evil sea tide

When Yang Anqing woke up, what caught his eyes was the familiar white ceiling and beige ceiling lamp, which made him think that this was an ordinary morning, so he started the day with a stretch, but who would have thought that just lifting his hand When I got up, I immediately shrank into a ball like a shrimp—"I...fuck..."

Damn, why does it hurt so much!

It was only now that he remembered what happened last night. In fact, his memory only stayed in the first two hours, and he seemed to pass out immediately afterwards, but the last scene before closing his eyes was Song Jue lying on his back. The body is constantly "working".

Since leaving Song Jue, Yang Anqing's emotional life has been empty for 11 years. This kind of emptiness is not only spiritual, but also physical. When the gate was opened last night, he couldn't hold it anymore.Although Song Jue took the lead first, but later on, his performance was no more reserved than Song Jue's, as if he wanted to make up for what he hadn't done in the past 11 years overnight.

From the place that was ashamed to speak, there was a constant dull pain. Not only that, but the whole body was as if it was disassembled and reassembled, it was so sore.

Is this the end of excessive indulgence...Last night, he experienced several orgasms that he couldn't even count. Just remembering each time made him feel like he was dying, and his eyes were blank.Song Jue's strong and sturdy body savagely attacked the city on him, making him seem to be no longer himself, and the sound of the sound almost toppled the roof.

This time it's really over... You shouldn't be drinking... Yang Anqing lay on the bed with his limbs open like a dead fish, staring at the ceiling in a daze.He touched the other side of the bed, and then he remembered, where did the other male lead in the drunken passion play go?

The mattress beside him was cold, without any temperature, indicating that he had been away for a while.

Bastard Song Jue, where did you go?Run when you're done?

Although he was cursing, he was actually thankful for Song Jue's ruthless act of pulling dick. It happened that he was not around, otherwise he really didn't know how to face him, it was too embarrassing.

As if hearing his inner voice, there was a sound of opening the door, and then Song Jue, who was wearing a windbreaker, appeared at the door. Yang Anqing didn't know where to hide, so she just buried her head in the quilt and pretended to be asleep.

He covered his head with the quilt, and heard the rustling sound of undressing, and then a pair of hands reached under the quilt, but stopped halfway through.

Yang Anqing didn't know what kind of medicine was sold in Song Jue's gourd, so she wanted to secretly open her eyes to take a look, but she just met Song Jue's smiling eyes.

"Are you awake?" Song Jue had already taken off his coat. He only had a dark gray sweater on his body. He looked handsome and extraordinary, without any signs of "fucking" overwork.In contrast, Yang Anqing's situation is much more tragic.

Yang Anqing's first reaction was to quickly retract his head under the quilt, but after thinking about it, he had done everything anyway, so why should he be afraid?So he pulled down the corner of the quilt, and said with an unnatural expression: "Mmm..."

At this time, Song Jue took his hands out of the quilt, rubbed them together, and then cautiously poked in again, and then he directly touched Yang Anqing's skin.

His hands are still a little cool, but they don't make people feel cold. Yang Anqing suddenly understood his intention of doing this, and was somewhat moved.However, he still felt awkward being touched by him while awake, so he twisted his body to the other side of the bed, avoiding his hand.

"Anqing, don't hide, let me see." Song Jue simply climbed onto the bed, hugged Yang Anqing into his arms, and groped directly down with one hand.

"Song Jue, let me go, what are you going to do?" Yang Anqing struggled to escape as if she had been electrocuted, but was restrained by Song Jue's hands around her waist.

"Don't move, I just want to see what's going on with you. I cleaned it up for you last night. There was no bleeding, but it was still a little red and swollen. Today I bought anti-inflammatory medicine and will wipe it on for you." Song Jue suddenly remembered Thinking of Yang Anqing a few hours ago, he was so enthusiastic and active, he hooked his waist firmly with a pair of slender legs, and made a nice sound from his mouth, which made him sink deeply.But the sober Yang Anqing was resistant to him, and even rejected his kindness. This realization made Song Jue feel a little frustrated. It seemed that his thinking was too simple, and it would take a long time to completely change his mind. It was just an accident.

