Growth pain

Yuan Sen walked into the living room and didn't turn on the light immediately, but instead asked Lu Shining, "Why don't you turn on the light?"

Lu Shining raised his head, and carefully traced the man's face under the moonlight. He always softened his heart when facing this face.

"Has anyone seen it? How is the other party?"

Yuan Sen was slightly stunned, and put down the hand that just touched the switch, "Who is it?"

Lu Shining didn't answer, Yuan Sen also thought of what was going on, his face changed, "Where did you know that?"

"Aunt Fang called me and said that you are going to see the woman today, so let me watch you."

"Then you listened to her?"

Lu Shining nodded and shook his head again, "Didn't you go there by yourself?"

Yuan Sen took a few steps forward and grabbed Lu Shining's wrist, half-holding him, "I didn't go on a blind date, I went out today to meet Zhang Lei."

Lu Shining was sure he heard it right, and didn't know what expression to make for a moment: "Zhang Lei?"

"I have something to talk to him about." Yuan Sen looked at him with an indifferent expression, "Do you think I will go on a blind date without telling you?"

"But Aunt Fang said..."

Yuan Sen interrupted him, his eyes were dangerous and sharp, "Lu Shining, do you believe her or me? Why do you think I came back so early today? I didn't go to the appointment, the person who went on a blind date was Zhang Lei."

Lu Shining was confused by this set of arguments, "Wait a minute, you said Zhang Lei...why did Zhang Lei go to meet your blind date?"

Yuan Sen took a deep breath and explained to him with difficulty holding down his anger: "A few days ago he himself said that he really wanted to go on a blind date, so I pushed WeChat to him."

Lu Shining: "..."

Lu Shining: "Does that girl know?"

"My mother forwarded WeChat to me, and I sent it directly to Zhang Lei without adding it. From the beginning to the end, the two of them were chatting. Do you think she knows?"

"Then you promise..."

Yuan Sen said with a sullen face, "I promised for Zhang Lei, they want to meet up, and it happens that I can rest for a few days, otherwise my mother will keep urging me."

This series of events revealed absurdity, Lu Shining hesitated for a long time and could only ask: "Why did you go to see Zhang Lei?"

Yuan Sen clenched his wrist tightly, and his flesh ached from the staggering. Lu Shining knew he was wrong, so he didn't say a word.

Yuan Sen stared at him and said word by word: "Because you don't want to tell me anything, I will never know which sentence is true and which is false, and you will bury everything in your heart regardless of whether it is important or not. , even your friend knows more than me.

"Lu Shining, you never believed me from the very beginning, you have been looking for a house to find a way out, and you are planning to run away someday!"

Lu Shining opened his mouth, unable to refute.

It seems that this is really the case, what Yuan Sen said is right.

He had no choice but to say: "Aunt Fang asked you to go on a blind date, and you never told me about it."

Yuan Sen replied immediately: "Do I dare to say it? I told you to push me out like this?"

"But you are not born gay, you don't have much feeling for men, and you still think we are two types of people..."

"Isn't it over if I have feelings for you?"

Lu Shining's eyelashes trembled, "It's not like this..."

"Going to cry again, take back your tears, don't cry for me!"

Yuan Sen felt that all his anger was burning on a sponge, and the scorched black part was also soft, and even the pain was lukewarm, burning in his heart one after another.

Lu Shining couldn't help leaning back on the sofa, his back straightened, and he didn't dare to blink his eyes, "I don't want to cry."

It's not his fault that his eyes are big.

Lu Shining was somewhat aggrieved, and tried to pull his hand back, "You don't have to be with me, it's just that I want to run away from you so I reluctantly stay with me..."

Yuan Sen frowned: "Lu Shining, do you think so?"

Everything seemed to be caused by him making trouble out of no reason, Lu Shining couldn't face such questioning.

It turns out that the relationship between them has never changed, taking care of and being taken care of, Yuan Sen will pamper him and punish him, like educating a child, raising a puppy, giving candy and beating him.

He took a deep breath and started from the beginning: "It was Chen Shuangyi who said he wanted to chase me, and you said you would try it. You have never thought of it before. Because I am going to leave your sight, after being with others It is impossible for us to go back to the past, so you said let's try it. You don't realize what men are going to do, so you have to try it with me. Yuan Sen, you liked women before, and you won't like them for no reason... ..."

Yuan Sen interrupted him, "I like you now."

Lu Shining didn't feel the slightest bit of joy, but just shook his head and said, "If you don't like it, you want me to be more obedient and good-looking. It's no different from the previous request."

"Lu Shining, I hugged you, kissed you, and slept with you. You said that I don't like you, okay, so tell me now what counts?"

Lu Shining said softly, "You just don't have any better options."

Yuan Sen felt unbelievable, and couldn't help but ask with an emphatic tone: "What did you say?"

"You also said yourself that you came back to China because you were bored. You wanted to see me and reshape our relationship. Everything was up to you, but I was out of your control, so you tried every means to fill this gap. Fill it back... Yuan Sen, you don’t have to be me, I’m not the only option, you’ll meet someone else later, I’m a man, I like men, I’m fixed there for the rest of my life, you’re different, There are other options.

"And you can prevaricate the blind date this time, what about the next time? Aunt Fang, what will you do, she has already collapsed once, if you let her know that you are hanging out with me..."

Before Lu Shining finished speaking, Yuan Sen interrupted him.

"So you're leaving me again."

Lu Shining was stunned.

The man squeezed onto the sofa with him, resting his head on his shoulder, "Are you going to abandon me again?"

