like drinking ice

Zheng Ao is less worrying than a child. I just went to see the child. When I came back, I saw that he had taken a shower, with his pajamas collar open, and his hair was sitting on a chair with wet hair smoking. When he saw me, he laughed: "Xiao Lang Come and blow my hair."

I dried his wet neckline first, and while blowing his hair with a small wind, I whispered to him.

"...I've always been quite worried," I whispered to him, "I'm always afraid that Rui Rui is too smart and will bully Niu Niu."

Zheng Ao hooked the corner of his mouth.

"Ruirui won't." He leaned lazily on the back of the chair: "Ruirui quite likes that child."

What I said was not the kind of bullying that Li Xiu bullied me at the beginning. Ruirui and Niu Niu have been together for so long, and Niu Niu can already be tolerated.I'm just afraid that he will hurt him unscrupulously because Niuniu is now a member of my family.Niu Niu is a simple and honest child who is devoted to his family. Even if his father doesn't take care of him, he still drags a small trailer and sits at the door of the house waiting for his father to come home every day when it is dark.He left in the end because he knew his family didn't want him anymore.

There are hundreds of mentalities in this world, the most taboo is to be confident.

Time is never enough for me.

I originally planned to go back to work after my physical condition stabilized, but because of Niu Niu, I wanted to wait for him to adapt to this place before thinking about work. As a result, it was almost Chinese New Year and Li Xiu was back. Urging me to take Ruirui over for dinner, I simply brought Niu Niu Zheng Ao over.

The Li family is always the same.

A happy home always makes people feel like they want to stay. It seems that everything is stable and lazy here. There is nothing to be anxious or angry. You can sit on the balcony with nothing to do, bask in the sun, and wait Grab lunch, or simply find a cozy corner to while away an afternoon.

But this is not my home after all.

Both Ruirui and Niu Niu came here for the first time, especially Niu Niu. He was not yet stable in Beijing and was brought to such a big place. He was at a loss for a while.It was snowing outside, and Niu Niu was heavier than Rui Rui. It was a bit difficult for me to hold it up. Zheng Ao volunteered to help me hug him, and squeezed Niu Niu's belly: "It's really strong."

Niu Niu is very embarrassed. He is the same as Rui Rui. He is wearing a down jacket, a furry collar, and a white fur hat. I always feel like they are long lost brothers.

My dad stayed at home for a while, he was much more energetic, and he was still cooking. The two fathers and sons of the Li family were standing by the side like the two door gods. Zheng Ao and Li Xiu were not at odds, so they found someone to laugh at when Li Zhurong was not around. He: "Frozen your brain in the Northeast? You don't say hello when you see guests."

Li Xiu stayed in the Northeast for so long, but his temper did not improve at all, and he still confronted Zheng Ao tit for tat: "I only greet guests, not idiots."

Zheng Ao smiled happily: "Hey, changed to a personal attack? What about your family, Lu Jiaming, why did you leave you alone, ask your brother to watch, how can you bear to show your affection..."

Li Xiu gave him a disgusted look, as if he was too lazy to talk to him: "It's only meat when you eat it, showing off now can only show that you are guilty."

It was rare for Li Xiu to be so calm, and Zheng Ao was also aroused to be competitive. The level of bickering between the two was similar to that of when they were young, and they looked very childish. I was afraid that Ruirui and Niu Niu would imitate the bad, so I took them to the living room to play.My dad reads on the sofa. He likes children, so he is very happy to be surrounded by Ruirui and Niu Niu. Niu Niu didn’t eat enough for breakfast. Li’s family eats more Western food, so they didn’t prepare any desserts. Fortunately, the kitchen baked apple pie , I cut it up with a knife and fed it to Niu Niu. Ruirui was not interested at all, so she sat and flipped through my dad's book.

My dad likes children very much, but unfortunately the Li family is also a single family now, very deserted.He especially likes Niu Niu. Although Niu Niu can't read, he still touches Niu Niu's head and teaches him to recite poems.

When Zheng Ao was called to the study by Li Zhurong, I ran into Li Xiu outside the greenhouse.

Li's roses are well-known, and many of them are not allowed to breed without permission. But last time, my dad didn't know whether he was instructed by Lu Jiaming or someone else, so he cut two branches and cut them, and they survived. It was only reminded by the gardener that it is impossible to strangle it, so it can only be kept in the greenhouse.Now that he is going to the south, he wants to raise the flowers for me.

Li Xiu stayed there for a while, and his temper seemed to be better. It has been an hour since he met Zheng Ao and he still hasn't started a fight, which is considered a rare improvement.

