red dust under the lamp

The stronger the desire to express, the more difficult it is to express it in words.

Ning Jue left Cheng Jiaxi's place and lived her own life for three or two days. Because of her youth, even if she was very busy, she didn't save time for worrying. If I don't go to see Xie Yichen, should I make a phone call and explain it, and make up one or two excuses, rather than quietly, like leaving without saying goodbye.

It was this simple matter that troubled her for a week. She mustered up the courage to dial out the phone, but no one answered it, as if there was no one at home, and then it was all over. Ning Jue couldn't figure it out. Not face to face, she calls people a lot, and she has never been afraid of anyone.Why are you timid, why can't you put the words together?Is knowledge limited?Still feel ashamed?

God, where did this shame come from?She has always covered the floor and covered the sky, a woman who is still living as a bachelor, and has never been in a relationship with anyone... Even the woman in Fengshou Building, she is reluctant to miss her, fulfilling the other party's entrustment a little bit, and then she is alone .Suddenly began to feel guilty towards someone, Ning Jue was extremely vigilant.

The next day Xie Yichen called. It was not Mr. Jiang, but Ms. Xie.Miss Xie specially called the well-known Ning Jue to make an appointment for house cleaning.

"No rush, she can do it when she's not busy. Call ahead to confirm." Sister Lu pinched her throat to imitate Xie Yichen's voice, poked her face at the tip of Ning Jue's nose: "Professional level is okay."

The boss came to visit them, happened to hear about this, and praised Ning Jue: "Very customer-conscious, these will be your resources from now on."

resources... no...

Ning Jue confirmed that Xie Yichen did not want housekeeping services...

It is scheduled to come at two o'clock in the afternoon the next day.

As usual, I bought a copy of Nancheng Daily and put it under my arm. It is convenient to sit on the floor with old newspapers. She read them all the way, but didn’t remember a single word, so she had to fold them up and put them in her bag, and knocked on the door of Xie Yichen’s house. .

Xie Yichen opened the door for her personally.She heard the door knock, and then Ning Jue waited for a long time, the sound insulation was good, she imagined Xie Yichen leaning on crutches, moving slowly step by step, and she became more and more at a loss what to do.

The door opened, and Xie Yichen appeared gracefully. He leaned against the door and looked at her. He was not offensive, but he looked a little angry. After a while, he just looked at her lightly and opened his mouth——

Ning Jue was holding her backpack with her face down, but now she suddenly raised her head and reported her family name: "Hi, Miss Xie, Nancheng Housekeeping Service Company is here to serve you wholeheartedly..."

Xie Yichen swallowed back the original words and turned his head: "Well, come in."

Ning Jue stooped to put on the shoe covers.

The tip of the cane suddenly stopped in front of Ning Jue's feet. Following the metal object, following the brightly reflected speckled lights to look at Xie Yichen, from bottom to top, she felt that this was a somewhat humble posture, and suddenly stood up.

Xie Yichen was leaning against the wall with his back against the coat hanger, half a step away from her, thoughtful, hesitant to speak, and finally just looked at her lightly.

Ning Jue smiled at her.

Xie Yichen turned his head again, this time he didn't look back to wait for her, and sat down directly, put his crutches beside the wheelchair, pointed at Ning Jue with his back: "Can you help me clean the lampshade? And that sofa cover, the bed sheet..."

Ning Jue leaned on the handle of the wheelchair, dragged back half a step, and interrupted Xie Yichen's pointing.

"Going out for a walk?" Ning Jue asked.

With a wheelchair, it seems like returning to a certain familiar atmosphere.Behind the handle is her world, and the back rests on her soul.

After a moment of silence, Xie Yichen pushed the wheelchair out of her range by himself: "No need. By the way, you don't need to move anything in the bedroom, and other rooms will trouble you."

Ning Jue was working.

She wanted to see Xie Yichen, and when she saw it, she wanted to talk, what did she say?The emotion expressed is greater than the ability to express, she can't speak any words, her articulation is not very sharp, she patiently beats the manuscript in the fabric and detergent.

They are estranged from each other, yes, as time goes by, many old events are gradually forgotten, even if it is the past, Ning Jue is just an idle nanny.

After the belly draft was finished, she put away the dried fragrant sofa cover and seat cover and put them back one by one, putting her mind back to her heart. Xie Yichen seemed to be reading a book, and writing and drawing pictures, and words such as drama theory could be vaguely seen , is a world that Ning Jue doesn't know.

She went to take care of the flowers and plants everywhere. When she came back, Xie Yichen was holding a novel and occasionally raised his eyes. It seemed that he had finished his work. Ning Jue began to disturb her: "I'm done. I have to go. Before I go, Can I say something?"

Although it was a question, she didn't wait for Xie Yichen to answer. The desire to express was like a tide, and she couldn't restrain herself: "I left before, it was my fault. The first reason I left was because I knew you would go to the United States. I am nothing. , I don’t want to be left behind, even if you do everything decently, I don’t want to be chosen, and I don’t have the courage to raise my hand and say take me away, going abroad is not a trivial matter. Second, because of jealousy… I have always been a street gangster with no promise I'm glad you stood up, and I'm glad someone understands you, but I'm jealous of Jiang Wang, just... I don't know how to say it, I don't know how to say it after thinking about it for a long time, it's not perfunctory."

Xie Yichen was still reading.

"I apologize, but I don't ask for forgiveness." Ning Jue looked at Xie Yichen, feeling a little gloomy in her heart—she didn't want "me" to "me" to tell her own psychological activities, she wanted to say something else.

