The author and protagonist HE [Transmigration Book]

dearest, dearest.

only.

Hua Feixue heard that qualifier.

When the soft but overly enthusiastic words fell silently, my heart trembled slightly.

For a moment, she even wanted to give up her plan to go to Qingyu Country.

It is enough to maintain the status quo.

There is no need to pursue those illusory pasts.

"But if you want to go, of course I will go with you." Xiao Xiao said, "Since Mr. Yan has already agreed, it doesn't hurt to go and have a look."

Hua Feixue recovered.

After all, a promise has been made, and it is not appropriate to backtrack, not to mention that there is nothing wrong with looking at it from a distance.

After all, it was also the place where Xiao Xiao was born.

Because of Mr. Yan's entrustment, Hua Feixue and Xiao Xiao left a little earlier than originally planned.

Mr. Yan has asked someone to find a servant who is willing to serve him. He is an orphan in the town. His life is difficult and he can barely survive by doing some physical work, so he doesn't mind leaving home with Mr. Yan.

A few people checked out early in the morning, and Mr. Yan said goodbye to the guys in the inn one by one.

The waiter in the shop hugged the cloth package that Mr. Yan gave him, his face was reddish, but he whispered a few auspicious words.

He secretly opened it earlier and found some gold, silver and jewelry inside. Mr. Yan said that he was grateful for his care during this time.

The shop clerk was a little embarrassed, but also felt that the things in his arms were hot, and wanted to push them back: "You should keep it for use on the road, isn't that country you mentioned is far away from here?"

Mr. Yan shook his head with a smile, saying that he should, but he didn't answer, and let the servant carry him out the door. He hired another carriage, which was very simple, and was only used for transportation.

Hua Feixue and Xiao Xiao were waiting for him outside.

Mr. Yan is responsible for guiding them.

"Please, everyone, take a detour from the west, and I will go to the medical hall to ask for some medicine."

As he spoke, he coughed.

He felt a little overwhelmed by the wind, and was afraid that he would not be able to wait to go back, so he wanted to ask for some medicine, at least to ensure that he could hang his life on the road.

The servant led the horse, Hua Feixue and Xiao Xiao followed, and walked in front of the clinic.

The doctor in the clinic knew Mr. Yan, and as soon as he looked up and saw him, he immediately greeted him, and didn't even want him to get out of the car. He just put a small stool in place to see him.

Mr. Yan begged again and again, even though the doctor was very disapproving of his travel, he finally compromised.

When he turned his head to ask the little apprentice to get the medicine, the doctor turned his eyes and saw two girls waiting on the other side.

Xiao Xiao stood behind Hua Feixue, and even squatted down a little to cover her figure.

The doctor was startled: "Didn't this girl come two days ago..."

Xiao Xiao coughed hard.

The doctor came back to his senses and realized that she didn't want to say anything, so he closed his mouth again, and just looked at her for a moment from the corner of his eye.

He looked alive and kicking, and he didn't look as pale as he did a few days ago.

What's more, I didn't see anything at the doctor's visit that day, and my pulse was even more stable than ordinary people.

Hua Feixue frowned slightly, and turned to look at Xiao Xiao: "Have you ever been to the medical clinic?"

Xiao Xiao blinked, her face full of innocence: "Passing by, just passing by."

Hua Feixue's expression seemed to say "Do I look so stupid".

Xiao Xiao kept silent, the doctor hesitated for a moment, and told Hua Feixue that her pulse was stable and there was nothing wrong with it.

But Hua Feixue couldn't completely relax because of this.

Walking on the road, when Hua Feixue repeatedly questioned her, Xiao Xiao changed her mind and said, "Well, actually, I'm going to ask the doctor if the two women can have children."

Hua Feixue froze, her face flushed slightly, but she didn't seem very happy: "Nonsense!"

Xiao Xiao approached cautiously and poked her cheek: "Are you really angry?"

Hua Feixue turned her head and ignored her.

