There is a tiger sniffing the rose in my heart

Jin Ran: "La la la la, I'm going to shoot a commercial, I'm going to be on TV, I'm going to be popular..."

Xiao Hei: "That commercial line is disgusting. The human who wrote the commercial line probably has no brains, and as a hamster, why should we be exposed to the spotlight? We have to eat in full view, and on a table Crawling around like cockroaches, we're hamsters not insects—"

Jinran: "I'm going back to the entertainment circle, flowers, lights, red carpet, reporters, flashing lights, then the life I'm familiar with has finally returned to me. I knew this little hamster body couldn't resist my powerful soul..."

Xiao Hei: "Fatty, I don't quite understand why you have to get so close to humans? Whether it is the master or other people, you always look like you are willing to stay with them. Humans are such complicated creatures, they even Willing to not eat in order to keep my weight at a certain number, you think how horrible that is? The ad you are about to play is said to be junk food, and they actually let garbage on TV, don’t you think it’s insulting You--"

Jinran: "Are you saying my butt is round or not? I think I've lost weight recently and my muscles are a little slack. My butt is not as round as it used to be. It's really annoying. I don't know what angle my butt looks at the camera now. Is the hair seven or eight points better, or the back of the hair is better, or all combed up to look more mature?"

Xiao Hei: "Fatty, if you get too close to humans, you will definitely regret it in the future."

Jinran: "It's been a long time since I saw the spotlight, and I'm a little nervous when I think about it, ah, my poor psychological quality...how can I show that I don't look like I'm on TV for the first time? Urgent, wait online -"

Xiao Hei: "If given the chance, are you fucking ready to speak human words?"

Jinran: "Yes, always be prepared."

Xiao Hei: "..."

Xiao Hei couldn't bear it anymore and smashed the vegetable ring in his hand on the face of the milk tea squatting on the swing not far away with a lewd face, and the latter screamed "嗤" and threw the vegetable ring fragments from it. Amid the angrily accusing it of "you are jealous" with his face slapped down and staring at it with triangular eyes, Heibuyiyi sneered, and glanced at it out of the corner of his eye in disdain, then turned around, stretched out his hand and nimbly rolled into the second wooden house. in his own little room.

Jin Ran was excited for two days before calming down a bit.

Xiao Hei also didn't speak to him for two whole days.

On the last day, the hamster had a good night's sleep holding the endorsement contract document signed by Jiang Chuan's dragon, flying and phoenix dance—that was the day when he found out that Jiang Chuan's real name was "Rayle De Reins", and the surname of Reince It's pretty cool, and it sounds familiar, but I'm not sure if I've heard it somewhere... As for the stupid master's Chinese name, "Jiang" is his mother's surname, and "Jiang Chuan" is also his mother The name I named for him—I think Jiang Chuan’s two names are very nice, and I’m very lucky for Jiang Chuan that he has a knowledgeable mother, otherwise it’s hard to imagine such a handsome face seriously saying to the camera "Hello everyone, my name is Jiang Dali" What kind of picture is it...

After all, foreign friends always like to mess around with Chinese names, just like when everyone was in elementary school, there were always a few classmates around him who almost beat their heads to fight for the name "tom".

Obviously, Fang Yu and Jinran have the same attitude towards Jiang Chuan's name. The manager looked at the contract in his hand and kicked the young man opposite him who was looking down at the script: "I wanted to ask for a long time, Jiang Chuan is a nice name, does it have any special meaning?"

Jiang Chuan, who was reading the script with his head down, thought for a while, then raised his head and replied: "Hai Chuan Baina, great virtue carries things."

Fang Yu: "Very good."

"Really?" Jiang Chuan said, "My father was almost pissed off when he first learned the meaning of the name... He thought my mother was deliberately laughing at him."

Fang Yu asked subconsciously inexplicably, "Why?"

"Because my family is... Forget it, let's not talk about it." Jiang Chuan said, "You don't want to know."

Jiang Chuan made it clear that he was too lazy to say much. Although Fang Yu was curious, he couldn't continue asking—after all, not everyone is as thick-skinned as Yuan Jinran.

The shooting date of the advertisement was set in mid-April. After getting the script, Jiang Chuan began to read the script every day, trying to use mental paralysis to adapt himself to the terrible lines, and then he gave up completely on the seventh day This plan, because he found that it was a mental torture to himself. He couldn't even read the script of "Strange Records of the Republic of China" just by imagining how he acted in this commercial and read this line in his mind every day. up.

My mind is full of "Why am I so stupid" and "Mouse eats yams".

