[Journey to the West] The Poor Monk Xuanzang

I swayed back and forth in the cave to the left, and unexpectedly found a magazine with four large characters written in Monster Weekly.

I was curious, so I opened it and looked at it.

Well, the first page.

How to be a long-lived monster?

Welcome to this week's "How to Be a Longevity Monster".

How to be a long-lived monster is a serious problem, and it is also a trouble that most compatriots have after they have enlightened their spiritual wisdom.

This week's recommended food in this column is Tang Monk Meat. [I found that the word "Tang Seng Meat" is circled here. 】

Everyone knows that there are flat peaches, ginseng fruit, longevity pills, and birthday cakes that can prolong life in this world.

As for the first two, everyone can only drool (ps. If you can eat it, don’t jump out and look for it.)

We can't see it from behind.

Recently, the Tang Monk's trip to the west to learn scriptures has caused a sensation in the entire demon world, and the theory that eating Tang Monk's meat can lead to immortality has become very popular.

This incident even led to a rise in housing prices on the way to learn Buddhist scriptures.

But because no one has eaten it yet, we still don't know whether this statement is true or not.

But we can analyze the authenticity of this news from the source of the news.

(some evidence is omitted here)

To sum up, whether Tang Monk meat can live forever.

Credibility: ????

Suggestion: It doesn't matter if it's real or not, just eat it if you can get one. (Friendly reminder: Beware of monkeys.) Next to it is a chubby Monkey King portrait.

I shook my hand and turned the page again.

At the beginning, there is a series of question marks.

Who will the Tang monk meat fall into?

Is there a conspiracy to say that eating Tang monk meat can lead to immortality?

Is the food safety of Tang monk meat guaranteed?

Welcome to this week's "Pa Yi Pa".

The master and apprentice of Tang Seng, who has caused a sensation in the demon world recently, has arrived in the territory of Mrs. Bone. Whether Mrs. Bone can successfully capture Tang Seng and eat it successfully, this week, the demon world has set up more than a hundred times of large and small gambling games on this topic.

Here, the editor reminds everyone that a small gamble for pleasure and a big gamble can hurt your body, especially for fellows with unstable morals, if you lose, you will lose your family and property, and the trouble will be small.

A few days ago, a little demon reported that he had diarrhea for 30 days after eating Tang Dynasty monks, and he almost died.This matter has aroused the attention of the majority of compatriots.

Is Tang monk meat poisonous?In other words, what is the quality and safety of monks in the Tang Dynasty? This is a question worth pondering.

First of all, the editor will lead you to take a look at Tang Seng's living conditions.

As for Tang Xuanzang, his father was killed by robbers, his mother was occupied by robbers, and he was thrown into a small wooden basin and drifted down the river.

This little poor man was adopted by an old monk with bad taste in the temple. Such an adventure has just made the Tang monk meat that we are said to be able to live forever.

To mention the quality of Tang Seng's meat, one has to consider Tang Seng's food for so many years.

The editor specially interviewed the mouse spirit who has lived in the temple for 20 years. The fellow said: The food in the temple is really terrible. (God, please make me make a shocked face.)

(A few words of complaints about the bad food are omitted here, and a history of the miserable life of the Rat Race in the temple can be written)

So the question is, is Tang Monk meat safe?

Prediction of safety level of Tang monk meat: ?????

Prediction of the use level of Tang monk meat: ? ? ? ? ? (numerical burst table)

Prediction of taste grade of Tang monk meat: ?

Prediction of Tang Monk Poisonous Meat:?

Suggestion: First of all, you have to have a Tang Seng.

I shook the goosebumps all over my body and turned another page.

The big bright red title scared me so much that I almost threw the book out——"Tang Priest Eats Meat". "

Welcome to this week's "Gourmet World". Recently, Tang Seng has become famous in the demon world. In order to increase the sales of this magazine "Monster Weekly", the editor has to catch up with the fashion.

Recently, the editor interviewed ten big monsters and ten little monsters, asking the same question: If you had a Tang Seng, how would you eat it?

