stamina

He Jinxi has a normal family life.

Before the age of 16, she was beautiful, sensible, and had good academic performance, and she would be praised by her parents wherever she went.

In their whole family, in the old community where her family lives, she is the only outstanding child.At that time, my mother liked to ride a bicycle and drive her to go shopping. No matter what she bought, as long as she came across beautiful clothes or beautiful headgear, her mother would not help letting her try it, and then bought it amidst the praise of others.

Dad is a typical northern man, machismo, who doesn't care about these trivial things, but because she has good grades in school and stands on the podium every year, everyone who knows him in the whole county knows that he has an excellent daughter.

At that time, Chinese New Year was a joyful event, and everyone was looking forward to it.Dad can play mahjong and brag with relatives and friends with the bonus, and mother can cook and gossip with aunts and aunts in the kitchen.

He Jinxi can receive a lot of lucky money and a lot of compliments.Although He Yibei has a naughty personality and his grades are not very good, but because of her sister, no one has too many demands on him.

He just needs to be a lively and cheerful little boy and add some lively atmosphere to this family.

My father has an iron job, my mother has a good temper, my elder sister is smart and beautiful, and my younger brother is cute.Wherever the He family walks, their waists are straight, and they are not afraid to mention their family to others.

Until He Jinxi turned 16, some senses of the body awakened with growth, and when the little girl at the same table held her hand, her heart would beat rapidly.

She knows what it feels like to like, and what sexuality is. She has been surprised and frightened, but more of it is the frivolity and courage of youth.

She is a child who grew up with love and praise, and she is confident that she can accomplish all her own goals.

So she moved into the dormitory on the pretext that the school was far away. After turning off the lights, she climbed into the bed at the same table, and touched and kissed her in fear.

Then, one day, the deskmate in physical education class fainted.

Blood trickled down her thigh, staining her school uniform pants red.

The physical education teacher picked her up and ran to the school doctor's office. He Jinxi couldn't run as fast as the teacher, and even fell on the way. When she limped to the school doctor's room, the head teacher had already called 120.

The galloping ambulance drove into the campus and then drove out again. It was seen by countless students, and various rumors began to spread wildly.

In less than half a day, the roommates in the same dormitory began to look at He Jinxi with strange eyes.During evening self-study, He Jinxi was called out of the classroom by the head teacher and came to the office.

Sitting in the office was the tablemate's mother whose eyes were red and swollen from crying. He Jinxi had seen her once when she came to deliver things to the tablemate.

He Jinxi bowed to her politely and said, "Hello, Auntie."

The mother at the same table slapped her across the face, hitting her cheek, and it hurt hotly.

"Crazy! Pervert!" The woman yelled hysterically at her, "You killed my daughter! You pervert who kills thousands of knives..."

That was the first time He Jinxi was beaten. It was painful, frightening and wronged.

The teacher pulled away the mother at the same table, but her shouting continued, and all the teachers and students outside the office heard it clearly.

When He Jinxi figured out what was going on, it was already two hours later.

Her parents were invited to the school, and together with the parents at the same table, the principal came forward to mediate.

The blood on the leg of the same table is not from scratching the skin, nor is it menstruation, it is the trauma of the vagina, which is caused by violent sex.

Someone reported to the teacher that He Jinxi and his deskmate slept in the same bed at night.

Someone also reported to the teacher that He Jinxi often hangs out with female gangsters outside the school.

At that time, homosexuality was a secret thing in the small county, not known by most people.

Many people inside and outside the school, whenever they hear a little gossip, any unrealistic fantasy will come out.

In front of the principal, the teacher, the dean, the parents at the same table, and his own parents, He Jinxi was asked, what did he do to the same table?

He Jinxi couldn't answer.

She kissed her, touched her, hugged her and fell asleep together, but she didn't put her fingers or anything else into the body of her deskmate.

But the tablemate was indeed hurt. He Jinxi was worried about her, about herself, afraid of all questioning, and afraid of the truth.

So she didn't say anything.

She didn't say anything, and in the eyes of others, it was equivalent to acquiescing.

Now, instead of the parents at the same table coming to beat her, her father, the one who likes to drink and brag the most, and who takes his face too seriously, kicked her up.

He beat him hard, if the teachers didn't stop him, He Jinxi felt that he would be beaten to death in that office.

After that, everything fell to the bottom.

Just like a straight line extending upwards, there will always be a sudden fault, a landslide, and all the hypocritical beauty will be drowned out.

There is no impenetrable wall, let alone such an explosive gossip of middle school students.

Almost the whole world knew about this matter, and the degree of exaggeration of the rumors was like a flood breaking a dam.

