[Titanic] I can't help myself

Our lifeboat has been floating on the surface of the dead sea, and with us, there are thousands of lost lives in the cold water.Everyone was silent, occasionally sobbing a few times, waiting for the rescue that would arrive at an unknown time.

A second-class female passenger was a nurse who worked in a hospital when she was young. She stood up and instructed my mother to take off my wet clothes and wrap them in dry clothes. She rubbed and massaged my limbs constantly to promote blood circulation. Keep my frostbite from getting worse, and warm my body.

Both the mother and the maid Rose brought on board survived. My mother directed them to circle around Carl and me, holding our frozen limbs in her arms, warming them with body temperature, and constantly rubbing and massaging them. She held my head in her arms and massaged my face and head with her hands.

Rose was left alone, and only her personal maid was serving her. Compared with the hustle and bustle on my side, it looked very pitiful, but my mother seemed to be because of her previous behavior of jumping the ship and causing me to miss boarding. chance, and refused to forgive her.Mother hadn't spoken to Rose or touched her since she was dragged out of the water, and she didn't even look at her.

Driven by the female nurse, everyone donated some of their clothes. Some enthusiastic female passengers, especially some older ladies, took the initiative to take part in the work of rescuing the survivors who fell into the water. These may have become grandmothers. The person in charge changed the male passenger's clothes without any grudges, and rubbed his hands and feet that were frozen stiff.Everyone had something to do, and the atmosphere on the sea was finally not so scary and dignified.

We waited for more than an hour until the first ray of sunlight passed through the distant place where the water and the sky meet and fell on the sea, only to see the cruise ship Carpathia not far away that was looking for us.There were no passengers on the Carpathia, and there were more than enough survivors with less than 1000 people.The crew members who received the distress signal four hours ago had already prepared enough warm woolen sweaters and thick blankets, as well as hot soup to keep out the cold.

The lifeboat was tied with life-saving cables and pulled onto the cruise ship. We, the survivors who were rescued after falling into the water, were the first to be pulled onto the cruise ship.We were carried into a warm room and immediately put on warm sweaters and wrapped in blankets.

The doctor on board did the simplest preliminary examination for us, and he highly praised the nurse for giving us the simplest rewarming and first aid, saying that if we survivors who fell into the water did not receive any treatment, then we will die now. We have been severely frostbitten, and may even go into shock and die. Now, we only have some slight frostbite on our limbs, and less severe dehydration. We may catch a cold. As long as the rest do not develop a high fever and develop into pneumonia, we will soon be able to recover.

It was not until 08:30 that all the lifeboats were hoisted onto the Carpathia, and at the same time, the work of salvaging the dead bodies was carried out. The female passengers in the first and second class paid a lot of money to ask the crew to help them Looking for the remains of her husband.

These women were all huddled on the deck, watching the boat after boat of corpses being pulled onto the boat, and one after another corpses that had been frozen pale and stiff were neatly placed on the deck. cry bitterly.According to Mrs. Brown, who had been on the deck, many of these women did not want to believe that their husbands were dead. They asked the crew to bring blankets and hot soup, and rubbed the hands and faces of the dead in vain, hoping that they would recover. A little temperature.

I don't know what kind of mentality they have. When the Titanic just sank and people were struggling on the sea, almost none of these wives were willing to return to find their husbands, but when they saw the corpse, they did Such a sad gesture.

When all the remains of the victims that were visible to the naked eye were salvaged, the chaplain and captain of the Capania held a simple mourning ceremony.Afterwards, the Capania, loaded with widows and desperate tears, began to sail back to New York, the original destination of the Titanic.

We were rescued on the morning of April [-]th, and did not reach New York Harbor until the evening of the [-]th.

During the return voyage, most of the people on board began to get sick. These women had more or less symptoms of a cold after freezing in the cold wind late at night. Some women with weak bodies were even bedridden with emaciation.For a while, the doctors on board were very busy.

