Rebirth is more than a year old

Ye Su died the day before the Lantern Festival.

It seems to indicate that the New Year will eventually pass, and the Spring Festival will not hesitate for a moment.

That day after class, Xiang Nan was going to buy a New Year gift for Ye Su to take advantage of tomorrow's Lantern Festival, but he received a call from Yan Jun as soon as he arrived at the dormitory.

He didn't know how Yan Jun knew the phone number of his dormitory, but when he heard Yan Jun's voice coming from the microphone, Xiang Nan became inexplicably flustered, like a distant perception, subconsciously knowing what was going on. happened.

Yan Jun's voice was quite calm, but he just said that Ye Su missed him and asked him to go to the living room now.

The sky outside was already a bit gray. A few gray birds flew over the sycamore branches in front of the dormitory building, making a few inexplicable calls, and stood in front of the telephone in the south. When he recovered, Yan Jun had already hung up the phone.

Xiang Nan took his wallet and keys and went out. When he got to the third floor, he ran into Cao Qiudong and Ye Wei. Seeing him walking in a hurry, they were a little confused, and they were about to stop and ask a few questions. Seeing that Xiang Nan didn't look at them at all, he just walked past them, Cao Qiudong and Xu Bin looked at each other, intending to stop him, but Xiang Nan had already run down the steps and disappeared without a trace.

Xiang Nan hailed a taxi outside the school and went straight to Xiangshengju.

The taxi driver put him down at the entrance of the alley where Xiangsheng lived, left the money in Xiangnan's place, pushed the door and got out of the car.

He felt that he could remain calm as usual, but when he saw the familiar alley, his feet ran wildly uncontrollably. The wind running past his ears was as dry and fierce as this season, and the wind blew across his cheeks. The blow made his eyes hurt, Xiang Nan squinted his eyes, and the door plaque of the past life residence was close in front of him.

Standing outside the door, you can still hear the sound of the roaring tide inside, which is the carnival of the guests.

Step through the gate to the south, and enter the backyard without looking sideways.

After walking through the lengthy outline, the courtyard where Ye Su lives alone is close in sight.

At this moment, Xiang Nan suddenly hesitated.

When grandma passed away that year, Xiang Nan was by his side. Before she left, grandma took his hand, with a look of pain and joy on her mottled and old face. She said: Grandma is leaving, and from now on, you have to be good by yourself. of.Xiang Nan nodded heavily, but tears gushed out of his eyes and hit the back of grandma's withered hands.She also said: Your character is too easy to suffer, so you should be more careful in the future.Xiang Nan still nodded.

Grandma was already very thin, but her strength in holding him was surprisingly strong, as if she knew that the trajectory of life would eventually disappear, but there was still a little unwillingness in her bones.

Xiang Nan watched her raise her head, her breathing became more and more difficult and painful, and then her pupils slowly turned from dark to gray, and finally closed her eyes gradually, and the whole room instantly turned into a huge void , Even his own breathing reflected a few echoes, Xiang Nan thought, he was in pain at that time, probably because it was too painful, so he lost his strength even when he was exhausted, he could only foolishly hold on to grandma and slowly lose the warmth hand, silly and silently shed tears.

When the space suddenly overlapped, Xiang Nan didn't know what kind of face he should face Ye Su.

Until Yan Jun's figure appeared at the gate of the small courtyard, Junya's face was extremely haggard, and she said to him, "Go in, he is waiting for you."

Xiang Nan hummed inaudibly, then walked past Yan Jun and entered Ye Su's bedroom with the door open.

As soon as he stepped into the room, the strong air of death in the room penetrated into his body, Xiang Nan felt empty, suppressed the sadness that was desperately trying to come up from the depths of his heart, and walked towards the bed step by step. go.

Ye Su's eyes were closed tightly on the bed, and his whole face showed a weird distorted feeling. Xiang Nan knew that this was the result of his illness. Ye Su's hands were placed outside the quilt, and the nails were so deep that the texture of them could not be seen clearly. .The heating was clearly turned on in the room, but Xiang Nan felt his heart was completely cold.

Probably because his approaching movement was too obvious, Ye Su slowly opened his eyes, when he saw him, he pulled the corners of his mouth with difficulty trying to force a smile, but failed, Xiang Nan grabbed his hand, very quickly Said lightly, "Happy New Year."

Ye Su looked at him and said, "Happy New Year."

His voice was so thick that he couldn't hear the meaning of the words, Xiang Nan held his hand with one hand, and the other hand was hanging on the side of the bed clenched into a fist, his nails were deeply embedded in the flesh but he didn't notice it. Ye Su seemed to see through his intentions, and stretched out his hand in the air, waiting for Xiang Nan to put the hand that was about to bleed into his palm.

In the past, Ye Su was beautiful, his eyes were like willows on the embankment.The unfamiliar green vines and flowers are in full bloom, which to him is just a superficial beauty, but in Ye Su's broken body, there is an exquisite heart with seven apertures that has insight into the world.

"Xiang Nan," at this moment, he still looked at Xiang Nan with eyes full of emotions, and said quietly, "I'm starting to be afraid of death."