But he is extremely grateful for this accident. He has endured it for too long. He faces Yang Anqing every day. His body is on the verge of exploding at any time. It gave him the opportunity to take advantage of it, so that he did not do something irreversible.

After hearing his words, Yang Anqing stopped struggling, but when he thought of showing him there in broad daylight, he panicked for a while, even during their sweetest time, Song Jue never did it for him this kind of thing.The Song Jue now is completely different from the Song Jue at that time, he is so tender and affectionate that Yang Anqing almost doesn't know him anymore.

But he is indeed Song Jue. No matter what, the domineering strength in his bones cannot be changed. For example, even though he is coaxing him with a soft voice, the movements of his hands have not relaxed at all, and they are still firmly encircling him. he.

"I'm fine, let me do it myself." Yang Anqing took the tube of potion from Song Jue's hand, then kicked him a few times, "Get out."

But Song Jue threw him on the bed and kissed him like a giant long-haired dog. Yang Anqing scolded while hiding, "What the hell are you doing!"

"Anqing, I'm so happy, I've never been so happy!" Song Jue was so excited that his whole body was shaking, God knows how happy he was last night, while his body was satisfied, his heart that had been barren for a long time was finally Having found the direction, he no longer felt like standing on the top of a cliff, but stood firmly on the ground.

"I used to be an asshole, but I won't make that kind of mistake again. The years without you are meaningless for me to live. I love you, accept me Anqing, stay with me, let me take care of you and Yangyang Forever!" This sentence had been buried in his heart for many years, and now he finally summoned up the courage to say it.

Yang Anqing was shocked by Song Jue's sudden confession. It is undeniable that at this moment, his heart was beating like a drum, and even his breathing became short of breath.I thought he would no longer be tempted by anyone, especially Song Jue, but now he can't deceive himself.Even when he was making love, his mind was only filled with lust, and he had no feeling of heartbeat at all, but at this moment, he had a new feeling for Song Jue, and his heart was sour but slightly sweet, just like 18 years ago The excitement in his heart when he saw Song Jue for the first time.

"You, you go out first, I'll think about it..."

Yang Anqing's mind is like a mess now, too many things have happened between them, how easy is it to restore the previous relationship?At this moment Yang Anqing suddenly calmed down, forming a sharp contrast with the ecstatic Song Jue.

Looking at his calm expression, the ecstasy on Song Jue's face gradually receded. He was too impatient. He had clearly decided to guard him for the rest of his life, so why rush at this moment.He let go of Yang Anqing, got off the bed, and said to him: "Then you have a good rest, I put breakfast in the dining room, Yang Yang also sent to school, I... come to see you in the evening..."

Song Jue walked out of Yang Anqing's bedroom, his back looked lonely, which made Yang Anqing's heart twitch.

What to do... accept or reject?

The two choices are equally difficult, and the risk is too great to accept. He cannot be sure that Song Jue will be like this for the rest of his life. If he relapses, he will definitely not be able to bear the blow again.Rejection sounds much simpler, but seeing the deep disappointment in Song Jue's eyes, he couldn't say anything when the words came to his lips.

Yang Anqing fell into a dilemma, because she was so entangled in the choice between the two that she was frequently distracted even when she was going to work.Since the two had a relationship again, he couldn't pretend that nothing had happened and get along with him calmly. He began to deliberately alienate Song Jue, except when Yang Yang was present, he almost never got along with him alone.

He needs time to calm down and think about his relationship with Song Jue.It is impossible for them to be like this for the rest of their lives. Family members are not like others, friends are not like friends, and lovers are not like lovers. Where they will go depends entirely on his answer.

His reaction was beyond Song Jue's prediction. While sad, he chose to respect Yang Anqing and gave him space to think about it.He is waiting for an answer, ascend to heaven or fall into hell forever.

