New year greeting

Feng Deng didn't expect Song Xinyuan to keep the checklist.He pondered for a moment, then said calmly: "I have anxiety disorder, it's not a serious illness, the doctor said I'm cured."

Song Xinyuan's university major happens to be medical English. In his impression, the English word for anxiety disorder is "anxiety", which is not "lithromantic" at all. Feng Deng is lying.He couldn't see through Feng Deng now, so he could only concern himself: "Is it really healed? Then why are you anxious?"

Feng Deng took Song Xinyuan's hand and took him to wash his face: "Well, if you stay here, I won't be anxious."

Song Xinyuan's heart trembled, and he nodded obediently: "Okay, I will listen to you and not go anywhere."

Feng Deng squeezed toothpaste on the toothbrush and handed it to Song Xinyuan: "It is still necessary to go out. Didn't you say that you want to make money to support me? How can you make money at home?"

The two stood together brushing their teeth, Song Xinyuan peeked at Feng Deng through the mirror, and asked inarticulately, "Okay then, when are you going out?"

After Feng Deng quickly washed up, he said, "No rush."

Song Xinyuan couldn't figure out Feng Deng's plan, so he quietly searched for the meaning of "lithromantic" while squatting in the hole.

Lithromantic, the Chinese name is "sexual unrequited love", also known as avoidant attachment personality, is a psychological disorder.Unrequited love patients can develop love for others, but do not expect to get emotional responses. If the other party responds or pursues him, he will magnify the other party's shortcomings, hate the other party, and want to stay away from the other party; if the other party neglects him, he will approach The other party, liking each other again, keeps repeating the same mistakes.Such people can accept ambiguous moments, do not want to develop a two-way relationship with the person they like, and are destined to be lonely for a lifetime. (*Note①)

Song Xinyuan read a few related posts. Before that, he had never heard of the term "unrequited love", which was beyond his knowledge, and the exaggerated elements in the netizen's statement made him puzzled.He opened the address book and looked at Lin Huan's name. After finishing the lawsuit in January, Lin Huan handed him his business card. He kept Lin Huan's number, but he didn't contact Lin Huan for a long time.

He originally wanted to bid farewell to the past, but the experience of the past six months made him understand that people cannot completely escape from the past, nor can they always escape from reality, otherwise they will be forced into a cage by themselves again and again, and fall into a dilemma.

Song Xinyuan planned to have a chat with Lin Huan, but Feng Deng was with him all the time, and he had no chance to go out alone.He eats and drinks every day, rests on time, or runs to the balcony to water potted plants and trim branches and leaves. After a week, he has gained four or five catties.

This evening, Feng Deng made sweet and sour pork ribs and spicy chicken.Song Xinyuan faced the two hard dishes and drank the porridge silently.Feng Deng gave him a piece of spicy chicken: "Eat meat."

Song Xinyuan swallowed, and refused: "Spicy, don't eat."

"Don't you like spicy food?" Feng Deng changed a spare rib and brought it to his mouth, "This one is not spicy, but sweet."

Song Xinyuan bit the ribs spinelessly, and after eating the ribs, he regretted endlessly: "Brother, I have grown a lot of meat on my waist, and I have become ugly, so I can't eat any more."

Feng Deng said: "You're not ugly, you're skinny, and your digestion is slow. Start running tomorrow and exercise your body, and you'll look better and better. Can you get up early?"

Song Xinyuan was physically weak, hadn't done exercise for a long time, and fell ill, his face was pale, and he seemed to be out of energy.

"Yes." Song Xinyuan agreed to Feng Deng's proposal, and he could eat meat without worry.

After dinner, Feng Deng cut a dragon fruit, walked into the living room, and turned on the TV.Song Xinyuan's attention was on the fruit. When he heard the theme song of "Surgical Storm", he almost choked.During this period of time, he hardly watched TV. If he turned on the TV, he would watch cartoons, or follow Feng Deng to watch the news, and never paid attention to the TV series he starred in.

Feng Deng sat on the sofa, looked at the opening screen of "Surgical Storm", and asked, "Do you feel familiar?"

Song Xinyuan didn't know how to answer. When he saw the close-up of himself, he exclaimed: "Wow, this doctor looks like me!"

"He is you, you are him," Feng Deng said, "You have a job, do you remember your job?"

Song Xinyuan shook his head, pretending not to understand, and continued to eat the fruit.

Feng Deng: "You are an actor, good at acting, this is your work."

Because of Kong Zhuo's death, Song Xinyuan had a heart knot and never watched this drama seriously.He couldn't help but stare at the TV, boasting: "Did I act this? I'm so good."

"Yes, you are very good," Feng Deng patted his head, speaking solemnly, "Your acting skills are particularly good."

Song Xinyuan roughly understood Feng Deng's intentions, and Feng Deng tried to wake him up with the help of TV dramas.Song Xinyuan thought to himself, Feng Deng really thinks he is a burden, and he will definitely leave him when he returns to normal.Although he also wanted to return to work as soon as possible, but Feng Deng was too anxious to leave him, it was really annoying.

Song Xinyuan pretended to be embarrassed: "But I don't remember, I don't know how to act..."

