Social animals don't deserve love

"I'm fine, let me go, Dazai-kun."

The young Mr. Sakaguchi stood outside his house and tried again and again to drive away his old friends.

"Are you sure you still have things like keys?"

The other party definitely showed all the patience that was left in this life, and it was rare that he was calm and free from yin and yang.

The young man in a sand-colored windbreaker took out a wire from his pocket, and after a crisp "click", the door of the house that had been dusty for half a year opened silently.

Neat, clean, and well-organized, there are two pairs of fluffy slippers under the shoe cabinet in the entrance, the pink blue ones are as new as if they were just taken out of the bag, but the pink yellow ones are older.

Dazai Osamu was like a normal bachelor who was invited to a friend's house at this moment, waiting for a long time in a polite manner, until the host finally found the hospitality slippers from the cabinet and threw them out: "Excuse me."

Walking through the entrance is the dining and living room. The area is small. The cabinets originally used to store ingredients and tableware are neatly placed with paints that can cure obsessive-compulsive disorder.

He stood here admiring it for a while, then touched the power switch and pulled the switch.

"Snapped."

The living room lights were on, illuminating the gloomy winter sky.

There was half an unfinished watercolor sketch on the work table, and the paint in the palette had completely dried up.The owner left for the last time and never came back, so these paints can only stay here lonely.

The bandaged palm turned the pages of these paintings and admired them carefully. The soft voice seemed to be afraid to scare anyone and praised with a smile: "Miss Fubuki, you are a very good painter."

No one responded to his praise, even if two big living people stood here, the room was still surrounded by coldness and loneliness.

The bedroom is a very private territory. Considering the host's mood, he didn't open the door to enter immediately. He took two steps forward and chose the study to continue searching.

The bookshelves that are responsible for the wall are full of books. Osamu Dazai picked one at random and wiped the spine of the book—it was very clean. Someone must carefully clean and maintain it every day, so that it is still spotless after half a year.

The books on the outermost three sets of bookshelves looked like professional books belonging to the male owner. After glancing at the names, he said that he didn't want to read it, and wanted to die when he opened it.Only the books in the innermost group of bookshelves... are very interesting: children's books, mystery novels, essays, poetry, light novels, doujinshi, everything, and there are four characters uniformly printed on the name of the illustrator - Sakaguchi Blowing snow.

The lines are delicate and smooth, and the colors are brilliant and pleasing to the eye. From the painter's brushwork, it can be seen that the painter is a woman full of ideas but gentle and yearning for tomorrow.

But she has no tomorrow.

On the top of the bookshelf, there are neatly stacked manuscript papers separated by file folders.

It's both strange and not surprising that this thing is on a painter's shelf.

If she's illustrating an upcoming novel, it's normal and reasonable to read the novel.But no writer just sends his manuscript to someone else.

The height of the manuscript paper is difficult for a person who is less than 1.6 meters tall, but it is not a problem for a person who is more than 1.8 meters tall.He chose to take down the yellowed-looking manuscript paper to look it up, and the familiar handwriting made this young man who had no plan left a rare place in confusion.

Quickly turn to the front page, the author, Oda Sakunosuke.

"..."

The other stack of manuscript paper is the ready-to-print version after revision and proofreading. The person who corrected the content for him even wrote a preface and attached it to the front.

In the midst of loneliness and pain, some people can endure and walk alone for promises.

What is it if the moment you get what you want means losing it?

On the following manuscript paper, the book binding, illustrations, and the protagonist's design were carefully marked... All the publishing work of a book was silently completed by one person.

"Sorry... didn't find out sooner..."

I don't know you. I want to know you now, but it's too late.

There was no one in the room, but it was full of figures of the hostess coming and going.

She was probably wearing a home sweater and long skirt, holding a water glass, stepping barefoot on the tatami mat, or scribbling on the drawing paper, or burying her head in the messy manuscript paper, biting the penholder and thinking hard about what to write.

Exiting the study room, the male owner of this house sat silently beside the kotatsu in the middle of the living room, with the corners of his mouth pursed and his hands brushing the colorful patterns on the quilt unconsciously.

"Enough, Ango."

He could forcefully interrupt the folly of the other to no avail, but didn't do that.

No need.

"I'm fine, Dazai-kun, you can go."

【Degenerate Theory】Under the influence of Fubuki, he repeats his life day after day, a quiet and lonely life that he has neglected and abandoned.

When you are newly married, you can basically commute to get off work normally.We are woken up by the alarm clock every morning, burdock thick egg fried chicken nugget octopus sausage, cauliflower rice ball wrapped in seaweed with a sour plum hidden in the stomach.When he walks out with a lunch box, his wife will gently and seriously help him straighten his shirt and tie, and he will fall obediently when the corners of his clothes are folded and patted by her, and he will not look rude all day long.