Yang Anqing has a problem, that is, when he is in trouble, he likes to use procrastination and evasion to escape. It is precisely because of this that when he learns that Song Jue is cheating, he will use self-deception to comfort himself, as long as they are still together , everything will be fine.Such actions fueled Song Jue's viciousness and ultimately made him lose his dignity.People say that you can gain wisdom by eating a ditch, but at this time, Yang Anqing's old problem happened again. No matter whether he accepted or rejected him, he couldn't find enough reasons, so he simply procrastinated until more than a month passed. One incident completely changed the state of the cold war between him and Song Jue.

It was a sunny morning, Yang Anqing, who had slept soundly all night, woke up refreshed, and planned to enjoy the breakfast Song Jue had prepared for him after washing up.But as soon as the lid of the thermos was lifted, a strong aroma came out. It was a bowl of seafood porridge rich in ingredients, both in color and aroma, which made people's index fingers move.But Yang Anqing's reaction was very strange. The delicious smell made him feel nauseous for a while, and he almost vomited it out on the spot.

He hurried to the bathroom to suppress the nausea in his stomach with a mouthwash.When he got a little more comfortable, he suddenly found that this feeling was very familiar, as if it was like this when he was pregnant with Yang Yang many years ago... Recently, he is really lethargic, his appetite fluctuates, and he gets tired easily. All these symptoms are telling a fact: he has it again.

Calculated from the time he had sex with Song Jue, nearly two months have passed, and it is indeed time for a reaction... No, not necessarily!

Yang Anqing forced himself to calm down. This was just his guess, and he didn't need to be so flustered before he was sure.At this time, the first thing he thought of was Jiang Baicao, so he immediately called him and planned to visit him at night.

On this day, he was in a state of panic. He made several mistakes at work, and accidentally spilled coffee on the client list, which caused a rush.As soon as it was time to get off work, he hurriedly drove to Jiang Baicao's place.

He was lying on the medical bed with his fists tightly pressed to his chest, looking very nervous. Jiang Baicao sat aside, carefully studying the picture on the screen.After a while, he put the printed B-ultrasound picture in front of Yang Anqing, and said happily: "Brother Yang, congratulations! You have it again!"

Yang Anqing's brain froze directly, watching the B-ultrasound picture, the soul flew into the sky, and he didn't come back to his senses for a long time.

His reaction was beyond Jiang Baicao's expectation, he shook his hand in front of Yang Anqing and said, "Brother Yang, Brother Yang?"

Does that mean fainting with joy?Jiang Baicao thought to himself, he knows that Yang Yang's father is back and is pursuing Brother Yang fiercely. This child should be his, so Brother Yang should be happy. What makes people happier than adding a new baby to a family reunion ?

Yang Anqing was brought back to his sanity by him, grabbed the b-ultrasound picture and asked: "Didn't it be said that it is difficult for men from the Jing clan to conceive? I have been with him for six years and I only had a yang-yang. How could I get pregnant at once?"

Jiang Baicao was startled for a moment, and then smiled "I understand". Yang Anqing was so ashamed that she wanted Gan Jingzi to find a hole in the ground and crawl into it.Forget about Lao Mu Huaizhu, and let go of such a private matter, his old face is completely humiliated.

Jiang Baicao found out his embarrassment, and comforted him, saying, "It's just a common phenomenon that it is difficult for Jing people to conceive. Although cases of pregnancy are rare, they do happen, so there is nothing strange about it, and you should be happy."

"I'm almost dying of worry, I'm so happy..." Yang Anqing hugged her head in frustration and let out a sigh.He and Jiang Baicao have been hypocritical for more than ten years, and they are very familiar with each other, and they will always tell each other what is on their minds.

"Ah? What are you worrying about? How wonderful it is to have a child!" He thought, "If you don't know who to have a baby with, why do all these people who have a partner and succeed in pregnancy come to stimulate him one by one? What kind of morals is this? How about a way out!

Yang Anqing simply told him about his relationship with Song Jue. He is now looking for someone to discuss with. Jiang Baicao has seen many couples break up and reunite, so he may be able to give him some useful advice.

