brother is god

In the kitchen, An Yuhang stood in front of the panel rolling out skins to make dumplings.The dumplings are of medium size, and they are placed roundly on the curtain.One of them was very long and a bit revealing, and it was Xiao Muci's bag.An Yuhang watched him make one and stopped letting him do it again, lest the dumplings would be uncooked and turned into a pot of chicken noodle soup.

Xiao Muci didn't make any more trouble, and helped An Yuhang connect a pot of water, put it on the stove, and turn on the fire to boil the water.He is not good at making dumplings, but cooking dumplings is not a problem.

"What kind of sauce do you want to dip in and adjust yourself." An Yuhang pointed to the place where the seasoning was placed with his chin.

"I'm not that particular." Xiao Muci watched as An Yuhang squeezed his dexterous hands, and a dumpling with thin skin and big stuffing was ready. He felt that making dumplings was not difficult, but it was only when he got used to it. I found that it would be good if the stuffing was not exposed.

"Then pour me some soy sauce and add a little rice vinegar." An Yuhang didn't say goodbye to Xiao Mu politely. The two of them celebrate the festival together. There is really no need to be too cautious or too polite, otherwise it would be too boring.

"Okay." Xiao Muci nodded happily, and found a small plate to mix the dipping sauce. He liked An Yuhang's relaxed state of talking to him and letting him do things, making him feel more like he was at home, and Not just a guest.

The kitchen of An Yuhang's house is quite big, and it doesn't feel crowded when two people stand in it.

After the sauce was prepared, An Yuhang asked him to get cold dishes from the refrigerator. He made them last night. He didn't eat much and put them all in the refrigerator.

"Eat in the living room?" Xiao Muci asked with a cold dish.

"Well, put it on the coffee table."

"it is good."

After the dumplings were wrapped, the water boiled, and An Yuhang put the dumplings directly into the pot.Xiao Muci came in to help, An Yuhang handed him the strainer, let him watch the dumplings, and started to clean up the cooking table by himself.After the cooking table was cleaned up, An Yuhang took out another piece of rice cake, cut it into slices, and fried it in an electric baking pan.Eating rice cakes on the first day of the new year is also a good omen and auspicious.

Neither of the two spoke, each staring at their pot.

With more people around him, An Yuhang felt that the loneliness he felt during the Chinese New Year had also disappeared.In fact, he doesn't ask much, as long as there is someone who can talk to him and have a meal with him during the Chinese New Year, that's all.Even if this person is out of tune with his nest, at least it is a warmth.

When the dumplings are ready to come out of the pan, the rice cakes are also fried.An Yuhang took out a plate and asked Xiao Mu to serve the dumplings, while he picked out the rice cake. This rice cake itself was sweet and not very sweet, but it was enough for An Yuhang, so there was no need to add sugar.After turning off the fire and unplugging the power, An Yuhang and Xiao Muci brought the dumplings and rice cakes to the living room, ready to eat.

"Try it." An Yuhang pointed to the dumplings and said.

Xiao Muci nodded, not being too polite, and took a bite out of a dumpling.Compared with other meat dumplings, An Yuhang's chicken dumplings taste lighter, very fragrant and tender.The taste of celery is not heavy, and it looks very refreshing when paired with chicken.There is a little ginger flavor in the stuffing, which increases the fragrance while removing the fishy smell, which is very good.

"It tastes good." Xiao Muci said with a smile.

"It's good if you like it." Seeing that he likes it, An Yuhang is also relieved, "I will eat some rice cakes later, it has a good meaning."

"it is good."

The two didn't chat any more, and ate their lunch quietly.

After eating, An Yuhang went to the kitchen to wash the dishes. Xiao Muci stood by the kitchen door, holding a glass of water and watching him wash the dishes.

Being looked at by him like this was somewhat embarrassing. An Yuhang found a topic and diverted his attention, "What's the plan for today? Go out for dinner tonight?"

"Well, the seat has been reserved, just go there before seven o'clock in the evening." Xiao Muci smiled, "I also made arrangements in the afternoon, just follow me."

"Okay." An Yuhang didn't ask too much, anyway, Xiao Muci probably wouldn't sell himself, "Do you want coffee?"

"Drink in the afternoon."

