zan flipped through the notebook and wrote every page. He really wanted to write something now, so he stood up and looked around in the cardboard box, but there was no spare notebook.He also saw a cardboard box next to him, which was filled with chatting sundries. He didn't know if he had a new notebook, so he looked through it. There was a notebook with a lock, and there were two silver keys hanging beside the small lock.Chen Zan laughed, chatting like a little girl buying a notebook with a lock.

Chen Zan took the notebook and looked at it. It didn't look new, but it wasn't old either. He didn't know what to use it for.Chen Zan looked at the small key and hesitated, should he open it or not?

Chen Zan hesitated for a while, but in the end, curiosity killed the cat, and he opened the small lock. He said to himself: If it is really the secret of chatting, just pretend that you don't know anything.If it is empty, just bring it for your own use.

Chen Zan opened the light green hard cover, and on the title page it was written "the day of parting with Xiao Zan", which was related to himself. Chen Zan felt at ease now, and sat on the floor next to the bed to look through it.

It turned out to be a diary, and I started writing it in February 98, but it started a few days later than myself. On the first page, it read "Wednesday, February 2, 98, half cloudy and half sunny

I received a letter from Xiao Zan today, and I am so happy.I read the letter three times from the beginning to the end, and I said that he was very good in No. [-] Middle School, whether it was a teacher or a classmate, and I didn't say whether I was good or not.I know that he must have a bad life, how could he have a good life without me by his side.I'm not having a good time either.There is not a single missing word in the letter, hum, if I say something, I think I will lose a piece of meat!I think he's dying to fly to him right now.

Tonight is the festival, the Lantern Festival, and the school does not have evening self-study, so I just have time to write back to him. I wrote five pieces of paper in one go, and I want to continue writing, but I am afraid that he will criticize me and say that I have written too much. I spent so much time writing letters that I had to write what I didn't finish in my diary.

Old man Zeng, who teaches Chinese, said that the Lantern Festival is the day when lovers date in ancient times, that is, the ancient Valentine's Day, but Xiao Zan and I are on different sides of the sky, and we don't even have a moon, so we don't know how to pass on lovesickness.Suddenly I hate Chen Qiao a little bit, it's so troublesome, it's obviously just beating mandarin ducks with a stick! "

Chen Zan laughed as he looked at it, the two of them really understood each other, and they both kept a diary of the missing years.Chen Zan read one by one, until the middle of the night, he finally finished reading the more than 100 pages of the diary.

After reading it, I couldn't help but feel drowsy, my eyes were sore and swollen from tiredness, but my heart was full. I lay on the bed, hugged the pillow for chatting, sniffed the faint breath left on it, and finally fell asleep slowly.