[Titanic] I can't help myself

I thought I was going to be late, but thanks to the ladies who are always on the lookout, most of them are still dressing up, leaving a large group of men in black tuxedos crowded in the room next to the restaurant, like a crowd Big shiny penguin.I am amused by this association of mine.

"What makes you so happy to think of it?" Carl came over and asked.

"Nothing." I smiled at him.

The ladies at least kept us waiting for another half an hour. They floated down the stairs in groups, their high heels made a crisp sound on the wooden floor, all kinds of jewels shone under the bright lights, and the fragrance of flowers burst into the air. There is nothing in the air.

"Ah, it's finally come down." Carl's tail sounded lightly, "Ladies always use their right to the fullest."

I couldn't help laughing.

The seating arrangement this time is very meaningful, and Carl sat between me and Rose, which seems to be the mother's handwriting.It seemed that she was trying to bring Carl and Rose together, and she was worried that Rose would say something rude, so she put me aside to make up for it.

I am not surprised by this at all. Carl is of extraordinary background, successful in his career, handsome and rich. In every respect, he is the most outstanding candidate among all the guests. Rose is the countess, noble and beautiful. Astonishingly beautiful, as long as she doesn't say her shocking remarks, she is a lady with high education, good conversation, extraordinary taste, and elegant manners. Her only shortcoming is that she does not have a rich dowry, and Karl, who works with me, knows that This is about to become a thing of the past.The two were a match made in heaven, and there was no reason for Mother to pass up the opportunity for Rose to bear Hockley's surname.

I couldn't help being a little jealous of Rose. My mother could fight for an excellent man for her, but I can only marry a woman who I can't fall in love with in my life in the future under the requirements of responsibilities and obligations.

But for now I'd better let go of these dark little thoughts.

Rose changed into a long dark red dress today, which made her skin even fairer.A gentleman sitting next to her kept trying to talk to her, but Rose just smiled politely and seemed uninterested.The man opposite is also trying to arouse her interest.She was, as always, the focus of women at this dinner.

"Your sister is very beautiful, Henry," Carl whispered, leaning slightly towards me.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"However," he said after a pause, narrowing his eyes, "if you were a girl, I'm afraid that Miss Rose would also become a little daisy beside the rose."

"You are really..." I really don't know what to say to this flirtatious joke. If he is gay, this is obviously a hint, but he is straight. The child's teasing made me not know whether to be angry or to laugh it off, "Stop making such jokes, are you saying I look like a woman?"

"Are you angry?" Carl said close to my ear, "I'm sorry, I don't mean anything else."

"I'm not angry, but I think you don't want to be compared with girls." I picked up the glass, glanced at him, and then took a small sip.

Carl raised his eyebrows and was about to say something when Rose's slightly raised voice suddenly came over.

"I don't think being able to ride horses and hunt often has any advantage over others, but reading books seems poor and humble." Rose raised her chin, her eyes fell on a lady diagonally opposite, "It's just a kind of exercise, a kind of Hobbies can exercise the body and kill time, but reading can enrich the brain and increase knowledge, making people less stupid. Besides, the nobility of a person is not reflected in idleness and extravagance. If I had to choose, I would rather be a poor person in material life But laborers with a rich spiritual world don’t want to be ignorant and rich.”

"Ha, is it?" The lady who spoke was wearing a champagne-colored dress, her hair was pulled up high with many diamond hairpins, and a string of sparkling diamonds hung around her long neck. It is a dazzling white swan, but the jewels all over it do not look vulgar.

"She is Margaret, the daughter of the Viscount Beblen. This Viscount owns a gold mine and a diamond mine in South Africa." Carl saw that I didn't seem to know this lady, so he turned his head and explained softly in my ear.

"Actually, I don't intend to show off, but a person of any status should naturally do something. I never said that reading is poor and humble, but it's too uncommon for our class." Miss Margaret's tone was tactful She sarcastically said, "Of course, Miss Rose, between expensive country sports and free reading, you really can only choose to enrich your meager brain, after all, in Acton's case It is more appropriate for you to be an honest nerd. Although hunting on horseback is the most common activity for most of the people present, I am afraid that Miss Rose, who is well-read, can only pass through the inferior class. Only the fanciful novels written by people can reminisce about the ordinary things in the past.”

Miss Margaret's sarcasm can be regarded as bitter and mean, and this hurtful remark is neither abuse nor slander, she just uttered a point that everyone knew and mother always wanted to cover up. fact.

A few people away, I could see my mother's pale face for a moment.Aunt Edith took her hand, and the smile faded a little.

Although Rose was at fault, before Miss Margaret fought back, it was at most just a bickering between young people, no matter what they said, they shouldn't be so disrespectful.I couldn't help but a small flame rose in my heart, I really wanted to put the plate on her head, but I still pressed it down desperately. After all, Miss Margaret has the capital of being vitriolic, and what she said is the truth.What's more, Rose's statement just now that reading is more noble than riding and hunting can almost offend the entire table. In this era, riding and hunting is still the privilege of the nobles. There is no hunting ground for them to hunt. This is a way to show their identity and class, and it represents the uniqueness and superiority of the nobles.

