[Spell Return] Beast of Despair

55.

—August 2015, 8, Tokyo, High School of Magic—

Strangely, Gojo Satoru didn't feel too much shock when he heard Yezhi's words, but he didn't expect such a result long ago.

He was just wondering if she said such things out of sincerity.

It's not that they didn't quarrel before, and of course they also had the stupid experience of getting angry with each other for several days over trivial matters, but no matter under what circumstances, they never said the word "break up" to each other.

Such sharp and decisive words must never be said, even if they are just angry words.

But now she uttered this word that Wujo Satoru had never thought of so bluntly and unabashedly, that he could only stand stiffly where he was, and all kinds of messy thoughts occupied almost all of his thoughts.He wanted to approach Shizhi, but she stopped him.

Not surprisingly.

"Just stand here." Her fingertips resting on the armrest trembled, her voice became a little sharper, "Don't come over."

"……it is good."

Gojo Satoru stopped in his tracks and finally cleared up his messy thoughts, but the hand behind his back started to unconsciously turn the ring on his middle finger again.At this moment, only this extraordinarily clear touch can keep him calm and sober.

"If you need a space to be alone." He tried to make his tone sound as if he didn't care about it, "I will keep a distance from you for the time being, and I will try not to disturb you during this time. I know that I have affected your mood for the first few visits. When you get better, I will..."

"No need."

Decisive and indifferent rejection.

"As long as you agree to break up with me, I have no other expectations."

Gojo Satoru felt like his brain was about to explode.He kept touching the back of his neck, but this action didn't make him feel much easier, on the contrary, it accumulated more pressure for him.

He still wants to get closer.

Want to hug her, want to tell her, really don't need to bear everything alone like this, he is by her side.

But she just took a step closer, but she curled up and buried her face in the folds of the hospital gown.The messy hair hanging down completely blocked her expression, but Gojo Satoru could see it clearly.

She is afraid.The object of fear is of course myself.

He stopped, took a few steps back, and kept shaking his head.

"No. We shouldn't discuss this kind of thing." He said slowly, "In your state, we can't discuss whether to break up or not."

"I think it's okay, I'm sober now. I haven't been sedated for a full 24 hours and I know better than ever what I'm talking about."

It also hurts more than ever, even though the wound has already healed.

After finishing this conversation, she must give herself an injection.The waking reality was so real that it only terrified her.

But if it was just such rhetoric, then Gojo Satoru would absolutely not accept it.

"At least you should tell me the reason for breaking up. But before that, I want to state my thoughts in advance-that is, I don't want to be separated from you."

"Why? Well, good."

Yezhi had already thought that he would say that, and had already prepared the answer early.

"Because I don't think anyone can love someone who is broken in body and mind, and I don't think I have any emotion called 'love' in my heart anymore. I hate it when you look at me, and I hate myself .I'm done, I'm done. Now that's the case, let's stop torturing each other. It's best to end now."

"What are you talking about? What do you mean 'it's best to end now'? Don't make decisions for the two of us!" He unconsciously raised his voice, "I love you, always, This is impossible to change. Have you forgotten, I said when I proposed, no matter what, I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. Don't tell me you have forgotten. "

She lowered her head, sighed tiredly, and murmured: "Thank you for reminding me, I finally regained some memory."

It was words that deliberately provoked his emotions.Gojo Satoru clenched his fists tightly, and the meridians bulging due to excessive force seemed to reveal something.He looked at Shizhi's pale face, the reality was framed by his vision, but all he thought of was the past.

He still wanted to redeem it, but he didn't know what to say, his breathing made his chest throbbing with dull pain.He hadn't experienced the feeling called pain for a long time.

How bad.He really didn't know what to say.

"Don't do this... yes, don't..."

"You are really not like you now." Her words seemed to be talking to herself, "Please act more like Wujo Satoru, okay?"

"This is what Wujo Wu is doing." His words were decisive, "This is also completely determined by Wujo Wu."

Yezhi didn't say anything, just tilted his head, and after a while, he raised his chin slightly as if he remembered something.

"Ah... I see. If you don't want to break up just because you feel that you need to be by my side at this special time, then let it go. If you want your behavior to be praised by others, Then I will praise you."

She turned her head to look at him wearily, her dim eyes looked like undulating abyss under the backlight.

This was the first time Shizhi took the initiative to look at him after the accident happened.But Gojo Satoru didn't expect that she would make this little move he expected for the sake of breaking up.

Her lips moved, and Gojo Satoru heard her say, "It's great that you persisted for so long and didn't give up on me. So you can let me go now."

Gojo Satoru was inexplicably annoyed by the flat, almost terrific tone.He pressed the ring so hard that the name engraved on the inside seemed to press on his bones.

"Don't use malicious speculation to vent your dissatisfaction."

He spoke word by word, but got a chuckle from Yeshi.

It doesn't seem very appropriate to say "laugh", it is more like a moan of pain than a smile.

Silence, again silence.Even the distance between each other has not changed, and the sense of time existence is so weak that it almost does not exist at all.It wasn't until Yezhi spoke again that time seemed to flow again.

