pure white crown

Jiang Xing's smile froze on his face.

The wind and snow poured into the room through the open gap of the window like the howling of a night demon.

In the blink of an eye, the window sill was connected to the ground, full of water from the melted snow.

Jiang Xing really didn't know how to answer Lu Yunkai.

When he clearly knew how talented Lu Yunkai was, when he knew how suitable Lu Yunkai was for acting, when he always thought that Lu Yunkai was the emperor of the entertainment circle no matter what, when he was able to play against the other party When he didn't fall behind the peak at all... when he had already regarded the other party as a friend, or even had some closer feelings.

Lu Yunkai said "I want to quit the entertainment circle".

Really very unexpected, people have not thought of it?

Maybe not, maybe he just has always had an inherent impression of Lu Yunkai from the beginning, even if he really came into contact with this kind of person later, this person is more changeable, more vivid, he is also in this The inherent impression is changeable and vivid.

What about when this person wants to get out of this inherent box—?

Of course, there is no thought of pushing him back.

It's just—just when he walked out, that square frame, the invisible thread woven by countless people, had strangled him to the brim with scars.

Then he stood in front of himself and said to himself: I don't want to go back.

There is no question of choice.

There is always something more serious that overrides personal expectations.

He was just a little sad.

Because he was suspicious, at this time, no matter whether he answered well or not, Lu Yunkai could no longer be happy enough.

So how should I answer?

Jiang Xing asked himself.

Since "not good" is not the correct answer, is the correct answer "good"?

Jiang Xing looked at Lu Yunkai fixedly.

Then very suddenly, very abruptly.

He was thinking: Assuming that there is not one factor that caused Lu Yunkai to be like this now, then is his attitude that seems to be gentle but actually dissociative all the time counted as one of the "factors"?

Every adult should of course be responsible for his own choices.

But a person who is supported by a stroke, a person who is supported by his hands and feet...it is not shameful or unacceptable to take the initiative to help, or to ask for help.

The wind and snow pouring in from the window gradually subsided, but the flames were still beating resolutely, enclosing a warm environment for the people in the house.

The person who just spoke did not wait for his answer, and sat back on the sofa by himself.He stared at the fire ahead, taking in the outlines of the flames and the shape of the stag.The reflection on the lens, like some creature, is being burned by the flames, and is suffering in the flames.

"——Then what do you want to do recently?" Jiang Xing asked at the beginning, his voice covered the sound of the fire, and let the other person's attention turn from the fire to him.

When the person sitting on the sofa raised his head to look at him, Jiang Xing had already continued, and he almost said in one go: "What do you think about traveling around the world to learn how to make desserts? Or start learning to draw—just pour paint onto the canvas The kind that puts together an abstract painting by Picasso? Or—otherwise, invest in a film or something? Or try to be a behind-the-scenes staff and edit a film? Or become a novelist, write a story or something?"

...This seems to be a bit strangely different from the point just now?

Lu Yunkai was a little stunned: "There are so many options?" Although he was half a beat late, he still thought about it according to Jiang Xing's words...

"Because there are so many options?" Jiang Xing said, "If you plan to learn desserts, I am optimistic about your creativity and color matching. I think it is also a good idea to put out a very cute, very appetizing, or very artistic dessert. A very fulfilling thing? And drawing—did I tell you, actually, when I was five years old or a little earlier, my dream was to be a painter, because there was no money to buy a set of comic books? As for investing in a movie and editing it yourself behind the scenes, it’s much easier, actually, I think after making a movie for a long time, more or less there will be such desires or expectations?”

... This makes sense, Lu Yunkai began to think.

Then Jiang Xing suddenly softened his voice: "Why is it so difficult?"

"Ok?"

"Why are you so difficult when you say 'quit from the entertainment industry'?" Jiang Xing asked, and then he said slowly, "It's not just because the entertainment industry brought you tragedy, right? Entering the drama, depression, relatives His death..." Every time he said one, Lu Yunkai's eyes seemed to change. After he finished talking about these three options that directly led to Lu Yunkai wanting to quit the entertainment industry, he paused, and when Lu Yunkai reacted, he Adding, "If that's all it is, you'd expect to be impatient to escape the source of tragedy, as anyone would expect, and so would I."

"Only as long as we've hoped for it—or loved it—"

Jiang Xing looked at Lu Yunkai with such soft eyes.

"It can, it always can, hurt us so easily."

Lu Yunkai lowered his head.

"'Is it your fault that things have developed to this point' I don't think this proposition makes much sense, and I don't think this is what you really pay attention to." Jiang Xing said, "Then 'I'm gone, everything is resolved'' I'm gone and never coming back'..."

"Your embarrassment lies in the fact that the matter cannot be resolved in this way, and you are reluctant to leave like this."

