Return to the Road of God

Jiang Bing glanced down, and the corners of his eyes twitched. He stretched out his hand and pointed at Ye Yufan's feet, and almost said word by word: "You have a shadow."

Ye Yufan: "..."

Anyone who wants to hear about this kind of thing will not believe it, Ye Yufan smiled and said: "I also discovered it slowly after I started painting."

Jiang Bing: "What did you find?"

Ye Yufan: "I found the answers to the things I have been confused about during this time, the self I have tried so hard to find, and I can find the answers in the paintings... At first I just wanted to draw and see, but as I drew, I Gradually, I recalled some past events. Those events did not happen in the past ten years of my life, nor were they caused by others, but my own memories. Xia Xiaochuan did exist, but he was not someone else, but A part of my past, another part of me."

"..." Jiang Bing involuntarily glanced at the shadow under Ye Yufan's feet again. In fact, he is not a particularly curious person. Ye Yufan still treats him as a brother if he doesn't say anything, but since the doctor came, Jiang Bing No matter how nervous you are, you can't turn a blind eye to those weird remarks.He is also very depressed, wondering whether he is too backward, or whether the technology is too advanced, so developed that it reaches the soul~ the resurrection of the dead~ the past and the present~ these things all exist!

Jiang Bing touched the cigarette on his body, and said in a low voice, "Say it, I will believe everything you say."

Ye Yufan's eyes stopped on Jiang Bing for two seconds. This person is just a street gangster, but for some reason, he exudes a unique charm, just like now, with his deep expression and convincing aura, Like a trustworthy big brother in the rivers and lakes.But Ye Yufan is very clear that the other party is a reckless, impulsive, and occasionally unreasonable person, but you think he is stupid, sometimes he is so affectionate, simple and pure, and people can't help letting go of their guard.

"Give me one too." Ye Yufan looked away.

Jiang Bing took out a cigarette and threw it to Ye Yufan. When the cigarette was lit, the wind was too strong. Ye Yufan took the cigarette butt in his mouth and moved towards it. The faint white smoke overflowed from between the lips and teeth, filled the open grass, and disappeared in an instant.

Jiang Bing asked with a smile: "How is it?"

Ye Yufan: "It's okay."

The two sat on the ground, and Ye Yufan stopped being hypocritical and said relaxedly: "My illness started in October last year."

If the last time I vented the depression in my body through body language, then this time I expressed the long-buried mood in my heart through oral narrative.

"...that Dr. Rui guessed through hypnosis that there was another person in my body. That person was Xia Xiaochuan. He thought that the scribbles on the textbooks and test papers that I had done before were the actions of that person. According to his speculation, My body was taken by someone else, but at the same time I wasn't completely gone."

Jiang Bing got dizzy when he heard it: "Wait, did you not remember it at all when you painted by yourself?"

"I didn't have it at all at first, but I slowly recalled it after I started painting recently. I still remembered that I stole a bucket of black paint from a painting supply store and splashed a painting on the wall outside someone's house..." Ye Yufan looked at his hand movements.

Jiang Bing: "The story about you reminds me of when I was a child when I was emptying the toilet, I fell on the way to the latrine, and the stool in the bucket splashed all over the wall..."

Thinking of that scene, Ye Yufan couldn't help laughing, that is, when Jiang Bingneng was in deep depression, he suddenly said a word to bring him back to the real world.

Jiang Bing: "Oh, keep talking."

"Later, I had a fever and was hospitalized. I thought I had a terminal illness and was dying," Ye Yufan pinched his wrist. "I was not as thin as I am now. It was because of that illness. The lightest time during the illness was only 96 pounds. It’s hard to imagine a skeleton, isn’t it? Now I weigh 110 pounds when I’m exhausted, and I just keep eating to make up for it.”

Jiang Bing: "How much was your heaviest?"

Ye Yufan: "128."

Jiang Bing patted Ye Yufan on the shoulder: "My brother has never weighed less than 130 since he grew up, bamboo pole."

Ye Yufan: "..."

Jiang Bing: "Go on~"

Ye Yufan: "Afterwards, my dad told me all the things that he kept from me, but when I heard the name Xia Xiaochuan, I didn't think it was strange, and I thought this person was me."

Jiang Bing took a puff of his cigarette, with a deep expression on his face, just when Ye Yufan thought he was going to express some insight, he only heard him say: "I'm confused again!"

Ye Yufan: "..."

Jiang Bing: "Do you think Xia Xiaochuan is you? Then who are you?"

Ye Yufan paused, ignored Jiang Bing's question, and continued to talk to himself: "But after all, Dr. Rui is an expert, and any patient will be superstitious about what the expert said, and so am I. The thought is fleeting, and I doubt myself. Is there really two people in my body? According to this setting, Dr. Rui boldly speculates that the two souls in my body are merging... To be honest, all this is indeed very in line with his inference, but he forgot the most important thing One point, all his conjectures are based on assumptions, no matter how perfect the conjecture is, there is no way to match the real feeling of the person involved.”

Jiang Bing: "...Okay, buddy, who are you?"

Ye Yufan said blankly, "I don't know either."

Jiang Bing: "Didn't you just say that you are Xia Xiaochuan? Who is Xia Xiaochuan?"

Ye Yufan: "I just don't know who Xia Xiaochuan is. If it wasn't for Dr. Rui, I wouldn't even know the name Xia Xiaochuan."