My mother also fell ill, and her emotions experienced ups and downs. In such a cold weather, she gave me the coat on her body, and she was also very cold. When she obtained a definite guarantee from the doctor, she learned that I was completely out of the After being in danger and only needing enough time to recover, he passed out as soon as he breathed a sigh of relief in his heart, and then he showed symptoms of a severe cold and started to have a low-grade fever.

The Carpagna had no first-class cabins, only two hundred second-class cabins, and more first-class passengers were rescued than that.Carl was very prescient. When we first set foot on the Carpathia, he asked my mother to bribe the crew with the few soaked cash and some jewelry on us, and got three second-class cabins. Tenure, one room for mother, one room for Rose, one room for me and him.Regarding the question of why he no longer needs an extra room, he told me politely that in this case, he didn’t want to take up too many resources, then he hugged me who was squinting at him, and kissed me I couldn't stop the corners of my mouth from rising.

As for Jack, he was taken to his room by the kind Mrs. Brown, who had a good impression of Jack, who was as old as her own child.

Rose's physical fitness is better than I imagined. She almost recovered the next day, and immediately ran to Mrs. Brown's room to exchange heart and soul with Jack.

When my mother knew about it, she hardly showed any expression.I was sitting by her bed talking to her.She was silent for a long time, and finally said: "My daughter has died in the cold water of the Atlantic Ocean."

It took me a long time to understand what she meant. She wanted to drive Rose out of the house, but she didn't want to tarnish the family's reputation.

"Don't be angry. You drive her away. If something happens to her, you won't be the one who is saddest in the end?" I persuaded, "Besides, so many surviving first-class passengers, they all saw Rose survived."

The mother shook her head wearily. Her fever had just subsided, and she looked very listless. "You can also wait until you go ashore and say that she has pneumonia and died of illness."

"Why bother." I lay beside her and held her hand, "I don't feel sorry for her, I'm just afraid that you will regret it."

"Henry, do you know how I feel when one lifeboat after another is rowing by in the ocean without you on board? My heart is about to break! I was terrified to see so many people falling off the boat, what if one of them is you? The sea is so cold, if I arrive a little later, will you die on the surface? I don't know now Dare to think!"

My mother's voice began to tremble, I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek: "It's okay, it's okay."

My mother hugged my head, cried softly for a while, and then said: "It's all because of her, if she didn't put herself in danger for a little bastard I didn't know for two days, you wouldn't miss it The opportunity to board the boat. As a result, she doesn't know how to care about her family, and she only thinks about her lover. She has become like this."

"She's not sensible yet, Mom," I reassured.

"I know what you're thinking, do you think I just wanted to drive her out of the house on impulse?" My mother stroked my hair and said, "Although this idea is a temporary decision, I never act on impulse If she still had a little remorse, I would not be so unfeeling, but now, I will never forgive her again, absolutely not. She has already broken my heart. Since she would rather give up My family, I want to go that way too, then I won't stop her, and from now on, even if she dies, I won't regret it."

I leaned on my mother's arms without talking, we lay quietly for a long time, until I thought my mother had fallen asleep, she suddenly said: "After getting off the boat, let her go. Her father I originally left a fund for her as a dowry. I had no right to dispose of that money. In this case, I should give it all to her. However, the money was lost by her father in the end, but it was still a little bit. You can still give her a thousand pounds every year. The money for the first year will be given to her when she disembarks, and she can take it with her."

I went to Rose's room that day and told Rose about my mother's decision.After listening to what I said, her expression looked complicated, and she couldn't tell whether she was happy or sad.We sat facing each other, looking at the ground between us, silently waiting for the other to speak first.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, "you almost died because of me. I'm really sorry, I never wanted to kill anyone. But I know that's not an excuse for me to shirk responsibility. No matter what I mean , I did something wrong after all.”

"Is it just this one thing?" I asked back, "Is this the only thing you did wrong?"

"I know you mean Jack, yes, he's a commoner and poor, but I really love him..."