He Jinxi was forced to suspend school and stay at home. He was locked in the house by his father and did not go out for a long time.

Many times, my mother cried and asked her, why did this happen?

He Jinxi tried to explain to her, telling her that homosexuality is not a perversion, telling her that she was just a puppy love at most, telling her that she didn't hurt any girl, but it was useless.

Her gentle and good-tempered mother became hysterical, and even after a few days of calm, endless fights broke out after her father got off work.

Later, my younger brother stopped going to school, saying that others called him a homosexual and a criminal, and my father stopped going to work, saying that his promotion was too bad and he couldn't stay any longer.Mom no longer goes out during the day, and the things that must be done, such as shopping for vegetables and throwing out garbage, are all done secretly after nightfall.

He Jinxi became the sinner of the whole family.

Even if she was once the pride of the family.

Later, at the beginning of the new semester, He Jinxi's family moved out of the county town where they had lived for decades, and came to another city.

Dad went to work as a temporary worker, mother worked as a cashier in the supermarket, He Jinxi and He Yibei entered a new school, and no one knew them anymore.

Everything seemed to be back to normal, but He Jinxi knew that it would never be normal again.

She understands that all love is conditional. Even parents and relatives are based on this condition. Once you can't meet their requirements, you don't deserve love.

He Jinxi lost everything except her persistence.

Countless times her parents asked her, can you like boys?Can you be normal?He Jinxi shook his head stubbornly.

Dad said, then I won't give you living expenses.

He Jinxi said, good.

Dad said, I will not pay for tuition fees in the future.

He Jinxi said, good.

He Jinxi was admitted to university and insisted that she was gay, so she lost all sources of income.

She applied for scholarships and bursaries, and went to work in her spare time. As long as she was not afraid of hard work and willing to study, it was not a problem to support herself.

During the four years of college, she not only supported herself, but also discovered the code to get rich.

Running proxy auctions, selling autographs, working as fans, and distributing celebrity peripherals, the money of star chasing girls is really good.

The celebrity circle is also really open-minded. From the black material that He Jinxi has seen, from time to time, it will pop up that a certain celebrity is gay or bisexual.

This made He Jinxi feel that there was nothing wrong with her persistence, the world was like this.

During his senior year internship, He Jinxi joined u as an assistant.

She is winky, good-natured, smart and quick-witted, and anyone can talk to her.

In the second winter, which was the fifth year she hadn't come home, she paid the down payment for her first house in a remote suburb of the next city.

The house is off-plan, and it will take two years to get it, but she holds the house purchase contract, drinks and eats meat in the rental house, and is very happy.

On New Year's Eve, she took the initiative to call home for the first time.

She wants to share the joy with her family, she wants to ask them how they are doing recently, and she wants to tell them that she has grown up and matured, and after spending so long outside, she has learned a lot and broadened her horizons.

She is not as stubborn as before, and she is not as full of grievances as before. She doesn't know how to say it. She is sorry for the harm she caused to the family. She wants to solve those misunderstandings and slowly make the family relationship ease...

The phone call was okay at first, but when she brought up the incident at the age of 16, her father's yelling shook the phone to her ear.

He growled and asked her, "Are you still going to be a pervert!"

He Jinxi clenched his fists and explained: "I'm not a pervert, I'm just..."

"Don't tell me these things!" He Fang slapped the table vigorously, "Don't tell me these things!"

He Jinxi cried and called him: "Dad..."

He Fang said: "If you still want my father and family, then don't be a pervert and find someone to marry."

He Jinxi: "No."

He Fang: "Then you return everything we have raised you for these years."

His father's voice was extremely cold, and He Jinxi felt the despair that made people shiver all over.

That is to say, from this sentence, the line that fell to the bottom of the valley fell again, extending to the bottomless abyss.

Now, 12 years have passed since that sudden turning point.

He Jinxi really grew up and became independent from a young girl, and became a mature social woman with her own career and world.

She can deal with troubles at work rationally, she can make her life flourish, and she can create an indestructible version of herself in her world, but she still can't let go of her past.

Her family is her base, her background.

If she is not careful, she will be pulled back and find that she has a severe stress disorder, that she is cowardly and cowardly, that there are problems that can never be solved in this world, and that she still longs for love.

Today, her father stopped her car, had a meal with her, and suddenly refused to say anything to her.

He Jinxi didn't dare to ask him, then what are you doing here, it's like not trying to find a spark in ashes.

Zheng Xiao's body is soft and warm. He Jinxi needs to use such a living person, with his own living body, to prove that his persistence is not wrong and that his persistence is worthwhile.

So when Zheng Xiao hugged her back, stroked her back over and over again, and asked her softly "what happened?" Looking into her eyes, she said, "I want to make|love."