"Probably everyone said that you are talented, and I said so; but did anyone tell you that acting chose you, and you also chose acting?" Jiang Xing asked. He didn't wait for Lu Yunkai to answer, and said, "I I never believed that a person who doesn't like acting or acting casually can give me such extreme oppression and shock from the past to the present—"

"Lu Yunkai." Jiang Xing said, he said with certainty and without hesitation, "You must have no idea how many people love you and all the characters you play on the big screen!"

At some point in the past, Jiang Xing couldn't help but fall on Lu Yunkai's head.

But this time, his hand landed on Lu Yunkai's shoulder without stopping.

He put both hands on the opponent's shoulders, he pressed the opponent hard, half-forced the opponent to look directly at him, and then he looked directly into the opponent's eyes, using the strength of his hands, the power of his eyes and voice , tell the other party——

"So many people like you—"

"I like you too--"

"So many people are fascinated by your character—"

"Me too--"

"It doesn't matter what choice you end up making, whether you leave or don't leave. There's just a little bit of a connection between you and acting—no matter where it is or what it's doing. You love it. , it loves you."

"When you're done with those problems—"

Jiang Xing said firmly:

"It's always waiting for you with open arms."

Even if the severe winter can kill everything, it cannot kill the spring breeze blowing from the south and the grass seeds hidden under the surface.

The fire that has never been extinguished is only waiting for the right opportunity to burn; all the hopes that are gnashing their teeth will rise as soon as they meet the right soil!

The ice that had been covering Lu Yunkai's face seemed to be starting to thaw.

If Lu Yunkai was forced to look at Jiang Xing just now, then he is actively looking at Jiang Xing now.

He tried to make a few expressions as if he hadn't done that for a long time.

Something weird, something stiff.

But he didn't care, and no one cared.

He smiled, took a deep breath, his voice was slightly choked, and he said, "Brother Jiang...you have recently memorized sonnets and drama lines... so you can't speak well?"

Look, the spring breeze is so beautiful.

××××××

Passive recovery is definitely different from active and active recovery.

After that night, Lu Yunkai's mental state has almost returned to the stage when he first entered the show, that is, there will be frequent cognitive impairments, but he can also frequently perceive "self".

As for the depression, it has been effectively controlled with the help of antidepressant drugs and the optimistic character of Lu Yunkai's "self" period.

Even the psychiatrists here are surprised by the improvement of this condition, but there are too many miracles in medicine, and there are too many unknown variables in psychological problems. "This cannot be cured".

Some changes have taken place in the lives of the two of them for the time being. If Lu Yunkai was silent all the time at the beginning, now Lu Yunkai becomes melancholy and silent intermittently, but Lu Yunkai has always been a very restrained person—no Wrong, in the case of depression and self-awareness disorder, he can still restrain himself to only show silence and melancholy. Even if he uses the most stringent international standards to judge, he can only give Lu Yunkai a full score——Jiang Xing doesn't have the feeling of "living under the same roof with a patient", more often, but when Lu Yunkai's cognition is confused, he often just doesn't pay attention to Jiang Xing; but when Lu Yunkai finds it Self, recalling the behavior just now, Lu Yunkai will consciously or unconsciously make some compensations: for example, make the most beautiful dessert for Jiang Xing!

For example, let's have a peak duel with Jiang Xing!

Another example is to do something with Jiang Xing that we can always get together!

And when Lu Yunkai was alone, of course he also had some little secrets that only belonged to him.

For example, Jiang Xing has just arrived in the UK and has not participated in the official drama performances. However, during rehearsals, as a "family member" - a friend, Lu Yunkai can always go to the rehearsal place to watch. Sometimes he will bring a camera, When you see a suitable image, take a picture of it.

Then he will develop these photos, and lock them in a drawer together with the information about Jiang Xing that he has collected before and is still collecting, together with the thick notebook where he will write down his deepest thoughts. inside.

This is a secret that no one else knows, only he will see.

Right now, he's undoubtedly at his best.

His thoughts are clear, his emotions are sharp, he can smell the fragrance of flowers and grass, feel the heat of the sun on his skin, and hear birds and insects that are more subtle than birds.

So he opened the drawer and took out the thick book again.He turned it over, and on the many, many pages behind, there were only random lines, like a tangled yarn; or even twisted and grotesque characters and strokes, even the current Lu Yunkai didn't want to delve into the meaning of his past self.

He turned to a blank page of the notebook, and on it he wrote in black pen: "Mom is dead."

and:

"There are no more words to express my gratitude."

××××××

Everything is on track.

The time has come to the end of January of the year.

Jiang Xing's previous film "Sunset" was nominated for the Golden Globe Award for Best Foreign Language Film.

At the same time, Lu Yunkai's last movie "Intothedark" was also nominated for the Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actor.

The two traveled to the United States to attend the awards ceremony together.