[Rebirth] King of Theater

The food column that Al stumbled on went viral.

This may be entirely due to his too clear perspective on the problem.

A normal food columnist will always start from the perspective of food, talking about which home-cooked dishes are delicious, which restaurant has which signature dishes, what is the history of such and such food, such and such ingredients are very precious and so on.

However, Al didn't understand food at all, no matter in his previous life or in this life, he only knew how to eat to fill his stomach more easily.

So, from the very beginning, he wanted to ask Randy for help. After all, although someone occasionally deliberately made some things that look bad, but in general, he was learning cooking after all. It is said that the basic course His academic performance is still very good. Moreover, he wandered around with Matt in the early years, and he ate a lot of delicious food from all over the world, so he has seen a lot.

But it's a pity...

Just as some people don’t need a reason to like food, there are also some people who naturally lack the corresponding enthusiasm for food, and Al belongs to the latter category.He occasionally divides food into delicious and bad food, but most of the time, he doesn't deliberately look for delicious food everywhere, but just regards it as a necessity for survival.

After Randy patiently explained a bunch of things in detail, and described all kinds of delicious things in hype...

The conclusion he came to was: "Forget it, I can't do it, I'd better write according to my own ideas."

So, let’s start writing directly from the restaurants I ate at.

Then, all of them are called No.1, and the whole meal process is narrated in the form of short stories.

Aside from the first 'Bring Your Own Apollo' joke, there's...

Well, for example, pan-fried chicken drumsticks.

[I followed Mr. Curtis and they walked into a high-end restaurant, and the waiters in the restaurant were all dressed better than me. ]

[The signature dish of this restaurant is pan-fried chicken thigh, and the menu price is xxx. If it was four or five years ago, I might have to save a month's salary without eating or drinking to eat it. ]

[But everyone says it's good, well, for good food. ]

[But when it was served, I was stunned!On the round and large snow-white dinner plate, the chicken leg cut into small pieces is lying alone in the middle, surrounded by a pile of strong vegetable leaves, weak, pitiful, and helpless...]

[Mr. Curtis entertained me enthusiastically: "Don't wait for me, you eat first, eat quickly."]

[I drank a glass of water pretending to be thirsty, only resisting the urge to swallow it in three gulps, then, in order not to be rude, or appear too hungry, I began to drink water frequently, take a sip of water, and eat a small piece of meat ...]

[So, please don’t ask me if the pan-fried chicken thigh is delicious! ]

[I just want to know one thing - where is the toilet? ]

I am ashamed to say that this article was read by Mr. Curtis...

One day at lunch, the old gentleman ordered his servants to serve Al a large plate of chicken drumsticks, and greeted him warmly: "Come here, I'll give you all to eat, this time you don't need to drink water..."

In addition, there is steak.

[…I couldn't help but ran to the manager of the restaurant and asked: "Why is your steak so expensive? How is it different from ordinary steak?"]

[The manager told me eloquently: "You don't know, sir. Our cattle are carefully selected and raised carefully. The whole process may be more complicated than the selection of women by the Eastern Emperor. First, It is necessary to ensure the breed of cattle, for example, Australian Wagyu cattle are oily and fat to eat, and Angus cattle are more chewy; then, in the process of raising these cattle, in order to ensure that they grow strong, they must also be provided with good quality cattle. The food they eat. Generally speaking, this is particular, the cows fed with grain (including corn) are fatter, and the cows that are put on the pasture to eat fresh pasture will be leaner; finally, we will play music to them regularly, to Let their souls find peace...]

[I was very surprised: "You still play music to the cow?"]

[Mr. Manager talked eloquently: "Yes, for example, in spring, we will play Mozart's "The Marriage of Figaro" for them; when they are slaughtered, we will also play "Requiem." ]

[I asked curiously: "Do cows understand?"]

[Mr. Manager swears: "They are very happy, happy and relaxed, and their hobbies are different. Some cows like to listen to concertos, and some cows like to listen to serenades."]

[I suddenly realized: "Okay, I finally understand how expensive this steak is!"]

[Mr. Manager said with relief: "It's good that you understand, we have really put in countless efforts..."]

[I hurriedly interrupted him: "No, what I understand is that... celebrities will sell very expensive no matter what their merchandise is. By the way, have you paid Mozart copyright fees?"]

