New year greeting

"Song Xinyuan, don't make fun of your life." Feng Deng pointed a water glass at Song Xinyuan's mouth, forcing him to shut up. "If something really happens to you, it won't matter how many times I give you artificial respiration."

Song Xinyuan choked suddenly, waved Feng Deng's hand away, and coughed loudly.At the same time, the glass fell to the ground and shattered with a bang.

Feng Deng found a broom and a trash can to clean up the broken glass.Song Xinyuan's throat was full of anger, dry and painful. He went to the ground barefoot, followed Feng Deng, grabbed Feng Deng's clothes, and said nervously: "What's wrong? I'm happy, anyway, no one cares about me, you don't care about me." They are all liars who care about me. They treat me well on the surface, but in fact they wish that I would die sooner. In that case, everyone will be relieved, right? To tell you the truth, I don’t need you to be pitiful, and I don’t need you to care about it. I did it on purpose. I didn't succeed this time, and next time—"

Feng Deng turned around and hugged him, threw him back on the bed, stripped off his wet clothes, and carried him to the bathroom.

"Let me go, let me go, I don't want you to help me take a bath!" Song Xinyuan thumped Feng Deng's shoulder hard.

"Have you had enough acting?" Feng Deng patted Song Xinyuan on the back, signaling him to be quiet, "Don't you just want this?"

"How do you know I'm acting?" Song Xinyuan was silent for a moment, then snickered, "Then you can't be so rude to me, my stomach is so uncomfortable because of you, please be gentle later."

"I've read your script." Feng Deng walked into the bathroom, put Song Xinyuan down, turned on the shower to test the water temperature, pushed Song Xinyuan under the water, and gave him shower gel.

In the scene in the morning, after the hero jumped into the river, he was rescued by a kind passerby.The first suicide attempt failed, causing his mentality to collapse again.The heroine went to visit him in the hospital, wondering how he went to play by the river, and advised him to open up, and his next line was what Song Xinyuan said just now.

Song Xinyuan half-closed his eyes, grabbed Feng Deng's arm, burrowed into Feng Deng's arms, and began to peel off Feng Deng's wet clothes: "Everyone is here, let's wash together."

Feng Deng wiped the water off his face, took off his burden, and washed himself.Song Xinyuan glanced at the guy under him, swallowed his saliva, quietly stretched out his hand stained with shower gel, and held it when Feng Deng raised his face to wash the foam.

"Let go." Feng Deng squinted at him, seeing that his eyes were full of spring, and he had already forgotten about the drowning.

"I haven't seen it for a long time. I miss it." Song Xinyuan played with Feng Deng for a while, "Doctor Feng, let's get down to business, will you give me a kiss or not?"

Feng Deng washed his body clean and found that there were more and more foam on Song Xinyuan's body. He shook his head and pretended to be puzzled: "Where do you want to kiss?"

Song Xinyuan put his arms around Feng Deng's neck, jumped up suddenly, and said foolishly: "Dear you, as long as it's you, I can go anywhere, and you can designate a place for me."

Feng Deng subconsciously supported Song Xinyuan's buttocks, touched the soft foam, and knew that he had washed himself for nothing.

"Do artificial respiration first." Feng Deng blew on Song Xinyuan's lips, blocking that mouth that was always talking nonsense.

Feng Deng concentrated on taking care of Song Xinyuan, taking care of him from the bathroom to the bed. After a few hours, Song Xinyuan's bed was no longer suitable for sleeping.After taking a bath again, he obediently lay down in Feng Deng's bed. After exercising, the fear in his heart dissipated a lot.The dinner ordered by the crew was delivered, and he got up and drank a bowl of lotus seed and lily porridge. His stomach was so distended that he couldn't eat anything else, but he looked better.

After Feng Deng cleaned up the trash, he sat on the bedside and read the materials.He squeezes out part of the time to study every day, and is ready to go back to the hospital at any time.The atmosphere was peaceful for a while, Song Xinyuan poked Feng Deng's abdominal muscles, and asked abruptly: "Have you finished reading the script of "Surgical Storm"?"

"Ah."

"Do you know why the male lead is so obsessed with committing suicide?"

"do not know."

"How many years have you been in the industry? I thought you understood. At first I thought his idea was wrong. After reading a lot of materials about depression patients, I finally understood them a little bit. They... Maybe they don't expect to be redeemed, no I want to get someone's forgiveness, and I don't intend to forgive anyone, I just want to leave this world." Song Xinyuan shrank down, showing half of his face, "I used to always feel that people have many regrets when they are dying, and I didn't do it until this morning. I understand, people can't remember those things at the moment of life and death, the hero may want to disappear quickly, I just hope someone can hold my hand."

Feng Deng's voice of turning the pages of the book echoed his monologue.

He reached out to reach Feng Deng's wrist, and said in a sticky tone: "Doctor Feng, I actually thought of you when I closed my eyes. Do you know why?"

Feng Deng avoided him and said perfunctorily, "Why?"

"Because you are not good to me, you are very bad to me, I can't forget you." Song Xinyuan grabbed Feng Deng's right hand, interlocked his fingers with Feng Deng, his eyes were stubborn, "On April 23rd, it rained heavily, I came back late, do you remember?"

As if to cooperate with him, it suddenly began to rain outside, the wind blew the shower and hit the window, a bolt of lightning pierced the dark sky, and the whistle sounded in the distance, urging the crowd to run under the eaves.