Xiao Xiao sighed, thought for a while and said: "Actually, I just suffered from some wind and cold. After all, I endured too much before, and my body was still a bit too much to run around. The doctor asked me to rest for a few days and I'll be fine. I'm afraid you know that I That's why I didn't tell you."

Hua Feixue's face softened a little.

This reason sounds more normal.

But it was true as Xiao Xiao said, Hua Feixue couldn't help but feel a little bit of self-reproach when she heard the words.

Ever since she came out of the last town, Xiao Xiao was almost always taking care of her along the way.

Even if Xiao Xiao looks fine on the surface, it is impossible that he is not tired at all.

I still have to blame myself for not being careful enough.

Xiao Xiao caught a glimpse of her face, and with an expression of "as expected", he patted Hua Feixue's shoulder, and comforted him: "Don't think too much, isn't it all right now, I've recovered from such a long rest."

Hua Feixue reluctantly nodded.

At night, because they couldn't find the inn, they spent the night in the abandoned temple.

Half of the house has collapsed, and the night sky can be seen directly through a large hole.

The light reflected by half of the moon is very bright, and the cold moonlight shines on the ground through the hole in the roof, making it even colder.

Fortunately, there were still some old things like straw mats in the dilapidated temple. Mr. Yan and his servants were covered with thick clothes, curled up in a corner full of hay and straw mats, and kept warm by the fire.

Hua Feixue and Xiao Xiao sat on the doorstep to watch the night.

The coldness of the night was nothing to them, so they didn't deliberately light another fire.

Xiao Xiao leaned against the door frame and closed his eyes to rest.

Hua Feixue stared into the distance for a moment, as if seeing the shadow of the wind and snow in a trance, as if she had sat in front of this ruined temple at some time, wasting time.

It's just that she was alone at that time.

Hua Feixue caught a glimpse of Xiao Xiao sitting at the side from the corner of her eye, and suddenly woke up.

Maybe it's because the night in the wild is too lonely, and people can't help thinking about it.

Hua Feixue put those messy thoughts behind her, got up and walked back, walked back after a while, took a coat in her hand and put it on for Xiao Xiao.

Xiao Xiao opened one eye, smiled at her, and while pulling away a corner of his coat, making an invitation gesture, he asked, "Come together?"

Hua Feixue moved a little in the opposite direction, and responded with practical actions.

Xiao Xiao had an exaggerated disappointment on his face, but he didn't force it.

Before midnight, she half tricked and half coaxed Hua Feixue to go to rest first.

Hua Feixue didn't think much about it, but she was in the wild after all, she didn't sleep very soundly, and when she heard some strange movements while half asleep, she woke up immediately.

As soon as she looked up, she saw Xiao Xiao standing not far away, leaning on the wall and bending down, covering her mouth and coughing softly.

Although she tried not to make a sound, it was easy to tell that she was coughing badly.

Hua Feixue was startled, and quickly got up and walked over.

Before Xiao Xiao wanted to hide, she grabbed the other's hand suddenly.

Under the moonlight, those bloodstains were still dazzlingly red.

Xiao Xiao subconsciously wanted to smile at Hua Feixue, but couldn't control the itching in her throat, she turned her head to the side and coughed again.

Cough piercingly.

Hua Feixue couldn't utter a single word she wanted to reprimand and question, she was at a loss for a moment while holding Xiao Xiao's hand, and then suddenly remembered that she still had some pills with her.

Although I don't know what kind of disease Xiao Xiao is, but there are also people who claim to cure all diseases, which is better than nothing.

Hua Feixue's hand to take the medicine was trembling slightly, Xiao Xiao wanted to laugh, but couldn't, and grabbed her wrist with his backhand.

"I'm fine," she whispered.

I vomited blood, is this all right?

Hua Feixue pursed her lips, unable to speak.

Xiao Xiao's body has been surprisingly good since he was a child. He obviously came from a foreign country and was extremely afraid of the cold, but he never fell ill because of it. Even if he lay on the bed occasionally, he was injured due to cultivation or other accidents.