……

Winter turns to spring, and when April approaches, City H seems to belong to the first batch of areas to usher in spring. When the north is still snowing, the plants in this southern city have already begun to sprout green buds, as if overnight When you wake up, the whole city suddenly takes on a new look...

With the weather gradually getting warmer, I don’t know when everyone stopped going everywhere and missed the collective heating in the north. All the staff members of the crew of "Strange Records of the Republic of China" also wore down jackets and were frozen in the cold from the day they started. I have to jump up and down until now I only wear a single shirt and run out to show off in the market.

At the beginning of April, a worse situation appeared - the sky began to rain continuously, and the rain washed this small southern city, and the entire film and television city was shrouded in mist and haze all day long.

When the south wind comes, the whole h city is so humid that it makes people mad. When Jiang Chuan repeatedly urged the life assistant brother to buy new underwear for himself because his underwear was not dry, the bather in the cage The sand also changed from the original three-day change to every day, because it was obviously the bath sand that had just been poured in. When I opened my eyes the next day, I found that the sand had formed a wet lump.

And when everyone is busy, it is not so easy to take care of the hamster, so the sawdust and cotton in the cage can not always be kept dry and comfortable, and sometimes Jinran has to endure the feeling of being wet all over the body, nestled in the hamster wooden house full of thoughts Yes: I'm a fucking rat who wants to act in commercials, why am I still treated like this...

Xiao Hei seemed to be able to cope with it freely.

...Speaking of which, this guy seems to be more comfortable with any situation.

The change of the weather made Jinran less and less fond of staying in the cage, and followed Jiang Chuan to crawl around every day - the staff in the crew seemed to be used to Jiang Chuan's pet hamster coming to watch the filming every day, a little kind My older sister would even bring it some nuts or something to feed it—so I became the happiest living creature in the whole crew—sitting under the canopy and blowing the cool breeze with moist breath, knocking Shaking his calves with melon seeds and almonds, he lay down on Fang Yu's lap and slept for a while when he was full, and waited for the owner to touch him during the intermission. sleep.

As for other humans, they were not so lucky.

They had to endure the torment of "the rain was cold on the body, and they were sweaty and sticky after running two extra steps". The worst thing was that Jiang Luocheng's temper changed as the weather got worse. It is more cruel than before, and the degree of humiliation of the actors after ng every day has also increased... Among them, Wang Mo, who played the woodcutter, and Jiang Chuan, who played Huai Jin, were the most miserable. They were all dressed tightly, and often after a scene, apart from being scolded by Jiang Luocheng from beginning to end, the costumes were covered in sweat, and they couldn't even wear makeup.

"It's not bad. I once filmed an ancient court court scene whose schedule spanned the entire summer. Think about how tightly covered it was? Sometimes when it was a winter scene, it was [-] degrees and you had to wear a padded jacket. I can’t even recall how beautiful the scene was.” Wang Mo said, “People suffer from heatstroke every day, and the worst time was when three of the four main characters fell down... I can shed tears of emotion watching that movie now, and I can live It was great to finish it."

Hearing this, Jiang Chuan subconsciously went to look at Jiang Luocheng who was sitting behind them, and Jiang Luocheng stared back immediately: "Look at that, don't procrastinate and try to find ways to ask for leave for me all day long, finish the filming early and call it a day, and you can save money." Take some blame."

Jiang Chuan: "Oh."

After Jiang Chuan finished speaking, he turned to look at Fang Yu and blinked: Have you not told the director about the advertisement yet?

Fang Yu calmly raised his hand and made a zipper gesture on his mouth: Shut up.

Jiang Chuan: "...Director, let me ask you something."

Holding the lunch box, Jiang Luocheng frowned impatiently and asked, "Ask."

Jiang Chuan: "If one day someone in the crew asks for a leave of absence to earn a day's extra money—"

Jiang Luocheng: "Dead."

Jiang Chuan: "..."

Jiang Chuan turned his head to look at Fang Yu again, and Fang Yu turned his head away while whistling.

……

The days dragged on and finally came to the day when the commercial was filmed in the contract, and the shooting time was scheduled for the afternoon. Seeing that Fang Yu couldn't hide it anymore, he finally mustered up the courage to explain the situation to Jiang Luocheng a week in advance As expected, Jiang Luocheng exploded when he heard the words "asking for a half-day leave", took a deep breath and was about to swear - but when he looked up, he noticed that the person standing in front of him was Fang Yu...

Jiang Luocheng: "..."

Considering that Jiang Chuan has been hacked so badly recently, he may have some sympathy for him, so he reluctantly nodded in agreement in the end.

——Jiang Luocheng said so to the outside world.

