[Spell Return] Beast of Despair

61.

—June 2018, Tokyo, Nishitama-gun—

Yes one is silent, but actually quite dazed.She had no idea what she was missing, and no matter how hard she thought about it, she felt clueless.

Is it some inconspicuous little thing?For example, like a certain dress of hers?If it's clothes, it's quite reasonable to disappear without a trace, after all, she hasn't cared about the question of "what should I wear today" for a long time.

"It wasn't your clothes that I secretly hid." Gojo Satoru said as if he had read her mind, "But it's really a small thing."

"Can't you just tell me?"

If you insist on putting on such a mysterious and mysterious attitude, you really don't understand his thoughts.

Could it be that something very important and valuable from her was taken away?It was a little tense.

"Speak quickly."

Being urged by Shizhi so much, Gojo Satoru stopped dawdling.

"Well, I actually took it away..." He took out something from his pocket, and it seemed that he heard the sound of metal rubbing against each other, "...it's this."

He put something thin and loose in Yeshi's hand.The inside of the car was too dim, and she could barely see anything with the street lights outside the window, but she could feel a small ring lying in her palm.

For some reason, her heartbeat suddenly became much faster.She felt a little flustered, even though she still didn't know what Gojo Satoru had taken from her.

She raised her hand and groped for a while with trembling fingertips on the roof before finally touching the switch for the dome light.The warm but dim orange light shone down, quickly illuminating everything around her, so she finally saw clearly what she was holding in her hand.

A slender golden necklace was a birthday gift from her younger brother Daisuke one year, but because she seldom wears jewelry, it has always been stored in a box.

This necklace is the simplest style without any pendants or other decorations.But now, there is a silver ring on the necklace, which is similar to the shape of a Mobius strip.A few letters are lightly engraved on the inside of the ring.In dim light, the letters are difficult to read.But even if he closes his eyes, he still knows what is engraved on the ring.

"Satoru & Koreyuki"

is their name.

It was Gojo Satoru's engagement ring—something that shouldn't be on her necklace.

Yezhi took a deep breath, but felt his entire chest throbbing with it.It didn't feel very good.

She didn't know why she didn't find out that the birthday gift necklace was hidden by Gojo Satoru, and she didn't notice that she had lost such an important thing.Is it because she lives too much like a walking dead?

It seems pointless to try to answer this question now.Anyway the necklace is back, which is good.

But the ring on the necklace, what does that mean...

"I just want to put these two things together, there is no special meaning. And it won't be easy to lose it this way."

Gojo Satoru explained this to her.

"Actually, I've always worn the ring. I didn't take it off until I rescued you from the roof in January-you'd be very upset if you saw me still wearing this ring."

"Well. I will."

"I knew it." Gojo Satoru laughed, "It's time to return the necklace to you. Be more careful next time, don't ignore such an important thing."

"What about... the ring?"

She didn't even dare to touch Gojo Satoru's ring.Even just watching, she felt guilty and sad.

"Oh——I'll put this with you first." His tone had a sense of understatement, "After you get back your own ring, return it to me. You can definitely get it Back to the ring, isn't it?"

Yezhi didn't say anything, but pursed his lips unconsciously.She nodded, silently clasping her hands together.The ring and necklace were stuck in the palm of her hand, but the cool temperature didn't make her feel cold.

"I'm angry." She said softly, without any anger in her tone, "You shouldn't just take my things without saying anything."

Gojo Satoru covered the corners of his lips and mercilessly exposed her lies.

"You're not angry."

"Angry." She repeated stubbornly.

"Okay." Gojo Satoru simply followed her words, "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Can you forgive me?"

Yezhi tilted his head, and said ambiguously: "Barely can."

"That's fine. Well, I've finished my story. According to the rules, it's your turn to share yours now."

"……Um."

Yezhi fiddled with the necklace, but fell silent.She didn't know what to say, and it seemed that there was nothing worth saying in her life.

After contemplating for a long time, she still had no clue.She was at a loss.But some words came out unconsciously.

"I know I've been...very unkind to you lately. But that's not because I hate you. Wu, I never hated you. Everything I do is because I hate myself."