Jiang Baicao sat beside him, and after hearing this story, his heart was greatly touched.Every same-sex couple has to go through a huge test before they stay together for life. Each of the pregnant women who come to him has an unknown story hidden in them. There is little laughter, but much sorrow.Some of them finally achieved happiness, such as Jiang Chaosheng; some separated from their lovers and became the most familiar strangers; and some, such as Yang Anqing in front of me, are still groping along the road , stumbling toward an unknown future.

"Brother Yang, do you want to hear what's in my heart?"

Yang Anqing raised his head and nodded with a blank look.

"As an outsider, I'm not qualified to judge your affairs, but I hope you can be happy and spend your life with your lover like Chaosheng, so I will tell you the people and things I have seen, and finally let you to judge."

Jiang Baicao told many stories, the beginning of two of which are very similar to his experience.First meeting, heartbeat, staying together, betrayal, breaking up.But the ending of the story is very different. In the first story, the couple did not get back together, another man appeared to comfort the injured man, and then they lived happily together, but the betrayer has been single so far and can only drink alone. Bitter fruit.In the second story, they chose to bury the past in their hearts. Turning to this one and looking forward, they are now living a good life and already have children. They are no different from ordinary happy families.

This is so similar to the situation he encountered. If Ye Xingqu had no troubled family members two years ago, maybe they were already living together, and the second story might be his future, it all depends on his decision.

"Same-sex relationships are mostly twists and turns, and they are similar. Everyone's situation is different, but I think they all have the same goal, which is to be with the person they really love. The future is always unknown, and nothing can guarantee a lifetime happiness, so life is a gamble, risks always exist, but the benefits are far greater than the risks. As for whether to take risks, it all depends on your heart. In the first story, the injured man fell in love with someone else, completely obliterating the betrayer In the second story, although the injury happened, the love between them is still there. So I hope you ask your own heart when you choose. If you don’t have the slightest feeling for him, I advise you to go The first way, you have experienced too much, you should think more about yourself, as for Mr. Song, he must be responsible for his actions, you don’t have to worry about his feelings. If the opposite, you still have love for him Even if it’s just a little bit, I advise you to take another risk, if you win the bet, it will bring you a lifetime of happiness.”

Do I still love him?

Yang Anqing asked herself in her heart, he did not deny that he had a heartbeat the next morning after the relationship, but was that love? Eighteen years ago, he loved without hesitation and never thought about the future, but now he is afraid of making mistakes and thinking everywhere. Is such a relationship full of calculations and worries really love?

After returning home, Yang Anqing locked himself in the room and thought hard for several hours. His son had already fallen asleep, and Song Jue had already returned to his home. It was late at night, and Yang Anqing didn't feel any sleepiness. Repeat Jiang Baicao's words.

Even if he wanted to break his head, he couldn't be sure of his feelings, and he rolled on the bed in annoyance.

Why am I competing with myself here alone!

He suddenly realized this problem, and it was not his business alone, why not just ask Song Jue, maybe seeing him, he would be able to confirm how he felt about him.

It shouldn't be too late, and it doesn't matter that it's almost early in the morning, if you don't clarify this matter today, Yang Anqing will probably suffer from insomnia.He came to the door of Song Jue's house, and after a brief hesitation, he knocked lightly on the door.

He thought Song Jue was already asleep, but he didn't expect the door to open after a while. Song Jue was wearing home clothes and didn't feel sleepy at all, so he should have been up all the time.

Song Jue was surprised to see him: "An Qing, why are you still up so late? And why did you come out in your pajamas, the corridor is very cold without heating."

He took off his overcoat, wrapped Yang Anqing and pulled him into the house.The coat is made of cashmere, which is soft and comfortable to wear. A warm current flows through Yang Anqing's body, and her eyebrows and eyes soften.

"Song Jue, I have something to tell you."

Song Jue was startled: "What?"