"Actually, you are still in Yuan Jinran's favor," Fang Yu said, "If it weren't for the fact that I am Yuan Jinran's manager and you are Yuan Jinran's younger brother, our family members should be crying for us to clean up our bones."

Jiang Chuan: "...it's your idea to accept commercials, don't bring me along."

"You are the main criminal," Fang Yu said impatiently, "I am at most an abettor."

Jiang Chuan: "...I won't be put on small shoes in the future, right?"

"Hey, Chinese has improved, and I know how to wear small shoes." The manager said irresponsibly, "Don't worry, it won't happen. Isn't it Jiang Luocheng's own money to delay the progress, and even if he really wears small shoes Well, you just—"

Jiang Chuan: "?"

Fang Yu: "Jin Ren is over."

Jiang Chuan: "..."

So on the shooting day, after successfully shooting the three prescribed shots in the morning, Jiang Chuan was pushed onto the cart as if being driven onto the shelf. On the way to the studio, he felt as if he was being escorted. Prisoners who go to the execution ground always feel that their fame will be ruined——

"What's the matter, do you still want to jump off the car? You jump, jump," Fang Yu poked the young man sitting beside him with his hand, and the latter turned his head calmly and looked at him like a madman. The intimidation failed, and the agent tried to persuade, "Look at how entangled you are, you are so entangled... How difficult it is to act in an advertisement, can you face Jiang Luocheng's difficulty? And the manufacturer is so caring, just Let you just sit there and finish reading that string of lines expressionlessly, and then eat two bites of potato chips, and you’re done. If it takes ten seconds before and after, you can get 20—make it clear, brother, 20, you’re a newcomer It should really be a celebration to get this price..."

"It's not about money."

"Yes, there is also the issue of popularity - from now on you will be able to get rid of the status of Internet celebrity. Do you know how the Internet laughs at you now? They say that you are only 1.5 meters tall, so you only dare to sit and take pictures."

"..."

"Really, do you want to search and show it to you?" Fang Yu made a gesture to take out his mobile phone, "The key word is 'Jiang Chuan 1.5 meters'——"

"Didn't you let me see these things?"

"I think you urgently need to know the seriousness of the problem now."

"No, I will obediently go to shoot the commercial."

"That's good, oh, I remember wrongly, 1.5 meters is talking about another Internet celebrity who has a dog, not you."

"Can owning a dog become an internet celebrity?"

"Yeah, and he's redder than you."

"..."

"Do you know how disrespectful it is to be an Internet celebrity? It doesn't matter, after you act in this commercial, you will be more popular than him."

"It will be played."

"good."

The dialogue between the manager and the artist was so beautiful that the little assistant sitting in the front passenger seat helplessly stretched out his hand to cover his face, trying to cover his morals and three views that might have been lost to the horizon, suddenly After a pause, he looked at the rearview mirror and sat there with a serious face. He analyzed the "seriousness of the situation" with Fang Yu, who was also serious with Jiang Chuan, and asked sincerely: "Brother Fang, if you lose your job in the future, You won’t be taking the path of illegal crimes like cheating and abducting, will you?”

Fang Yu: "Do I, Fang Yu, look like that kind of person?"

Assistant: "Like."

Fang Yu made a gesture to hit someone, and the little assistant quickly shrank his neck. At this moment, the driver slammed on the brakes, and the car flicked to a stop in front of Shang Jiajia's advertising department building. The driver said, "Here we are."

……

As Fang Yu introduced, Shangjiajia is indeed a well-known local tyrant and large enterprise in China—just from the fact that their advertising department can occupy the entire office building alone, the momentum of spending money like water can be felt. Kaizi breath.

When Jiang Chuan and the others got out of the car, the person in charge had already led the team to wait outside. They were naturally very happy to see Jiang Chuan and the others arrived on time. After meeting them, they looked around and asked with a smile, "Where's that hamster?"

As soon as the words fell, I saw the tall man wearing a peaked cap who had been silent all the way behind Fang Yu slightly pushed up the brim of his hat, revealing the perfect curve of his jaw under the shadow, and then he walked slowly from He took out a bunch of fluffy things from his clothes pocket, and said in a low voice: "Here, I put it in my pocket."

The Shangjiajia staff looked at each other, all of them were so embarrassed that they didn’t know what to say—fortunately, the person in charge bravely stepped forward at this time and said: “Mr. From that photo, we guessed that you must pay attention to the spiritual communication with your pet on weekdays—"

"The weather is humid, and it doesn't want to stay in the cage, so it walks around with it." Jiang Chuan said honestly.

