Psychological Control

In the cabin, I changed into a bathrobe and leaned against the head of the bed, watching Dillon sit and do push-ups on the floor between the two beds.The photographer who followed us has already withdrawn. Obviously, the program team really wants to give us a good rest.

After lunch, I spent a lot of free time lying motionless on the bed.Basking in the sunshine falling from the window of the wooden house facing the sea, for the first time, I felt that Fiji is really a popular tourist resort.The life on the uninhabited island on weekdays really proves that the Survivor program has not taken the wrong name.

"You really have strength." I watched Dillon weakly after doing a hundred push-ups, and then turned around to sit up again.

Hearing my words, Dillon paused temporarily.Sitting with his hands on the ground behind him, he turned his face to look at me. "It's my habit to maintain a certain amount of physical exercise every day. The intensity of survivors is really nothing compared to the amount of training in the army. Besides, do you really plan to lie in bed for an afternoon?"

"No..." I shrank back into the bed, answering him with a hesitant tone.I know what he means, because this resort has special services like man-made hot springs and relaxing massages.These are also included in the rewards, and it would be a waste not to enjoy them.When we had a meal before, we proposed to try it together.

But this soft quilt is so comfortable and so tempting.I haven't been on the ground since I went back to my room after eating and went to bed.For a while, I really wanted to sleep until tomorrow and sleep with him for more than ten hours.

"Come down and help me put my legs down. Don't keep lying on the bed. You will only sleep more and more sleepy. You still have enough sleep time at night. If you sleep too much now, you will suffer if your muscles relax too much." Dillon suggested .

I don't know when it started, maybe it started after the merger.Before I knew it, getting along with Di Lon became very natural.Especially when we don't have a stake in it, the atmosphere we spend together doesn't feel like we're in a social game of intrigue at all.

Because I am in front of him, I don't need to deliberately maintain that kind of pretended friendly gesture.Dillon knew about Rhett and I's tricks and ambitions from the very beginning, so it didn't matter if I pretended or not.

But even if we get along so naturally, helping him to press his legs... being so close to him face to face while he does sit-ups? ...Because of Dillon's suggestion, I felt my expression froze suddenly, and a row of thoughts ran out of my mind.

"Come on, there are people on your feet to help you do sit-ups without tiring your lower back." Dillon urged naturally.

To be honest, I still can't tell whether Dillon is curvy or straight.Because of my contact with him, he behaved so naturally.Natural enough to make me feel a little paranoid.But sometimes, some conversations sounded like flirting to my ears.Hesitating, I sat up straight and moved to the edge of the bed and got out of bed.

Kneeling down in front of him, I put my hands on his ankles.It may be because he has been exercising, his skin is very hot, and the stimulation of my cold fingers made his knees bent and his legs couldn't help but retract.

When I got closer, I could smell the scent of the shower gel on his body after the previous bath, which was evaporated by the heat after the exercise.Seeing that I was pinning the back of his feet, Dillon laid his upper body back on the ground.I watched him put his hands up on the back of his head, his short sleeves pulled up to emphasize the muscles in his arms.

The abdominal muscles can also be easily seen, and as he raised his hand, the hem of the clothes was pulled up, revealing the white edge of a pair of Jackwill's black boxer briefs.Then he started his sit-ups.

Together and one fall, and another fall together.He did it quickly, and every time he got up, he brought a gust of wind.The wind was filled with the smell of his shower gel, and the sound of his breathing getting heavier and heavier.I suddenly didn't know where to put my gaze, so I deliberately turned my head to look out of the window.From this angle, I can only see the cloudless sky.

I didn't look sideways, but my ears were full of the sound of his panting while exercising.His breathing rate is very regular, inhaling when lying on his back and exhaling when sitting up.Because I have to lean my whole body forward to ensure that I can suppress his movements.So when he sat up, the distance between our heads became very close.

If a man I met in a nightclub asked me to press his legs to help him do a round of sit-ups, I would look at him without any hesitation.Because I know that this is the purpose of the other party, to show my charm, and let the ambiguous atmosphere ignite the spark between the two.

