Luo Shengmeng has no feelings today

Proposal?

Akutagawa Ryunosuke finally remembered.

Ah, was Dazai making fun of him pretending to be Silver at that time?

So what's the response?

Just as Osamu Dazai thought, that scene was too unscrupulous, more joking than serious—not to mention that Akutagawa was dressed in silver at the time, if there was no [Mr. This guy was proposing to his sister. Akutagawa Ryunosuke probably let him see what hell is on the spot.

But it was also because the other party added a title to himself at the end, so it was subconsciously regarded as a joke and was not kept in mind.

So - what is the point of bringing this up now?

Before he could turn his head, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, who was still grabbing his trouser legs with a shrill cry, couldn't stop him for a while, so he asked his family Rashomon to pick up a chair and start murderously.

Rashomon, a poor little fellow who is incompatible with Osamu Dazai's ability and has a negative compatibility. It is extremely dominant and has been persecuted by [Disqualification in the World] for so long. It is probably impossible to coexist peacefully with the other party in this life.

The exquisite four-corner wooden chair of Akutagawa's house was thrown to the ground with great force by Rashomon, and it was cracked immediately, and several sections were broken. The roar, the jagged teeth are full of threats - but basically it's just a paper tiger, there is no way, Rashomon's attack method is doomed, he can't beat Dazai with a cloth blade, he can only smash things to vent his anger.

Osamu Dazai's physical skills are only a little better than ordinary people, but he is good at dodging. Rashomon picked up chairs, cups, and vases one by one, and was smoothly dodged by the man who looked like a loach.

It is rare for Rashomon Cat and Kanosuke to stand on a united front-what a joke, Akutagawa can't be with Osamu Dazai when he is with anyone!

This man is not a reliable type at all, that is, he is immature and unsteady. He works for three days and skips shifts. He hooks up with beautiful women everywhere and pays credit everywhere. The coffee shop downstairs did not blacklist him. It is the face of the detective agency There is basically nothing left from one month's salary, and I bought a bunch of game consoles, game disks, bandages... and works published by Akutagawa Ryunosuke (ah, this is a rare advantage recognized by Rashomon), It's fine to buy these, the most troublesome thing is his suicidal habit, he would sink into the water without thinking about it on a whim, and his wallet and mobile phone can't live for half a month, this is the real big expense.

Other than his face, this guy doesn't meet the criteria for choosing a mate at all, and he's not worth relying on at all——

What's the difference between being with this person and raising a child, the other person can't afford Akutagawa happiness at all!

There is no way to share the pressure of the little master Ryunosuke——

The Rashomon cat and Kannosuke meowed mournfully.

A gentle, courteous and caring wife is the most suitable spouse for Ryunosuke. Even if you have to be with a man, you can't choose such an unreliable man!

Akutagawa's health is not good, and his mentality is a bit paranoid, which is not optimistic. If these two get together, what if Ryunosuke is taken away!

Thinking about Osamu Dazai's habit of self-harm, Kanosuke wanted to transform back into a human form to protect the calf, and keep the other party as far away as possible.

"Proposal……?"

Akutagawa held down Rashomon with one hand, and pulled the ability to turn into a cat on the young master's shoulder. The black-haired, black-eyed young man bent down and hugged Kanosuke into his arms by the way, "Are you talking about your joke last time? ?”

jokes.

Popping an arrow at the little heart, Osamu Dazai froze for a moment, blinked his kite-colored eyes for a while, and dropped the half-destroyed chair used for defense in his hand to the ground.

He silently leaned over and looked seriously at Mr. Akutagawa, who was half a head shorter than himself.

Then in a soft and unbelievably soft tone, he whispered:

"...What if, what if it's the truth?"

"Ms. Akutagawa...will you agree to me? Although Mr. Akutagawa rejected me in the beginning, he shouldn't hate me now, right?"

Ow—

Rashomon let out another threatening growl.

Akutagawa froze in place, he looked seriously into Osamu Dazai's eyes, the cautiousness in his kite-colored pupils almost rushed towards his face.

But Akutagawa didn't immediately think about how to answer, but instead observed, judging whether such entangled emotions were the man's real thoughts, or just another joke.

