[Titanic] I can't help myself

Aunt Violet was talking about Emily's next year's eout in the middle of lunch.As an adult, Emily will officially enter the London social circle.

"Next year will be Emily's first season. I've been looking forward to this moment since she was born." Aunt Violet said proudly, looking at her daughter with satisfaction, who lowered her eyes shyly, "For She prepared the dresses needed to meet His Majesty, as well as the clothes needed to participate in various balls, and showed her perfectly to His Majesty and everyone else. What a proud thing for her parents to prepare for all this ah!"

The mother gently put down the cup and said with a faint smile: "Yes, 18 years of hard work has cultivated her into a beautiful rose, but when she blooms the most beautiful, she is given to others. Oh, think about it It's all sad." She covered her chest and sighed pretending to be sad, and then continued, "I really envy you, Violet, you can still let Emily accompany you for a few more years, and my Rose She will leave me soon. However, since Carl is such an excellent suitor, how can I not let her go to pursue happiness?"

"Thank you for your compliment, Ruth." Carl, who was sitting at the other end, raised his glass from a distance.

Aunt Violet's expression froze on her face.Here, the achievement of a woman's life lies in her own marriage, and an excellent husband is more valuable than all outstanding talents and virtues.And what mother said just now was nothing more than secretly mocking Emily for not being able to get married, and staying with Aunt Violet as an old girl.

I exchanged veiled glances with Rose and James.At this time, Uncle Connery asked, "Rose, when are you going to get married?"

"The result of our preliminary discussion is to return to the United States next year to get engaged first," Karl replied for Rose, "and then hold the wedding ceremony after Rose becomes an adult."

I froze for a moment.I couldn't believe my ears.They even discussed when to get engaged and when to get married, and I have never heard of all this!

I felt as if my heart was being pinched by an invisible hand, and it hurt so badly that I couldn't breathe.I couldn't help asking: "When did you discuss it, why didn't you call me? I don't know anything."

I think my voice must be very strange, it probably sounds high-pitched and thin, and a little hoarse.Because I feel that my lungs are curled up and I can't breathe, and the little air left in my chest is not enough to support me to complete my sentences normally.

My mother gave me a strange look: "It's these two days. I think you are very busy. I don't want to delay your business. I plan to discuss the preliminary results and then tell you. I will listen to your opinion. Why, dear, what do you have? Suggestion?"

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath, the lungs were forced to open and it hurt like it was about to burst.

"No, it's just, I'm just a little surprised. I thought you guys would call me during the discussion. But it doesn't matter. After all, it's Carl and Rose's marriage. As long as you think it's appropriate, I have no objection."

The atmosphere on the table was a bit awkward, and I stiffly kept smiling.

"So when are you going to leave for America?" James asked suddenly.

"Should be in April," Carl said.

"Oh, then you probably won't be able to catch up with the social season starting in April, and I plan to invite you to Emily's eout and her coming-of-age dance together."

"Looks like we'll just have to miss this great event," said my mother. "I wish you great success."

"Can't we wait?" James asked. "It looks like you're in a hurry."

"We are going to set off on the Titanic. The Titanic is estimated to be completed in March and officially launched into production in April. The White Star Company invited me to participate in its maiden voyage. After all, the steel used in this ship is Hockley. produced by the company."

"It turned out to be because of this reason. I saw this ship in the newspaper. It is really a big guy." James said with a slightly exaggerated tone, "It is the largest cruise ship in the world right now."

"Yes, the largest and most luxurious." Carl said, took a sip of wine, and continued, "The ship is equipped with various facilities, library, Turkish bath, elevator, squash court, swimming pool, etc. .Its splendor and comfort even a king can't point out its shortcomings..."

I didn't listen to the latter words.I have to thank James for interjecting, so that I have enough time and space to organize my feelings and thoughts without being rude at the dinner table in front of the guests.

I remained silent until the end of lunch, declined James' invitation to take the young ladies out for a walk, and returned to my room.