Under the power, he saw a long time ago, after the other person left, she was slowly sitting at the dining table, eating breakfast and reading a book.

The smile is getting weaker and weaker, the light in the eyes is getting less and less, and the time spent alone is getting more and more... Suddenly one day she raised her hand to cover the side of her face, and frowned her beautiful light eyebrows.

After a long time, maybe soon, the friend who had reluctantly sent him back home from the Supernatural Secret Service had also closed the door and left, leaving him alone in the space called "home".

The oranges in the fruit plate had turned from vermilion to dark brown, with hard skins, and when you picked them up, you could hear a crackling sound.When you pinch the outer shell, you can see one petal after another withered and shriveled flesh shrunk in the blackened veins, and some dead seeds—they are the ones that make the sound, and they hit the peel and veins with the shaking.

He gently placed the small dark purple pot in the other hand on the kotatsu: "I'm back."

"I am back."

"I am back."

"I am back……"

Then turned his head, waiting to hear the joyful "You're back!"

There was no response, no sound, the room was silent.

Loneliness is like a wet pond. He slowly lay sideways on the floor, just like lying in the pool water deliberately to attract his father's attention when he was young.

No one will light up the lamp late at night to add clothes for him, no one will doze off to accompany his night reading, no one will gently test the temperature of the tea with the back of his hand, and no one will be cute and tilt his head in confusion Explain why the rice balls are either salty or bland.

"Flower, I'm back, and I won't leave again, okay?"

Except for the wind blowing through the window lattice, there was no answer.

The small dark purple earthen pot sat on the kotatsu in a round shape, as if they were huddled together yesterday to play flop cards.

The flower cards are also drawn by the wife herself, and each one is different.

I lost the most important person.

The youngest official from the Ministry of Internal Affairs took off his glasses and buried his head in his arms. Where should I find her...

In the afternoon Dazai came again to inform him to go to the hospital together.

Yes, I have to go get her used things back.

"Which one is Mr. Sakaguchi?" The little nurse at the nurse's station moved her eyes between the two men who were about the same height, and just stopped on the sand for a few seconds, another young man in a suit and leather shoes replied in a low voice: "I am."

"..."

The truth that people should not be judged by their appearance is considered to be learned today.

"Miss Fuxue's case, that, other information, and..." She pointed to a bag that was almost thrown away and nodded at him: "Everything is in it, the social worker came to help, if there is anything missing, please check it out Leave a message in time."

"should not……"

"I'll take a look!"

The sand-colored windbreaker floated over and hung on the ground. The bandaged young man opened the bag and searched carefully, but still couldn't find what he was looking for.

"Dazai-kun, what's the problem?"

If Fubuki really died of a simple illness, why would the only person with anti-abnormal abilities monitor his actions throughout the whole process, and even the relics had to be inspected.

"Ah, no, nothing."

The investigator of the Armed Detective Agency jumped up from the ground: "I thought Miss Fubuki would leave a suicide note or something. If it was me, I would definitely yell at the irresponsible guy, but unfortunately no."

Described by almost the most irresponsible man in Yokohama, Ango Sakaguchi couldn't find the right words to fight back.

The eyes of nurses and doctors with contempt and contempt are like maggots attached to bones, like needles piercing their eyes.

He rearranged the messed up items one by one, held them in his hands and got up and looked at the little nurse: "Excuse me, I want to go to the ward to have a look."

"It's been sorted out and sterilized, and you won't see anything even if you go." I wanted to say, "I'm going to show this picture to someone now, so what should I do earlier?" If it wasn't for the fact that I was still wearing nurse uniform ...

The other party took out the ID from the inner pocket of the suit and shook it in front of her: "Please cooperate with the investigation."

As a public official of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, there is no reason to refuse the "investigation" request made by the other party.

"..." The nurse choked up twice in silence, then turned and walked to the nurse's station: "Wait! I'll report to the police."

Sure enough, the ward has been cleaned up, and new patients will come in soon. Through the window, you can see the evergreen shrubs outside and the rhododendrons in bud.

Ango Sakaguchi was sitting by the window, and what he saw in "Theory of the Fall" was his wife sitting alone on the opposite hospital bed, making helpless phone calls over and over again.

"You really have to invite your family over here." The doctor left this sentence helplessly, and Chuuxue always pursed her lips and smiled: "I see."

Why can I be so relieved that I haven't contacted her even by a phone call?Is a private phone malfunction the reason?Is busy work an excuse?Is there a reason to protect the city?

Maybe it's a reason, but it's just a reason. Those who should listen to his explanation, his apology and his confession can't hear it anymore.No matter what he wanted to say to her, she would just sit with her knees hugged by the window and look out of the window quietly, waiting for someone who would never be able to wait.

"I'm sorry... I'm really, really back this time..."

Her silhouette was always sitting there, looking out and waiting without moving.