Jiang Bing: "Ah, I understand. It means that you are like a person with amnesia. You forgot the first part and only remember the second part, right?"

Ye Yufan: "Almost."

Jiang Bing: "Then what happened to your unconscious scribbling before?"

Ye Yufan: "This is like a habitual behavior. For example, you get up every morning, brush your teeth, wash your face, and eat breakfast. Over time, it becomes a habit. Sometimes the body has already done these things before the brain is fully awake; another example is some forgetful people. Afterwards, I locked the lock habitually, but I didn’t remember that I had done it, and I went back to check repeatedly. These are all normal phenomena. Before Dr. Rui came to see me, I had already begun to suspect that Xia Xiaochuan was a part of me, or that I He is a part of Xia Xiaochuan, he is the memory of my previous life, and I am the continuation of his present life. Half a year ago, the memory of Xia Xiaochuan was revived, and I seemed to have lived peacefully for 15 years, but suddenly realized that I was reborn. When I am agitated, I completely forget myself, eager to know what happened and who I am, and deny this experience in this world; when I am calm, I completely avoid my past self Turning a blind eye to the memories of the past... Until now, I have gradually calmed down and accepted the fact that I am me, whether it is the Xia Xiaochuan who painted or the former Ye Yufan, it is me, not others..."

This was something that Ye Yufan and Jiang Bing had only realized after a fight.

Because of this sudden experience, Ye Yufan changed his original way of life. He started painting not because he loves painting so much. When Li Le asked him why he didn’t say that he likes painting, he just wanted to do it so he did it .

"I paint just to stimulate myself to think of the past. As long as I keep painting, there will definitely be an answer."

When the pencil slides across the rough paper, the slight rustling sound is accompanied by the rotation of the gears of time. It seems that I have returned to a long time ago. At that time, I was younger than now. The hand holding the pen is immature and small, but extremely flexible. The ink line is like a living black water snake, wagging its tail and swimming on the paper with the consciousness of the person holding the pen...

The more he draws, the more familiar that feeling becomes. Ye Yufan has never been so sure as at that moment that it is himself.

Jiang Bing: "After you said that, I think that doctor is amazing. He almost guessed it right!"

"Yeah." As if out of an animal's fear of natural enemies, Ye Yufan felt that he had to avoid him in order to feel safe, "I don't know if what I said today can fool him, at least when I really know what I am Before I know who I am, I don't want him to know."

Jiang Bing frowned: "Speaking of which, there is one thing that happened after you got drunk that day..."

Ye Yufan: "What?"

Jiang Bing looked at Ye Yufan, his eyes changed, and he said sadly: "Why did you marry another woman and have children without telling me~~~I hate you~~~I won't forgive you~~~" He imitated Ye Yufan's tone , as if he was in that environment at that time, extremely sad, after he finished speaking, he didn't care about Ye Yufan's face that turned red and pale at the moment, and instead returned to a painful expression, "At that time, I thought that your Aunt Qiong Yao watched too many TV dramas. You said that you were a woman in your previous life, and you were let down by your lover, otherwise, how could you say such a thing?"

"Really, you didn't make up such a thing to tease me, did you?" Ye Yufan didn't let it go, feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

Jiang Bing said: "I'm still in the mood to joke now! After living all these years, this is the first time I've heard of such things as past and present lives... Hey, how old were you in your last life?"

Ye Yufan: "...32."

Jiang Bing's eyes widened: "Then you are nearly 50 years old now, damn it!"

Ye Yufan: "..."

Jiang Bing: "I'll call you the boss!"

Ye Yufan: "Be good."

Jiang Bing: "..."

The two were silent for a long time, when a gust of wind blew by, Ye Yufan said, "Why don't you talk?"

Jiang Bing: "...Brother is still digesting."

Ye Yufan: "Oh."

After a long time, Ye Yufan said, "I think you are quite talented in acting."

Jiang Bing: "Really? Brother can also sing."

Ye Yufan: "Let's have a song."

Jiang Bing picked up the cigarette and snorted——

"Today, I watched the snow drift by in the cold night, drifting far away with a cooled heart; chasing in the wind and rain, unable to distinguish the shadows in the fog, the sky and the sea are wide, you and I, can change;..."

His voice was like a melodious violin piece, with the magnetism between a man and a young man, floating in the sky above the vast fields, as if nothing existed.

After the song was over, Ye Yufan was deeply involved: "Do you speak Cantonese?"

Jiang Bing: "No."

Ye Yufan: "Then how can you sing Cantonese songs?"

"I can also sing English," Jiang Bing said softly, "Aystreet, ayhouse, ahole inside my heart...I'mallaloneandtheroomsaregettingsmaller..."

The pronunciation is standard, and the grasp of the empty sound is excellent. It is hard to believe that this is from the mouth of a student who failed in English!

Ye Yufan: "Is it amazing? How did you do it?"

Jiang Bing said with a smile: "Listen to it and follow it twice, it's not difficult."

Ye Yufan: "I'm a person who can sing the national anthem out of tune."

Jiang Bing: "Ha, is that so? Let me listen to the song and see how fast I can run."

Ye Yufan: "Get up, those who don't want to be slaves...cough, no, it feels so strange."

Jiang Bing: "I'll teach you how to sing."

Ye Yufan: "Which one?"

Jiang Bing: "The sea and the sky are vast."

……

The breeze passed, and everything remained the same.

Volume Four: Studying Abroad