He took Yang Anqing to the living room and asked him to sit down, and then went to the kitchen to make tea for him.Yang Anqing seldom came here, looked around and found that there was no difference from before. For the past two years, Song Jue has been living such a simple and ordinary life, giving most of his time and energy to his Yang Yang.The door of his study was open and the lights inside were still on. Yang Anqing realized that the reason why Song Jue stayed up so late was because he was still working.He seems to have overlooked one thing, that is, Song Jue has to take care of their three meals and pick up Yangyang during the day. His company is not too close to here, and it takes an hour to drive back and forth, not to mention the traffic jam. Later, he spent even less time in the company, so he had to take his business home and work overtime even late at night.

He never thought about it, because no matter what happened, Song Jue would knock on the door of his house at 7:15 every day, bring them a well-cooked breakfast and take the children to school.Such days have been repeated for more than 700 years, and Yang Anqing even took it for granted, ignoring those who have been giving.

Song Jue put a cup of ginger tea in front of him, along with some hot steamed buns. This was the dinner he made for Yang Anqing and his son. There was still some left over, just for him to make supper.

"You have a bad stomach, drink this Nuannuan first, then eat something, don't go to bed on an empty stomach."

Yang Anqing took the ginger tea, the water temperature has been adjusted, you can drink it directly, and after taking a sip, the warm feeling spread to all the limbs.This feeling made him feel very comfortable. Here, by Song Jue's side, he didn't have any burdens, and he didn't have to think about any trivial matters. There would always be a shoulder wider than him to shield him from the wind and rain.

He's touched, but not sure if it's love.He came here to seek an answer to his heart.

"Song Jue, I haven't asked you all this time, what do you think about what happened back then..."

Unexpectedly, he would ask this question, Song Jue was stunned for a few seconds, and then said: "It's hard for me to describe that feeling. When you first left, I thought you would definitely come back, because you loved me so much and accommodated me so much , let me feel that no matter what I do, I will be forgiven by you. But after a long time, I collapsed. During those days... I'm sorry, I indulged for a while, looking for your shadow in countless people, but I can only let you I became more and more empty. Later, I thought you were crazy and started looking for you everywhere, but..."

Speaking of this, Song Jue choked up. That part of the past is a taboo in his heart, and every time he finds out, it will definitely make him feel like a knife.

He took a few deep breaths, calmed himself down, and then said: "There is a question that Brother Dong asked, and I also asked myself, whether I am so attached to you because of love or unwillingness. I am confused However, I was sure the first time I saw you again - I love this person, I love him so much that I want to give him my heart."

Song Jue's eyes were facing Yang Anqing, shining with a brilliance that dazzled him, and Yang Anqing's heart suddenly missed a beat.

"Anqing, I don't expect you to forgive me, I just ask you to give me a chance, let me continue to take care of you and Yangyang like now, don't drive me away, I won't interfere with you, even if you fall in love with someone else ..." Song Jue paused, his breathing stopped when he thought of this possibility, "I also... can accept..."

Seeing such a humble and earnest Song Jue, Yang Anqing was deeply moved, but at the same time, a desire suddenly appeared in his heart - he wanted to rush up to hug him, smooth the wrinkles between his brows, and let him show a gentle smile again.

"Song Jue, say those three words again." He interrupted Song Jue suddenly.

"Huh?" Song Jue asked suspiciously.

Yang Anqing felt that it was a bit hypocritical to do so, and his face was slightly hot, but he decided to do it anyway, because at this moment, he really wanted to hear those three words, "It's the three words you told me in the morning two months ago. indivual."

Song Jue was stunned for a long time, and then said uncertainly: "I love you?"

Yang Anqing felt the familiar throbbing and uncontrollable tremor again. If it wasn't because of love, what else could have made him so out of control.

This time, he was extremely sure of his feelings, and decided to gamble one more time on the emotion of this moment—"Song Jue, I beg you one thing."

Yang Anqing smiled brightly, the light almost covered the chandelier on his head, and made Song Jue dizzy. He felt that Yang Anqing like this was so alluring, and was so excited that he wanted to pounce on him and kiss him.

"What, what?" Song Jue's body was on fire, which made his mouth dry and he stuttered.

Then, he heard Yang Anqing say - "Choose a name for our second child."