extinguish the stars

A few years ago, the emergency department.

The sky has not yet fully lit up, and the city outside the window looks foggy under the shroud of lights.After Gu Qinghan finished dealing with the matter at hand, he passed by the gap in the corridor and glanced outside, his thoughts were emptied for a moment.

It was a big night, and I saw two critically ill patients and many mildly ill patients, and it was almost a whole night.He felt extremely tired, his eyes were sore and slightly sore, and his knees were involuntarily weak.

He leaned against the wall, thinking about the letters he received during the day with detailed addresses from foreign countries, and looked at the hazy sky from afar.A bit of cold and moist air leaked in through the window and hit his eyelashes.No one knows what this handsome young doctor is thinking.

He was supposed to leave after finishing the shift, but another critically ill patient was transferred from the emergency department. The doctors, nurses and family members hurried past, and someone bumped into him. It's like it exploded.

Gu Qinghan's complexion was snow-white, and cold sweat protruded from his forehead. He couldn't bear to bend down, feeling that his back was so stiff that he couldn't straighten up because of the pain.He barely supported himself so that he didn't look too embarrassed, and slowly returned to the office not far behind him and sat down for a while.

There was a new medicine he prescribed for himself in the drawer. He swallowed two pills and huddled in his seat waiting for the medicine to take effect.Probably because he was too tired last night, his mind was a little dizzy, and he gradually fell asleep.

Until Ning Ze woke him up.

"Go back to sleep, Qinghan, you should catch a cold here." Ning Ze cared.

Gu Qinghan has always been a quiet and gentle person, and any colleagues who mention him give good comments. They think that Dr. Gu has a good personality and a calm speech, but when you think about it, you will find that he looks very easy to get along with, but in fact he has a certain amount of advances and retreats. Everyone keeps a suitable distance and has never made close friends.Just like the moon looking at He Wanrou from a distance, in fact, the moonlight is cold when it shines down.Only Ning Ze never seemed to worry about the coldness revealed in his gentleness, and got along with him very naturally and even familiarly.

"Take good care of your body. After all, we are not local tyrants," Ning Ze gnawed on the pancakes while pointing outside, "The kind that can transfer helicopters to save people."

Gu Qinghan smiled slightly, "Is it the patient you sent just now?"

"Yes, cancer patients," Ning Ze took a bite of the cake and answered vaguely, "It turns out that those who are in private hospitals are basically dying, and they have been spending money to hang around. They really can't do it these days. I heard that we have a piece of equipment imported from Germany that can be saved, but just now I saw it with the director and felt..." Ning Ze shut his mouth in a timely manner, out of professional conscience and the patient's concern. Compassion, the words "sooner or later enough" were swallowed by him mixed with the pancakes.

"It is indeed very critical," Gu Qinghan said, "but the family members don't want to give up, so treatment is meaningful."

Ning Ze waved his hand, "It's not just that his brother doesn't want to give up. I think if he can't save the situation, he can chase him to the Naihe Bridge to snatch people. You didn't see his face."

It's like this, on the dividing line between life and death, most patients and their families are unwilling to part.Only when the sickle of death has been hooked on the patient's neck, all kinds of misunderstandings, debts, and years of entanglement in the past will make people feel hard to leave and cannot let go.As for Shiran, it was a helpless compromise after the scythe was drawn down.

There are only irreversible differences in the world, and there is never active relief.

When Gu Qinghan returned home, Aunt Qiao was making milk powder.Gu Nian obediently lay on the crib, moaning and chirping at the little toy hanging above her head, and occasionally kicking her little feet.

He was still a baby who couldn't speak, but when he saw Gu Qinghan, he immediately smiled and babbled something, his dark and bright eyes were very similar to Yan Jin.

"Nian Nian baby, do you miss Dad?" Gu Qinghan leaned over and gently hugged him into his arms.

They are two tiny specks of dust who have lost their loved ones in this world and rely on each other.

Gu Qinghan finally met the family members in the ICU who Ning Ze said "could catch up to Naihe Bridge and rob people".It was a tall man standing slumped outside the glass, his eyes bloodshot.And the patient lying in it was a very handsome young man even though he was seriously ill and couldn't hide his paleness.

Gu Qinghan suddenly thought of himself and Jiang Qi, if one day they had to face life and death, what would happen to the two of them.But soon he realized that his thoughts were so absurd. He and Jiang Qi were far away from each other. How could there be any chance to face life and death together.

But he really missed Jiang Qi.He saw too many life and death partings in the hospital, and instead of seeing through them, he felt the misery in the world and too many regrets.

Even so, holding the anonymous letter to Jiang Qi's address, Gu Qinghan still didn't have the courage to go after Jiang Qi.He felt that he owed Jiang Qi a lot.

The two events that made Gu Qinghan firmly determined to fly to a foreign country happened on the same day. The elevator he took broke down, and he fell straight down from the 26th floor and got stuck on the 12th floor. It is possible to fall to death in the space at any time.

His melancholy and stagnant heart finally realized at this moment that he had something to worry about in this world—the young Gu Nian, the Jiang Qi who couldn't let go.

Later, Gu Qinghan escaped from danger successfully, and when he arrived at the hospital, he met the man who had been suffering outside the door for a long time in the ICU. He was crying, and his voice could be called tearing like blood, "Ozawa! Don't..."

The patient he was guarding was being rescued. His body bounced high and then fell heavily. The thin line on the ECG monitor almost stopped rising and falling.

"Don't be like this... Please survive, give me a chance, don't leave with resentment and regret..." the man cried and begged.

Don't leave with resentment and regret.

Gu Qinghan's heart suddenly ached, if he himself died in the falling elevator, would Jiang Qi live forever with resentment and regret.

He wanted to see Jiang Qi so urgently that he hurriedly boarded the flight to London with only some necessary documents, and rushed to the detailed address on the letter after flying for more than ten hours.

It was already dark at that time, and there was a drizzle in the air.Gu Qinghan's heart was full of longing and apprehension, and he couldn't even feel the cold.He kept thinking, and when he met Jiang Qi, he wanted to start with the entanglements and unforgettable memories for a long time.For many years to come, he and Jiang Qi will have a shelter from wind and rain.

But then what.On the streets of a foreign country, in the cold rain, he saw the person he was thinking about day and night, quietly kissing someone else under a street lamp.The lights were dim, and he stood in the shadow without light, as if he and Jiang Qi were in two worlds.

He was late, or he shouldn't have come.

Gu Qinghan watched from afar, feeling pain from the cold from his heart to his fingertips.In the icy rain, the face shattered as quickly as white porcelain.

Jiang Qi, he shouted silently in his heart, Jiang Qi, goodbye... Do you want to, look back at me.

This reunion and parting was only known to Gu Qinghan from the beginning to the end.He turned around and walked back, his steps were weak, like a traveler who had trekked thousands of mountains and rivers, but watched the world collapse at the end, lost his destination, and would wander endlessly from now on.

On the return plane, Gu Qinghan was so delirious that he was drowsy and dreaming all the time.

I was saying goodbye in my dream.

Reality is also saying goodbye.

He thought they would never have a future.