Then, as expected, the scene fell into an eerie silence.

Enter the imposing building.

Take the elevator directly to the floor where the studio is located - the first thing you see when the elevator door opens is a large screen, on which is the concept promotional film of "Shushu", which is nothing more than "Shushu comes from natural fertile soil "Every potato has been carefully selected by hand", "first-class factory facilities, hygienic production process" and a series of narration lines. After finishing the concept promotional film, he walked through a long corridor and came to the studio at the end of the corridor.

It is worth mentioning that the corridors are full of artistic photos of various types of snacks produced by Shangjiajia Foods - starting from the earliest "Shangjiajia Tacos", when arriving at the studio, the most recent photo frame is Empty, the person in charge said, when the advertisement is finished shooting, there will be an artistic photo of "Shushu" hanging here - Fang Yu smiled and praised them for "too much corporate atmosphere and enthusiasm", "very creative", "I am really looking forward to our You must send me a copy of the art photo of Shushu, and Jiang Chuan did not say a word from the beginning to the end. In fact, when he saw the first "art photo of puffed food", he already felt that this The whole building is full of lunatics.

The studio is very lively, photographers, makeup artists, directors, and all kinds of people are in their positions.

The stylist prepared Jiang Chuan four different sets of clothes for the four seasons of spring, summer, autumn and winter in Boao. Jiang Chuan obediently changed into the first set of plaid clothes and otaku trousers. He put on black-rimmed glasses at the bottom of a heavy beer bottle, took an afro wig, and powdered his originally dark skin to make him pale. Jiang Chuan looked in the mirror and looked at himself. I was taken aback, wondering where the dead otaku came from.

He turned his head and asked Fang Yu, "How do I look?"

"It's so dusty." Fang Yu said honestly.

Jiang Chuan: "..."

The creative idea of ​​the entire advertisement of "Shushu" is that the background of the entire advertisement will be divided into four different seasons, which will be played in turn in the form of slideshows drawn by children - and in each season, Jiang Chuan must change into different clothes to represent They have different occupations—the homeboy who loves potato chips, the student who loves potato chips, the athlete who loves potato chips, and the urban white-collar worker who loves potato chips...

The script is recorded once for each look, and then edited and synthesized in the later stage. In the eyes of the audience, it looks like a man sitting on the edge of a table, changing four looks back and forth, and then retaining a line for each look. No.'s lines have been spoken in succession.

Jiang Chuan couldn't believe that he had to recite such a stupid line four times in a serious manner-but because everyone else was here and weak and unable to resist, he could only obediently follow the arrangements of those people in the end, and endured the most difficult situation in his life. The ugly figure came to the white square table in the center of the studio. At this time, there was a computer, a bag of potato chips on the table, and a hamster was squatting next to the potato chips. The hamster was eating the bag of potato chips with great appetite. .

Hamsters don't know what it's like to be sad.

Jiang Chuan opened the bag of potato chips on the table, and then threw the potato chips on the table according to the instructions of the staff—the small potato chips in the packaging bag were scattered all over the table with a clatter, and the hamster happily stepped forward with short legs to hug him. I took a bite of the piece that was closest to me...

The director is a kind-hearted fat man, squatting behind the monitor at the moment, raised his hand and made a gesture with Jiang Chuan - the latter sat down after understanding, the director said: "!"

Jiang Chuan hesitated, and casually recalled what the otaku in his memory looked like, so he kept typing quickly on the keyboard with one hand. Reached out, snatched the potato chips from the arms of the hamster who was squatting on the table and gnawed on the potato chips, and calmly threw the potato chips into his mouth through the triangular white eyes of the latter, and chewed Next, said blankly: "Zhizhi, Zhizhi——"

"Crack!"

Jiang Chuan immediately stopped chewing and turned his head - the food in his mouth felt like vomiting, but after thinking about it, he seemed to be surrounded by a group of lunatics "full of corporate atmosphere and enthusiasm", so he grunted and put Potato Chips swallowed and asked, "What?"

"You don't need to read the first line before, but it will be added later. You can start from the second line - the idea of ​​grabbing food from the hamster's hand is good. If possible, please make an exaggerated snatching action, and then when snatching you can The second line is about to start, and the tone should be more urgent, have you ever seen an otaku go crazy?"

Jiang Chuan: "..."

Director: "Camera No. [-] zooms in on the screen for a while, paying attention to the close-up of that hamster."

In the director's thoughts, Jiang Chuan silently watched the hamster raise his paw to wipe the hair on the top of his head when he heard the word "close-up", and shook his buttocks. Jiang Chuan: "..."

Probably an illusion.