When he saw me, he didn't speak to me, and just stood still outside the greenhouse. The Li family was born to wear uniforms. His overcoat was a bit like military uniform, and he looked very handsome in it.In fact, it’s hard to say clearly about the matter between us. When he sent me away from Beijing three years ago, he wanted to make up with him, but I didn’t respond. He is a proud person, so he didn’t mention it again. .

I greeted him first: "I'm back."

Li Xiu nodded, coughed, as if he didn't know what to say, and gave a heavy "hmm".

"Let me come and see the flowers that Dad planted." I told him.

He stepped aside a little and pushed the flower room door for me.

The greenhouse is a glass greenhouse, and now the winter is short of sunshine, the felt covering the greenhouse for heat preservation is lifted.The gardener of the Li family prefers those flowers that bloom brilliantly, some of which are even a little too bright, such as poppies, poppies, petunias blooming brilliantly, other shore flowers..., there are large clusters and large clusters, and I plant them in a large pot The roses were found next to the red poppies.My dad is not very good at growing flowers. The roses grow very poorly. One tree bloomed a flower smaller than the rose.

I picked up the scissors that the gardener put on the shelf and trimmed the roses. Li Xiu has been standing at the door of the flower room, and I don't know when he walked in.

"Do you know how to grow flowers?" He asked me.

"Well, I wanted to raise them before, but I never had the time." I told him, "Dad said he was going to the south, and asked me to help him grow some flowers."

He didn't speak, probably because he didn't expect that besides Lu Jiaming, there are people in this world who like to grow flowers.

I lined up a few roses, looked at the gardener's fertilizer and tools, and prepared to buy some according to them. Li Xiu stood by and looked at me, and suddenly asked: "Are you deciding to be with Zheng Ao now?" gone?"

I looked at him a little surprised.

But he has always been a straightforward person, so it is not surprising to ask such a question.

"That's right." I replied.

"What do you mean?" Li Yao was very upset: "Yes, yes, yes, no, he dares to force you to fail! If there is anything wrong, just tell us..."

The "we" he said was actually only him.On my father's side, I would rather die than be disturbed. Li Zhurong and I are almost strangers. The only one who has been trying to support me is Li Xiu.

But I can only appreciate this kindness.

"There's nothing wrong with it." I explained to him like this: "Both Zheng Ao and I made mistakes in the past, and now both of us are slowly repairing it, so it will gradually get better."

Li Xiu's expression was still not very happy, and he said: "It's better to be like this, otherwise I'll beat that bastard Zheng Ao to death."

I smiled and thanked him: "Thank you."

He didn't look very comfortable, but he didn't back out, but stood by with his arms folded.

After a while he asked again, "Where did you take the alpaca I gave you?"

I sent that alpaca to Luo Xi’s farm and asked him to raise it for me. Who knew it lasted for three years. I forgot to ask last time I passed by. I don’t know how it is doing there. They all have fresh grass to eat, and they should be in a good mood.

"I asked a friend to help me raise it. I will call him in two days and ask about it." I told him.

Li Xiu didn't ask any more questions, but he still didn't leave. He stood beside him like a door god. His face was exactly like Li Zhurong's, only brighter and brighter, very handsome.The personality is also similar, if he hides a word in his heart, he would rather die than say it.

If I don't say it, he can probably endure it for a lifetime.

I knew he wanted to shake my hand and make peace.

My dad said he regarded me as a family member. I didn't believe it at first, but gradually I believed it.But he has such a character, he would rather do a hundred things for you than say a word, not to mention that I didn't respond to him at the beginning. With such a proud character, he will not take the initiative to say anything.Unless I say it.

But I'm not going to say it.

Some things have to be taken slowly.

In the past, I always forced myself to endure what I could bear and what I couldn’t bear, and I demanded that I not say a word, don’t care, don’t talk, don’t fight or grab, I think this is the most decent and proud gesture.

But later I realized that I am not a saint.I just put up with it, it's not that I don't care about it, I can't learn my father's calmness, it's just my own internal injury, it's better to say it, to blame, to punish, than to suffer alone.

I always have to pass this level.

It's not a shame to like someone, and it's not a shame to love someone unrequitedly. Everyone should like someone.The beginning of love, smiling and paying attention, this is the best emotion in the world.It's not shameful that he doesn't like me, and it's not my failure that he plays games in the world.I gritted my teeth and swallowed the ice, not because I was not decent enough, but because I liked him.

There's no shame in caring, minding, watching, wanting his attention and love.If I take the initiative to ask for it and discuss it with him, it is because I want to have a future with him, not because I have lost my self-esteem, not because I have lost my principles.