Feng Deng got up and pulled the curtains tightly, and answered the question: "It's raining."

Song Xinyuan heard the extended meaning in Feng Deng's words, but Feng Deng obviously didn't remember it.He continued: "On April 23, Aunt Su called me. She told me that she would never charge me any more. She hated my dad and me. I obviously didn't do anything, but she Hate me. I felt like I lost a purpose at the time, and it was so boring to live. Then the rainstorm came, and I sat under the tree,? Not to wait for the rain to stop, I was waiting for the lightning. If I succeed that day, I don’t need to sleep next to you now. You are annoying."

Song Xinyuan smiled, his smile was as innocent as his thoughts.Feng Deng scanned Song Xinyuan and remembered what happened that day. He got off work early and didn't see Song Xinyuan until midnight. He sent Song Xinyuan a WeChat message and wanted to ask where Song Xinyuan had gone. He guessed that Song Xinyuan had suffered enough from him. I couldn't help running away, but Song Xinyuan didn't expect that kind of thought.

After taking a shower that night, he found that his message failed to be sent due to poor signal. WeChat is really the most difficult software to use in this century.In the end, Song Xinyuan went home, but he didn't mention it.

Song Xinyuan buried himself in the quilt and muttered softly: "I almost disappeared, you didn't look for me, you never cared about me, you treated me badly, I will remember that. You don't care about my life and death, you tried your best to drive me away. "

Feng Deng put down his book, turned off the bedside lamp, and lay down with his back to Song Xinyuan: "Song Xinyuan, you are very smart, you should understand me. Song Yanqing cares about you, as well as your brother, Zhao Yan, Director Kong, your manager, Your fans, they all care about you, and there is no shortage of me."

"What's missing, I'm not smart, I don't know you, I've learned so much from you, but I just don't know you," Song Xinyuan pressed against Feng Deng's back, and asked, "What are you thinking?"

Feng Deng said lightly: "I was thinking, how stupid are you, and will you repeat the same mistakes?"

Song Xinyuan's heart was shocked, he also turned his back to Feng Deng, and changed the subject: "You are right, many people care about me, my dad especially cares about me, he said he will always love me, and he is about to be released from prison, only to three months."

"Congratulations, go to sleep."

Song Xinyuan originally wanted to ask about Feng Deng and Song Yanqing's old affairs, but Feng Deng had warned him a long time ago that he was not allowed to mention the past, otherwise...he doesn't know what will happen otherwise, but it is obviously not good, the worst may be , he and Feng Deng couldn't even make friends with friends.In fact, he is curious about the truth and afraid of the truth.

Afterwards, he leaned on his arm and said: "Doctor Feng, sometimes I feel that you like me, such as this morning, but once I mention this matter, you don't like me anymore, and you want to stay away from me, you So awkward."

The next moment, Feng Deng's tone was really disgusting: "Don't be sentimental, I just did my duty as a doctor today, if I change someone, I will help."

"Look, I really don't understand you." Song Xinyuan's voice was calm and clear, and he started talking again, "I saw a news yesterday that a surgeon supporting the disaster area died suddenly. It's a pity, doctors are really high-risk professions. Yes Yes, you have experienced countless life and death in the hospital, are you prone to depression? Is the hero I played, is his character realistic? Director Kong said that many scenes in the script are based on real life, and I acted what happened in the world It's so subtle."

"Look at people." Feng Deng noticed that Song Xinyuan talked a lot tonight, which probably had something to do with falling into the water during the day. Song Xinyuan was still afraid and didn't dare to sleep.

"What about you?" Song Xinyuan suddenly had a strange guess, "Are you also depressed?"

He recalled the symptoms of depression patients and suspected that Feng Deng had a tendency to be depressed.He once saw strange drug instructions at Feng Deng's house.From getting along with each other in the past few days, he found that Feng Deng's sleep quality was not good, and he often took melatonin before going to bed; It didn't take long for him to be warm, and he gave him a cold face; Feng Deng had a poor memory and always forgot that he liked him.

Feng Deng was tired and didn't say a word.His noncommittal appearance deepened Song Xinyuan's misunderstanding.

Song Xinyuan became more and more certain that Feng Deng was abnormal.Feng Deng couldn't accept him because he was mentally ill?Song Xinyuan came to the conclusion that Feng Deng must be thinking about him, and he should not give him too much hope, so that he will not be happy in the future.Song Xinyuan was moved by his own brain, and his mood was ups and downs for a long time. Suddenly, he looked at Feng Deng with pitiful eyes.

He approached Feng Deng, comfortingly, patted Feng Deng on the back, and said with a pun: "I will not give up on you."

Feng Deng didn't know what he had imagined, and felt baffled: "Don't talk, go to sleep."

At night, Feng Deng was awakened again by Song Xinyuan.Song Xinyuan had a nightmare, screamed twice, and sobbed softly: "Dad, save me..." This is the sequelae of the drowning accident.

"Feng Deng..."

Feng Deng suddenly heard his name and sighed. After a long time, he turned around and hugged Song Xinyuan, saying, "I'm here."

When Song Xinyuan fell asleep, Feng Deng went to the toilet to smoke. While smoking, he thought, he can't stay here anymore. This situation is not good for Song Xinyuan and himself.

After Feng Deng left, Song Xinyuan who was lying on the bed opened his eyes.