Lu Shining subconsciously shook his head.

"That's not the case. I won't escape this time."

"Liar." Yuan Sen said in a muffled voice.

"I didn't lie to you." Lu Shining stroked Yuan Sen's hair and comforted the injured puppy, "I won't leave, I won't leave Chuanyang, and I will bring gifts to you and Aunt Fang during the holidays, and I will call you the same as before elder brother."

Yuan Sen tightened his arms and hugged him, "You don't believe that I love you."

Lu Shining blinked, "Love is too heavy a word, but I know you love me."

Love him like a younger brother, and give him all favoritism.

He and Yuan Sen grew up together, and loving him seems to be engraved in his bones, and he believes that Yuan Sen is the same.

It's just that sometimes what I want is not the same as what you give.

Although this is regrettable, it is also impossible.

"Lu Shining, how do I prove that I love you? Is it enough to say ten thousand words?" Yuan Sen said, "I won't tell you to be more obedient in the future, I will be more obedient."

Lu Shining couldn't help but smile, his eyes were clear and sparkled, it seemed that he had nothing to be afraid of at this point.

The most painful part has been said, and he can slowly digest the rest.

He doesn't regret having this dream, but the dream will always wake up.

There is nothing wrong with Yuan Sen treating him, it is just too good, even if it is not love, it seems that he is willing to spend his whole life.

But if it wasn't for love, it would be too bad for Yuan Sen to spend his whole life in it.

Yang Qiongfang would go crazy if she knew that Yuan Sen was getting along with the neighbor's son. She finally got out of such a deep predicament, and now she has to face another one.

Yuan Sen doesn't have to be him, and he will meet more people in the future. They just exist in each other's life for too long, and if they want to let go suddenly, there is definitely no way to let go so quickly.

But what people are best at is forgetting. When I fell down when I was a child, I will forget the pain after a while. When I grow up, I will forget some things in my childhood... Wait a year or two and look back at the present, and I will definitely not feel the pain anymore.

So Lu Shining shook his head and said, "But like you said, I never believed you from the very beginning."

After he finished speaking, Yuan Sen suddenly started to kiss him and undressed him.Lu Shining couldn't get away, the man suddenly pressed kisses on his cheek and neck like crazy.Half of his body was hanging outside, grabbing the edge of the table to barely stabilize himself, but Yuan Sen still leaned forward, as if this could prove something.

In the end, both of them fell to the ground, Lu Shining's hand slipped from one side of the table to the other in a panic.He gasped suddenly, the moonlight shone coldly on the white tiles, his hands felt warm, and he knew that there was blood gushing out.

Lu Shining said: "Wait...the knife..."

Yuan Sen also sensed that something was wrong, Lu Shining pressed his wrist firmly with one hand, panting from the pain, tried to stand up but couldn't, looking a bit embarrassed.

Yuan Sen's expression was at a loss, he was so stunned that he couldn't speak, he didn't know his reaction until a few seconds later, he hurriedly got up and looked around for the medicine box.

On the contrary, the injured Lu Shining was very calm, and said first, "The box is in the cabinet on your left."

Yuan Sen found it and quickly ran back and knelt in front of him. The medicine box opened after he hit it twice.

Lu Shining slowed down a little, and tried to appease the other party while pressing his wrist: "I put the fruit knife on the coffee table, I forgot, I'm sorry, it's my fault."

When Lu Shining fell off the sofa, he held the blade directly. The wound on his hand was quite deep, and Yuan Sen's hand holding the bandage trembled a little, like a dog who made a mistake and clipped its tail.

He had no choice but to say aloud over and over again: "It's okay, I don't hurt, I'm sorry."

As a result, Yuan Sen made mistakes more and more frequently, and gradually he became silent, allowing the other party to fiddle with his hands.

The bandage on his wrist was tightly tied by Yuan Sen, his whole palm was cold and white, and he had to apply iodine again when the bleeding stopped, but he didn't dare to say anything because sweat was dripping from his forehead.

It would be a lie to say that it didn't hurt, such a deep cut made him feel like dying of pain, but he didn't dare to show it, fearing that Yuan Sen would become more nervous and blame himself, so he forcibly endured it.

After finally sterilizing and wrapping it with gauze, Yuan Sen suddenly said, "Is everything I did wrong?"

Lu Shining raised his head, Yuan Sen had already turned on the light, and the dazzling white light fell on his eyes, making the eye sockets sore.

"If I hadn't forced such a capricious request, you could have a good life with others." Yuan Sen held his wrist, this time the strength was so light that it was almost imperceptible, and there was only a trace of itching, "Zhang Lei said that Chen Shuangyi used to After chasing you, you almost agreed."

Lu Shining's eyes flickered, "Why..."

"If it weren't for me, you would agree to him this time, right?" Yuan Sen carefully touched his injured hand, "I seem to always trouble you and force you to make choices you don't want to make. Without me you Wouldn't you be happier?"

Lu Shining opened his mouth, seeing Yuan Sen's expression, he knew that his heart was softening again.

But enough is enough, they have been entangled for so long, there must be one person who will cut off this relationship first.

"Well, maybe."

When Yuan Sen heard this sentence, his whole body froze.

Lu Shining straightened up his heart, "I think we should separate for a while."

After a long time, Yuan Sen asked: "Xiao Lu, if we are separated for a while, will you still come to me?"

Lu Shining said: "...Yes, yes."

This is a very bad lie.

Although they both knew it was a lie, Yuan Sen still said hopefully, "Well, I'll wait for you."

The author has something to say: compare your heart