Love itself makes people unable to control themselves.

Just like how Ye Susu likes Li Xiu, if you like it, say it, fight for it, and stop if you can't get it, even if you have regrets, everything is open and natural, and after a long time, you will eventually forget it.Speaking of it ten or twenty years later, it is just a matter of the past.

How good.

I forced myself to restrain, to hide, and pretended to swallow the cold icy balls as if nothing had happened. I looked calm on the outside, but my heart was riddled with holes.I wanted to leave, but my heart was walking towards him uncontrollably, the wound healed and was torn open again, day after day, forever, he became my demon in the end.

I was too sensible when I was a child, which is not a good thing. Children are actually very powerful. They have a natural healing power, and this world is extremely novel to them.Every day brings countless new pleasures to make them forget the hurt they suffered yesterday.Because of my childhood circumstances, I lost this ability prematurely. I remember what should be forgotten and what should not be forgotten.Pressing on me, I can't find my direction.

But I have to learn to let go after all.

Childhood has affected me for 20 years, and I cannot be affected for another lifetime.

When I had trimmed all the roses and was about to research the species of the beautiful red flowers in the greenhouse, Zheng Ao came to me.

"What are you doing!" He put his arms around my waist as soon as he came up: "I want to get beaten up while I'm not molesting my Xiao Lang..."

Li Xiu was not in a good mood, so he walked away without paying attention to him, I glanced at Zheng Ao, I don't know what Li Zhurong said to him, he was smiling all over his face, and leaned over: "Xiao Lang."

"What are you planning again?"

"No." He smiled and said, "Let's go there, dinner is about to start."

On the way back, I passed by the balcony where I sat and saw him fighting with Li Xiu. I glanced thoughtfully, and his arms around my waist tightened.

In fact, I also found out when I came back this time, he smiled more than before, just like his father.Although I didn't understand these things very well when I was young, I also knew that Zheng Yehu, who was smiling all day long, was not a good person. Children have this instinct.

He is used to hiding his emotions with a smile, probably because he is so good-looking, a smile diverts people's attention, and there is no time to think about what is hidden behind his smile.

But when he looks at me now, I always feel that no matter how beautiful his smile is, as long as I stretch out my hand, I can touch his heart.

If there was anything that made me finally decide to give him a chance, it would be this feeling.

I am not heartless.

True and false, I actually understand.Probably because I used to like someone so heart and soul, so I feel more and more that I should not ruin anyone's heart, no matter what he has done before, but who he is.

"Do you remember?" When I walked past the balcony, I suddenly said, "This place..."

Zheng Ao still had a little smile on his mouth, looking at me.He didn't interrupt me, he didn't retort, he didn't even beg for mercy with his eyes.He just looked at me, tenderly, even a little forgiving.

I know that if I want to hurt this person named Zheng Ao at this moment, I can do it with one sentence. To like someone is to hold out my heart, defenseless, and let others slaughter me.

but I do not have.

I said, "This place, we used to talk here... When I was a teenager, it was my dad's birthday..."

That day he covered my mouth and was here with me listening to Li Zhurong talking to my dad. He held a cigarette in his hand. At that time, his hair was longer than now, his personality was more presumptuous than now, and his eyes were full of no one. Be able to restrain the misconduct.

At that time, I thought, maybe this person and I will never be together in this life.He has his life, I have mine, he never knew in his life, I used to like him so much.

This is where it started and where it hurts the most.

But if there must be an end, I don't want it to be here.

There are still many places we haven’t been to. As he said, Ili has a beautiful sea of ​​flowers, Bijie has a hundred miles of rhododendrons in full bloom, Iceland’s aurora is so bright, and Tekapo’s starry sky makes people forget their names... …

He said that we are a family of three, and that he would take a look at these places with us one by one.

But now it is not a family of three.

You should be able to go too.

Zheng Ao didn't speak.

He just leaned over, put his arms around my shoulders, and kissed me.

My eyes floated upwards, the gray sky, countless snowflakes falling, and then upwards, it was air, sunshine, the sun was still hidden in the sky, it had seen Xu Lang when he was a child, his fear, his loneliness I have seen his favorite friend named Zheng Ao, I have seen him carrying a schoolbag alone on the road outside the school, I have seen his tossing and turning struggles, and those long dark nights that can only be spent alone. He has walked alone through sunny days, rainy days, adulthood, and snow all over the city, and finally saw today.

The broad-leaved tree that watched me grow up has lost all its leaves, and the black branches are covered with snow. In the coming year, the spring will be warm and the sun will be warm, and there will be another round of March flowers in the world.