mild compromise

For tail wine, sit on a chair and drink alone.

"Excuse me, are you alone?" Ten minutes later, a boy wearing a cashmere scarf walked up to Xiao Chenghao and smiled at him.

Xiao Chenghao nodded slightly.

"Then can I sit next to you?"

"You can do whatever you want."

The boy asked the bartender for a glass of the same cocktail as Xiao Chenghao, and spoke to Xiao Chenghao in a relaxed and natural tone.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" the boy asked bluntly.

This surprised Xiao Chenghao. Generally speaking, people would only ask him if he had a girlfriend, but the boy in front of him was the opposite.

The other party saw his thoughts from Xiao Chenghao's puzzled expression, and explained with a smile: "I am from this circle, so I always have a very keen intuition for this kind of thing, and it doesn't hurt to say something bluntly. Do you like boys?"

Xiao Chenghao didn't know whether he should answer the other party's question, but from the expression on his face, the boy had already received the answer.

"So what if you have a boyfriend?" Xiao Chenghao asked back.

The boy propped his chin and smiled, "If you have a boyfriend, then I won't bother you. After all, I'm not the kind of person who likes to meddle in other people's feelings."

"What if I say I don't?"

Xiao Chenghao originally thought that the other party would say, "Then we might as well make friends and get to know each other."

However, the boy said bluntly and rudely: "There are many empty rooms inside, we can go in and communicate in depth. I am 0, but if you want 1, I can also meet your needs."

Xiao Chenghao, who doesn't know much about the gay circle, doesn't quite understand what the 0 and 1 in the boy's mouth mean, but what is certain is that he knows that the boy wants to sleep with him.

The mobile phone in his pocket rang suddenly, Xiao Chenghao quickly took it out and took a look, it was Guan Meng calling.

"Excuse me, I'll go out and listen to the phone first."

Xiao Chenghao found a quiet place, pressed the answer button, and said "Hello" to the person on the other end.

"Brother Cheng Hao, where are you now?"

"Today's Christmas Eve, my roommate and I went to a party outside, how about you? Are you at home?"

"Yes, we have an exam tomorrow, and now I am reviewing in my room."

"Then why are you still calling me?"

Guan Meng hesitated a bit, "Well... I haven't chatted with you for a long time, and I suddenly want to call you. How are you doing?"

"It's pretty good. Apart from going to class every day, I go to the student union to handle affairs, or go out to work part-time."

"Oh, like this."

"If you have an exam tomorrow, go to review quickly. It's not too early, so go to bed early after reviewing." Xiao Chenghao urged, as if he didn't want to chat with him for too long, he made an excuse, "I My friend called me over there."

"Okay." Guan Meng was a little depressed, "Then hurry up and find your friend, let's talk next time when we have time."

Xiao Chenghao seemed to feel something vaguely, he asked Guan Meng: "Do you have anything else to tell me?"

"No, it's not really important, let's talk about it later."

When he was about to hang up, Guan Meng suddenly called him back, "Brother Cheng Hao, Merry Christmas."

Xiao Chenghao was silent for two seconds, and replied, "Merry Christmas."

After hanging up the line, Guan Meng sighed and lay down on the desk listlessly. Unwillingly, he hammered the tabletop with his fist, but it hurt his hand. He immediately rubbed it a few times, and then said to himself: "Why are you so ignorant?" use……"

Originally, he called Xiao Chenghao today, intending to confess his love to him, but when the words came to his lips, he couldn't speak because of nervousness, shyness and various reasons.

Guan Meng opened the drawer, took out a photo of himself and Xiao Chenghao when they went to Chiang Mai, and quickly put the troubles in his heart behind him.Forget it, there will still be a lot of opportunities in the future, he thought to himself, smiling and whispering to Xiao Chenghao in this picture: "Merry Christmas."

Back in front of the bar, Xiao Chenghao's heart changed, and he decided to accept the boy's invitation.

He wanted to let go of the feelings he shouldn't have for Guan Meng, but he didn't know what to do all the time, and he couldn't forget it. If this is the case, then use another person to transfer this feeling.

Before this, Xiao Chenghao had no sexual experience, and the only way for him to understand homosexuality was in those GVs.

Seeing that Xiao Chenghao's movements were a bit jerky, the boy asked, "Could it be that you haven't eaten meat before?"

"..."

Xiao Chenghao's silence corrected the other party's guess, but the boy didn't mind. He comforted Xiao Chenghao and said that everyone has a first time, so he guided Xiao Chenghao bit by bit.

"Would you rather be below or above?"

