like drinking ice

"looking at what."

I knew it was him without looking back.

Even though I knew he came out because he was bored, he didn't come to me on purpose.But at this moment, the moonlight is so bright, the white peony is as white as snow, so beautiful, they are playing cards and chatting in the room, and drinking a glass of Japanese sake makes people slightly tipsy.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Xiao Ao, have you thought about it?"

"What are you thinking?" He asked me back, smiling so beautifully, a born prodigal son.

"Find someone you really like," I looked into his eyes: "Stop trading things like this again, have a good relationship and settle down."

Before I finished speaking, I knew I was wrong.

He is still laughing, these words are just a light advice to him, he can easily resolve it without even thinking for a second.

"I can't find someone I like." He sighed with ease: "It's much easier to find someone to sleep with than someone I like."

Those slightly drunk and charming emotions in my mind receded little by little, like a beach after low tide, like a plain covered with heavy snow, empty and chilly, and I woke up almost instantly.

What am I doing?It was just a glass of sake, and he almost did something out of control.

These years, the reason why I can live fairly well is not because of my self-control, don't show it, don't ask, even if you lose, even if you have nothing, you have to treat it calmly, as if you never wanted it.

That way no one feels guilty and the scene isn't too ugly.

The courtyard seemed to become cold instantly, with a slight breeze, the shadow of the maple tree shook, and I hugged my arms tightly.

"It's windy, let's go in."

Without waiting for his answer, I walked past him and squeezed into the Japanese room. When I passed by, it seemed that something was struggling and roaring in my heart, but it was tightly locked in the cage.

There is a beast in my heart, Xiao Ao.

I can't let him out, it would tear apart the present peace and harmony.I can't get too close to you, you will hear the roar of the beast, you will see its claws, you will be surprised, you will feel guilty, and then everything will be ruined.

I know that there are many people who play with you, but you don't have many friends.

I'll be the safest one, not always there, but always here.Come as long as you want, and I will do my best to entertain you.Until the day you don't need me anymore.

But I will never tell you that I once loved you.

After playing for most of the night, we left at four o'clock in the morning, and I took Zheng Ao's car back.

I thought he would bring Shakira back, but I didn’t expect Shakira to go to Wang Lang’s house to play with his sister. This girl is very smart, unlike the female student from R University last time, she is obviously not free and easy enough to have a one-night stand, but it probably is. I liked Zheng Ao so much that I slept with him.

It is said that American girls are open. In fact, because of their early sex education, they know their bodies very well. Even if they are open, they understand the consequences.However, some little girls in China don't understand the relationship between men and women at all, so they go to bed for no reason, do stupid things, and cause irreparable damage to their bodies.I ran with Lawyer Su and met some seniors who were committed to popularizing sex education in Chinese colleges and universities. Although they worked hard, they were often not understood. They were even attacked by their parents as promoting puppy love and promiscuous sex. But they are really Do something useful to society.So I have been preparing to serve as their legal advisor just like Lawyer Su.

Of course, I have to become good enough myself. I am not a real lawyer yet, I can only be regarded as a legal practitioner.

The car passed by Houhai, and the place was still very lively at four o'clock in the morning. The sun was about to rise, and the sun shone on the water with sparkling waves.

I turned my head to look at Zheng Ao, he was driving, his lips were pursed, and he looked serious from the side.

"Sleepy?" I asked him.

He shook his head and just smiled.

The light in the early morning lit up little by little, inexplicably making people feel that everything was revived and sleepiness was gone.The place I rented was very quiet in the early morning. After all, the upstairs hadn’t started construction yet. I turned on the corridor lights and looked back at Zheng Ao.

He got out of the car.

"I'll sleep with you all night, I'm too lazy to go back." In the faint morning light, he stretched.

I hesitated.

"Ok."

Probably because I was really tired, and I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Zhang Luo found pajamas for him, barely boiled water, and prepared to make him a glass of milk. Looking back, he fell asleep on the sofa.With such a tall figure, curled up on the sofa, he feels a little wronged for no reason, and there is no sign of domineering when he is awake.I couldn't move him, so I reluctantly closed the curtains, put the water cup on the coffee table, and turned on the landscape lights, fearing that he would wake up thirsty and find no water to drink.

