[Titanic] I can't help myself

In October 1919, I finally returned to Cambridge to start my second year of university, which was five years late, and I was already 23 years old.

During the war, Cambridge was transformed into a hospital to accept the wounded who returned from the front line. When I returned to school, I could still see many traces of the war, such as some medical equipment that had not been withdrawn in time, and Some classrooms were converted into wards with hospital beds.

Most of the students who took a leave of absence to join the army returned to school this year, and there are familiar figures everywhere. Many of them have come to Acton to recuperate their injuries. With such a relationship, even though it was only general before But when they see me, they will be very enthusiastic.

Since returning to school, there are students who are connecting with each other everywhere.Now the way everyone distinguishes factions is not only the family and the high school they graduated from, but also the troops and battlefields they have served in.People who have shed blood on the same battlefield, even if they didn't know each other before, can turn into old friends who seem to have been with each other for more than ten years in the next second.

At noon on the day of the school opening banquet, Dan, John and I were finally able to stand on the grass as seniors, squeezing around among them like hooligans, pinching their butts, buttocks, or chests maliciously. .This feels very interesting, and I suddenly understand why those seniors like to scare the freshmen like this.

However, these freshmen were not as overwhelmed as we were at the beginning. Most of them were soldiers who had just returned from the battlefield, and some joined the army as soon as they graduated from high school.So I was only complacent for a few minutes before being teased back by my juniors. They whistled in a more flirtatious tone, patted my ass with quick eyes and hands, and then looked condescendingly with their arms folded. I said: "Dear senior, I will entrust you to take care of me for the next four years. Guys, we are really blessed, right!".I rolled my eyes and went back to the lawn to watch the play amidst John's almost breathless laughter.It seems that the technical work of molesting juniors is not something I can master.

When the time came, we huddled on the grass and watched the freshmen who had accumulated for four years rush towards the key point.We booed, booed, whistled sharply, threw the poor last one into the fountain pool, and then went to the student union to collect the wine that the freshmen gave us as a penalty.The comrades-in-arms and classmates who were once served by me with coffee and black tea in my office tent came to my dormitory again, sitting on the clean carpet I cleaned, smoking and chatting, They shared their drinks with each other without any shyness, and they drank until an hour before the start of the dinner before going back to the room to change, leaving behind a carpet of soot and several obvious holes pierced by cigarette butts.

The opening dinner was as solemn as ever, we stood quietly by the benches and waited.Like last year, the dean led the faculty and staff into the auditorium.But this time, when they walked to their seats, the dean did not welcome the new students in Latin as in the past.He cleared his throat, and the first words he spoke were English.

"After four years, I can finally see you here again. I, as well as all the faculty and staff of Trinity College, feel sincerely happy for this. Warriors, welcome back." The elderly dean opened his arms, said with a smile.

After everyone's applause stopped, the dean continued: "But at the same time, we are also very sad to find that half of our classmates will never be here again. They should have left us forever, ahead of all of us. People, reached the side of God. They are all brave and fearless heroes who gave their young lives for the country. I hope that when we finally usher in a rare peace, they will not be forgotten. Please remember these heroes name."

The dean picked up a piece of parchment, and began to use his low voice like a bass, slowly and heavily pronouncing the names one after another.The young masters of these names all died on the battlefield.Every name brought back painful memories. Many people's eyes were red from the first name. At the end, the auditorium was filled with suppressed crying.

Dan and John sat beside me. When the dean read a name, John suddenly trembled violently. Dan immediately patted his quilt, and then hugged his shoulders tightly.

"He died right in front of me." John covered his face, his voice muffled through his fingers, "A bullet directly exploded half of his head, blood and brains splashed on my face ...God, the last second he was smoking a cigarette and joking with me...shit..."

I took a deep breath. At this moment, crying is not a sign of cowards.

"I have sent away too many classmates with my own hands." I slowly took out a handkerchief and wiped my eyes, "Don't forget that I once worked to clean up the war... I really don't want to remember it anymore."

When the lingering sound of the last name disappeared over the auditorium, the dean slowly rolled up the parchment, looking from top to bottom at the students who were completely captured by grief.