Xiao Chenghao thought for a while, "Above."

The boy nodded, took off his clothes, took out the lubricant he had prepared in advance, and graciously did the expansion work in front of Xiao Chenghao.

After everything was ready, the boy pulled Xiao Chenghao to him and sat on Xiao Chenghao's body.When he was about to let Xiao Chenghao go in, Xiao Chenghao stopped suddenly. At that moment, all he could think about was Guan Meng. When Meng went to Thailand to travel together, he remembered that Guan Meng had just called himself to say Merry Christmas...

Xiao Chenghao gently pushed the boy in front of him away, letting him get off his body.

"I'm sorry..." he said to the boy, "I can't seem to do it...can we call it a day?"

The boy didn't say anything, he sat quietly by the bedside, but he didn't feel angry at Xiao Chenghao's rejection, he glanced at Xiao Chenghao, took a pack of cigarettes from the table, took a Roots come out and ignite.

"You have someone you like, right?"

"..." Xiao Chenghao clenched his hands into fists, and silence was acknowledgment.

The other party continued to ask: "Since you have someone else in your heart, why do you still want to do it with me? You don't seem to be the kind of person who is fooling around with ideas."

Xiao Chenghao still didn't answer, and the boy didn't force himself to continue asking. He took the last puff of his cigarette, extinguished the butt, then pointed at Xiao Chenghao's bottom, then pointed at his own, and said, "Look at our The two of you are in this state, you have to solve it? Otherwise, how about we solve each other with our hands?"

When the opponent's hand touched him, Xiao Chenghao kept closing his eyes. He imagined that Guan Meng was right in front of him. He called Guan Meng's name over and over again. At the same time, he heard something deep inside him. The voice kept saying to him: You can't do this, you can't do this, this is wrong...

Yes, Guan Meng is the most beloved only son of his mentor and his wife. They have high hopes for him. He will have a beautiful life of his own in the future. His parents hope that he can marry the girl he likes, start a family, and give birth to a lovely girl. My child, live your life smoothly and happily.As for him, Guan Lianyi and Guo Ting regarded him as their own, and had already regarded him and Guan Meng as two brothers in their hearts. Brothers must never cross that boundary, otherwise he would be a sinner.

After the brief climax, instead of being satisfied, Xiao Chenghao's heart became even more empty, accompanied by endless regret.He felt sorry for his mentor and his wife, because he had failed them both of their expectations of him; he felt sorry for Guan Meng, because he had betrayed his love for Guan Meng.

In the darkness, the boy quietly put on his clothes and walked out of the room. When he left without saying a word, Xiao Chenghao sat by the bed alone, his eyes gradually turned red and tears overflowed, his heart had never tried It's not the kind of pain of the death of parents, nor the pain of being forced by life and having nowhere to go. It's a feeling that I have met the love of my life, but due to various reasons, I have to bury this feeling forever. His heartache is unbearable, and he cannot tell anyone, only he knows it alone.

For the rest of his life, Xiao Chenghao still couldn't let go of what happened that night. He had already forgotten the boy's name and what he looked like. He even forgot the whole process of them solving each other in the room. , but the pain and regret that day made him unforgettable.

ACT39

As early as a week ago, Guan Meng asked Xiao Chenghao if he was free on the 12th. That day was Xiao Chenghao's birthday. Guan Meng did not forget it, and Xiao Chenghao always remembered it.

"So are you going to treat me to dinner then?" Xiao Chenghao asked him with a smile.

"Then are you free?"

"I have to go to work during the day, but it's okay at night. What you said yourself will count."

"I haven't said that I want to invite you to dinner."

"Your expression betrays you. You obviously want to go on a date with me."

"What date? I just wanted to treat you to dinner." Guan Meng clarified for himself.

"Tsk tsk, I just said you wanted to invite me to dinner."

"You actually set me up!"

Xiao Chenghao didn't speak, and stretched out his hand to pinch his nose with a smile.

On the afternoon of the 12th, Guan Meng changed his clothes early at home and looked at the mirror for a long time. His collar was not turned up and his hair was neat. After everything was fine, he set off with satisfaction and ran to the coffee shop next to Xiao Chenghao’s company. Wait for him to get off work.

At around 6 o'clock in the evening, Xiao Chenghao came down from the company, and was about to ask Guan Meng where he wanted to take him for dinner, when his cell phone rang suddenly without knowing it.

It was the call from the assistant, and the assistant said in an extremely urgent tone that Xiao Chenghao forgot to sign a document before he left, and that document had to be delivered by courier today.