After all, Osamu Dazai used to mix lies with truth. Some lies can be seen through at a glance, but some are really difficult to distinguish from reality. When necessary, it is not uncommon for him to speak lies as if they are the truth.

But... If it is a lie, what is his purpose?

Akutagawa couldn't figure it out.

The man in front of him was still waiting for his answer, so Akutagawa simply stopped guessing so much.

"Indeed, as you said, in the year we first met, I rejected you very much, and you at that time... were more dangerous."

As a mafia cadre, Osamu Dazai would never gain the trust of Ryunosuke Akutagawa.

After defecting and becoming a member of the detective agency, he was much better. With time, good friend Oda Sakunosuke and perseverance, he finally made Akutagawa no longer regard him as a dangerous and malicious scourge, but that's all. up.

Although it is a bit childish and still a bit dangerous in nature, overall, it is no longer an excessive threat to yourself and your family.

This is Akutagawa's positioning for Dazai.

It can't be called a close friend like Oda Sakunosuke, nor can it be called a family member, but it is much closer than a stranger.

But to be able to use the word close, according to Akutagawa's character, is already a pretty good position.

But... get married?

"I really don't hate you now, but if you want to enter into a marriage relationship...it doesn't seem to have the value of having to do that."

marriage?

For Akutagawa, whose mental age is unknown, it is really a rather unfamiliar term.

He had no idea of ​​marriage and therefore never thought about it.

Most of the marriages in the slums are not beautiful. Most of them are a man and a woman who live together without any ceremony. There are also some women who have never been married at all. They give birth to children as prostitutes and raise them a little bit. After that, they will be freed and no matter whether they live or die, even if there are some who love their children deeply, they will not be able to bring a good life to their own flesh and blood. There are too many cases where the father is unknown, and many orphans have never even met their parents. .

marriage……?

There doesn't seem to be anything worth attracting.

Killers walk on the tip of their knives, and entering into a marriage relationship is just to leave extra excuses for themselves. Although it doesn't mean that you can't have a lover, at least you must have a safe retirement after marriage, resist enemies who seek revenge, and have the strength and strength to protect each other. Emboldened.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa, who stayed by Mr. R's side until the age of 17, has not reached that level yet.

After the age of 17, Akutagawa returned to the original world, and then all his thoughts were attracted by finding Mr. R and bringing a normal and peaceful life to his family. He still had to write books on weekdays, and he had no extra energy to focus on other things.

What's more, Akutagawa Ryunosuke cannot conclude a marriage relationship now.

Because he will never stop looking for Mr. R, and may leave this world due to various accidents at any time, so why is it necessary to enter into a marriage relationship?

He was able to leave everything to his family, arrange everything, write a suicide note, and be prepared to never come back.

It is quite irresponsible and meaningless to get married on such a basis and add unnecessary concerns.

Therefore, Akutagawa Ryunosuke is destined not to agree.

"I have no intention of entering into any additional relationship, Dazai, if you want to rely on this relationship to gain a sense of security and salvation from this relationship, then please give up as soon as possible."

"...that kind of thing, I can't give you."

Unable to find the concern to live in this world, even putting on a snow-white shell, he can't cleanse his heart. Osamu Dazai, who is obsessed with suicide and martyrdom, cannot find the hope of living from Akutagawa Ryunosuke——Akutagawa is Think so.

He can't guarantee that he won't leave the other party, give the other party a sense of security, and can't guarantee that he can always write articles that satisfy the other party. Akutagawa Ryunosuke is not optimistic and can't tell people positive principles. The ability to silt people out.

Most of his articles, which are full of the evils of human nature, resonate.

Whether the reader wakes up because of this, does not want to become the appearance in the article and actively changes, or continues to sink, and treats this thin paper as the same kind to appease his conscience, it is entirely up to the individual.

The number of the former is a bit more, but it does not mean that there is no latter.

Osamu Dazai should know this too.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke has seen through the evil of human nature, compiled it into a story and displayed it. Readers have different interpretations, but in any case, Akutagawa Ryunosuke basically never wrote positive words.

Whether his words are salvation from heaven or whispers from hell, ultimately depends on the reader's understanding.

Unfortunately, Osamu Dazai belongs to the category of total perdition.

That's why his proposal line is like that, linking love, heaven and hell together.

