back to innocence

Fei Yizhen rarely reads entertainment magazines, so when the news came out, he didn't realize it.

It wasn't until he got up one morning and found reporters blocking the gate of the community that he realized that he was on the news again, and the headline was sensational.

An entertainment newspaper claimed that a mother, Ms. Shen, who did not want to be named, revealed that the author Chonghua was not only a homosexual, but also seduced his son, who was originally a heterosexual, and led him astray.The single mother narrated every word of blood and tears. The reporter used a very sympathetic tone to tell the history of blood and tears of her husband who died early and raised her only son alone, and criticized Chonghua.

Fei Yi really didn't realize that this person should be Chen Qiao until Ye Minghe took the initiative to send a text message and said "I'm sorry".

Fei Zhiming also had some guesses, so he called Fei Yizhen into the study and interrogated him severely.Chen Xueyan was ignorant of this, and kept asking Fei Yizhen who this person was anxiously...

When Ye Minghe returned home, he had a quarrel with Chen Qiao.He was really angry this time, and said many harsh words to Chen Qiao, but Chen Qiao remained unmoved, and said very resolutely: "Yes, I am ungrateful! But Ye Minghe, even if I am sorry to anyone, But I am worthy of you! Mom is doing it for your own good, so even if you look down on me, I just did it! And I don’t regret it!"

Ye Minghe felt unable to communicate with her.Chen Qiao said that she did it for the good of Ye Minghe, but Ye Minghe only felt that she was forcing herself, hurting herself, and then forcing him to hurt others.

Instead of arguing with Chen Qiao any longer, he turned around and walked towards the door, put on his sneakers, and prepared to go out.

Chen Qiao shouted: "Where are you going!?"

Ye Minghe replied calmly: "I'm going to explain the facts. I can't let Fei Yizhen bear the blame that has nothing to do with him."

Chen Qiao resented Fei Yizhen to the extreme, she had no idea how her well-behaved and obedient son would be hooked up by a man to do so many things against her, and she would stand up for him and take the responsibility on herself.

Ye Minghe went out in a hurry, got on his bike and left without looking back, Chen Qiao chased after him and screamed desperately, but he couldn't come back.

Chen Qiao's heart was empty, thinking of the consequences of his son Xuancheng's homosexual image being exposed, he suddenly let out a burst of sobs.

She thought, can't let this happen.

She gazed at Ye Zhaowen's portrait with tears streaming down her face, and made up her mind.

Ye Minghe called to check the phone numbers of magazines and news agencies that could break the news, but the communication was not very smooth.He also tried to knock on the door directly at the news reporter station in the city, but he couldn't find the person he was looking for.

Finally, he had an idea in his mind and rushed to Fei Yizhen's house.

He was annoyed why he didn't think that there would definitely be many reporters gathered in front of Fei Yizhen's house at this time.

Fei Yizhen's home is not close, and Ye Minghe basically has to cross more than half of the urban area from departure to arrival.After finally reaching the ground, his phone rang.Seeing that it was his mother's phone number, Ye Minghe wanted not to answer it at first, but after hesitating for a while, he still picked it up.

However, what came out of the phone was not Chen Qiao's voice, but the anxious voice of the neighbor's aunt: "Minghe! Where are you!? Something happened to your mother!"

Chen Qiao seemed to have fallen into an old yellowed dream.

The dream seemed to be more than 20 years ago, and the memory was as vivid as if she was still living at the age when the years were like blooming flowers. She held Ye Zhaowen's hand and ran like running for her life.

There are no three or two pieces of luggage, and even the money for the tractor ride is counted from the steel coins in the pocket.

At that time, they didn't know where the future was, they only knew that if the two of them were together, they would dare to go anywhere.Chen Qiao has never been so reckless, and has never been so brave.

The golden rice is like a golden lake rippling on the field, and the blue sky with a hint of coldness is boundless, as vast as no limit.

Under this vast sky, there is no place that belongs to them.

But the clasped hands made her believe that they could build a home with him wherever they went.

More than a year later she gave birth to a boy in the old hospital near the rental house.

Seven catties six taels, healthy and strong.

The man's joyful eyes were as bright as the sun in her eyes.He gently showed her the little monkey-like child: he had a thick head and a tiger brain, and his skin was black and wrinkled, but he was the most beautiful child she had ever seen.

Cuter than anyone else.

She thought that such happiness would last her whole life.

She raised her head and wanted to say something to the man, but she couldn't remember what she wanted to say.

Later, the child grew up slowly, toddling, murmuring, smart and cute.The man pinned all his dreams on him.They teach the child to write, count, and draw by hand, hoping that one day when he grows up, he will have everything they ever expected but never had.

Later, they got their own house. Although the work was hard, Chen Qiao was full of hope for the future.

She once felt that she was the happiest woman in the world.

What broke such a happy day?

On the day when the news of Ye Zhaowen's accident came, she thought that someone had played a nasty joke on her.The joke was too nasty, so she made a face and tried hard to respond with a smile but couldn't.After the signal light in the hospital went out, the doctor's every step was on her heartstrings, until he shook his head lightly...

