like drinking ice

The butler was probably afraid that his wound would leave scars, so the dishes on the table were very light. I sat opposite him, made some rice with soup, and finished it quickly.He kept his head down and didn't speak.

When I got up, he suddenly reached out and grabbed my arm.

I didn't take it back.

We were deadlocked for a while, and he suddenly called out: "Xiao Lang."

His voice was low, a little tired, like a balloon that could burst with a light poke, and there were stories in it.

Too bad I don't want to hear his story anymore.

I said, "Don't call me that, I'm not your Xiao Lang."

I have insomnia at night.

In the early morning, I was still looking at the ceiling with my eyes open. He had fallen asleep and was still holding me habitually. I turned my head and saw him sleeping peacefully. I reached out and stroked his hair.

I used to comfort him like this.

I didn't fall asleep until early in the morning, but fortunately, the housekeeper never woke me up and let me wake up naturally.I fell asleep until morning, feeling the sun shining on my body.Suddenly, I felt someone calling my name softly: "Mr. Xu, Mr. Xu..."

I opened my eyes in a half-dream and half-awake state, and saw Zheng Ao standing next to me, talking to the butler next to me, Zheng Ao was behind the light, I couldn't see the expression on his face, only saw the butler's face like a bitter melon, anyway, he always It's all like this, and I don't find it strange.

Seeing that I woke up, the butler withdrew.

I just wonder why Zheng Ao didn't go to work at this time.He stood beside my bed without saying a word, and I slowly got up and dressed myself.

His cell phone rang suddenly.

He picked it up, glanced at the screen, saw his expression almost cruel, and handed me the phone.

I just woke up, and I was still a little dazed, so I took it and put it in my ear.

There came my dad's voice.

"Is it Zheng Ao?"

A hundred kinds of emotions surged up in my heart, anxious and angry. I don't know why my dad got the news so quickly after being told to do so. Why can't Li Zhurong hide this?With my father's physical condition, if he knew the ins and outs of the matter, he might be very angry.

"Are you listening? Zheng Ao," my dad was still asking, "Can Xiao Lang answer the phone?"

I glanced at Zheng Ao.

"Dad, I'm Xiao Lang."

My dad's tone suddenly became anxious: "Xiao Lang, are you right in Zheng's house? Xiaoan told me that you were detained by Zheng Ao in Zheng's house, and you were not allowed to come back. Did you have any conflicts? Did he treat you well? "

"No, Dad, I'm the one who wants to live in his house." I lied almost instinctively.

My dad was silent for a while.

"He is engaged to Ye Susu, is that what you want?"

I was speechless at this sentence.

My dad was also silent for a while.

Then he asked me: "Xiao Lang, do you always feel that Dad doesn't care about you?"

"No, Dad is very good to me."

Back then, Lu Feixia taught me that crying children have candies, not that adults like children to cry, but that if you don’t cry, how will others know that you are wronged, and if you don’t say you want it, how will others know that you want candies.

But I don't want to.

I don't want to ask for anything, grab it, ask for it, even if I can really get what I want, it's not what others are willing to give.Just like I never asked Zheng Ao to like me.Love this kind of thing, whether it is from your father or your lover, you have to give it willingly. If he loves you, he will naturally give it to you. What's the point of grabbing it if he doesn't love you?I don't want a cent of what I snatched, what I begged for.Whether it is hypocritical or arrogant, this is something in my bones, and it will not change in my life.Even if you want to die, you will never say a word.

My dad was silent for a while, and then said: "Xiao Lang, don't worry, dad will let you go home. No one can detain you. If Li Zhurong doesn't pick you up, I will pick you up myself."

He is already called Li Zhurong by name and surname, so one can imagine what the Li family is like now.

I said: "It's okay, I'm actually very good here, very comfortable, and I like Zheng Ao, Dad, don't think I'm having a bad time, don't worry, just think I'm going on a trip."

My dad couldn't listen anymore and hung up the phone in a hurry.

My dad used to be worried about my relationship with Li Xiu, and helped us in every possible way. He didn't know, I didn't blame Li Xiu, nor did I hate Li Xiu, I just would never accept him again.

I will not accept anyone from the Li family.

But only my dad, I can't alienate him.

I don't want him to quarrel with Li Zhurong, maybe it's because he's been locked up for a long time, and now I'm getting more and more pessimistic about human nature.I was afraid that there would be a rift between him and Li Zhurong, so I did what my grandma said.And now I'm locked up in Zheng's house, and he only has Li Zhurong.