It doesn't matter if Ryunosuke Akutagawa lets the other party approach occasionally, or indulges the other party's coquettishness occasionally, but if the time limit is set for a long time-this becomes the responsibility.

Akutagawa doesn't have the energy to take on additional responsibilities now.

however--

It's too strange for him to think like this.

Marriage is not something that one person pays at all. In Akutagawa's thoughts, he never thought about getting anything from Dazai from the beginning to the end, but simply summed it up as responsibility.

In other words, the current Akutagawa does not have the necessary feelings for Osamu Dazai—the so-called love thing.

But because the bottom line of tolerance for those close to him is extremely high, although Osamu Dazai is not as good as his family, he still belongs to the close category, so Akutagawa Ryunosuke did not immediately refuse, and he instinctively weighed a thing by its value. Whether the thing is worth doing, and finally came to the conclusion that [the interests of both of them are not enough], and refused.

The most important reason is - he cannot guarantee to stay in this world forever.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa has written a suicide note, how should he promise his life to others?

Especially Osamu Dazai, who relies too much on himself and finds it difficult to live alone when he is left behind.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa, who is completely out of his mind right now, can't support the opponent's world at all.

Therefore, marriage does not exist.

He is not the kind of irresponsible man.

So the answer is no.

"Is there no [value] in doing this..."

Osamu Dazai seemed to have calmed down, and the cautiousness in his eyes disappeared. He tilted his head, thought for a while, and showed a smile that would definitely arouse women's pity.

The pair of eyes that can melt into a dazzling and charming color like honey in the sun as long as they reveal a little bit of true feelings are almost hard to look away:

"So, can you give me the opportunity to create this [value], Akutagawa-sensei."

"...?" Akutagawa tilted his head.

"Ms. Akutagawa's words attracted me, and this is the reason for everything."

"Only when I saw Akutagawa-sensei's words, did I understand the meaning of the words, so since Akutagawa-sensei used words to attract me, please let me attract Akutagawa-sensei in the same way."

The black-haired, kite-eyed man made a rare promise: "I will write my heart out, just like the teacher resonates with me, which in turn resonates with Akutagawa-sensei, so please look at me, look at me and my words, and when I hold the Akutagawa Prize in front of you, please reconsider your answer."

"It's different from the family you protect and the friends you help... I want to stand by your side and stay by your side."

marriage?

For Osamu Dazai, this is also an ambiguous term.

He often talks about dying for love, hooks up with beautiful young ladies everywhere, and hangs around like a playboy, but in fact, how much sincerity he has given is only a handful.

When he was a cadre of the Port Mafia, there were countless women who cried for him.

Love?

Osamu Dazai himself didn't know about this kind of thing.

But ah, as his proposal line says:

[Except for you, I can't think of anyone who is more suitable to step into the hall of engagement with me. ]

Whether he said this sentence out of love, he doesn't care.

However, when he stayed beside Ryunosuke Akutagawa, it was the time when his heart was the most peaceful.

Put your arms around the other person's waist, bury your head in the other person's arms, and when the other person caresses his head gently, you can feel the existence of happiness from the thin body temperature.

——So, please prop up my world, even if it eventually collapses, it doesn't matter if we go to hell together.

Although it is not clear whether this is love, but since you can feel the ethereal happiness by your side, even a coward must have a chance to reach out.

……

Osamu Dazai, who promised to win the Akutagawa Prize, devoted himself to literature with far more energy than before.

Even Oda Sakunosuke couldn't match the seriousness of the other party, which really stunned his colleagues during that time.

In early April, Ryunosuke Akutagawa officially moved to Tokyo.

The organizer of the first Akutagawa Award had long ago decided to host it in Yokohama, the hometown of Mr. Akutagawa Ryunosuke, even if Akutagawa moved suddenly, there was no way to change it.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke will probably not return to Yokohama until the announcement of the Akutagawa Award shortlist in mid-July and the official announcement of the Akutagawa Award in August, but in early August, Akutagawa, who must be present as an award presenter, will return to Yokohama alone once.

Osamu Dazai wanted to be on the podium no matter what, to receive the certificate and prize from his favorite teacher Akutagawa.

Mr. Akutagawa presented the award in person - for the vast majority of fans, this is already far more attractive than the bonus.

The author has something to say: Zai: Please give me the Akutagawa Award——