There was no one in the house.I didn't take off my coat and fell directly on the bed.I lay on my side, looking at the blue sky without a trace of cloud outside the window, I didn't think about anything, I just felt so tired that I just wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep, but I didn't feel sleepy at all.It wasn't until my eyes were dry and painful by the bright light of the sky that I retracted my gaze and lowered my eyes to look at the pattern on the quilt.

I don't know how long I lay there before I heard the door being opened gently.George walked to the side of the bed, leaned down, saw that my eyes were open, and asked softly, "Master? Are you feeling unwell? Do you need me to call Dr. Clark?"

I didn't speak, I just found it difficult to open my mouth.

"If you want to rest, let me change into your pajamas first. Sleeping in a dress will be very uncomfortable."

Seeing that I still didn't speak, George stood silently for a while, and finally knelt down and took off my shoes for me.

I moved my body, let myself lie on my back on the bed, took a deep breath, and let it out again, feeling like a piece of rotten dough, exhausted all over.

"George, I'm so stupid," I murmured, "jumping off a cliff when I know it's there."

"Everybody does something stupid, but not all stupid things are a precipice of irreversibility. And you're just wasting some time."

"I'm like a cuckoo, despicably coveting a nest that doesn't belong to me, trying to push others out of their place, but pretending that all the evil deeds didn't happen." I sneered, "It's ridiculous, shameless, and sorrow."

"Don't say that, master. You just accidentally fell into a trap, and you haven't broken out yet." George said gently, "You are a kind and soft-hearted person, and you have never done anything to hurt others. Don't You are so harsh on yourself."

"Yes, thank you." I forced a smile on him. "George, I want to sleep for a while, but I don't want to get up and change."

George also smiled and said, "Leave it all to me, please."

So I lay like this while George lifted me up and down, changed into pajamas, and finally tucked me under the covers.While doing all this, I felt like I was as light as a blanket to George, and he looked as if he could handle it.

I half-squinted and watched George close the curtains for me, the room immediately became dark, and then I lit an Indian incense stick and put it on the small table in the corner, so that it would not smoke me, but also let the aroma work. It should have the effect of calming the nerves.

"You're as strong as a bear." I mumbled, "It's so enviable to look at."

"If I were as thin as a kitten, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to provide you with the comfortable service I am doing now, young master."

"That's true." I shrank back under the covers again. "I can't imagine what I would do without you. You're not going to learn to quit like everyone else, George."

"You don't need to think about this issue. You know, I will never leave you. Acton is my home, and my duty is to stay by your side, master." George whispered, "What else? Do you want to order?"

"Call me in four or 10 minutes." I closed my eyes, "I have an appointment in the afternoon with... I want to go to the machine shop with Karl... Oh, God, I really hope I can get sick." Bright hiding instead of going out with the last person I want to see right now because of some bloody family responsibilities.

"Don't push yourself too hard, sir, may I cancel the afternoon's trip to Mr. Hockley on your behalf?"

"No, no need, I just need to sleep for a while." I shrunk again until the soft quilt completely surrounded my face. One point, it might not be responsible for yourself."

"You are right. Rest well, mylord, then."

It is said that work can heal wounds, so I deliberately arrange my time very tightly.My mother and Rose will arrange all the Christmas matters, and the old housekeeper Charles will assist me, so I don't need to worry about it at all.So I was busy going in and out all day, and I was on the way to inspect the machinery factories every day. I actually checked all the machinery factories before Christmas, and even visited several people who bought products from these machinery factories. customers who inquire about the quality of the product.

I just didn't want to leave myself too much time to grieve, but I didn't expect this to attract the interest of men.Horseback riding, walking, having dinner and playing cards, these things that people do every day, even at Christmas, people have little interest. Compared with the farm reform and the machinery and equipment to be purchased, they attract their attention more.Everyone's voluntary participation has reduced the time I spend alone with Carl.This gave me a big sigh of relief.