like drinking ice

"Xiao Lang." He chased after me all the way.

Outside the bathroom is the corridor outside the bar, leading to the emergency exit, with glass frames embedded in the walls, and water pipes for fire fighting inside.

I kept walking out of sight of the people on the couch.

Zheng Ao probably thought I was going to run, and the more I chased, the closer he was, and he was about to reach out and grab me. I stood still, and turned to him: "Just talk here."

Wherever that man settles emotional entanglements is a weird scene, and the past with him has made me sick, and there's no need for a perfect ending at the urinal in the men's bathroom.

He probably thought that I would run out of control when he saw him. He couldn't listen to him, and he was ready to persuade me to calm down. My reaction was a bit out of his expectation.But he is Zheng Ao after all, and he quickly regained his status.

"Xiao Lang, as long as you still want to talk to me."

"Don't elevate yourself." I reminded him, "I just want to solve it once."

He froze for a moment.

People are like this, they have inertia.If it was Li Xiu, the two of them would have been fighting each other until their heads were bleeding, but I stabbed him, and he couldn't react for a long time.

You can see how good I was to him before.

"Let's open the skylight and tell the truth, and no one should pretend to have amnesia." My tone was already cold, but my hands under the sweater were trembling uncontrollably.I forced myself to raise my head and look straight into his eyes: "Zheng Ao, ask yourself, after you have played with me for so many years, will I have any relationship with you again?"

He was standing right in front of me, still the person I had been infatuated with, even in such a disadvantaged situation, he could still put on an elegant and calm look.Under such a beautiful skin, there is such a dirty heart.

He pursed his lips, the corners of his mouth were naturally turned up, he was born to be happy and smooth all his life, perfect.

He looked into my eyes, with a little panic in his eyes: "Xiao Lang, you know that's not what I meant."

I took a step back.

"Don't explain, let's show respect to each other." The draft blew, my back was as cold as ice, and my anger seemed to be turned into ashes, and the only thing left was the sadness in my heart. I took another step back : "Please, Zheng Ao, because I have been with you for so many years, don't lie to me again. It's disgusting."

Just like, for the stupid, unrelenting, and ultimately bloody love that I have paid for all these years.

As if, for those two dead children who used to sit together and watch the moonlight all night.

Save some decency.

Don't get them dirty.

Maybe it was because my expression was too pitiful, or maybe my tone was too painful, his eyes seemed to be pierced by an awl, and endless sorrow suddenly poured out.He just looked at me sadly, as if he wanted to say countless things to me, but my words were like chains, locking all the possibilities he hadn't said.

This person, I like him so much, as long as I see him showing pain, it hurts me more than my heart is fried in oil.

But it took me 15 years to understand: If he really cares about you, why would he be willing to fry you in oil?

I'm not stupid, I've always been smart, I grew up with him, no matter how smart he is, he can't fool me into a perfect suit.It's just that I've always been willing to lie to myself for him. Loving someone seems to have this talent. I learned to deceive myself without a teacher. I blindfolded myself. As long as he smiles at you, he will forget the clues clean.But when the mask was finally broken, what was obtained was the most unbearable truth.

Now I have to be smarter.

I lowered my gaze, stopped talking, and hurried towards the bar.The moment we passed by, he turned his head to look at me.

"What if I say I'm willing to make amends?"

"Not everything can be compensated." I stopped and looked back at him, he was still standing there, wearing very thin clothes, the wind blowing his hair down on his forehead, I couldn't see his eyes clearly.

"Zheng Ao, do you think there is any change in me now?"

He didn't speak, just looked at me, but suddenly turned his eyes away.

Very strange, right?

Just like I looked at you from the balcony that day.

"The original Xu Lang is dead. You have no way to make up for the dead person." I thought I would cry, but in the end I laughed, and my eyes were hot from laughing: "Xiao Ao, you always feel that you Very smart, there is nothing left to learn. Then you take this as the last lesson this world will teach you."

Not everything has an answer, just like not everything can be redeemed, even if you are Zheng Ao, the proud son of heaven, it is the same as time goes forward and everyone is changing.I thought I wouldn't, but in the end you changed me with one word.

Zheng Ao reached out and grabbed my arm. I wanted to break free, but he dragged me over and hugged me hard.

The young man has a slender figure with a wide, unopened embrace. I used to look forward to such a hug, as long as a hug is enough. At his wedding ceremony, as his friend, I got a hug that was intimate and heart-to-heart.That's all I want, and he lied to me like this.

Now it's finally here, but I don't want it anymore.

"I'm sorry, Xiao Lang." He whispered in my ear.

I did not speak.

I have nothing more to say to him.

"Where did you go just now! I've been waiting for you here for a long time, and I'm ready to call the police!" As soon as I walked near the lounge, Ye Susu saw me, and she looked curiously in the direction I came from: "What are you doing?" Is that person Zheng Ao?"

Zheng Ao was still standing in the aisle, with green lights under the walls on both sides, and he was only wearing a shirt.

"Let's go back."

"Wow, why are your eyes red." Ye Susu looked at me: "Did you fight with Zheng Ao? Do you want me to tell Li Xiu? I hate Zheng Ao..."

"Really?" I followed her lead.

"I can't stand him very much," Ye Susu squeezed into the crowd at the bar, turned around and said to me, "He's too smart."

Yeah, smart as hell.

My dad has been tactfully persuading me recently, to the effect that it’s not a big deal to get hurt when you’re young, and wait until you see it after a while, time will heal everything.

I know he's talking about himself.

Even for himself, time has not healed everything, otherwise he would not toss and turn in pain on a rainy day, otherwise he would not look up at the competition trophy he had won when he was young on the bookshelf at a certain moment, revealing that A look that makes the viewer feel sad.

It is a kind of helpless sadness, time is moving forward, and countless wounds are drawn on people.And what was crushed can never be restored to its original shape.

They say I look like him, but I don't.

I just have a good temper, and I don't take revenge fiercely or sarcasm viciously.But I can't really forgive anyone the way he can.

I understand, but cannot forgive.

Forgiveness is a luxury, it is only available to those who grow up slowly in a very warm and bright environment, because in their bones they are full of love for the world and have countless expectations for the future.Only after being hurt can we let go of the past and turn our attention to new things.

But I can't.

I was so light-boned that one blow would kill me, never to recover.I can't trust someone like this anymore, love is too painful, I think I don't want to try again for a long, long time.

I also don't want to be such a fragile person, but there is no way.

That's what I am, water in my bones, frozen at best.How strong can ice be?

But was stabbed.

Winter is getting colder and colder, and I don't go out much except for work.

Zheng Ao never came to see me again.

He is such a smart person, he can figure out how much everyone is worth to him, and with him, I probably deserve that apology.

Li Xiu still wanted to take me out to play, but unfortunately I felt sorry for my life. The things he proposed, such as ski racing, were too dangerous for me, so I politely declined.

But the alpaca has been with me recently.It originally came from Australia. I don’t know if the latitude is high or not, and if it has such a cold winter.I was afraid that it would freeze to death in the stable, so I kept it indoors and tried to teach it how to use cat litter, but unfortunately it never changed.Li Xiu didn't even read a pet breeding manual, so he came over and told me, "It's enough to give me a good beating!" The alpaca probably didn't understand it, so it squatted down and rubbed on him twice, so that there were spots on his coat. hair.

Christmas is coming soon.

The Li family has a special guest.