After hanging up the phone, I looked up at Zheng Ao.

He also looked at me.

The clouds outside covered the sun, the light from the window was not so bright, I could see his face clearly, I just sat cross-legged on the bed like this, looking up into his eyes.

I said, "Zheng Ao, do you still want to lock me up now?"

He doesn't speak.

I said: "Zheng Ao, you always think I have a good temper, so do you know how a good-tempered person retaliates? I'm actually thinking these days, I'm not capable, I'm just an ordinary person, you want to lock me up, you want to Seeing me and sleeping on the same bed with me are all helpless. But at least there is one thing in this world that belongs to me completely, even if you are the king of heaven, I can't control it. "

I lowered my head and opened the neckline of my pajamas. I haven’t seen the sun for a long time. My skin was so pale that I pointed my finger at my left chest and told him: “Look, this is my heart. You have never seen it again in your life. Qualifications to enter here."

Not all injuries can be forgiven, because the one who was hurt is not the current me, and I am not qualified to forgive on his behalf.Even though I now have an open mind and a calm personality, the me back then, perhaps because of this injury, lived in the haze that covered the sky and the sun, and I couldn't see a little hope.

I live in this world, but an ordinary person.My personal freedom may not be up to me. If others hurt me, I may not be able to fight back, but I can decide my own heart.I cut them out of my heart, gouged out all traces, and then never let them in again in this life.Even if I have to be imprisoned here for the rest of my life, even if I get sick, die, and sleep with Zheng Ao, I won't have him in my heart anymore.In my heart, there is always a person looking at him coldly, as if treating a stranger.

Zheng Ao raised his hand, but he didn't touch me.

He said, "What if I fell in love with you?"

I laughed happily as if I heard the funniest joke.

I said, "Zheng Ao, have you heard the story of the wolf coming?"

For the first time, I will be your friend, take care of you wholeheartedly, and be willing to be the background at your wedding ceremony.You used me.

The second time, I gave you a chance to be forgiven, but you used it lightly and said you wanted to associate with me.In the end, you told me yourself that you don't love me, but you can get along with me.It turns out that I love you, and I can only get a qualification to accompany you.

For the third time, I beg you not to lock me up, don't ruin my work and life, you said you only want me, you crushed my whole life to pieces for your comfort.

Jesus can only change the left cheek for the right one after the slap. Where can I get the fourth face for you to slap?

But Zheng Ao was unmoved.

He said: "You haven't answered me yet, what will happen to you if I fall in love with you?"

I looked at him with a smile.

"Zheng Ao, if you fall in love with me, it's not what will happen to me, but what will happen to you."

"What do you mean?" he asked me.

"Do you think you deserve to talk about love?" I asked him, "Do you really know what love is?"

Love is tolerance, understanding, and putting that person's feelings above your own. If you love someone, you will not imprison him or hurt him. You will confess him, just like you treat your beliefs. You yourself are not allowed to profane.If you really loved me, even if you liked me a little bit, you wouldn't treat me like this.

He said: "There are thousands of kinds of love."

"You are wrong. There are thousands of kinds of hurt." I told him, "There is only one kind of love. When you see it, you will understand."

Because this kind of love is enough to tolerate thousands of kinds of injuries, a little bit of it is polished and consumed, like chalk after writing, even if it fills the entire wall, it can never be restored.

Zheng Ao didn't speak any more.

At the beginning, Zheng Yehu said that the Zheng family was smart, but in fact it was just seeing people bullying, and he must squeeze out the last bit of tolerance from those who love them, and finally kill themselves.He is like this, and so is his son. It is really an ancestral handicraft, and outsiders can't learn it.

After he left, I told him: "Li Xiu told my dad, next time he hits you, you can give him two more punches."

Wang Xian came to see me in the afternoon.

I don’t know if the butler has noticed that she often sneaks up to look for me. Anyway, the butler is not there when she comes to see me every day. Of course, the butler may know about this and acquiesce, because he is afraid that I will be driven crazy if I stay alone for a long time. .

But Wang Xian, like me, is a person with no hobbies. She doesn't know whether she was entrusted by Ye Susu or what, and she even has to do her homework here. I also study science, and my grades are not bad, but I like reading extracurricular books a little bit.

I asked her what's new lately.

She said it was no big deal, the position of the Guan family was replaced by the Long family, that family and the Guan family were feuds, and even those who survived the Guan family were killed during the ten-year catastrophe.In addition, Zhou Xun and Ye Lanzi had a quarrel, and Li Xiu was beaten up by Li Zhurong.