Once these words are spoken, there seems to be no room for redemption.Ye Zhi blinked tiredly.

She thought, she could only go on talking.Even if what she said next was something she didn't want to say to Gojo Satoru, it was the worst and most difficult feeling to express.

"I hate the way I am now, I feel that the incomplete body looks very distorted, so I don't want others to see it, and I don't want to be seen by you. I feel that my nature and my body were eaten by that curse spirit And my heart is no longer whole."

His vision suddenly became hazy, but after a few seconds it became clear again.It was as if something heavy was weighing on her.She continued:

"Even now, I still want to die. I've been told I'm not to blame for the accident and terrible sacrifice. But I've also been told I killed everyone and it's all mine Wrong. I... I don't know the answer."

These two completely different theories tore at her, until now, and she still didn't know the answer.The so-called truth seems to be nowhere to be found.She can only choose to hate herself, so at least all the bad emotions can have a backing.But if she tried to think that everything had nothing to do with her, then her hatred would have no foothold at all.

She can't blame anyone, she can only blame the elusive "curse spirit of the Yae family".

But the birth of the "Yae Family's Curse Spirit" should also be blamed on other people.In this way, the hatred is stretched into a thin thread, as if it will be torn off at any moment.She doesn't want this.

So hate yourself anyway, at least she is real.And the "curse spirit of the Yae family" is a curse accumulated in the long past.

"If I said it wasn't your fault, you wouldn't believe me, would you?" With a smiling tone as always, but Gojo Satoru wasn't actually laughing, "Since you think it's your fault, then I don't deny you either. Just, let me correct you, it's not just your fault. You're at fault, your brothers and sisters are at fault, and so am I. On the night of the accident, I presented you with a bad suggestion. If I had said something completely different, the ending would have been different."

"what."

Shizhi sneered and shrugged her shoulders. The turbulent mood and a sudden thought made her extremely sad.

"Then have you ever thought about what kind of future we would have if that accident hadn't happened? You must have thought about it." The words hurt every part of her heart, she said almost decisively, as if pregnant With hatred, he said word by word, "You must have thought about it. Definitely."

Too sharp words can hurt others as well as oneself, but Wujo Satoru just looked into her eyes.

"Never once did I think 'what if'. You know I wouldn't do that kind of thing."

"...Maybe." She looked away and changed the subject abruptly, "Why are you so persistent in helping me? I know you're not just for the ring."

"Because I love you."

He suddenly laughed and pressed his palm lightly on his heart.

"This love can't go away anyway."

If it was before, the one who heard this would definitely raise the corners of his mouth and throw himself into her arms with a smile.But at the moment there is no such "if" between them.For the "if" he told, Yezhi only felt fear.

She curled up, buried her face in her arms, and kept shaking her head.

"But I don't even love myself, and I dare not love anyone anymore."

"That's why I want to love you more. And I never hate you, and you don't hate me either." He smiled confidently as always, "If you don't hate, you like it. That's how I always understand it."

His idea is undoubtedly fallacious.Yes, he wants to deny it, but he still can't say "I don't like you", even if it's a lie.

She just couldn't say it.

All she could say was that even with their hands and feet back, they would no longer be able to have the future they had envisioned in the past.

"Speaking of the future... On the day you broke up, you asked me if I had thought about our future. I didn't answer at that time because I couldn't answer, because I really hadn't thought about it."

Then, he hurried away again.After that, he hasn't been able to meet her again until January of this year.So he still can't tell Shi Zhi, in his imagination, what kind of future he and such Shi Zhi will have.

But it doesn't really matter at all.Because he didn't need to bother thinking about such things at all.

"Why do we have to conceive of a future?"

His words seemed to be questioning, instantly causing Shi Zhi to fall into deep thought.

Then, I heard him say:

"From this moment on, everything we have will be piled up into our future. So there is no need to spend every day thinking about the future—we just need to look at this moment that belongs to us alone."

"Well... I see. I know."

A hoarse response.Yeshi had buried his face completely in the crook of his arms.Besides, she didn't know what to say at all.