"it is good."

At one o'clock in the afternoon, the two got dressed and walked out of the house.After going downstairs, An Yuhang didn't find his car, so he raised his head and asked, "You didn't drive?"

"Well, I took a taxi. Let's take the subway today." Xiao Muci said naturally.The reason why he didn't drive here was because he wanted to experience An Yuhang's daily life, get closer to An Yuhang, and get a closer understanding of An Yuhang's living habits.

"Okay." An Yuhang was used to taking the subway, so he had no objection to his proposal.However, Xiao Mu resigned from driving and offered to take the subway, which really surprised him. In his opinion, this young master might not even know how to buy a subway ticket.But he has the right to take Xiao Muci to experience life, there is nothing wrong with it.

As An Yuhang expected, Xiao Muci's subway ticket was bought by him.At the beginning of the year, there were very few people along the way, and there were almost no people on the subway. The large empty seats were completely different from usual.An Yuhang and Xiao Muci found a seat and sat down, waiting for the subway to take them to their destination.

After arriving in the city center, the two went to have an afternoon tea first, and then went to watch a movie.Tickets are bought in advance, and there are only a handful of people watching the movie during the Chinese New Year.An Yuhang and Xiao Muci sat in the middle of the theater. If there were not two or three other people, An Yuhang would have thought that Xiao Muci had booked the movie.

What Xiao Mu chose was a romantic comedy film made by a cutting-edge director.Generally, Chinese New Year movies are mainly relaxed and cheerful, with some current hot topics added in the middle, which is enough to guarantee the box office.An Yuhang didn't think Xiao Muci liked this type of movie, but when he entered the door just now, he also glanced at the movies during the Spring Festival, and this one was still acceptable.Others are not cartoons, or sad romance films, it is more practical to watch comedies.In any case, you have to be happy in the first grade of junior high school.

Both of them watched movies in a very quiet way, not talking much, not discussing the plot.Xiao Muci didn't do anything other than confiscate his half-drunk iced cola, and watched the movie seriously.An Yuhang doesn't like sitting next to someone who talks a lot when watching a movie, and Xiao Muci like this is exactly what he likes.

It was five o'clock when I left the cinema.

"Are you hungry?" Xiao Muci helped him fasten the loose scarf. Although it didn't look good, it was gentle enough.

"A little bit." The coffee in the afternoon tea and the Coke in the movie theater are all water, not full.

"Then let's go eat, and walk there for about 15 minutes." Xiao Muci said.

"it is good."

Xiao Muci led the way, and An Yuhang followed him unhurriedly.There are still very few people on the road, and it is even more deserted at night, but the festive atmosphere with lights and festoons still makes up for this emptiness, and it is still full of New Year's flavor.

The place Xiao Mu decided on was a private restaurant, membership-only, and the price was not low. An Yuhang seemed to have heard the sound of his wallet shrinking.But since he said he wanted to treat him to dinner, he naturally couldn't run away halfway.It's really impossible, the big deal is to have the cheek to ask Xiao Muci to pay first, and he will repay the loan in installments.

After entering the door, the waiter confirmed Xiao Muci's reservation information, and then enthusiastically took the two of them to the private room upstairs.This private room is not big, but it is very warmly furnished, and it feels more like a dining room at home.

Taking off their coats, the two sat down one after another. Xiao Muci handed over the menu to An Yuhang, while he asked about today's signature dishes and ordered a few home-cooked dishes.Judging from Xiao Muci's attitude, he should come here often and is already familiar with the road.All he ordered were meat dishes and seafood. An Yuhang thought about the combination of meat and vegetables, and ordered two vegetarian dishes.

"Don't order?" Xiao Muci asked after seeing An Yuhang ordering two dishes and then closing the menu.

"You can order, I can do it." An Yuhang didn't know which dish was delicious, and there wasn't even a price on the menu, so An Yuhang was a little hesitant to order.

Xiao Muci added another soup and a staple food before asking An Yuhang again: "Can I drink?"

An Yuhang seldom drank. When he came out with his family, he was in a bad mood, so he hid himself in the house and drank a few times, but the amount was very small, and he was not drunk.

"A little bit is okay." An Yuhang replied.