[Mr. Manager stops talking. ]

[He looks at me like a cow that doesn't understand, and refuses to continue talking with me. ]

[So please don't ask me if the steak is good. ]

[Anyway, when I eat, my mind is full of Mozart!Mozart!Mozart! ]

Seriously, readers had a blast.

Before this, they may not have seen such an easy-to-understand and plain (nonsense) food review, or in other words, it is not a review at all, but a small life story.

Previous food reviews always talk about heat, temperature, seasoning... Alas, it's too obscure!

Except for real gourmet lovers and those gourmet workers, who is in the mood to study one by one?

On the contrary, what Al writes is suitable for all ages.

Moreover, he is used to collecting materials from around him. If you look for the restaurants mentioned in the column carefully, you can always find them, and most of them are not particularly expensive restaurants. It's too troublesome, anyone can go to a restaurant for a meal.In this way, virtually added a lot of fun to everyone.

So, a certain western restaurant met a customer who brought their own bread (for fear that it would not be enough), came to order pan-fried chicken drumsticks, and asked a question in advance, "Where is your toilet?" with a smile;

The head chef of another western restaurant received such a request: "For a steak, you can make it whatever you want, but it must be the beef of a cow that eats grain feed and likes to listen to Mozart concertos."

"...What do you like to hear?"

"I like to listen to Mozart concertos, piano concertos, violin concertos, flute concertos, whatever, I'm not picky."

"..."

This has brought a lot of trouble to those restaurants.

Although an increase in customer traffic is a good thing, it would be too embarrassing if the guests demanded too much.

For a while, letters of protest from many restaurants were sent to the newspaper, demanding the cancellation of Al's food column.

The stories, they claimed, were so amateurish, how could an amateur edit a food column?Are professionals dead?This is not acceptable, it is an insult to the gastronomic world.

Unfortunately, compared with the huge number of letters from readers urging Al 'to write more, or suggesting that he have more time to go out and visit restaurants everywhere', it is just a drop in the bucket.

The newspaper office laughed off the protest letters and threw them all into the trash can.

Turning their heads, they continued to urge Al to hand in the new manuscript quickly.

Randy is also about to die laughing at Al.

Now he has become a loyal reader of the food column. He takes a notebook to make newspaper clippings all day long, and runs over from time to time, eagerly asking: "Did you really ask that lobby manager why steak is so expensive? Let Mozart go?"

Al replied: "It's true, I'm all recorded facts."

Then, he said with a little dejection: "But I found out later that people were joking and teasing me. How stupid I was. I believed it and wrote it in the newspaper. Oh, I can't do it." Come to eat, probably many people are laughing at me."

Randy was a little surprised: "Listen to you, is there a follow-up?"

"Yes, the lobby manager of that restaurant came to find me on purpose. After searching for a lot of places, he finally blocked me at the entrance of the theater." Al explained unhappily.

"Tell me, tell me, I'm so curious."

"He asked me to clarify for their restaurant because..."

[Mr. Sylvie, I just made a little joke with you, why do you want to retaliate against me like this? ]

[Revenge, I don't have it? ]

[Now everyone who orders steak in the store must add that they must have listened to Mozart symphonies, sonatas, and serenades. ]

[Uh... is there something wrong? ]

[Excuse me, where can I find cattle for them? ]

[It was you who told me that all your cows listen to Mozart. ]

[Maybe I heard it! ]

[You say maybe? ]

[what's wrong with you?I blew it casually, and you took it seriously!Moreover, maybe it was listening to Mozart, but who would specifically record what the cow listened to?As a result, God, we don't know how to respond to the requests of dining guests after you write it like this. ]

[You, you can just give them a copy? ]

[That's cheating, I made a little joke with you, but I swear to God I'm a man of integrity and faith. ]

[......]

Randy couldn't help asking, "Have you clarified?"

Al said dejectedly: "Of course, I told the readers the next day that the Mozart cow I mentioned before was just a joke. However, everyone seems to ignore my clarification..."

Randy was rocking back and forth laughing.

Al was a little annoyed: "Stop laughing, why are you still laughing?"

Randy reached out and cupped his face, and kissed him deeply: "Because I love you."

The author has something to say:

PS. I forgot to mention the time as I was writing. The rehearsal of "Lust" took more than half a year. I only described the first performance of the performance, but the follow-up is a tour of many months. When the curtain is completely over, Al will be about 15 years old. Later, he went to school to write novels, and "Dream" was also queued intermittently for a year. Al is now almost 17 years old, and Randy is two years older than him.