Chen Qiao no longer remembered whether she passed out or not.

During the days of the funeral, she kept guarding the coffin and refused to leave.She didn't believe that Ye Zhaowen was dead, she cried for several days, crying exhausted.The guests lamented what would happen to Ye Zhaowen's death leaving orphans and widowed mothers, and then tried to comfort her with incoherent words, but she couldn't listen to anything.

All the sounds reached her ears, as if they had become a buzzing noise mixed together.

She stood in front of Ye Zhaowen's old desk, looked at the sticky notes on the wall, and flipped through the reading notes that Ye Zhaowen had made one by one. Every time she turned a page, she kept crying.Seeing WH Auden's "Funeral Blues" and the verses that Ye Zhaowen clumsily translated stroke by stroke when he was clumsily learning English by himself, Chen Qiao finally couldn't help crying.

Stopall the clocks, cutoffthetelephone, stop the clock, cut off the communication...

... Letaeroplanes circle moaning overhead, let the plane hover over the sky whimpering Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead. Send this message "he is dead" ...

…HewasmyNorth, mySouth, myEasta, he is my north and south things MywweekandmySundayrest, my year round Mynoon, mymidnight, mytalk, mysong; my sunrise and sunset, language singing Ithoughtthatlovewouldlastforever: Iwaswrong. I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out everyone; the stars no longer need to exist: let them go out Packupthemoonanddismahesun; put away the moon, expel the sunPourawaytheoandsweepupthewood; drain the sea water, sweep away the forest For nothingnoweveretoanygood. Because this world no longer has any meaningChen Qiao cried heartbreakingly, There is no other moment where the poet's feelings can be understood like this.This was the most vulnerable and painful day in her life, every moment she wished she could leave with Ye Zhaowen.She stood in front of the coffin, unable to eat, and every time she barely took a few bites, she began to choke up and feel nauseated.Perhaps it was because of her own desire to die, so her body organs responded naturally.

She stood guard in front of the coffin in the middle of the night, and in the half-dream and half-awake state, she always hallucinated that Ye Zhaowen came back as something else, such as a ghost or something.She kept having hallucinations, feeling that Ye Zhaowen's cold body would suddenly warm up or move.

She didn't know how long she maintained this state, until the six-year-old Ye Minghe cried and grabbed her skirt, raised a tear-stained face and shouted something to her.

It took her a lot of effort to hear clearly that Ye Minghe called "Mom".

The little Ye Minghe stood beside her, his eyes were swollen like two walnuts, and the clothes on his body were crumpled, the same one Ye Zhaowen wore before his accident.He stood there bewildered, with a face similar to Ye Zhaowen's, looking at Chen Qiao with anxiety.

All of Chen Qiao's impulses towards death receded like a tide at this moment and disappeared.The voice heard in the ears gradually became clearer, and I heard Ye Minghe's crying and nervous "Mom" clearly.

Those little hands tightly grasping Chen Qiao's skirt brought her back to the world.

The child was so young that he had already lost his father.He is the crystallization of Chen Qiao and Ye Zhaowen's love, the integration of all their beautiful feelings and wishes, how could Chen Qiao have the heart to keep him and let him stumble in this world from now on?

Chen Qiao finally woke up from the pain and sorrow, knowing that she had to cheer up, even if it was just for the child in her arms.

Even if there will be no one to rely on in the future, she has decided to use one person's shoulders to prop up the sky that was once supported by two people, and do her best to raise this child well.

Let him be happy, let him be happy, let him grow up without any regrets like Ye Zhaowen expected.

Chen Qiao knew that she wasn't doing very well.

Her abilities are limited after all.She didn't let him grow up in good clothes and carefree, but because of the hardships of life, Ye Minghe became mature, sensible and skilled at housework early.

But she did try her best.

She worked hard to bring up Ye Minghe by herself, and more than once someone in the neighborhood persuaded her to remarry, saying that it was too difficult for her to live alone with a child, but she refused with a smile.

In Chen Qiao's life, the happiest days were only a short period of seven years, but she felt that she had lived her whole life relying on these memories.

Chen Qiao suddenly remembered what she wanted to say to Ye Zhaowen.

She wanted to say: I have never regretted marrying you.Not in this lifetime.

Fortunately, Ye Minghe grew up as she expected.

Excellent, sensible, intelligent, capable.

How nice it would be if this continued like this.

He will grow up as she expected, get married and start a business, and have a pair of lively and bright children... Ye Zhaowen will also see that he has a pair of lovely grandchildren in the sky, and see his flesh and blood, which will be passed down forever.

The author has something to say: I don't know if I will write a story similar to this article, but if I will, it will be a long time later.I buried a lot of foreshadowing, voice-overs, and hints in this story from beginning to end, but it seems that not many people have seen it (or not? Such as the Rainbow Club, the gender pride flag, and WHAuden in this chapter).It was only now that I realized that I had written an article that was not very suitable for the style of Internet articles... I know that I was a little late, and the next article should probably adjust the content and rhythm.I guess I will try different themes in the next article, and I will take a vaccination here first, although I think many people will still abandon me by then.