"You will, you are the smartest, right?" Feng Deng said, "I bought a house and spent all my money, and I didn't find a new job. Our family must rely on you. If you perform well, you can make money."

"..." Song Xinyuan was a little aggrieved, "I don't have a script, no one wants me, how can I act?"

"Don't panic, there will be a script delivered to your door, you watch TV first, find out how you feel, do you remember anything?"

"Wait a minute," Song Xinyuan deliberately patted his head after watching the first episode, "Ah, when I was filming that scene, someone scolded me, and it seems that you taught me to bandage my wound in the end..."

Feng Deng added: "Yes, the director criticized you because you were distracted."

"Who is the director?"

"Kong Zhuo, he treats you very well."

"Really, why doesn't he come to play with me?"

"He fell ill and passed away, so I can't find you." Feng Deng glanced at Song Xinyuan, his tone flat, "I performed the operation on him, and I killed him. If he didn't have the operation, he could live till now."

Song Xinyuan's eyes became hot, and he quickly lowered his head: "Is that why you lost your job?"

"Yes, I made a mistake," Feng Deng said after a pause, "then I went abroad for four months."

"For so long, I thought you left me alone and never came back."

"Song Xinyuan, if I don't come back, you can find me."

"It's too far away, I'm afraid, if you hate me, why don't you let me find you?" Song Xinyuan scratched his fingers, unable to distinguish between the inside and the outside of the play, "Always let me chase you, why don't you take the initiative to find me Yeah? Am I dispensable to you?"

Feng Deng patted his hand, pinched his chin, measured it quietly for a few seconds, and said with a smile: "Fool, didn't you find me now?"

Song Xinyuan waved Feng Deng's arm and looked at the TV: "I'm not stupid, you always lie to me, who knows if you will sneak away."

The second episode of "Surgical Storm" begins, and the hero played by Song Xinyuan is performing surgery on patients with cardiomyopathy.Feng Deng raised his eyebrows and looked at Song Xinyuan meaningfully: "Don't you think this place looks familiar?"

Song Xinyuan looked ahead and said calmly, "I don't think so."

"That was the operating room where I tutored you, and you seduced me—"

Song Xinyuan covered Feng Deng's mouth, and said angrily, "Who seduced you? You teased me first."

Feng Deng kissed Song Xinyuan's palm, removed Song Xinyuan's hand, and asked, "Remember?"

"I vaguely think of it..."

"You took off your pants that day, you didn't wear anything inside, and you lay on the operating table—"

"I remembered, don't say it!"

Song Xinyuan ran to the second floor angrily, accidentally slipped and almost fell when going upstairs, but fortunately Feng Deng caught him from behind.

Feng Deng picked up Song Xinyuan like a child, and went downstairs while scolding him: "Why panic, pay attention to safety, what should I do if I fell stupid?"

The blurry scene flashed by, Song Xinyuan shook his head, still in shock, put his arms around Feng Deng's neck, lay on Feng Deng's shoulder and complained: "I was scared to death, it's all your fault."

"I'm sorry." Feng Deng put Song Xinyuan on the sofa, poured a glass of milk, and handed it to Song Xinyuan.

Song Xinyuan took two sips of Feng Deng's hand, and suddenly said: "I seem to have fallen once when I was a child, in my big house."

"Does it hurt?"

"Can't remember, woke up in the hospital and my dad said I fell. My brother told me I hit the back of my head and bled a lot, but I don't remember it at all, it felt like he was teasing me... "

"elder brother?"

Song Xinyuan glanced at Feng Deng: "It's my cousin Li Mingzhou, I used to call him brother."

Feng Deng's expression was indifferent: "You have grown up, you shouldn't call him that, otherwise you will be laughed at."

Song Xinyuan opened his eyes wide: "I also call you brother, did I do something wrong? Then I won't call you anymore."

"I'm your boyfriend, that's the right name, no need to change it."

"Oh, are you happy then?" Song Xinyuan finished drinking the milk with a smile, unexpectedly Feng Deng cared about such a trivial matter.

Feng Deng wiped the corners of his lips, and changed the subject: "Well, the third episode has started."

In the early morning of the next day, Song Xinyuan was dragged up by Feng Deng and ran around the Binhe Park. After the end, he went to the morning market to buy vegetables. Feng Deng also bought Shaomai and custard buns for Song Xinyuan.After returning home and taking a shower, the two of them ate breakfast and continued to watch "Surgical Storm".In the evening, Feng Deng searched for some body exercise videos and urged Song Xinyuan to follow suit.Song Xinyuan worked as a trainee in a brokerage company. He has a foundation in dance. After practicing for a few days, it gradually became effective.

For the next half month, under the guidance of Feng Deng, Song Xinyuan exercised every morning and evening, and made up dramas and watched movies during the day.In order to avoid showing his feet, he still pretended to have a confused memory, and only recalled something when Feng Deng reminded him.

By mid-July, a script really came to my door.On this day, Song Xinyuan woke up from a nap and did not see Feng Deng.He walked to the stairs and found that Feng Deng was talking to someone, who was his manager - Jia Yingjun.