Rose took a deep breath, her eyes widened as if she wanted to say something, and I quickly said, "Rose, you can't just say that because Miss Margaret's riding skills are better than yours. How can you belittle the fun of riding a horse in order to cover up your inactivity, all because of your inactivity?"

Then I turned to Miss Margaret, "Miss Margaret, I have heard that you are an excellent knight, but I have never had the chance to appreciate your heroic posture on horseback. The fox hunting season will start next Wednesday, maybe This time, gentlemen and I can feast our eyes."

Miss Margaret looked at me with her lips pursed, her gray eyes were like sharp eagles, and cold sweat broke out on my back.No matter who is responsible for the conflict just now, we belong to the party that is slaughtered. If Miss Margaret is not willing to give in, and I am not the kind of eloquent person, I am afraid there will be something tonight. Big ugly, mother will definitely faint.

Carl's hand came over quietly under the cover of the table and patted my thigh.I couldn't help but glanced at him. This soothing behavior made me feel that my cold limbs gradually warmed up a little.

Suddenly Miss Margaret smiled: "You are really flattering, and I am also looking forward to admiring your riding skills on the hunting ground. So is this why Miss Rose, who has always been gentle and quiet, suddenly said these inexplicable words? My God, I made me say some nonsense. I'm so sorry, Earl Richardmond, I apologize for the nonsense I just said." She raised her glass to me, and then turned to Rose with a warm smile on her face. , like Rose's best friend, "Miss Rose, although reading is really interesting, but physical health is more important. Besides, doing more sports like horseback riding is also good for the brain."

The atmosphere seemed to be warming up gradually, so I turned my head to Rose and said, "Rose, I think you should also apologize, after all, it's all because of you."

Rose's mouth was tightly shut, and the fingers holding the tableware were so hard that the knuckles turned white.She looked at her plate silently and said nothing.

"Rose, my dear," the mother said, and she looked at Rose tenderly, as if she was only three years old, but I could see the sharp and angry knives hidden in her eyes, "Don't be so self-willed, You have grown up, and you have to apologize when you do something wrong. Miss Margaret has already apologized, and you have to learn this fine quality from others."

Rose looked up at her mother, flinched for a moment, finally raised her head slowly, looked at Miss Margaret, and whispered, "I'm very sorry, Miss Margaret, I apologize for what I said just now."

"Young girls are so restless," Aunt Edith said with a smile, "one moment they are arguing, and the next second they can make up. But friendship between women is established in such a noisy way. Up. To friendship!" She raised her glass.

A crisis passed in this way.I secretly breathed a sigh of relief, only to feel the chill on my back.Carl leaned over and whispered in my ear, "You did a good job."

"Really? Thanks. I'm actually scared to death." I gave a weak smile.

After the fear was over, anger and guilt surged up, stuck in his heart, and he couldn't breathe.I couldn't resist looking at Rose.Rose hadn't learned how to hide her emotions yet, and she looked very upset, with a little redness around her eyes.Although this dispute was caused by her reckless and inappropriate remarks, she did not deserve such a result.

I put my head down and force myself to focus on the steak on my plate.

If possible, I really want to find an empty corner to vent to the sandbag, but now I can only continue to maintain decent behavior, put on a decent smile at the dining table, suppress all emotions, and can't do anything .A burgeoning sense of self-loathing swelled in my heart, and I could hardly eat, and the delicious steak in my mouth seemed to be stuck in my throat.I had to put down my knife and fork and pretend to taste wine to cover it up.

This kind of feeling of being insulted at will and forcing the family to bow their heads is really bad, but who told me that I don't have the ability to make Rose do whatever she wants?If I also have gold mines and diamond mines, a millionaire, full of confidence, then no matter what amazing remarks Rose makes or disputes with anyone, I can stand behind her and let her fight back at will, even if it is nonsense. Can.

But here, I can't, we have nothing.

Suddenly someone touched his arm, Carl leaned slightly towards me, shaking the wine glass gently with one hand, this action made him chic and charming, "Don't be afraid." His lips moved slightly, small and low The voice floated into my ears, "Don't be sad. There is still me."

His voice is calm and gentle, like the wind passing through the thick and thick branches of a towering tree, "If," he paused, and glanced at me, the meaning in his eyes was self-evident, "I will help you."

The support of this iron post is like a drop of hot wax oil, dripping on my heart, making my eye sockets sour.The wet feeling came so quickly, I had no time to control it, so I quickly lowered my head, grabbed the napkin on my lap, pretended to wipe my lips as a cover, blinked my eyes, and didn't raise my head until I suppressed the sour feeling. beginning.

"Thank you, Carl." I said softly, glanced at his side face, and suddenly felt a suffocating constriction in my heart.And soon, this strange feeling disappeared without a trace, as if it was just my illusion.