But when the person in front of him turned into Dillon, a soldier.A man who doesn't know whether it is straight or curved, or an opponent who is also in the game.I became overwhelmed.If everything is just my superfluous intentions, wouldn't it be too embarrassing for him to see my further performance?

I always feel that the ambiguous behavior towards Chris at the beginning has retribution on myself in turn.

The momentary loss of focus and the thoughts in my mind were all related to Dillon, which made me unknowingly turn my gaze back from staring out the window.I didn't even notice at first, I was just staring at Dillon's rise and fall.

"Brian, did you fall asleep with your eyes open?" until Dillon's voice and his movements brought me back to my senses.One of his hands was still behind his head, but he put one hand on my hair... and rubbed it! ! !

"What are you doing!" I was shocked and quickly let go of the hand that was pressing on his leg, and opened the hand on my head.My voice was so loud that I startled myself.Then I saw Dillon with a low smile retracting the hand I had knocked off, rubbing the back of his hand myself.

"Sorry... I was in a daze just now... I was taken aback by you." I added an explanation dryly. "Don't move my head, I don't like people touching my hair."

"Ha...it's okay. It's my fault, I shouldn't mess with your hair." Dillon let out a low laugh from the bottom of his throat, and after I released his ankle with both hands, he stood up on one hand . "But your hair is really soft."

Brian's hair is really smooth.When I wash my hair, my hair will be so soft that even with styling products, it will be difficult to keep my style for more than an hour.That's often a conundrum for stylists on America's Next Top Model.

But that's not the point!The point is, Brian's scalp is too sensitive!As long as I was gently fiddled with my hair when I was not paying attention.The feeling that every strand of hair is lifted and put down makes me tremble all over.Just now Dillon's ten fingers sank into the roots of my hair, and he made a smooth movement, which gave me a feeling of pleasure spreading from the shoulder blades to the scalp.

I almost just now... that unsteady vibrato has reached my throat, and I forcibly suppressed it back.If I really accidentally made a fool of myself in front of Di Lon because of this kind of thing, how embarrassing I would be when I face him in the future.

"Are you finished exercising? Let's go to the hot spring." I changed the subject calmly and said.

"Okay, let me take a shower first to wash off the sweat on my body, and change into a bathrobe." Dillon shrugged and agreed.Then he walked around me and headed to the bathroom.

Damn...stupid...stupid...

While Dillon showered, I sat at the end of the bed with my face buried in my hands, cursing myself over and over in my head.There was something about Dillon that was so appealing to someone like me.That kind of mature, calm and sexy feeling, sometimes has a sense of wild danger.So when he was by my side, it was hard for me to ignore his presence.

Accompanied by the sunset bubble hot spring, the fatigue of the whole body is relaxed.

I sat diagonally across from Dillon, not directly across from the furthest distance.This avoids unintentional eye contact and eye contact between the two.And for the photographer who is back at work, the lens can easily capture the frontal faces of the two of us in the frame.

Because I was upset and irritable, I was really not interested in making a fuss about the effect of the program this time.In the camera, Dillon and I just sat silently in the hot spring and looked up at the sky for more than ten minutes, but no one spoke.The photographer finally gave up his plan to continue taking pictures, put away his equipment and left.

I stretched my arms by the edge of the pool, slumped there with my head resting on my arms, watching the sunset slowly being half eaten by the sea level.Dillon was not a talkative person, and he had no intention of speaking when there was no need to speak.The silence should be a very condensed atmosphere, but it unexpectedly makes people feel relaxed.

At least I feel at ease.Because I finally don't have to observe others without blinking my eyes all the time, and then use my brain to think about those slight actions and hidden meanings between words.

All of a sudden, I fell asleep in the warm water and the soft sunset light.

I don't know how long I slept until I was woken up by Dillon, and when I opened my eyes, I saw the black night sky.In the night sky that has not been polluted, the stars are shining without clouds.Dillon had already got up from the hot spring. He stood by the pool where I was leaning, patting me awake beside me.I stared blankly at the stars in the night sky, and after a few seconds, I fixed my gaze on Dillon who woke me up.