Hearing the movement, Feng Deng waved to Song Xinyuan: "Are you awake? Come here."

Song Xinyuan ignored Jia Yingjun's surprised eyes and sat silently beside Feng Deng.Feng Deng introduced him: "This is your manager, remember?"

Song Xinyuan greeted hesitantly: "Brother Jun, long time no see."

Jia Yingjun looked at Feng Deng and Song Xinyuan, and tried to calm down: "Long time no see, how are you doing? Are you ready to resume work?"

Jia Yingjun has been in the entertainment industry for a long time, and he is not surprised by homosexuality, but he did not expect Song Xinyuan to have an affair with Feng Deng, and it is not clear whether he has "credit" for it.Before coming, Feng Deng explained Song Xinyuan's situation to him and asked him to find an audition opportunity for Song Xinyuan.He signed a five-year contract with Song Xinyuan and took Song Xinyuan with him for one year. Song Xinyuan was once the "Ziweixing" in his heart, so he couldn't bear to see Song Xinyuan go downhill.

Song Xinyuan looked at Feng Deng and said, "I'm fine, I'm ready."

"I have a few scripts here, and they were sent to your mailbox just now. You are thinking about choosing one, and I will contact the crew for you. "Surgical Storm" is on the star, and the ratings are broken. You have actual performance. If your acting skills pass the test, there will be a crew Yes." Jia Yingjun asked, "Are you considering going to a variety show? You haven't been exposed for so long, and the audience has forgotten about you."

"He is not suitable for participating in variety shows." Feng Deng said.

"I, I just want to act," Song Xinyuan held up his phone and asked curiously, "This crew is still recruiting actors?"

"The Torrent? The role you auditioned for is gone, and the rest are other supporting roles." Jia Yingjun looked around, dispelling Song Xinyuan's thoughts. Compared with the less brilliant places in the main roles, they often lag behind, and it is easy to attract black people when they act."

In Jia Yingjun's eyes, Song Xinyuan was withdrawn and not talkative before. He felt that Song Xinyuan had not changed much, and his attitude towards Song Xinyuan was the same as before, which made Song Xinyuan feel much better.

Song Xinyuan whispered, "Brother Jun, I want to try."

Jia Yingjun was quite helpless: "You are still so stubborn, you can give me an answer after reading the script."

After Jia Yingjun finished talking about work, he got up to say goodbye, and politely rejected Feng Deng: "Doctor Feng, don't be too polite, let Song Xinyuan treat you when he has something to offer. Sigh, if you really care about Song Xinyuan, keep a low profile and be optimistic about Song Xinyuan. Don't come out, there are many people out there who can't accept this kind of relationship."

"Ok, I know."

Feng Deng sent Jia Yingjun away, closed the door, turned around and was embraced by Song Xinyuan.Song Xinyuan raised his eyes and asked, "Brother, how long have you planned for me? Why are you so kind to me?" He was eager to get the answer, his heart was beating wildly, and he wanted to fly into Feng Deng's chest.

Feng Deng said: "In order to coax you to earn money to support the family, you are a little genius in our family, and your talent cannot be wasted."

"..." Song Xinyuan stepped on Feng Deng's foot, so he shouldn't have expected anything from Feng Deng.

"I'm lying to you," Feng Deng suddenly picked up Song Xinyuan and walked upstairs, "it's getting heavier. What's for dinner tonight?"

Song Xinyuan wrapped his arms around Feng Deng's neck subconsciously, with an inexplicable sense of crisis: "Eat, eat."

Feng Deng rubbed the top of Song Xinyuan's head: "I want to eat Yuanyuan, okay?"

Song Xinyuan blushed: "No, I don't eat well, and I didn't take a shower."

"Aren't you in a hurry to do it?" Feng Deng threw Song Xinyuan on the bed, "What's the matter, are you afraid that I will faint?"

Song Xinyuan opened his mouth wide in disbelief: "Brother, you swear..."

"I'm sorry," Feng Deng pressed Song Xinyuan with a smile on his lips, "I'm not only good at swearing."

Song Xinyuan didn't dare to look at Feng Deng, turned his head and refused: "It's not dark—"

"Close your eyes and it will be dark." Feng Deng kissed Song Xinyuan.

Song Xinyuan secretly commented on Feng Deng's recent performance, and finally gave up struggling, sticking out his tongue and kissing Feng Deng back.

While they were lingering, Song Xinyuan's phone rang suddenly, and the loud ringing continued to harass the two of them.Feng Deng stood up, glanced at Song Xinyuan's phone, heaved a long sigh, and pressed the answer button.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

"What do you say?" The caller was Li Mingzhou, and Li Mingzhou said coldly, "I'm at your door, open the door."

The author says:

(*Note ①The definition of unrequited love is quoted and rewritten from Baidu Encyclopedia.) I used to know about unrequited love through Zhihu, and later found that there is an encyclopedia for it. In fact, it has not been widely recognized at present, but this disease is real.As for whether Feng Deng is unrequited love, this chapter is not finished, and the next chapter will continue. If I can finish writing tonight, I will update.