The statistical results shocked the editor (because the interviewed channel did not want to disclose his name, he had to use the number instead):

Big monster 1, big monster 6, little monster 3, little monster 5: eat steamed.

Big monster 2, big monster 4, big monster 9, little monster 1: cook and eat.

Big Monster 3: Pickle and eat.

Other monsters: eat directly.

Look, look at the statistics, look at the answers, the editor almost passed out. After the interview last night, the editor fell into worry about the food standards of my compatriots in the demon world.

This is Tang Monk meat!Tang monk meat!I reiterate again that this is Tang Monk meat! ! (grievous face, growling)

Tang monk meat, which is said to be as effective as flat peach and ginseng fruit, are you planning to eat it raw? !

God, let the editor tell you the correct way to eat Tang Monk meat.

Tang monk meat braised in soy sauce, colorful.

Boiling live Tang monks is the best way to keep the umami. ←It’s circled here with a pen

Stir-fried Tang Monk Meat with Garlic, this is a lovely home-cooked dish.

Sweet and sour Tang monk spare ribs, I believe this will be the favorite of some compatriots.

Cold Tang's monk meat, retain the most original taste of Tang's monk meat.

Suggestion: If you really have a Tang Seng, you can eat it anyway.

There is an imaginary picture after each eating method. I stared at the boiled living Tang Seng for a few seconds, and decisively closed the "Monster Weekly".

"What is the holy monk looking at?" The golden-horned monster swayed towards me, with a friendly face.

I could swear I just saw the deep desire for meat in his eyes.

"Amitabha." I threw the terrible "Monster Weekly" far away, then clasped my hands together, and decided to read scriptures for a while to calm down.

Just at this time, two little monsters who were sent out to pretend to be Monkey King came back.

The silver-horned monster sat on the chair with a golden knife, shook his head and asked, "Have you caught Sun Xingzhe?"

Hearing this sentence, the two little monsters instantly became three inches shorter, dripping with cold sweat.

The two walked forward tremblingly, knelt down on the ground with a plop, knocked their heads loudly, and said straightly: "Small sins deserve ten thousand deaths, small sins deserve ten thousand deaths."

"Huh?" The two big monsters looked at each other, and the smiles on their faces gradually faded.

"What's going on?" The golden-horned monster asked coldly.

The two young men shuddered for a moment, and hurriedly confessed: "The two of us took the treasure to catch the Sun Walker, and we met an old fairy on the way."

"The old god said that he was also angry with Sun Xingzhe, so he went with us to put Sun Xingzhe in his gourd."

"We thought that his gourd could hold people and heaven, so we wanted to exchange our treasure with him. Unexpectedly, after the exchange, both the gourd and the person disappeared."

When the two little demons said this, they kowtowed and begged for mercy.

"That's all! That's all! I think I was deceived by the fake god pretending to be that monkey." Jin Jiao said, "Let's not eat this Tang monk meat, and just put it back together with that pig's head and that monk Sha as a favor."

"Brother, this monkey is really rude. It's fine for him to escape, but he still lied to my baby, how can I spare him!" Yin Jiao kicked the two young men to the ground angrily.

"You two! Go and invite the old lady to eat Tang's monk meat, and teach her to bring a gold rope to fetch Sun Xingzhe!"

The two young men looked at each other, as if they couldn't believe that they escaped unharmed like this.

"Hurry up!" Silver Horn said angrily.

The two little demons jumped up and ran away as if flying.

Yinjiao seemed to be overwhelmed, and waved his hand and said, "Come here, tie up this monk Tang!"

"...My dear brother," Jin Jiao grabbed him, "We have to leave a way out for ourselves."

"Brother, how can you grow up other people's ambitions and destroy your own prestige, so how can you make things happen?" Seeing that Wu Xiaoyao stepped forward to make a move, Yinjiao simply took a rope and tied me round and round. At the end, he clapped his hands and said : "This Tang monk meat, I am sure to eat it!"

"You... oh! It doesn't matter!" Jin Jiao let out a long sigh and had no choice but to let him go.