Could it be that he was injured internally when he caught the bandit before?

Hua Feixue recalled in a panic, but couldn't grasp any suspicious moment.

"The doctor also said that I'm fine." Xiao Xiao said, "The pulse is normal—"

Then she started coughing again.

Hua Feixue gradually felt that the blood in his body was starting to turn cold.

It is precisely because even the doctor can't detect the abnormality, so it is even more terrifying.

In this world, only doctors can cure diseases and save lives, but doctors can't save her, so who else can save her?

"... When did it start?" Hua Feixue asked her.

"These are the only two times when he vomited blood." Xiao Xiao said, "But the other symptoms...have appeared a long, long time ago."

Hua Feixue froze.

What do you mean by "had it long ago"?

Xiao Xiao leaned against the wall, looked up at the moonlight, the scattered stars were already very blurred, and the sounds in her ears were gradually replaced by humming.

It used to happen occasionally, but it's not as obvious as it is now——

Can't see clearly, can't hear clearly, but knows everything.

Like another pair of invisible eyes covering the whole world, she gradually "sees" that she is in a boxy, dark box.

The dark color in the box gradually expanded, and the boundary gradually became nothingness.

One day she will be completely locked in that chaos.

But her consciousness gradually became clear——

You are not of this world.

A part of your life will be integrated with the world to fill those gaps, and another part of your consciousness will be withdrawn, cut off, and left the world altogether.

From now on, there will be no such person as "Xiao Xiao" in this world.

Not even a trace of its existence will remain.

Including those extremely solemn promises she once made.

No one remembers, so naturally it is not a breach of promise.

...Is that the end?

Xiao Xiao slowly opened his eyes, Hua Feixue's face was in front of him, it was a little blurry, but gradually he could see it clearly.

The other party's face was full of panic, his eyes were slightly red, and he looked like he was about to cry.

Not to mention the distinct tremors in his hands.

She was afraid, afraid that Xiao Xiao would leave her, so she unconsciously exerted strength on her hand, which had reached the point where it would make people feel painful.

But Xiao Xiao didn't yell out a word of pain, instead he couldn't help laughing.

Look, she cares about you so much.

She may like you more than you think, or even love you.

But one day, you will disappear, disappear in this world, and also disappear in her memory.

She won't be smiling at you, crying at you, or holding your hand tightly.

Or one day her smile and her tears will be shown in front of another person who has nothing to do with you.

——That should have been "happiness" to her.

If you really love her, you should let her go, and don't let her indulge in the illusory illusion that will disappear one day.

The best thing to do is to keep her distance from the beginning, never cross that line, pretend to be a normal friend, and then at a certain point in life quietly withdraw.

She may be sad for a while, but she will not be desperate and painful because of it.

Ordinary friends can have tens of thousands, and if this one is gone, there will be another one, and that insignificant vacancy will soon be filled by others.

But there is only one place for a lover, and losing it means gouging out a piece of flesh and blood.

Even if she will forget this pain in the end.

But that wound still existed, still a symbol of hurt.

What's even more sad is that no one will know after the pain.

Xiao Xiao's eyes were like a dark abyss, she admitted that she had selfishness, even though she realized that she would disappear one day, she still took that step.

She had never thought about self-sacrifice and silent blessing.

She's not that generous.

At least he was never generous enough to actively push out the people he cherished and cared about.

"Feixue." Xiao Xiao stretched out his hand to wipe away the tears from the corners of Hua Feixue's eyes, his tone was soft, as if comforting, but his words were completely opposite, "Are you willing to go to hell with me?"

The author has something to say: dbq fell asleep while writing yesterday (covering his face...

I finished writing it today and reworked it, and there is another update a little later tonight

I feel that the main text is almost done. I should be able to finish the main text within five chapters. You can leave a message if you want to read anything outside the fan (except for things that jj doesn’t write). I’ll see how much I can write later. The full text will be finished before the end of the month ~