"Now, please let us pray for these heroes." The dean said in a deep voice, and the next sentence, he replaced it with Latin: "In Nomiris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti (Heaven above, I by the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit) The name)……"

The burning candles crackled loudly, and even though electric lights had replaced them, they still stood proudly in ancient and expensive silver candlesticks, shaking gently, exuding warmth with the scent of oil.The white flowers decorated on the table are pure and solemn, and the red roses dotted among them are as dazzling as dripping blood.

"Ite, Missaest... Requies catinpace..."

Heavy panting and suppressed sobs followed the dean's prayers continuously.The tears of the devastated man made this reunion night moist and solemn, as if the wings of insects were covered with dew, trapped on the ground and unable to fly.

The long Latin prayer was said for a long time.The uniform "Amen" piled up in the sky above the auditorium, rumbling like thunder, becoming more and more heavy and ethereal.Until the last sound, like a sign, or a farewell to the past.The dead are gone, but the surviving live on.

Everything seems to be slowly trying to return to the calm of four years ago with the end of the war. Everyone picked up those lazy and elegant aristocratic styles again, talking about politics, Congress, social season, manors, and the country More and more harsh treatment for nobles.A lot of people went out of their way to pretend those four years never happened.

But not everyone can successfully change their mentality, and there are still many people who are unable to get out of the past like a nightmare.While the war was still going on, they prayed to God every day to end the nightmare as soon as possible, but when everything ended, they began to be unable to adapt to the sudden peace.

The campus is full of young, lethargic students in military coats that they dye black and walk around in, and it's certainly not because they can't afford a new one.

They seem to be using this method to protect themselves who are incompatible with this suddenly peaceful world without death and blood. The windbreakers dyed black and remade from military coats are like a wall, surrounded by a piece that belongs to them alone Here, they still walk, talk and call each other like a soldier.They refused to call me Earl Richardmond again, but insisted on the title of Major General Bookett, and even saluted me.

And when the night falls, the pain suppressed by the custom-made three-piece suit or the black-stained military coat in their hearts is uncontrollably released.

Every night, I can hear the cries like the howling of a lost wolf.In the corridors of this dormitory building that has stood for hundreds of years and has very poor sound insulation, the painful cries of men echoed through the wooden walls. The corridor floats out of the window, following the footprints of the past and disappearing into the night.

And when the first ray of sunlight in the morning shone into the building tightly wrapped in pain, all the emotions that were indulged and released because of the darkness were immediately wrapped in carefully sewn dresses and worn military coats In the movie, everyone once again put on the mask of too bright smile, or haggard and gloomy, and ran between classrooms, grasslands and libraries.

This is the last gift of war, the almost unhealed scar shared by all those who survived.No matter how much our country has gained in this war, our generation will never be able to get rid of this sorrow piled up with cruel death and fear.

This semester is so busy that I hardly find time to go back to Acton.And every time I go home, I will buy a large piece of land again.The irony is that the war made many people bankrupt, but I made a lot of money, expanding the land, farms and factories several times.My unique situation made me a celebrity in the school, and many people speculated viciously whether I sold my country to make war fortune.But at the same time, more people began to approach me quietly, trying to persuade me to buy their family's manor and land.I only introduced them to Carl and Viscountess Waynes, and asked them to help match the match, and unexpectedly earned a lot of agency fees.

I had John and Dan over to my house for Christmas, for purposes other than officially introducing my friends to the family.The Viscountess Waynes was very interested in August, the author of love novels who guaranteed newspaper sales to a certain extent, and Dan also wanted to meet this female entrepreneur who provided him with a lot of inspiration and ideas.

The author has something to say: Thank you Master Park for the two thunders~

This article will be finished at the end of this month or the beginning of September (I plan like this (⊙v⊙)), and a new article will be opened next Monday~ Although the computer cannot open the new article without the main text, the mobile phone can display it , everyone is welcome to bookmark and come to guide Qizi through mobile devices~ After sending the text, the computer client will be able to open it~ ok~