extinguish the stars

"Daddy, can I go out and play..."

Not long after Jiang Qi left, the children who were lying on the table drawing pictures couldn't sit still.He crouched by the french window and looked outside for a while, and saw that the flowers downstairs were all in bloom, and there were other children playing in twos and threes, so he ran to Gu Qinghan's side, hugged his arms limply and acted like a baby.

"Is it possible, Dad?"

Gu Qinghan rubbed his hair, and couldn't bear to refuse. On the other hand, he also felt that he could see more clearly than before, and wanted to go down for a walk, so he groped to put on a coat for Gu Nian, and put on a down jacket himself, and picked up the river. With a thermos cup filled with warm water, the father and son supported each other into the elevator and went downstairs.

The sun outside is good, making people feel warm, and because of the breeze, it is not as boring as in the room.Gu Qinghan sat down on the bench, and Gu Nian was playing with other friends on the square a few steps away from him.The laughter of the children, the slight sound of the spring breeze brushing the trees, although the whole body was still slightly cold, but Gu Qinghan felt the freshness of life for a long time.

That's great, he thought he wouldn't be able to survive the last cold and difficult winter, but now, Jiang Qi led him firmly to the warming spring.

"Father!" Gu Nian ran towards him, "Here you are!" The child cheered and held a small flower picked from the garden in front of Gu Qinghan.

"Thank you for Niannian." The little flower was on the tip of his nose, with a delicate fragrance, which was the precious heart of the child.He took it and put it gently in the palm of his hand.

The children ran back happily again.

Gu Qinghan leaned against the back of the chair, raised his head slightly, and the fine sunlight shone on his clear and handsome face.After staying like this for a while, he felt that his heart became clearer, and he looked towards the children's laughter.

Although his eyes are not very clear, but Gu Nian is wearing a blue coat, bright and lively, he can still see.

The child was playing with a few other friends, chasing each other and running on the small square. They were too excited to look at their feet, and fell down the steps when they tripped.

Gu Qinghan has been watching him since just now, and as soon as he noticed that his figure was unstable, he quickly got up and helped him.But his vision was blurry after all, after catching Gu Nian, he couldn't see clearly that the steps under his feet were uneven and stepped on the air, and he fell down from the platform that was not too high.

Gu Nian fell into his arms, and his small body hit him with a sudden pain in his chest.He subconsciously supported the ground with one hand so as not to let Gu Nian bump it.

"dad......"

"Are you injured?" Gu Qinghan's face was pale, his heart was pounding, he groped the kid's limbs, lest he would be like last time.

"No," Gu Nian shook his head, "Dad, I'm fine."

Gu Qinghan's heart settled down, only then did he feel a sharp pain in the palm of his hand that was supporting the ground, maybe it was scratched.

He wanted to stand up with Gu Nian in his arms, but he was a bit reluctant. He could only let Gu Nian stand upright. He tried to stand up by himself, but the pain in his chest gradually became more and more dense, making him unable to do what he wanted.

"Dad..." Gu Nian realized that his father might have been injured because of his own reasons, and felt very sad when his eyes turned red.

"It's okay, don't be afraid." Gu Qinghan hurriedly comforted him softly when he heard his voice tremble.

Suddenly someone came over from nowhere, grabbed Gu Qinghan's shoulders and lifted him up from the ground lightly and steadily.This person's stature was very similar to Jiang Qi's, but his aura was completely different from Jiang Qi's.

Gu Qinghan frowned slightly.

"Doctor Gu, are you okay?" the man asked in a low voice.

The voice finally confirmed Gu Qinghan's guess, it was Jiang He.

"I'm fine, thank you." Gu Qinghan was actually a little dizzy, but he still tried his best to stand still.

"Nian Nian, long time no see," Jiang He bowed down to greet Gu Nian, "Did you miss me?" His voice was low but soft.

The kid looked at him and then at Gu Qinghan, then nodded slowly.

"I miss you very much too." Jiang He stretched his eyebrows, he stretched out his arms and gently hugged the child, and said with a gentle smile, "I have a few words with Dad, can Nian Nian go play for a while?"