The man who said that I am afraid of death, the memory of Xiang Nan for ten years is as vivid as the fingerprints on the title page of the diary. The bright red one has clear and distinct texture, and it will probably fade. An imprint is engraved on the hearts of the people, and it will be unforgettable for the rest of my life.

Xiang Nan has never hated his clumsy tongue like this moment, he can only hold Ye Su's hand tightly, trying to pass on some strength to him, but Ye Su still looks at him with deep eyes, Behind his pupils, there seemed to be a deep introversion like a thousand mountains and evening snow. He slightly raised his pale and chapped lips, and said slowly: "From the time I was sensible, I knew that I was different from others. I couldn't run, I couldn't do intense exercise, and I couldn't even do | Love also bears the risk of the heart beating too fast and stopping. In Yan's family, I am a wild species that can't even enter the ancestral grave after death. I never care about these things. I say this to myself, but I still care. That silly woman sacrificed her whole life for an unworthy man, and I will never repeat her mistake again, so I swear to myself that I will never be tempted by anyone. But the world is unpredictable, and it is a pity after all."

He said: "Before I was 15 years old, I was afraid that I would not wake up. Later, as I grew older, I began to understand that no one else could share my fear of death except myself. I began to hide this fear and let myself become A person who looks calm and calm. During this period of time, I would occasionally look back and look at the way I came, and I found that these ten years were the happiest time I have ever lived. In that small town in the south, in Yan Jun’s At home, I saw you for the first time, Xiang Nan, did I tell you, when I saw you at that time, I was thinking, such a person should be held in the palm of the hand and loved, not alone Accepting the test of fate again and again...ahem..."

Ye Su talked too much, coughing violently for a while, the coughing sound strung together strange symbols in the empty bedroom, making Xiang Nan mistakenly think that the god of death was going to take Ye Su away. Ye Su's hand gently patted his back, "Ye Su, don't talk, rest well, you will be fine. Feng Li told me that he has found a heart that matches you, and you will be fine with the surgery." Get up." Even Xiang Nan himself didn't believe it, if Feng Li really found it, why bother to wait until now.

Ye Su finally stopped coughing, looked at him with a smile, and said in a meandering voice, "Xiang Nan, I can't bear to part with you."

I hate this world.

Miss these friends.

Can't bear to like the person.

Too much reluctance to make up the five flavors of life, because I know that I will leave one day, so I want to say goodbye in advance, say that I am reluctant to you, and let you know that I am really reluctant.

Xiang Nan buried his head down, leaned lightly on the back of Ye Su's hand, and said in a hoarse voice: "Then don't go, Ye Su, please be strong!"

Ye Su smiled lightly, his voice was as fragile as flowers and birds on a porcelain pillow, and would shatter when touched the ground, "I've been strong for half my life, and I'm too tired."

Xiang Nan shook his head vigorously, and hoarsely shouted: "Not enough, not enough Ye Su!"

"I have spent most of my time and effort in this home. I have already transferred it to your name. Please take good care of it for me in the future." Ye Su said, stroking the top of Xiang Nan's head with his fingers. His friend Xiangnan lived in the house, which made Ye Su feel that there is such a joy of spring breeze in the lifeless life, "Maybe I will have the same situation as you, and I will have a second chance of life, so Xiang Nan, don't be sad, we will all be fine."

The sky outside the window was completely dark, the lights in the room were not turned on, Xiang Nan sat by the bed, maintaining the same posture in the afternoon, holding Ye Su's cold hands with both hands.

Yan Jun stood outside the door, looking up at the jet-black sky above, there were occasionally two stars in the sky, and they were so faint that they could hardly be seen.Transparent water rolled down from the eye sockets, slowly flowing down his handsome cheeks, converging into a stream at the chin, and then plunging into the fire like all the moths in the world.

Suddenly there were loud footsteps outside the yard.

Feng Li's figure quickly appeared at the door, and Shen Qinglan followed closely behind. When the two saw Yan Jun with red eyes and tear-stained face at the door of the bedroom, they finally strode into the bedroom regardless of their usual calmness and demeanor.

Ye Su was lying on the old carved wooden bed with his clothes together, his face was dignified and serene.

Sitting on the side of the bed, Xiang Nan heard footsteps, and turned his head slowly. When he saw Feng Li, crystal tears suddenly slipped from his eyes, but the corners of his mouth curled up slightly, and he said softly, "Don't make noise, Ye Su." Fell asleep."

Feng Li felt his eyes swell and hurt, strode over and pulled Xiang Nan up into his arms.Shen Qinglan stood on the edge of the bed, not knowing what kind of expression he should have on his face for a moment.

Feng Li hugged the person in his arms tightly, his eyes slowly descended, and fell on Ye Su's face with his eyes closed tightly. With a little force on his fingers, he finally suppressed all the sadness in his heart, and asked the person who walked in afterwards Yan Jun, "Was it painful when you left?"

Yan Jun answered in a low voice, "It's not too much pain."

Feng Li sighed repressedly, "Let's arrange the funeral."