"After you were able to get out of bed and walk," I interrupted her, "why did you go to Dawson the first thing? Mom's fever just passed, and she's still lying in bed, and I'm in the cold sea We have been soaking in the hospital for a long time, and our situation is not good, why didn't you think of coming to see us, but went to him at the first time?"

Rose raised her head and looked at me anxiously: "Because... because you have been well taken care of...you have several maids serving you, and doctors come to check your body every day..."

"It's not an excuse, Rose, it's not an excuse." I looked at her disappointedly, "Dawson has also been well taken care of, Mrs. Brown is very kind, and she helped Dawson like she took care of her own child , he also lives in the second-class cabin, has no worries about food and clothing, and can get a doctor's examination every day."

Rose blinked quickly, she looked a little hesitant.

"So, the real reason is that you only have your lover in your heart, and Jack's weight far exceeds all of us. No, or, you only have you in your heart, and we are not important to you.

"Rose, I'm really strange, I always think you are very kind, you are very kind to the servants of the manor, you have always been keen on charity, you care about the poor tenants in Acton, you care about the Titanic Poor people in the third class who have no way to escape by lifeboat, you care about so many strangers, but why don’t you know how to care about your family?”

"Because...because..."

"Because we don't need to care?"

"I..." Rose was speechless when I asked.

"Rose, the concern for the person you love does not increase or decrease depending on whether or not the other person needs it, or how much it needs, because it is your spontaneous emotion. Maybe you can't help at all, but you will There's a rush, there's a lot of worry, you're uneasy, and you're going to wish you could do something, even if it doesn't work.

"So in the final analysis, you don't have us in your heart at all. You are spoiled, Rose, you only have yourself in your heart. In fact, whether you care about the servants, the poor, or Jack, the root is not you How kind you are is just to satisfy your own psychological needs. Otherwise, if you really know how to be grateful, how to care for others, and how to love others, how could you treat the person who did your best to raise you like this? Mom, how could you treat me like this who has lived with you for more than ten years?

"Rose, we all love you, but do you love us? When we were most difficult, you only knew how to miss your father, lament your future, resent your mother for marrying you to someone you don't love, and blame me I don't understand your feelings, but have you ever thought about how much mother has put in to support the manor, and how much energy she has put into choosing a suitable husband for you? You always feel that our minds are narrow-minded , not as profound and advanced as you who are knowledgeable and knowledgeable, but have you ever thought about communicating with us? Have you ever thought about understanding what we are thinking?

"Do you think the thing about you and Dawson let us down the most? He is not a nobleman? You will embarrass us by being with him? No, it was at the moment of life and death, and you chose a stranger you had known for two days People, and abandoned us. It was on the Titanic, it is, and it is. You have no repentance at all.

"So, Rose, you're selfish and willful, and you've broken our hearts, and that's why mother and I won't forgive you."

Rose lowered her head and said nothing.We were silent for a long time and seemed to have nothing to say.

"...I'm sorry..." she said softly.

I sighed, stood up and prepared to go back to the room. My body was very weak as if I had experienced a serious illness. I spent most of the day resting in bed. I had seen my mother and talked to her for so long. Feeling very tired.

"Also, Henry." She stopped me suddenly, and when I stopped to look at her, she seemed a little hesitant, as if struggling, before continuing, "I see, you and Karl... But I didn't tell anyone!" she added eagerly.

"……thanks."

"Is that why you want to break my engagement with him?"

I blinked, "Not at all."

She squeezed out a smile with red eyes: "I don't mean anything else by saying this. Although I...but no matter what happens, I will always sincerely hope that you will be happy."

The author has something to say: Thanks to classmate Heiwuzi, classmate Nanzi, classmate who dug a hole without filling it and was struck by lightning, classmate Thirteen Seals and classmate Glass Shoes for the thunder~~~Mommada~~~

The promised blackening and unrighteousness of the three views became unexpectedly warm after the episode. .But I still lied to everyone so many tears, I feel so honored, 1~~

Therefore, classmate Rose will not appear again in the near future~

The Titanic plot is over, but there are still many plots that have not been written about that dear! ! !It's too early to finish! !Everyone don't go~~~