"The future..." She seemed to be saying unrelated sentences, "Have you thought about our future? Do you dare to think about what kind of future a disabled person like me can have?"

Gojo Satoru pursed his lips, but did not answer.

He didn't dare to answer either.Because he really never thought about it.

Not saying anything is the best answer, but it's a pity that Zhizhi can't laugh anymore, he doesn't even have the strength to sigh and shake his head.She can only say:

"Let's break up. I'll give you back the money for the engagement ring, that's all. I don't want to talk to you anymore. This will be our last conversation."

Maybe it was an illusion, she seemed to see Gojo Satoru's shadow shaking.

"No need to pay back." His tone seemed to be gnashing his teeth, "I will not agree to the request to break up."

Leaving only this sentence, he turned and left, pulling the door hard.But when the door was about to close, he still chose to put his hand against the door and close it softly.Then, he left with unpleasant footsteps.

Qido raised his head and looked towards the direction outside the door.It listened carefully to the sound gradually going away, until it was too far away to hear it anymore, then lowered its head again, rolled its body into a ball, and still fell at Yeshi's feet, not wanting to leave for a moment.

56.

—January 2016, 1, Tokyo, low-rent apartment in Katsushika Ward—

The big dog curled up at the end of her bed with eyes closed, looking very peaceful, but his body had already turned cold, assimilated with the sub-zero air in January, and felt like a piece of ice.

She knew what it meant... no, she didn't know what was going on.

He vaguely remembered Cheetos jumping on her bed last night, something he hadn't done for a long time.She felt the presence of Qiduo, but she didn't think much about it, and she didn't do much, just indulged in a light sleep dream.

Then she woke up and was forced to confront the body of her pet dog, who had been dead for hours.

How did he die?Natural death?died of illness?Or some other way to die?

If it was a disease and died, what disease would it be?Is it too early for it, if it is a natural death?Is it because I didn't raise it well?Is it because I didn't notice the harbinger of this death?

her fault?her fault.

no idea.I can't think of the answer, and I dare not look for the answer.All she knew was that Cheetos was dead.She could only sit next to Chito's body, her dry eyes were sore from the cold wind that entered the room.

She thought that everything she spent with Cheetos would come to her mind, recalling the first time she took the leash from Daisuke, like a carefully edited montage.

But it didn't.

The brain is empty, and the heart is empty.She looked at the corpse, touched the cold fur, and her thoughts were occupied by another unrelated person-the father of her elementary school friend.

It was a man she had only met twice.

The first time we met was when I went to a friend's house on vacation, and when I entered the door, I happened to meet my friend's father who was going to sea.It was that trip to sea that caused him to encounter an unprecedented terrible storm, and he died at sea.

That was the closest she had been to dying as a young child, even though she hadn't attended her best friend's father's funeral at all.She just held the bouquet and looked at it from a distance for a while, and heard the mourning and crying surrounding the entire east side of the island.

The white flag fluttered in the sea breeze, and everyone in mourning clothes looked exactly the same, so they couldn't recognize who was who, and couldn't find any friends.They circled the coffin containing the corpse and walked slowly on the path near the sea.It takes three laps like this to bury him.

Everyone is sighing, such a young man really shouldn't die.Everyone says so.

So, Yezhi met his friend's father for the second time—he became a curse.

It's not a terrible curse, it's more like a collection of longings, a product born to echo the emotion of "he shouldn't die" in everyone's hearts.He walked along the coast, repeating the action of casting and collecting the net, without any intelligence at all, and he probably didn't realize what his existence meant.

Coincidentally, I don't even know.

But she still got rid of the curse.This is their second meeting.

Will Cheetos turn into a curse?Had the dead siblings turned into curses?

If it really turned into a curse, she should be able to see them one last time, although it would not be a happy reunion.

Eyes are still dry.She blinked hard, slowly moved out of bed, and walked towards the cabinet twistedly.She tried to find a blanket to cover Cheetos, but couldn't find any that fit.

She noticed that there was still an unopened cardboard box in the corner next to the cabinet.This is her luggage that the moving company brought from Gojo Wu's house, because she really thought it was troublesome to unpack the box, so she never unpacked the box.

Might be able to find something suitable from there.

She gently cut the tape with a knife.What was put in this box was just some ordinary clothes.

Old clothes are barely usable.she thinks.

At the bottom of the box, there was a neatly folded black thin sweater. The cuffs and shoulder width were too long, so you could tell it wasn't her size.

This is Gojo Satoru's clothes.

Why did his sweater end up in the cardboard box where it should have been? The answer to this question is no longer known, and she doesn't want to get to the bottom of it.She was tired, even numb, and didn't know what she was doing.

She put on Gojo Satoru's sweater, the overly long sleeves piled up layer after layer of folds at the wrist, the shoulder line almost collapsed to the elbow, and the other empty sleeve was hanging down.

Shizhi returned to the bed, lay beside Cheetos, embraced its cold and stiff body, and covered its face with his empty sleeves.as usual.

The familiar atmosphere remains on the knitted sweater, and everything seems to be in the past at this moment.

It's just that I'm a little lonelier than before.