[Titanic] I can't help myself

According to her mother's instructions, after three days of "careful consideration", Rose agreed to Karl's marriage proposal and became the fourth pair of "lovers" to establish a relationship at this gathering.So far, this trip to Chatsworth, which lasted nearly two months, has successfully achieved all the expected goals. When we went out, we were still panicked like bereaved dogs, and when we left, we turned back to the glamorous big Aristocrats, they are confidently above everyone.

On the night Carl and Rose started their relationship, William quietly came to my room.

I was sitting on the sofa in front of the fire in my nightgown, my bare feet curled up under my thighs, and I was holding a mug of hot chocolate wine.I haven't been able to sleep well for the past few days. George cooked a large pot of chocolate red wine for me. The melted chocolate, milk and red wine were mixed together, and some cocoa powder was sprinkled. The slightly bitter sweetness and just the right taste The alcohol flowed warmly into my stomach, soothing my depressed mood and relaxing my tense nerves.

"He will soon become your brother-in-law." William walked slowly to me and sat down. , my dear Henry, and I will not pretend that I am sorry for it."

I curled the corner of my mouth, didn't speak, and continued to stare at the jumping fire in a daze.

William didn't speak any more. He first stretched his body and leaned against the back of the sofa, watching the fire with me, then sat up suddenly, reached out and snatched the cup from my hand, and took a drink right where I drank. gulp.

"...What the hell is this?" His expression was a little twisted.

"Chocolate red wine." I rolled my eyes speechlessly, leaned out from the sofa, stretched out my hand to reach for the silver coffee pot on the coffee table in front of the sofa, and almost fell off the sofa.William helped me, stood up and poured me a glass of red wine and chocolate and stuffed it into my hand.

"Is this how you let George ruin the red wine in the manor? It's a reckless waste. Even Queen Victoria praised Chatsworth's red wine." William looked at the brown liquid in the glass with disgust, but he didn't put down the glass. Take a sip.

"I can't sleep." I pretended not to care that I had drunk the glass in his hand. "Drinking some wine before going to bed is said to help sleep, but George doesn't want me to become an alcoholic. This thing is for me personally. The taste is not bad, after all, I like sweets."

William let out a long breath, and drank the contents of the cup bit by bit.I leaned on the armrest of the sofa, tilted my head and continued to look at the fireplace.Alcohol had started to do its job and I was starting to feel a drowsy drowsiness.

"Do you like him that much?" William sighed, and said in a low voice, with a hint of depression and frustration in his voice, "Do you like him so much in less than two months?"

I retracted my gaze and met his eyes, the change of light made my eyes dim, and it took a long time for his face to slowly become clear.

"Actually, I don't know," I whispered, "I don't know. Sometimes, when you don't get something, you feel uncomfortable, sad, or angry, but really, you have to Admit it, you can’t tell if your emotions are because of the thing or just because you don’t have it.”

William slowly widened his eyes, which made his handsome face look a little dazed.The dim light softened the lines on his face, making him look extraordinarily gentle, with a hazy charm that made people dizzy.

"That means, mysweetheart," he put down his glass and slowly pressed his body towards me, "I still have a chance, don't I?"

His deep voice slowly flowed in the empty room, with a slight pick up in the end, so sexy that people wanted to scream.

My brain was dazed, and I was dazzled by the man in front of me.After all, I am not really innocent and ignorant of the world. In my previous life, apart from the love that brought me a huge blow, I also had a few short-term relationships and a few long-term bed friends.William has a deep-lined face and deep-set eyes, which makes him look extraordinarily charming and affectionate, especially when he is looking at someone intently, love is almost flowing from those blue eyes.If I met this kind of man in my previous life, I would definitely have sex with him without hesitation.

Seeing that I didn't refuse, William carefully knelt down on the sofa, put one hand on the back of the sofa beside me, and the other on the armrest, and bent down. The exhaled breath brushed my face, bringing With a hint of red wine and chocolate.He whispered, "Mylove, can I kiss you?"

I blinked, breathing more and more quickly.As if he was afraid of scaring me, he approached my face carefully with a speed that was almost imperceptible.

"I'm sorry!" I raised my hand to support his chest, pushed him away firmly, quickly left the sofa, stood barefoot on the carpet, and took two steps back, "I'm sorry, William, I drank too much and my mind is a little out of order Clear. Sorry."

I rubbed vigorously my face, which was a little numb under the influence of alcohol.The beating heart made me a little breathless, and the blood flow too fast made my feet weak.

"Shit!" William cursed, and violently reached out to brush back the messy hair that was in front of his eyes, then stretched his limbs, and collapsed on the sofa without any image.