I actually don't understand why Li Xiu told my dad. With his temper, he might think that my life here was too miserable, and Li Zhurong didn't put a lot of pressure on Zheng Ao, so he sued my dad in a fit of anger.But with his filial piety to my dad, he wouldn't do such a thing.

But I can understand why Zhou Xun and Ye Lanzi quarreled.

From Ye Susu's body, one can see the shadow of Ye Lanzi to some extent. She and Zhou Xun's engagement is mainly for the sake of the family. The Zhou family has always kept a low profile and never got involved in other things, and they are dedicated to joining the army.This cooperation with the Zheng family was probably Ye Lanzi's idea. She wanted to tie the Ye family and the Zhou and Zheng families into an iron triangle through marriage and business, so that even if his father wanted to "dote on his concubine and destroy his wife", he would have to Weigh it.

But this matter is harmful to the Zhou family, but not beneficial.A big family like theirs, as long as they don't get involved in these messy things and concentrate on being the pillars of the country, there will be no catastrophe.At this point, the amount of benefits is no longer in their consideration, the long-term survival of the family and the cultivation of excellent nephews are the top priority.

But Zhou Xun loved her, and even indulged her sister so much that Ye Susu called him "Zhou Mutou!"

During the New Year's greetings at Xia's family, I saw the way Zhou Xun looked at Ye Lanzi.

It was a look of love.

Zhou Xun is not stupid, his brain is no worse than Li Xiu's, he can see Ye Lanzi's thoughts clearly, he is just pampering her.It's just that people's hearts are not enough, and there are always times when they can't be tolerated.

If nothing else, I just ask Guan Ying.

"I read the news, it seems that something happened to the Guan family again," I asked Wang Xian, "How is Zheng Ao's grandma?"

"Grandma Zheng's attitude is a bit strange." Wang Xian said: "She doesn't want to see Zheng Ao, but she handed over all the power to him."

That's what makes her great.

She hates Zheng Ao, but cares about the survival of the Zheng family. Zheng Ao is now the only descendant of the Zheng family. Whether she supports him or not, she can't really deal with him.So she only hurt Zheng Ao in words and actions, but never restricted him in power.

Beijing called her Wu Zetian, she was always better than Wu Zetian, she didn't let her relatives replace the Zheng family, at best she was just a Empress Lu, and she hadn't made it yet.

I tore out a page from the book and wrote a phone number on it.

"Wang Xian, do me a favor."

"What's the matter?" Wang Xian was familiar with me, and dared to raise his eyes to meet my gaze.

"You make this call for me. Remember, if you want to make a call when you are alone, just say that you are Xu Lang's friend, and ask the owner of this number what she wanted to tell me last time, and tell me her answer .” I asked her, “Can you do it?”

Wang Xian nodded solemnly.

She probably thought I was plotting something, and told me mysteriously: "Actually, I can help with other things. I have a gun at home."

I laughed and reached out to pat her head.

She blushed.

"It's not that exaggerated," I told her. "I'm just locked up here, not for the rest of my life. I don't need a gun."

In fact, Wang Xian is right, I am indeed plotting something.

Probably because I grew up in Li's family, I almost understood without a teacher that the most powerful weapon in the world has never been a gun.

but the heart.

There are so many families in Beijing, Xia Lizheng, Wang Yehe, and Zhou Jianing's family. The interpersonal relationships are intricate and intertwined into a web, one ebbs and another, and each other hinders each other. Whoever can find the main thread of this web will be able to truly master this small family. World rules of the game.

I always didn't think about these things before, because I knew that I didn't belong to this world, my world was outside, and I wanted to be an ordinary person who had a better life.

It's a pity that Zheng Ao didn't agree.

He is walking a tightrope now, and the project in hand is still being laid. The scene is so big that he swallowed all the orders in the hands of the Xia family by himself, and it does not know how many people's interests have been violated.Internal and external troubles, besieged on all sides, he dared to lock me in his house in his busy schedule.

Probably he thinks I'm just a bland, harmless piece of shit.

Unfortunately I am not.

There is still a long way to go, and I still have a lot of time. I can take my time, sort out all the relationships one by one, and then peel off the cocoons, find the weakest point, and get out. From now on, the sea is wide and the sky is high Let the birds fly.

I don't need Li Zhurong, Li Xiu, or Luo Xi.

I can be on my own.

Because I am very patient and I have a lot of time.

I could spend my whole life.