The Wind and Rain of the Red Chamber

I never thought that when my only son in this life asked me where his father was, I would feel so conflicted.

What hurt me the most all the time was that man. He occupies a very important position in my life. It's ridiculous that maybe I don't even have a little place in his heart.

I still clearly remember that I was taken to my cousin’s house in Gusu after I had finished observing my filial piety for my dead parents in my hometown. Before I get married, I will live happily in my cousin's house.

I don't know when the figure of my cousin began to linger in my heart.

Maybe it was when I hid alone and wept, and my cousin handed me the handkerchief tenderly;

Maybe it was when my cousin patiently enlightened me when I was in a bad mood;

Maybe it was when I saw my cousin and sister-in-law raising their eyebrows together, I felt a complex feeling of envy and jealousy in my heart.

At that time, I was so envious. It would be great if I was my cousin. I think at that time, I would pass out happily.

The cousin is from a big family in the capital, and she is well-bred and knowledgeable, which is beyond my reach. I don't know when, this kind of envy slowly sprouted and turned into jealousy and madness.

That night, I still remember it so far, but now it is no longer an unforgettable regret, but now I think of it, it is just an unforgettable pain. Only now do I know how outrageous my mistakes were at that time, and I regretted that mistake in the end It's just the future of himself and Chen'er.

On August [-]th, it was supposed to be a full moon night, but unfortunately, the weather was not so beautiful, and it turned out to be a strong wind and a torrential rain. As usual, I leaned outside my courtyard and walked towards my cousin in my cousin’s courtyard. Staggering, I thought to myself, this is probably because I came back from drinking outside, but it has nothing to do with me, my beautiful and virtuous cousin will take good care of her husband-in-law.

But looking at the figure of my cousin going away, I seem to remember that my cousin went to a local official's house for a banquet today. It rained so hard today, my cousin must have been stumbled. My heart seems to be a little active, and I seem to know that maybe my chance to get close to my cousin has come.

In this way, I came to my cousin's yard unexpectedly and saw that the house was empty. I knew that my cousin hadn't come back yet. Those little girls probably took the opportunity to hide. The house was very dark, so I tiptoed around She touched the side of the bed and looked at her sleeping cousin, feeling a little melancholy in her heart. If this person could wake up with her every day, she thought that she would die without regrets in this life.

vomit!

I didn't expect my cousin to vomit all over the floor, and even my body smelled so smoky, but I didn't feel sick, on the contrary, I even fetched water to clean up my cousin slowly.

When I took off my cousin's coat with trembling hands, I knew that my hands were shaking again, but my heart was jumping for joy. Just a little bit, I can touch the person I miss day and night.

"Min'er, you're back." I didn't expect my cousin to take me into his arms so suddenly.

At that time, I was so stupid, my cousin called my sister-in-law's name but did the same things with me. I thought I was smart since I was a child, but I was still so addicted to this illusion, cousin Very gentle, but thinking about it now, that gentleness must be for my cousin.

An hour later, I got up from the bed with a tired body. In fact, I also wanted to just watch over my cousin who I miss day and night, but I heard my cousin's voice outside. I don't know why, but I was I hope my cousin can accept me. I don't ask much, I just want to look at this person every day, but when my cousin looks at me, I know that this is impossible.

"Ru Shuang, I always thought you were a smart girl, but I didn't expect you to do such a thing!" I thought my cousin would be like other wives, since it will come naturally, why not make me an aunt, but my cousin's Every word and deed shows that she will not do that.

"Cousin, I can't do things by myself!" At that time, I was not reconciled. I stubbornly believed that I should get what I wanted, and I thought I could get it too.

"So what, who does he think you are? You know that well!" Although Jia Min was a little annoyed at her husband for doing such a thing, she loved him so much that she didn't want to blame him, so she put All the faults point to this cousin whom she doesn't like at all.

"I don't care, I'm already his, you can't deny that!" Although I knew I must be in a mess right now, I still didn't want to admit defeat.

"I didn't deny it!" Xu's cousin's aura was too strong, and I was defeated by her eyes, "But don't you think that with this method, you have a relationship with those low-rate aunts?" What a difference!"

"You!" I was trembling with anger from my cousin's words. Although my parents are gone, I am at least a decent daughter, and my parents left me a lot of property. Now I think about those people with me. Than, I felt an unprecedented humiliation.