Xiao Muci thought for a while, and ordered the beer brewed in these two servings.

After confirming the dishes, the waiter smiled and walked out.

An Yuhang looked at Xiao Muci with a smile, and asked, "Brother Xiao should prefer wine bars?"

"Everything is fine except liquor." Xiao Muci opened a hot towel to wipe his hands, "The home-brewed beer here tastes very good, Wen Yan likes it very much, and the strength is not bad, you can drink it with confidence."

"Okay." An Yuhang nodded with a smile, and asked again, "How is your drinking capacity? You should be able to drink well in business, right?"

"It's okay. When I go out to socialize, the secretary will block the wine, so I can't drink much." Xiao Muci said frankly.

"You didn't drive today because you were drinking?"

"It's one of the reasons." Xiao Muci smiled, and helped An Yuhang open the towel and let him wipe his hands.

An Yuhang didn't ask any more questions. After wiping his hands, he drank tea and waited for the food to be served.

Soon, the food and beer were served together.An Yuhang looked at the beer keg in front of him, and finally understood how much a serving was.The self-alcoholic beer here is served in small beer barrels. These small barrels should be specially customized with the name of the hotel engraved on them.A barrel is conservatively estimated to be about five catties, which may not be a big deal for someone with a good drinker, but it is indeed not a small amount for An Yuhang.

After the food was set, the waiter withdrew and closed the door, leaving the two of them in the private room.

An Yuhang pointed to the small wine barrel on the table and said, "Are you sure we can finish them?"

Xiao Muci smiled and gave An Yuhang a piece of fish with chopsticks, and said, "You can drink as much as you can, and forget it if you can't finish it." After speaking, he turned on the small tap on the barrel and took two glasses of beer out , put one of the cups in An Yuhang's hand, and said, "Drink slowly."

The self-brewed beer in the store is very dark beer, and the aroma of the wine has the smell of grain, which is very fragrant. He has smelled it since Xiao Muci turned on the small tap.

Picking up the beer and taking a sip, the burnt aroma of malt spreads in the mouth, the slight bitterness is mixed with a little sweetness, it is not difficult to drink, the aroma is mellow and the aftertaste is long.

"It's delicious." An Yuhang said with a smile.

"Eat something first before drinking, or you will get drunk easily." Xiao Muci said.

"Okay." An Yuhang put down his glass and began to eat.

The dishes in this private restaurant are really good. Although the price is definitely not cheap, it still makes An Yuhang feel that it is worth it. It may be difficult to eat such a taste in other places.

With a little stomach, An Yuhang slowed down his eating speed. After eating a piece of ribs, he put down his chopsticks, picked up his wine glass, and said goodbye to Xiao Mu: "Brother Xiao, I toast you. Thank you for always being so Take care of me and spend the New Year with me."

Xiao Muci smiled, put down his chopsticks, picked up the wine glass and touched An Yuhang lightly, and said, "As long as you take good care of yourself, it's considered a thank you to me."

"I will." An Yuhang nodded and drank the beer in his glass.He thanked Xiao Muci from the bottom of his heart. He could hardly count the things Xiao Muci had helped him with, but he never had a chance to formally express his gratitude.Today was just right, there were only the two of them and there was wine, so An Yuhang naturally wanted to toast him.

"Drink slowly." Xiao Muci knew that An Yuhang really wanted to thank him, and he also accepted An Yuhang's heart, and drank the beer in the glass in one go.

An Yuhang put down his glass and licked his lips. Because of the beer, he felt warm and comfortable in his stomach.

After Xiao Muci finished drinking, he filled up two more cups, and said to An Yuhang, "Let's have some food."

"Yeah." An Yuhang picked up his favorite chicken and ate it slowly.

Xiao Muci helped him add vegetables and soup from time to time, but he didn't eat much himself.

"Brother Xiao, why are you celebrating the New Year alone?" An Yuhang asked while eating the shrimp that Xiao Muci had peeled for him.From yesterday to now, whether intentionally or unintentionally, they have not brought up this topic.

"My parents are very busy. They have jobs abroad this month, so they will celebrate the New Year there. I also have business to discuss next year, so I don't want to run away." Xiao Muci said.In fact, he has a good relationship with his parents, but the three of them are too busy and don't have much time to bond.

