Self-reliance

The next day Zhou Zui suggested going out for a stroll.

"Kids get bored when they're always at home," he said.

"..."

"Where shall we take him?"

"..."

"How about the playground?" Zhou Zui said again, "Xinxin should like it."

"..."

Ji Qin had only seen something like an amusement park on TV. It seemed that he was spending money to suffer, but he really couldn't understand the fun.

……

——Xinxin is still very small, and most of the toys are not suitable for Xinxin.

There is a carousel for the little ones.

Zhou Zui pushed Ji Qin: "Go and play with him."

Ji Qin frowned there.

Zhou Zui said again: "It's not shameful to be with the child."

"..."

But it was a torture for Ji Qin. He kept going up and down, and Ji Qin felt that he couldn't take it anymore.

After returning to the ground, Zhou Zui took a closer look at Ji Qin, who was already pale.

"Huh?" Zhou Zui asked, "What's wrong with you?"

"..."

"why is it like this?"

"... dizziness." Ji Qin said briefly.

"This will also make you dizzy?" Zhou Zuiqi asked, "Merry-go-round?"

Ji Qin wanted him to shut up.

"Okay." Zhou Zui leaned over and hugged Xinxin, "Is it interesting?"

Xinxin whispered, "Yes."

"Your father is the best father." Zhou Zui smiled and said, "Look at him, he has become like that, so he went with you on the wooden horse."

Xinxin looked at Ji Qin.In fact, he still had a vague understanding of this father.He is still very afraid of Ji Qin, and if he faces Ji Qin alone, he will still feel very uncomfortable.

Then they went to the children's section.

Xinxin seems to like it quite a bit, jumping into the ocean ball and not coming out, just floating up and down there.Then I went to the naughty castle, where there are slides to slide, swings to swing, and holes to drill. Xinxin followed other children and began to enjoy the game.He used to live in a small city with almost no entertainment facilities. This is the first time he has come to such a large children's playground.

Ji Qin stood aside and watched silently.

In the past, Ji Qin had imagined this scene countless times, but now that it has really come true, he feels a little unreal.In the past few years, sometimes Ji Qin would dream of taking Xinxin to the playground. In those dreams, Ji Qin said over and over again: You are back, you are really back... Then, in the morning Woke up and found it was just a dream.Later, in the dream, I would ask myself: Is it fake again?At that time, someone would answer him: Xinxin was indeed found this time.After opening my eyes, in the silent night, recalling the content of the dream, I only felt very sad.The strange thing is that the dreams with Xinxin are all good dreams.

Sometimes he asked himself, when is the head?

There was not a single day that he did not recall about Xinxin, no matter what he usually saw, he would immediately think of Xinxin.In the first few years, he occasionally panicked, telling himself not to think about it anymore, do he want to go on like this for the rest of his life?But people's hearts are out of control, and as time goes by, Ji Qin will just let it go, just think about it, don't pay too much attention to it, thinking has become a habit, and pain has become a habit.

Recently, some people have advised him to turn the page, continue to search, and have another child at the same time, and not to wander forever.Ji Qin knew that there might be a new life waiting for him, as long as he let go and let go a little bit, his mood might be completely different, but he couldn't do it no matter what, and he was afraid that if he let go, he wouldn't be able to pick it up again.Moreover, he felt that this was a punishment for himself. Back then, he accidentally lost Xinxin. Sometimes, a mistake would take a lifetime to pay back.How can I let go and let go?He doesn't deserve it at all, and the retribution is far from over.Ji Qin couldn't forgive himself.He thinks that he is not qualified to have a good life. Sometimes when he temporarily forgets and is happy to see other things, Ji Qin will soon scold himself, Xinxin doesn't know where he is suffering, you are the culprit To be happy here.So, he can't, doesn't want to, and can't.He knew very well that this was a wound that could not be healed no matter how much time was spent.

Even so, for Ji Qin, he is still very grateful to Xinxin for being with him. It was an eternal memory, and there is nothing happier than those days. Although, he also experienced the greatest pain and despair because of it. Will always be with you, but you can't find it in the vast sea of ​​people.However, he didn't know if it was a good thing for Xinxin to come here. He could only hope that Xinxin would live a happy life.Sometimes when someone talks about incompetent parents, Ji Qin immediately thinks of himself.

So he never let go, never gave up, persisted tenaciously, even when he got to the Yellow River, his heart would not die, thinking that even if he could see him again, he would do whatever he wanted.As a result, until now, a miracle actually happened in front of my eyes.

He wanted to double compensate Xinxin.

Xinxin has left the naughty castle and is jumping vigorously on the air cushion trampoline.Some older children next to him can do all kinds of tumbling movements, but Xinxin can't do all of them, just jumping up and down, it seems that this can also make them happy.

Ji Qin felt that Zhou Zui who was next to him suddenly clenched his hand.

He glanced at Zhou Zui.

"Don't show such an expression." Zhou Zui said, "Xinxin will be happy. With the two of us, we can definitely give him a good life."

Ji Qin frowned again: "...what does it have to do with you?"

"I can help you."

"..."

"Hmm..." Zhou Zui said, "For example, when Xin Xin grows older, someone will accompany him to ride something more exciting."

"..."

"...you can't do it?"

"..."

Over there Zhou Zui said thoughtfully again: "I never expected that you are afraid of this... I thought you were not afraid of anything..."

"I will get dizzy!" Ji Qin was angry, "This is beyond my control!"

Ji Qin had never sat down before. He had no one to accompany him when he was young, and he had no one to accompany him when he grew up.

"Okay, okay," Zhou Zui coaxed, "So I said I can help you."

Ji Qin looked at Xinxin, who had already walked out.

Zhou Zui pointed to the Ferris wheel and asked, "Do you want to try that?"

Xinxin looked up and whispered, "Okay."

In front of Ji Qin, he still couldn't let go.