Because the survivors did not provide razors to the contestants, the beards on the faces of the participating men all grew vigorously during the competition.Even with my naturally hairless body, there are fine hairs growing under my nose and above my lips.The black stubble on Dillon's cheeks made him look a bit unkempt compared to when he was neat and self-disciplined at the start of the game.

But, it's even sexier.I stared blankly into his eyes.There was a smile in his eyes, and his lips, which he usually liked to draw in a straight line in front of other people, also curled into an arc.

"Hehe, Brian. I found that when you relax, you really like to be in a daze." I watched his mouth open and close and said, "Get up, your hands will wrinkle if you soak them again. Let's go for a massage, aren't you Would you like to propose?"

Then I finally came to my senses.It turned out he was talking to me.Maybe it's because I was really relaxed just now, when I was caught by him again, I didn't act as fiercely as before.

"Dillon, do you have a lover?" I asked without thinking.

"..." Dillon seemed a little stunned, not understanding where my question came from.But he still replied: "No, what's the matter? Do you miss your girlfriend?"

girlfriend?He subconsciously asked if it turned out to be his girlfriend.Is he straight?

I didn't answer his rhetorical question, but just shook my head lightly and stood up from the hot spring pool.I waded through the water and walked up the stairs at the bottom of the water, stood in front of him, took the bathrobe handed over, and put it on my body casually.The wind is still a little cool on the body.

"Let's go, let's go for a massage. I'm very sleepy. After enjoying this free service, let's go back to sleep." I said to him with an unmodified smile.

Well, I admit it.

This man with excess hormones is really attractive to me.So big that I can no longer deny rejection to myself.Hooking up another contestant on Survivor, though, was never in my plans.But sometimes things don't need to be planned.Like seeing someone?

Dillon gave me a hundred times stronger feeling than Chris.Call me selfish, but I don't want to let go of this strange yet familiar feeling that makes me breathe a sigh of relief.The reason why I can't say it anymore is that maybe I can cure my frigidity because of this.

Brian's body is still a virgin...cough...

I wanted to use Chris to help me overcome the hurdle of psychological shadow.Unexpectedly, because he took our relationship too seriously, he had to give up that plan.Because it would be cruel to him if I couldn't return him with equal weight of affection and still say yes.

If I don't have enough emotional foundation for him and get along with him for a long time, it will be difficult for me to express my care for him.The caring that seems to be caring on weekdays is all because I purposely tell myself to do this, so that I can show it.The indifference of Brian's anti-social personality still affects me all the time.I can't guarantee that I can keep pretending to be with a certain person for a long time.

When even my positive personality can't use enough emotion to overwhelm the indifference on the other side.Chris, in his relationship with me, would be dealing with someone who was downright antisocial.

And being in a relationship with a sociopath?A person who is not strong enough inside will have no other results except being driven to collapse by the indifference of the sociopath.

And what about Dillon?At least I know I have feelings for him.The idea of ​​wanting to get closer and understand deeply is the beginning of everything.

And he looks a lot more mature than Chris.At least I don't have to worry about too many problems like I did with Chris.Let's not talk about the relationship directly, but a man like him can treat the relationship between the two more rationally.

So... Even if he is not bent, I have to break him!Just like shopping in a mall, if you finally come across something you like, you have to buy it!Buy buy buy!Who asked him to tease me first?Whether intentional or not.

Most heterosexual men, in fact, have the potential to become bisexual.As long as he is not 100% straight, he may be bent.And the so-called 100% straight men in this world are very rare.

Since I like him, I will do everything possible to get his favor.Only when you get what you have, you will know whether it is suitable for you, isn't it?Even if it doesn't fit in the end, don't worry about it being too difficult to handle if you want to throw it away.

Of course, wanting to gain his favor doesn't mean that I will hand over the prize at my fingertips just because of this.

Let me enjoy the "beautiful scenery" during the race unscrupulously.If I can coax him back after the game, then I should finally be able to find the key to solve my psychological shadow.