But without emptying herself, their relationship was estranged, and she couldn't greet each other pretending to be intimate.

"I want to analyze myself, but after thinking about it, the conclusion is that I'm crazy," Ning Jue sighed, "You can think whatever you want...I said, I want to see you, I came to see you, and I'm done—"

"You fart." Xie Yichen snapped the book and threw it on the sofa.

Ning Jue was startled.

"You came to see me? I begged you to come and see me... What about you, you said come, but you didn't come..." Xie Yichen lowered his voice, paused for a moment, then sat up straight suddenly, straightened himself up, The voice was calm: "Finished cleaning?"

"Of course not. I'm here to steal and play tricks. I don't do anything after earning money. I'm taking the face of my old acquaintances. I'm shamelessly dawdling around." Ning Jue began to say the same thing backwards, turning herself into a sly man. , But in the end, Xie Yichen didn't give Xie Yichen a chance to grit his teeth, and laughed by himself, "Why don't you understand... Even if it's not your business, my work is not unsatisfactory. If I don't do well, the boss will fire me, no It will be used to embarrass you in front of you."

Xie Yichen choked, what is meant by "even if it's not your business", it sounds tactful, upside down, Ning Jue expresses frankly on negative things, scolding himself is never polite, but when praising himself, he just makes twists and turns. To preface a harsh word.

It really hasn't changed at all, but it's a little gentler, and an explanation will be added.

Ning Jue said: "My appointment is almost here, I'll come over next time... I'm really too busy."

In fact, it's not that I'm too busy, it's that I put it on hold on purpose.

"Do you still want me to call to make an appointment next time?" Xie Yichen said.

"No need." Ning Jue smiled, clenched her bag tightly, anxiously thinking that she might have lied, but she still smiled on the surface, as if she had made some kind of promise.

Xie Yichen finally relaxed: "Take me for a walk next time."

Is there a next time?Ning Jue thought about it.She touched the handle of the wheelchair, leaned down and used her fingers to test the sensation of Xie Yichen's legs.

Xie Yichen lowered his head and smiled: "It's itchy, you're too light."

Ning Jue was genuinely happy for a moment, and squeezed Xie Yichen's ankle hard. The human body's texture, blood vessels, and bones were entwined together, and they were working vigorously, contracting, relaxing, and the elasticity and softness of the flesh made her feel alive. She finally relaxed and smiled. stand up.

"Will you dance afterwards?" Ning Jue asked.

Xie Yichen suddenly withdrew his foot, as if he had touched some sharp thorn, he retracted vigilantly, and only after a while did he relax slowly.

Ning Jue caressed Xie Yichen's knee blankly, leaned on her knee as if sitting at her feet, raised his face, thinking about something stupidly, stared at Xie Yichen's fingertips, and then looked at the soft white skin. legs, fingers on her knees.

"Are you still the White Lady?" Ning Jue asked again.

"What do you say?"

Ning Jue didn't come to a conclusion, she seemed to be on the stage, but also seemed to be off the stage, and her surroundings were blurred. She stared at the phantom white lady, and felt like a white lady. All her thoughts were chaotic. Fingers caressed Xie Yichen's knee, as if she could use Xie Yichen's legs to pass away from this world and ascend to immortality.

"What did I say? I just watched... I don't understand art..." Ning Jue got up sadly.

"Actually, I don't... think about these things much anymore," Xie Yichen raised his chin slightly, looked up at Ning Jue, opened the book, opened and closed it, and repeated, "Do you... like White Snake?"

"Then I can't become Xu Xian? No..." Ning Jue hurriedly packed up her things, "It's time, sign..."

Xie Yichen picked up the pen, and the ink slowly seeped out, printing three soft and powerful characters, and handing them back to Ning Jue.

But they didn't let go, the two of them were pulling a piece of paper, with the intention of cutting continuously.

"Remember to come next time." Xie Yichen reminded.

"I see." He didn't dare to agree.

She decided to leave Xie Yichen's world, what is it this time?Dodge?The words have been spoken, why do you want to hide?But Ning Jue felt that it was impossible to hide. Xie Yichen didn't need a nanny now, so what's the use of her?Now it's the sky and the ground, she still has Jiang Wang's secret in her heart, when facing Xie Yichen, there is no third person in her mind, once she looks away, something else will appear in her heart.

Just around the corner, full of heart, sour and unspeakable feelings.

how so?Can't she see Xie Yichen?It really is a gangster temper!Narrow-minded!shut up!Put on a smile!No emotions, no secrets!

Ning Jue folded up the list, opened the cloth bag, thought for a while, and finally pulled out a red leaf bookmark from the Nancheng Daily.

When we were in Pingdu, Ning Jue once picked up leaves with his heart in his heart, picked up all the way, and forgot Xie Yichen, who was unable to move at that time, outside... Ning Jue’s rare feeling of guilt came out, and he picked up the leaves and picked out a flower. , Press the plastic seal, and it will last for a month or two at most.

"You must come next time, some of my friends introduced you..." Xie Yichen reminded again softly.

When Ning Jue heard "some friends", the blinds in her heart flickered. In the end, she was sincerely happy for Xie Yichen, waved her hands, put her hands in her pockets, and left happily.

Xie Yichen was still watching her through the light yellow window, Ning Jue walked through the rose bush again and looked back at Xie Yichen.

Actually should hug.as farewell.

Jumping on the bus, she turned to Nancheng Daily to read, but couldn't read a single word, but under the cover of the newspaper, she found that there were two strange gazes sticking behind her back.