"Well, that's not bad. At least when you miss your parents, you can go to them." An Yuhang was a little disappointed. Xiao Muci was different from him. Xiao Muci actively wanted to celebrate the New Year alone, while he was passive. I have to spend the New Year alone.

Xiao Muci raised his head and touched An Yuhang's hair. An Yuhang's face was pink because of drinking, and he looked at Xiao Muci with watery eyes, with obvious loneliness in his eyes.

"It's okay, I'll accompany you." Xiao Muci said.

An Yuhang hooked the corners of his mouth, picked up the cup and touched Xiao Muci's again, raised his head and drank half of the cup.

"Slow down, you'll get drunk if you drink too fast." Xiao Muci was not afraid that he would get drunk, but that he would feel uncomfortable.

"It's okay." An Yuhang took the cup and said goodbye to Xiao Mu: "Brother Xiao, do you know why I celebrate the New Year alone?"

In fact, Xiao Muci could guess some of it, but he didn't say it.

An Yuhang took a long breath, looked at the cup in his hand, lowered his head and said, "I can't go back..."

"I came out with my family, and they couldn't accept it." An Yuhang took another sip of wine and continued: "Actually, I wasn't afraid of arguing with people at all before, but since I came out, my family has started fighting with me." Cold war. Brother Xiao, do you know the feeling of cold war?"

"It's like something is pressing on your chest, it doesn't hurt, but it's stuffy, you can't breathe, and you are angry all the time. You can't vent your anger because no one cares whether you are angry or not, just like you It doesn't exist at all." An Yuhang's eyes were slightly red, "From then on, I was really scared. I was especially afraid that others would fight with me after a fight, and I couldn't bear it for a second. So I had to restrain my temper and try my best to I don’t quarrel with others. I don’t dare to come out to others casually, if others can’t accept it, I have to fall into cold violence again. It’s really, really annoying.”

"Actually, I've lived a very tiring life. When I was enduring the cold war at home, there was no one to talk to, because if I wanted to talk to others, I would definitely come out of the closet. I was very passive. Sometimes I felt sorry for Yuan Jia and the others. They were really nice to me, but I couldn't tell them I was gay."

Sniffing, An Yuhang drank the remaining half glass of wine, and then took another glass himself.

Xiao Muci looked at An Yuhang and didn't stop him.He felt sorry for An Yuhang like this, but he also understood that An Yuhang needed to vent.Otherwise, if these things are squeezed for a long time, one day they will overwhelm him and make him completely collapse...

"I still remember how my dad beat me with a belt when he heard that I liked men. He was merciless, as if I wasn't his son at all. He looked at me like he was looking at a man. Mental illness, a monster." An Yuhang's throat choked up, took a sip of wine, suppressed the pain of crying, and continued: "I was beaten in pain, but I couldn't say anything, and I couldn't beg for mercy. I can Lie to everyone, but you can’t lie to yourself, I’m gay, I just like men, and I can’t change it. Even if he kills me, I can’t change it.”

"When my father beat me, my mother didn't persuade me at all, she just stood by and watched. My younger brother ignored me and went straight into the house. In the end, my father stopped beating himself when he was tired."

"Do you know what I was like at the time? I was bleeding in several places on my body. I didn't dare to go to the hospital, so I could only take some medicine and smear it on myself. My mother didn't even come in to see me. That night I can't sleep because of the pain, but no one cares about me..."

Xiao Muci gently held his face and wiped away his tears.An Yuhang didn't make a sound when he cried, but the tears kept pouring out.

An Yuhang raised his hand and wiped his face with tears.With his eyes downcast and his head turned away, An Yuhang quickly rubbed his face with his hand, and said in a low voice, "Sorry..."

On the first day of the new year, An Yuhang felt very bad when she shed tears at Xiao Mu, and knew that some people were quite shy about this.

"Fool." Xiao Muci pinched his chin lightly, turned his face back, and slowly wiped away his tears.In his opinion, An Yuhang was still a child, and a child shouldn't have to bear so much.

"What happened next?" Xiao Muci asked softly.He hoped that An Yuhang would tell all the things that were in his heart, so that it would be easier.