"Am I not right?" I clearly remember that my cousin looked at me with contempt in her eyes, "I thought that even if you came from a businessman, your uncle and aunt are rich anyway, and you will raise your only one well no matter what. Daughter, I never thought you would have such a temper!"

"Can you keep your so-called love by relying on such indecent means? He is my husband, and I know who he loves better than anyone else!" I remember that when my cousin said this How confident.

In fact, I also know that my cousin begged for the emperor's gift of marriage after he was in the middle of the year, and it was only after ten miles of red makeup that he married his cousin home. The person who can make him give so much must be his beloved person, but at that time, I, Dazed by self-righteous love, he is so stubborn.

"I don't care, I will be my cousin's sister tomorrow morning!" I firmly believe that my cousin will be responsible for himself when he wakes up.

"Do you dare to gamble with me!"

"Just bet!" I knew my cousin would set me up again, but seeing her contemptuous eyes, my self-esteem that I didn't know where to hide came out again.

"It's quite simple!" The cousin smiled in the mood when she fulfilled her wish.

I suddenly regretted it a little. Did I act impulsively? I wanted to take back my decision.

"Regret? Still can't afford to gamble? Don't worry, as long as my husband has feelings for you, I can make the decision to let you be an equal wife. How about it? I will tell my husband the truth about what happened tonight. As long as he chooses you, I will let him immediately How about marrying you as a flat wife?"

Cousin sister-in-law is too tempting, so I agree.

Now I still think about whether I could live in my own world and live with a beautiful future if the hateful self-esteem did not come out, but there are no ifs in life.

I know my cousin must have told my cousin what happened last night, because the way he looked at me in the morning was so contradictory, with disappointment, disbelief, and a hint of anger and pity, but there was no emotion at all. .

"Ru Shuang, I know what happened last night, how can you?" As soon as my cousin said that, I knew I was wrong. This man who seems to me very responsible doesn't love me, no, I should say he He only loves his wife, and all his sense of responsibility and affection are given to his cousin who looks on coldly.

"Cousin, I love you, why can't you accept me!" I didn't give up, even though I was as smart as I already knew that in this game, although I hadn't made a move yet, my cousin's attitude had already doomed me to a complete defeat .

"If you love me, will I accept you? If there are many women who love me, will I take them into the mansion one by one?" Cousin, who is usually so gentle, is covered in frost at this moment. Can't help being a little scared.

"You go, I will arrange a good husband's house for you, and you can live a good life in the future!" I didn't expect that such words would come from the mouth of the stalwart man in my heart, "I will satisfy you whatever you want, I will Prepare you with ten miles of red makeup, so that no one will look down on you!"

"No, I don't need your pity." I can accept that my cousin doesn't love me, but I can't accept that he dismisses me like a beggar. I have already lost my virginity to him, so how can I marry someone? I can predict that the rest of my body will be Days are like years, so instead of this, I might as well turn around and leave.

I never thought that my whole life would be turned upside down in just one night. I didn't take a single stitch from the Lin Mansion, and I didn't even say goodbye to my aunt, so I left Gusu alone.

Apart from Gusu, the only place I am familiar with is Zhejiang, so I bought a few maids with money from my parents, and then went to Zhejiang. This trip will last my whole life.

I didn't expect that I would be pregnant with a child in just one night. I was at a loss and didn't know how to go on. I originally planned to open a small shop by myself and just end my life like this, but now God tells me that you are unmarried I was pregnant first, the first thing I felt was not joy, but fear, I was afraid that others would know that I was pregnant first when I was unmarried, I was afraid that I would live in the contempt of others, I have never regretted it before, why am I so stupid When it comes to doing such immoral things for a man who doesn't have me in his heart, sometimes I really want to ask myself, Yao Wushuang, are those things really what you did?

Now looking at my son who has grown up, I feel a little bit sad for a while, I shouldn't just leave him like this, but I can't do anything, the only thing I can do is let him find her biological father, just like this Is the choice really right?

I can no longer think about right and wrong, because I am powerless, no matter how reluctant I am, I can only let her go!

The author has something to say: I wrote this chapter, which is quite contradictory!

I was thinking what would I do if I were Yao Wushuang, who didn't do something that he regretted when he was young?Fortunately, Yao Wushuang is not a stalker, at least she still has a heart that knows how to let go, not torturing herself or others!

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