Within 3 minutes of falling down, I fell asleep.In the dimness, someone crawled onto my bed, probably because the sofa was too difficult to sleep on, so they crawled over and squeezed a bed with me. I don’t know if it’s because the bed is too small or because of my sleeping habits. They stretched out their arms and hugged me, and even put their feet on my bed. Body, muttered in a low voice, "Xiao Lang."

I fell into a drowsy sleep, struggling really hard, and before I fell asleep again, I had only one thought: I finally knew why he turned down the air conditioner so low... because it was really, too hot to sleep with him.

After sleeping for three hours, I was woken up on time by the sound from upstairs. I don’t know if it was digging the wall or what, the sound was sharp and penetrating.When I was woken up, I was still in a daze, but the person sleeping next to me was also disturbed by the sound, and immediately stretched out his hand to drag the quilt over his head in annoyance.

After being teased by him like this, I became completely awake, found my own soundproof earplugs, and put them on for him.He couldn't sleep well, I grabbed his chin to put earplugs on him, he tossed and turned, and finally grabbed my face into the pillow with a backhand.

Fortunately, the earplugs have been put on for him.

I meditated on the pillow for a while, and the chiseling became more exciting upstairs, and the sound seemed to be chiseling my skull.The brain was too sleepy, I didn't want to move, and I couldn't fall asleep, so I had to turn my face to watch him sleep.

I haven't seen such an undefended expression on his face for a long time. I'm reading, and he's hugging a dude in front of me. We rarely see each other.

But I know he's not having a good time.

When Li Xiu was young, he scolded him for not being his own, but he was actually scolding me.

Because he is actually his own.

It's just that his father doesn't recognize him. Outsiders claim to be an adopted nephew, and outsiders will naturally know whether he will take it seriously, but he has to grow up in such a lie.

He liked me a lot when I was a kid, and I liked him a lot too.

He always calls me Xiao Lang, but I am actually older than him.

When I was young, I was very honest. The only habit I had that was not so honest was that I liked to hide and climb to places where no one else could find me. The higher the better, I hid.I shared with him one by one the "private territories" that I avoided.When he stayed at Li's house, we sneaked out of the bedroom together in the middle of the night, climbed to the balcony of the abandoned study on the third floor, and watched the moonlight.It was very cold in the middle of the night, and there was only one blanket. We wrapped each other up and sat quietly until dawn without saying anything.

At that time, my greatest wish was that one day I could become strong enough, very strong, to protect him like he protected me. I wanted to keep climbing until I found a place, like in a fairy tale. The tree holes where children hide, the rocky mountains where swans rest in the ocean, or the caves of evil dragons, we can hide in them and watch the moonlight that never dawns for a night.

But before I had a thousandth of that dream come true, he was used to life down there.

He seems to be living a good life, the car is dusty, the front is hugging, and the person in his arms is picturesque.His life is wonderful, extravagant, casual and comfortable.

I don't know when it started, I can't see him through.

The morning sun shone in, and he buried his face sideways in the pillow, frowning slightly.

I raised my hand, but couldn't put it down.

At this moment, there seems to be some kind of magic power, some secret thoughts are rising in my heart, soaking the beach little by little, destroying the castle.There is a voice in your heart that says no matter what you do, he won't know.

With half a centimeter of air, I carefully traced his outline.

From the forehead, to the tip of the nose, to the corners of the lips.

Slowly, take care.

I knew he couldn't hear it, so I dared to speak.

"If one day, Xiao Ao," I whispered to him, "If one day, you feel unhappy, you must tell me."

I'm sorry, I'm too stupid, I'm not a genius, I don't have the natural intelligence and awareness of people's hearts that belong to your class like you and Li Xiu.I can't understand whether you are forcing a smile behind your mask, and I can't know what the sentence you didn't say in your heart is, so you must tell me, tell me how to make you happy, whether it is staying Be a reliable friend by your side, or be the one who makes you feel safe to fall asleep next to him.I will go through thick and thin and go through fire and water.

Only in this way can I repay the countless long midnights and cold dawns that you spent with me many, many years ago.