An Yuhang held the wine glass and drank a few more sips, gradually collected his emotions, and then said: "About a week later, my mother gave me a business card, it was a psychiatrist, and said to let me go to the doctor, maybe it can be cured good."

"I didn't go, and then my dad got angry again, and said that if he didn't go, he would send me to a mental hospital. I said I was not sick, and the mental hospital couldn't handle it." Although this incident has passed for a long time, at that time An Yuhang still remembers the feeling, "Then my dad got angry again, picked up my brother's golf club, and broke my head."

Golf is known as the sport of the rich. Just because my younger brother said he wanted to play, his parents bought him a set of clubs, and that set of clubs was called to him without even using it a few times.

Xiao Muci looked at his forehead carefully. An Yuhang knew what he was looking for, so he pointed to the place where he was injured. The scar was hidden in his hair, and An Yuhang's hair was a little long, so if you don't deliberately Look for it, but you can't see it.

"Because the bleeding was so severe, my mother had to take me to the hospital. The hospital gave me two stitches and left a scar. On the way home, my mother persuaded me a few words. If I learn badly from others, I can make it better. I know the situation best myself, and my head was hurting like hell, so I spoke back to her angrily." An Yuhang exhaled slowly, "Return My mom got sick after we got home, and my dad said it made me angry. My younger brother hated me when he saw my mom like that, and taunted me every day. Later, I quarreled with him a few times, but my mom refused to let me go. , said that I didn’t study well and bullied my younger brother. If I scold my younger brother again, let me go. Since then, my family has started a cold war, which lasted for about three months. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I moved out. gone."

After saying this, An Yuhang's mood also calmed down, but because he had just cried, his voice still sounded muffled.

Xiao Muci wanted to hug him very much, but such a move was too abrupt, so he could only pat An Yuhang on the back lightly, and said, "It's all over. You did the right thing. You can't cover up this kind of thing." Peaceful." Xiao Muci wanted to tell him that he was still there, and that he would protect him in the future.But when the words came to his lips, he took them back.He would say this to An Yuhang, but not now.But it won't make An Yuhang wait too long.

"Yeah." Being affirmed is tantamount to giving An Yuhang confidence.After finishing the beer in the glass, An Yuhang looked up at Xiao Muci, and asked, "Brother Xiao, have you come out?"

Xiao Muci shook his head and said, "A few important friends around me know about it, but they haven't told the family yet."

"Well, you have to think it over, don't make it like me." An Yuhang felt that he was a negative example, and he didn't want Xiao Muci to be like him.

"When I find someone who can live with me for the rest of my life, I'll tell my family." Xiao Muci said, "I'm financially independent now, and my job is going well. Even if my family disagrees, it won't have any impact on me."

"Well, that's good." An Yuhang nodded and took another glass of beer.

Xiao Muci blocked his cup and said, "If you drink any more, you will get drunk." An Yuhang's face was already very red because of drinking too much.

"It's okay, I'm sober now. I can feel better after drinking some wine." An Yuhang looked at Xiao Muci.

Xiao Muci didn't stop him anymore, anyway, if he was there, he would be drunk if he was drunk.

An Yuhang started to drink one cup after another, clinking glasses with Xiao Muci from time to time, regardless of whether Xiao Muci drank or not, anyway, he drank it all in one gulp... Xiao Muci looked at him, feeling distressed, but also It didn't stop him, if it made An Yuhang feel better, then let him be happy.

The keg of beer ran low, and An Yuhang lay down on the table and couldn't drink anymore.

Xiao Muci touched his hair, called the waiter to check out, and asked the waiter to call a taxi for him by the way.There is a taxi service here, which is very convenient.

After paying the bill, Xiao Muci helped An Yuhang get dressed.

An Yuhang asked in a daze, "Where are you going?"

"Go home." Xiao Muci said with a slight smile.

An Yuhang let out an "oh" and then fell silent.

After helping him wrap the scarf, the waiter came to inform him that the car had arrived.Xiao Muci picked up An Yuhang, left the hotel, and got into a taxi.

The two sat together in the back row, and An Yuhang fell on Xiao Muci's lap, as if falling asleep.Xiao Muci directly reported his home address, the taxi turned a corner, drove away from the hotel, and drove to Xiao Muci's residence...