I covered my eyes and stood on the floor without moving. After I calmed down, I stepped on my cold feet and climbed to the sofa opposite William and sat down.

"So," William said wearily, "I don't have a chance at all, do I?" Before I could answer, he asked, "Why?"

I thought about it carefully, and said, "William, Karl is also a very good man, but obviously, you don't like him, don't you?"

William sneered: "For me, Cal Hockley is a rival in love."

"Well, just an example." I raised my hand and waved it casually, as if trying to dispel the embarrassment caused by the word "rival in love", "I think you should understand what I mean. A man, even if he likes women, he will not have love for all good women. The same is true for liking men. As far as you are concerned, there is nothing wrong with it, it's just... "

I paused, and William quickly continued: "I just don't feel it, do I?"

I nodded, "Most importantly, William, you are married."

"If I decide to be with any man in the future," I looked into William's eyes seriously, and said softly, "I will try my best to be loyal to my love, no matter from which aspect. But if I decide Married, then I will be faithful to my marriage, the same, no matter from which aspect."

Our eyes met. After a long time, William sat up suddenly and covered his eyes.

"Totally out, isn't it?" He coughed to hide his strange voice, "but fortunately Cal Hockley is also out, at least I'm not the most miserable one."

"You are the Duke of Prestbury, you have shouldered important responsibilities since you were born, and you are destined not to be able to do what you want." I said, "However, are you making a mistake? The relationship between Carl and me is only my unilateral interest in him." Attempts, speaking of it, count me out."

William put down his hand, gave me a weird look, and suddenly laughed, "That's right, my dear cousin, I'm not the same as Cal Hockley, that guy is straighter than a pencil, and he likes women."

"It's too late, you should go to bed." William stood up, straightened his clothes, and glanced at the grandfather clock.

"You too." I stood up too.

He walked to the door, just put his hand on the doorknob, stopped suddenly, turned back and stood in front of me.

"Henry, a good night kiss, okay? Just on the face." He reached up to touch my face.

"I'm sorry, William, I'm afraid not." I took a step back. "Unless you no longer have any affection for me other than family, I refuse to accept any overly intimate contact from you until then."

"You are cruel."

"No, William, that's respect for your feelings." I said, "If you can't accept it, but you don't refuse it, and let people have hopeless illusions, that's the real cruelty."

One month before Christmas, my mother invited Carl to live in Acton for a few days before returning to the United States.Carl readily agreed and followed us on the train.

When we got back to Acton Manor, Charles, the old butler, and all the respectable servants and servants were standing at the door to greet us.

"Welcome home, master." Charles was full of air, with a standard Oxford accent, and his speech was always tactful and cadenced like singing.

"Thanks, Charles." I nodded to him and said to Carl, "Welcome to bring Acton."

"This is Charles, Acton's butler. His grandparents have been Acton's butlers for generations." I introduced to Carl, "If there is anything wrong with the hospitality, just tell him, and Charles will solve all problems."

"Come on in," said my mother, "everyone is tired from the long train ride. Is lunch ready, Charles?"

"At your command, ma'am."

I personally took Carl to his room before returning to my room to freshen and change.As soon as he put on his shirt, he heard a knock on the door.After buttoning the last few buttons, George stepped forward and opened the door.The mother who had already changed her clothes came in.

"Am I already late?" I asked suspiciously, "But I haven't heard Charles beat the changing gong yet."

"It's true that you haven't knocked yet. You're not too late." The mother stood in the middle of the room, clasped her hands on her chest, "I'm afraid it will be hard for you again, my dear. Carl's first visit to Acton, we should Show him around the castle. Rose was supposed to be the guide, but she doesn't seem too well, so..."

"I'm afraid it's not that she's uncomfortable, but that she doesn't want to." I said a little irritably, "Mom, she is stronger than a cow. According to the last time she really felt unwell, it was probably two years ago."

"Oh," my mother smiled, "you've said everything, then I won't make any excuses. Then, take Karl around the castle after lunch."

"Can I say no, Mom?" I said, "Carl is Rose's fiancé and not mine, and it's not mine to be with Carl as Rose's fiancé. Hours on the train, now I feel sick and want to vomit."

From the day I learned that Carl proposed to Rose, I decided to kill any untimely feelings.But it won't be easy, and it will take time and distance in addition to determination.I can't say that I am a strong-willed person, so I have already thought about it. Before I completely let go of him, I will try my best to avoid personal contact in private except for official business.But I didn't expect that on the first day back to Acton, I would be forced to be alone with Carl, which made me feel an uncontrollable irritability.