Gu Nian raised his head and looked at Gu Qinghan questioningly. Although Gu Qinghan couldn't see clearly, he could probably guess his expression, so he nodded, "Go."

"Doctor Gu, I'm sorry about what happened in the hospital last time." The two sat down on the bench before Jiang He spoke slowly.He didn't forget that when he threatened Gu Qinghan with his father's disapproval of the relationship between him and Jiang Qi, although the man expressed his attitude firmly, he immediately covered his mouth and nose and vomited blood.

Jiang He knew very well that even though Gu Qinghan recognized Jiang Qi, what he said would still hurt him, otherwise he wouldn't bear to hurt himself like that.

"Is your body recovering well? I think your complexion is better than before."

"It's much better, thank you for your concern." Gu Qinghan couldn't see his expression clearly, and felt a little uneasy in his heart, "You came this time because of Nian Nian."

Jiang He was silent for a moment before opening his mouth, but he didn't answer the question, "Thank you just now," he rubbed his hands between his brows, "Otherwise he might fall."

Gu Qinghan wanted to say that protecting this child was an instinct he had cultivated over the past four years, but he still couldn't get out of his mouth.He felt that if he said it like this, it would be like declaring his ownership of Gu Nian, reminding Jiang He of the estrangement between his biological father and his child.

He couldn't say that.

"I originally made up my mind to bring Nian Nian back to me." Jiang He's voice was very calm, as if there were no waves in stagnant water. "These years have been separated, and there are very few people around me. Doctor Gu, I know When there is still a little life in this world, which is the crystallization of me and Yan Jin, you may not understand the feeling of surprise and heartache."

"But just like Jiang Qi said, you worked so hard to raise Nian Nian, what right do I have to take him away based on a little bit of blood. But Dr. Gu, if I knew Nian Nian existed from the beginning, I would not care about it." Raise him conscientiously and love him dearly." Jiang He's voice trembled slightly at this moment, he paused, and continued, "Unfortunately, I missed this assumption."

Gu Qinghan frowned slightly, and said softly: "I don't want to mention you again until I die. I was actually puzzled at that time. Since my heart is so desperate, why bother to risk my life to give birth to this child for you. Later I gradually figured it out, maybe love and hatred for a person can exist at the same time."

Having said this, he finally heard Jiang He choked up, as if he had endured endless regret.

Jiang He lowered his head, rubbed his face with his hands, sucked his nose, and looked at Gu Nian who was playing not far away.

"I'm sorry for Yan Jin." That's all he said. He didn't bring up other things about the past, and swallowed them all back into his stomach.

Gu Qinghan didn't want to pursue the past between him and Yan Jin, so he stopped asking.

"So you came this time to take Nian Nian away?"

Jiang He was silent for a long time.Sitting with him in the spring breeze, Gu Qinghan gradually felt a little cold.

"For so long, I have been thinking and struggling every day. Although I am not reconciled, I feel that Nian Nian should be happier if I stay with you."

He always remembered Gu Nian and Gu Qinghan's collapsed crying when they separated, and he never forgot how sullen and silent the children were by his side.Gu Qinghan also loves this child unreservedly like this, and has been caring for him for several years.

His child has only deeply relied on and trusted Gu Qinghan these years, so it is impossible for him to rush towards him like he did to Gu Qinghan.If there is a strong separation, the children will definitely be hurt, and may never be willing to accept their kindness and love.These days, he tossed and turned almost every night, making this decision was even more heartbroken.

"Doctor Gu—" Jiang He said with difficulty, "Nian Nian may have to trouble you to take care of him."

When he finally left that day, he hugged Gu Nian again and kissed the child's face, "Nian Nian, I'm leaving." His heart sank unsteadily, his voice was hoarse and dry, as if it had been polished by sandpaper.

But at this time, the child gently hugged him back, and said softly, "Goodbye, uncle, you are welcome to come to our house to play often."

"...Okay." Jiang He nodded with a smile, but couldn't hold back his tears.

On the car on the way back, he looked at the little flower that Gu Qinghan gave him in his palm, trembling his back and moaning suppressedly, for the past he regretted, for the beloved who never woke up, and for the future that he could not have.