Return to the Road of God

Ye Yufan had a dream.

In the dream, his parents quarreled every day and said they were going to divorce.In order to prevent his parents from quarreling, Ye Yufan lied to them, saying that he was mentally ill, in an attempt to attract their attention so that they would not quarrel again.

He was crying, being willful, becoming neurotic, and doing the things he used to hate the most to convince them that he was abnormal.But all of this is because he is acting, he is actually normal.

His parents hired a doctor for him, and he even lied to the doctor!In the end, everyone believed that he was mentally ill, and his parents stopped arguing, caring about him and being nervous about him, and tolerated him in every possible way.

One day, when Ye Yufan went to school, all the classmates gave out new textbooks, but he didn't.The class representative who distributed the textbooks told him that his books were at the head teacher's place, and the head teacher said they couldn't send them to him.The class bell was about to ring, and if there were no textbooks, there would be no class. Ye Yufan hurried to find the head teacher to get the books. When he walked to the door of the office, he heard the teachers discussing about changing his deskmate.

In the dream, his deskmate was not Yang Kai, but Li Shihan.The teachers said that Ye Yufan was mentally ill and could not be allowed to sit with normal students.

Ye Yufan rushed in angrily and shouted to the head teacher, "You dare to replace her!" But he was quickly dragged away by several teachers, and the head teacher showed horror, and shouted: "Catch him quickly! Lock him up! He's manic!"

Ye Yufan broke away from them and fled. He vaguely heard the teachers say behind him: "He ran away, what should we do? Will he be overwhelmed with suicide?"

……

Ye Yufan was wandering outside alone, not wanting to go back to school. He walked to a river, looked at the bottomless river, and really had the idea of ​​suicide at that moment.

He thought, if I die, will they regret it?Will you feel guilty?How could they do this to me?I am not sick!I didn't do anything bad at all!All of this is made up by me, how can they believe it?Don't they have judgment of their own?

……

But after all, he didn't dare to seek death. If he died, wouldn't his wish be fulfilled?

In the evening, when he returned to school, he found that his schoolbag had been left outside. The teacher and classmates were standing nearby. Someone spotted Ye Yufan and excitedly said, "Ye Yufan is back!" But there was nothing on their faces that Ye Yufan imagined. "Guilty" expression, they are laughing, the smile is full of disdain.

"Look, he's back!" "How dare he die!" "Even if he committed suicide, that's his problem, because he's mentally ill!" "That's right, it has nothing to do with us!" "..."

At that moment, all his former brothers, friends, and classmates became his enemies.

The head teacher took a piece of paper and said, "Ye Yufan, you have been expelled. From today onwards, you are no longer a student of our school!"

Ye Yufan asked in shock: "Why! What right do you have to fire me!"

The head teacher said: "Because you are mentally ill, you are a disgrace to our school, and we cannot tolerate your existence!"

Ye Yufan shouted: "I didn't! I made that up! I'm not mentally ill!"

One student sneered and said, "How can you believe what a mental patient says!" That person was his good friend Yang Kai, who stepped on his schoolbag, and other students also came up and kicked Ye Yufan. The book was trampled to pieces.The homeroom teacher remained indifferent, allowing the students to step on Ye Yufan's schoolbag.

Ye Yufan's anger reached its peak, he rushed to pull them, but was dragged away by the head teacher, he punched the head teacher, but the head teacher mocked: "You hit, you hit, if you hit, it means you are violent Tendency! You are mentally ill! Come on, someone has been hit by a mentally ill person!"

"No—! I'm not! I'm not mentally ill! That's me lying—! Why don't you believe what I said! What evidence do you have! Ah—let me go—!"

Ye Yufan was arrested. He saw Li Shihan standing far away, not daring to come forward—even she was afraid of him.

In a trance, Ye Yufan felt a tingling pain all over his body, the cold liquid was injected into his skin, and he lost his strength. A group of people controlled him, laughed at him, and drove him away.

"I don't, I don't..." Ye Yufan was in so much pain that tears flowed down unconsciously, but everyone looked at his pain as if they were watching a psychopath go crazy, they had no sympathy, no pity, they gloated and thought he was a clown .

He was taken away, and there were crowds watching along the way, one of whom was the doctor who diagnosed him, Rui Beinian.He struggled with all his strength: "Doctor Rui, save me, save me!"

Doctor Rui looked at him with a smile.

Ye Yufan shouted: "You know it! You know the truth!"

Dr. Rui said flatly, "Yes, I know."

Ye Yufan: "Help me..."

Dr. Rui: "I know you are sick."

……

Ye Yufan woke up in an instant. He was covered in cold sweat, his face was stained with tears, and his pillow was wet. The despair in his dream had not yet faded away.

He was so uncomfortable that he wanted to cry, to shout to the sky, to vent the pressure and fear in his heart, but he couldn't do this, it was midnight, and his parents were still sleeping next door...

Fortunately, it was a dream, and fortunately he was not arrested...

But even if it wasn't a dream, what could he do?He is no longer who he used to be!

Ye Yufan was lying on the bed crying silently, his body began to move again as he cried and cried, an urge to draw came up from the bottom of his heart—anything is fine, as long as he has a pen in his hand and paper in front of him, let him draw Bar!