She thought about her future more than once, but all she could see were bad, disgusting, and repulsive images.But now someone told her, just look at it now.

She thought that she might be a little surprised, or she might be shocked, but the tears she had hidden for a long time came out silently.She hadn't cried for a long time.

Rather than saying "I didn't cry", it would be better to say "I can't cry", as if all the sadness had dried up.But only when facing Gojo Satoru, she still becomes like a fragile crybaby.

He really wanted to laugh at himself, but Gojo Satoru would definitely not laugh at her.

Gently, she hugged Gojo Satoru.She didn't know why she did it, but she did it.Maybe this is what she has always wanted to do, but she is afraid of it from the bottom of her heart.

I was afraid that he would hate myself like this, and I was also afraid that I would hate the most real appearance at this moment.

But she didn't seem to hate herself holding him that much.So is he.

"...I'm sorry." She murmured softly, "I'm sorry. I...are not gentle with you."

Gojo Satoru curled his lips, but didn't say anything immediately, as if he was noncommittal.

After a while, he hugged him.

"Forgive you....Actually, I lied just now, and I thought about 'what if'."

"What if I hadn't had an accident?"

"No, no, that's not the case." He shook his head in denial, and twitched the corners of his mouth unnaturally, "What I think is, if we get married earlier—for example, after dating for two years—then the result Will it become a little different? After all, divorce is much more difficult than breaking up, and we won't be separated so easily... Just get married sooner."

"But there is no 'better soon' between us."

"I know."

He always knew.

Gojo Satoru closed his eyes with a smile, and hugged her even tighter.

"Don't wait for the future, and don't think about the past, it's the present. Marry me, yes."

62.

—December 2014, 12, Mount Shirane, Gunma—

"When are you going to marry Mr. Gojo?"

The younger brother Daisuke who was walking behind suddenly asked loudly, almost staggering in shock.She turned her head in a hurry, glared angrily at the serious Daisuke, and subconsciously raised her voice:

"Why do you ask this?"

"I'm curious!" He said frankly, "You have been in love for so long, no matter what you think, you should rush to the next stage, but I always feel that you two have no idea at all. Could it be that you don't want to get married? ?"

"Uh... this... I didn't say I didn't want to." Yezhi touched his cheek and was forced to start thinking about marriage, "But this kind of thing is not something I can unilaterally decide, right? Let's talk , Gojo Satoru hasn’t proposed to me yet.”

"Then why don't you propose to him?"

"What strange words did you say!" Shizhi patted him on the back relentlessly, "How can a woman propose marriage on her own initiative!"

Daisuke wrinkled his face and kept touching the place where she hurt him, his expression looked pitiful, and even his tone was pitiful.

"Why hit me...and this kind of situation is not uncommon. Sister, you should take the initiative."

"Are you so looking forward to my marriage with Gojo Satoru?"

Daisuke nodded sincerely: "Yes! I'm looking forward to it!"

"Tsk tsk tsk...you unworthy brat." Shi Zhi poked his forehead pretending to be annoyed, "Compared to my love situation, I should pay more attention to myself. Hurry up and find a girlfriend Bring it home to make your favorite sister happy!"

"If I could find a girlfriend, how could I still be so idle and urge you to get married?" He curled his lips and looked even more pitiful, "No girl likes your favorite brother."

"How could no one like it? Obviously our Daisuke is so handsome and has such a good personality!"

Shizhi was not stingy with his own praise, as he talked, he took out a small mirror from his bag, held it in front of him, put his arms around his shoulders, and squeezed into a corner of the mirror.The similar faces and smiles of the siblings are reflected in the mirror.

"Look, isn't our younger brother Jun very handsome?"

"You must be saying that to boast that you are beautiful by the way, right?"

"I don't need to beat around the bush like this." Shizhi pushed the drooping hair behind his ears, put away the mirror, and said calmly, "I thought I was pretty."

"Wow, so narcissistic!"

"This should be an accurate self-positioning."

"It's obviously narcissism."

"If you talk nonsense again, I will immediately send your information to the dating agency."

"No, I didn't say anything, hehehehe."

The author has something to say: It’s sugar (convinced)