After all, after the founding of the People's Republic of China, animals were not allowed to become fine.

Jiang Chuan withdrew his attention, nodded to indicate that he understood the director's meaning, and at this time the director gestured to come again——

Jiang Chuan thought for a while, and simply didn't sit on the chair again. He raised his butt slightly, and kept his right hand on the keyboard of the laptop. Then, when the director announced the start, he began to type quickly, waited for a while, and counted silently. When it was time to add the first sound effect later, he stretched out his other hand and grabbed the potato chips in the hamster's hand with all his teeth and claws. When he said the lines of "rat eats potatoes", he leaned back in a posture of falling to the ground, and at the same time, the potato chips snatched from the hamster's paw fell into his mouth.

At the same time as the potato chips were in the mouth, the hamster squatting on the dining table broke out in acting, angrily kicking the scattered potato chips on the table with his paws——

Jiang Chuan sat down firmly, leaned down and picked up a piece of potato chips, leaned in front of the hamster, poked the hamster's round belly with the potato chips, and said with a smile: "You take a bite, I take a bite, I will feed the hamster to eat potatoes. "

The director yelled "click" contentedly.

The expression on Jiang Chuan's face immediately disappeared without a trace.

"Wow, that hamster is good at acting."

"It's super cute!"

"This newcomer also acted very well, and he handles the details of the action very well-as expected of someone from Director Jiang's crew."

"Ha ha ha ha."

The surrounding staff excitedly began to discuss in a low voice. The director sat behind the monitor and watched for a while without speaking. After watching the performance of the hamster and the end of Jiang Chuan, he finally happily announced the details of the first suit. Even if the plot is over—the director and Jiang Luocheng are completely on two routes, and now they are full of praise for Jiang Chuan's acting skills, saying: "The small details I added are very creative, and the performance of your personal story is very good. features!"

——The last few words directly caused Jiang Chuan, whose face was already very stiff, when he walked down from the camera, his face was blacker than the bottom of the pot, but Fang Yu approached him desperately and asked him, "How do you feel?"

"If you ask me to accept this kind of mentally retarded advertisement in the future, I will hold you and jump off the top floor of the im building." Jiang Chuan took off his thick beer bottle bottom prop glasses, and stared at the agent with those beautiful blue eyes Mr. Ren said blankly, "I'm serious."

In fact, Jiang Chuan's eyes are very lethal.

But unfortunately, at this moment, he forgot to take off the wig on his head—so he watched the agent standing in front of him stare at him with a fixed expression for a while, and then his face suddenly twisted , Immediately afterwards, he laughed wildly with a "poof" without warning, holding the table "hahahahaha" until tears burst out, Jiang Chuan was so angry that he was about to go crazy, and put the wig and props and glasses on the manager's head Throw it away, and then angrily go to change into the second set of clothes.

The second set of clothes is the school uniform.

Of course, it is the kind of suit-style school uniform that only appears in idol dramas—this time when Jiang Chuan came out of the fitting room, the entire staff was silent for a while, and the man pulled impatiently as he walked over. Pulling the collar of the white shirt under the school uniform jacket, she frowned slightly and asked the makeup artist girl: "Do you want to change your makeup?"

Looking at the pair of azure eyes, the makeup artist girl was broken for five seconds, and only in the sixth second did she realize that the handsome guy in front of her was talking to herself, nodded quickly, and changed Jiang Chuan's makeup again Face——this time, they kept Jiang Chuan's original skin color, but slightly softened the contours of his cheeks with foundation, and made his hair black. After some tossing, Jiang Chuan looked much younger.

It's really a bit of a student atmosphere.

"Wow, Mr. Jiang, if you put out this ad, you will get a lot of student fans, I promise!" The makeup artist girl said while doing it, "It's so handsome, when I was studying, the school grass grew in my dream You are like a model like a textbook."

After Jiang Chuan heard this, the stiff expression on his face softened a little.

He turned his head and looked at his own hamster who was squatting on the dressing table and gnawing potato chips. After looking at the hamster for a while, he didn't know what was wrong with him, so he suddenly bent down and asked: " Ah Fei, am I handsome?"

Under the gaze of the man, the hamster holding the potato chips and gnawing furiously paused for a second.

Then it silently broke the potato chips in its hand——

"Really? That's good." Jiang Chuan straightened up with satisfaction.

The makeup artist girl was dumbfounded: "...What do you mean?"

Jiang Chuan glanced at himself in the glasses, and said calmly, "My Ah Fei just said: Master is so handsome."

The hamster held up its paws and shook its buttocks.

Makeup artist girl: "..."