Ye Yufan raised his head, put on his coat, turned on the desk lamp, took out a draft paper and began to scribble. He deliberately pressed so hard that the tip of the pen almost scratched the paper, and kept scribbling, scribbling, scribbling with hatred...

"You paint! You paint! I'll let you paint!" He muttered angrily, not knowing who he was angry with.

Ye Yufan wrote faster and faster, and more and more paper was smeared. The negative energy in his body flowed out with the ink in the pen refill. Soon a fountain pen was dried by him, and he changed another one. Only, the hand is running on its own as if it is alive, manipulating the pen to draw various shapes in the mind, straight, bent, curved, curved...

He was depressed, and the lines in his pen were chaotic.

He is comfortable, and the lines in his pen are full and smooth.

Those lines are like his mood, like the language in his body, flowing freely.

Ye Yufan began to cry unconsciously while painting. Hot tears gushed out of his eyes, and he couldn't help it. His body trembled slightly because of some emotion. After a long time, Ye Yufan realized that it was not sadness and anger, but It's like a long-lost emotion.

This discovery made Ye Yufan cry even harder. He cried while drawing: "Why did you appear, why...appeared in my body for no reason...you are such a selfish person!"

"You destroyed my self-confidence, my future, my world! You subverted my thoughts, my preferences, my life..."

"...And you just want to paint blindly, you just want to paint!!!" Ye Yufan murmured, "You just want to paint...you are so selfish..."

"But now, I damn well just want to draw! I can't even draw well, so why did you choose me..."

"It's useless for me to ask why, you have already appeared, you have become a part of me, for me, you are me, I am you, we are just one person..."

"Do you think so, Xia Xiaochuan..."

In the quiet room, there is only the swishing sound of the pen tip rubbing against the paper, which seems to be a silent answer.

That month, Ye Yufan dropped out of Ningcheng Experimental High School.

The day he went back to school for suspension procedures caused quite a stir.

In fact, Ye Yufan hadn't come to class for a long time, but the news of the suspension this time still made a lot of noise.

Some people say that Ye Yufan is special, Ye Yufan can get good grades in the exam even if he is distracted in class, Ye Yufan does not go to school, his parents allow it.

Some people also said that there was something wrong with Ye Yufan. Do you still remember the time when he was in class?Remember when he hit someone for no reason?Remember when he walked out of the classroom and left the campus by himself during class?

Someone asked Yang Kai who knew Ye Yufan best on campus. After all, they had been at the same table for a while. Yang Kai replied weakly, "Ye Yufan forgot what he did in the last second more than once"...

Gossip scattered and rumors spread, and Ye Yufan's image in the eyes of the students became more and more polarized.Those who like Ye Yufan like him even more, those who hate him hate him even more, and they don't hesitate to use the most vicious words to add insult to injury.Comments about Ye Yufan's mental abnormality also followed, and as parents, they must be more inclined to believe the latter, after all, no one wants their children to be different.

The No. 1 student in the city's senior high school entrance examination will suspend school after less than one semester of enrollment?Has this person been hospitalized?What!Still beating someone to play truant?

Parents have wondered whether this city's best high school is worthy of its name?Is your child under too much pressure at school?Can the personal safety of students be guaranteed?Is that student going to be a bad example for his own children to emulate?

……

"Look, this kid's grades were so good, but he became crazy..."

"It's so pitiful. If I were his mother, I would cry to death..."

"I heard that this child is mentally ill? Do you know that you stay away from him!"

"..."

There will always be more and more remarks like this, and people are never responsible for any unintentional slander. Sometimes they don't even know what the truth is, and they don't even understand the difference between mental illness and neurosis.

They commented unscrupulously, talked with a smile, and never considered the mood of the person involved.

Whether he dies or he lives, whether he is normal or abnormal, has nothing to do with him.

……

Ye Yufan went back to school to sort out his books for the last time, and Yang Kai had already changed to a new deskmate.When Ye Yufan said goodbye to him, he bowed his head apologetically.

"Are you leaving?" he asked.

Ye Yufan was actually happy in his heart, after all, Yang Kai didn't trample on his schoolbag viciously like he appeared in his dream, all of this was already much better than in his dream.

"Well," Ye Yufan asked, "how are you doing?"

"It's so-so," Yang Kai said, "The final exam is coming soon, and there are a lot of homework every day."

Ye Yufan smiled: "Come on."

After he said these three words, he wanted to leave, but was stopped by Yang Kai, who looked at him with a sad face and said, "I've been waiting for you to come back... I've been sitting alone, even though it's only been a few weeks. , but it felt so long... Later my mother found out, she called the head teacher to change my deskmate... I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Ye Yufan's eyes did not fall on Yang Kai, but he knew that Yang Kai's family background was not simple.Ye Yufan knew it since he became his deskmate.

Growing up, I don't know how many high-ranking officials were arranged to sit near him because he was outstanding.But he has never analyzed those things, he just needs to maintain this excellence all the time.

...It turns out that there will be a day when I will be abandoned.

"Also, I never thought of hurting you or spreading rumors about you. When they asked me, I was just telling the truth, but I didn't expect it to be spread like this..." Yang Kai felt aggrieved.

Ye Yufan said, "Don't take it to heart."

Yang Kai said: "I'm sorry, Ye Yufan, in fact, I have always admired you, because you have done things that I have never dared to do or could not do."