Supernatural ability spring flowers and autumn fall

After Shuya left Municipal Nanko Middle School, he didn't go back to Dazai's apartment right away, but went to the beach that he passed by when he was shopping with Oda Sakunosuke more than a month ago.

As long as you go to the beach, your mood will return to calm with the drift of the sea.

When he saw the sea more than a month ago, he was still in confusion and grief, but he was healed by the sea view in this way, so today he chose to come here again after watching this view of freshmen who did not belong to him.

The sea breeze is not as cold as it was more than a month ago. When it blows over, it rolls up the hem of Qiuya's kimono haori, which makes Qiuya feel more of its softness and gentleness.

The coldest winter in Yokohama in history has finally passed, and the weather will gradually warm up.

Qiu Ye walked down the stairs leading from the sidewalk to the beach, took off his shoes and stepped on the fine sand with bare feet, walking slowly.The war has just ended, and of course there is still no one on the beach, which makes Qiu also feel as if he has occupied this beautiful scenery by himself.

From one end of the beach to the other, finally tired from walking, Qiu also sat directly on the wooden board at the exit of an abandoned pier on the side, kicking the sea water under his feet, and then watched several fishing boats going out to sea. passing by.

This feeling made Qiu also feel quite magical. When he was standing next to the fishing boat, he felt that it was a giant, but when the fishing boat was sailing on the sea, it looked so small. This is probably the magic of the sea. place.

If the behemoths around him are so small in the sea, they will only be even smaller in this sea, just like dust.Qiu just stared at Hai in a daze, until he came to his senses, it was almost dark.

Slowly moving his stiff legs from the plank, he got up and began to walk back.He decided to be lazy tonight and buy a rice ball at the convenience store to settle the dinner. Anyway, Dazai will not be at home to eat tonight because he has a celebration.

He made up his mind as he walked up the stairs back to the sidewalk.

In this way, he can also check whether the nearby convenience store has information about job recruitment. After all, he told Dazai before that after the war, he would find a job and leave Dazai's apartment, and then find a way to repay Dazai for taking him in before kindness.

I may have to live alone in the future.

However, the truth was not as smooth and simple as Qiu Ye thought. After coming out of the third convenience store, Qiu Ye sighed.Just like what Dazai said before, since the disbandment of the 'Sheep' organization, various places in Yokohama will no longer recruit minors with younger grades to work part-time.The part-time job requirements of these three convenience stores are all 16 years old and have a student background, or full of minors.

Qiu also didn't meet the requirements.

After that, look for it slowly every day.Thinking like this, Shuya took a bite of the rice ball in his hand, and returned to Dazai's apartment as if taking a walk.

Dazai should have gone out, because the lights in the apartment were not turned on when it was dark.After Qiu Ye entered the door, he skillfully threw the clothes in the laundry basket piled on the side in the morning into the washing machine, set the parameters, and started it.Then he took a rag and wiped the couch he usually used to sleep on. He still remembered that Dazai who came back last night hadn't showered for several days, and then slept directly here.

After tidying up everything, Shuya pushed open the door of Dazai's bedroom, and was about to go to the bathroom inside to do a simple wash, which counted as the end of the day.

But after he pushed open the bathroom door, he saw his friend, Osamu Dazai lying unconscious in the bathtub.The water in the bathtub had already been stained blood red.

"!!"

Shu also didn't care too much, and immediately dragged Dazai out of it and put it on the floor of the bathroom.He felt that his own mind was very calm and organized. After all, in this situation, he still methodically treated the wound on Dazai's left wrist.

Although the movements of his hands were a little trembling, Shuya took the brand-new bandages in the bathroom and took them off, and tightly wrapped the wound on Dazai's wrist to stop the bleeding.After this step, he picked up Dazai's legs and placed them on the small bench in the bathroom, trying to keep the blood supply to Dazai's head as much as possible.

He turned sideways and stretched out his hand to carefully touch the side of Dazai's neck, and he was slightly relieved when he felt that it was still beating.Then he reached out and touched the inside of the bathtub. The water, which had been dyed red, was cold.

It’s okay, if the water is cold, Dazai’s blood loss should not be as large as imagined. After all, the blood will slowly solidify under cold water and will not flow continuously. If it is a real wrist-cutting suicide, it should be under the continuously flowing hot water Cut off the wrist, Dazai's situation should be fine.

Suddenly thought of something, Shuya turned his head back to look at Dazai, his eyes slowly turned blood red, and his vision began to become distorted. At the same time, Dazai's name written on the top of Dazai's head appeared, and the string below Distorted red numbers.After seeing the numbers, Qiu also closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, his eyes returned to light blue.

The one glance just now made him sure that such wound treatment is no problem, because Dazai Osamu's life will not end on this night.

"Hmm..." After waiting for a while, Dazai, who was lying with his head down and his feet high, woke up. He opened his kite-colored eyes and stared blankly at the ceiling of his bathroom for a while, then looked sideways. The bandaged wrist, and Qiu Ye, who was kneeling by the hand with a blank expression, said in a low voice, "Did this suicide fail again?"

"Sure enough, did you do it on purpose?" Qiu Ye asked expressionlessly.This is not the first time that Dazai committed suicide in front of him. He tried to hang himself on the beam of Sakuraba's second-hand bookstore a long time ago, and he also tried to take medicine in front of Qiuya more than a month ago.

"I'm just committing suicide, looking for a way to leave this world without pain." This was Dazai's answer, he moved his legs, got off the small bench, and made himself lie flat on the floor of the bathroom , and then complained to Qiuya in a low voice, "But I didn't expect cutting my wrist to be so painful. I fell asleep in the middle of the pain."

"..." Qiu didn't respond.

Dazai seemed to have not noticed that Shuya's mood was wrong, and continued to complain to him, "Speaking of which, it's not the first time Qiu stopped me from committing suicide, it's the third time." The boy in kimono who couldn't see his expression clearly asked: "Why did you stop me? Qiuya, you are obviously in pain too, you should understand me."

In an instant, memories of the Longtou War filled Qiuya's mind. The dream-like beginning, the nightmarish night, and the confused present all kept popping up in Qiuya's mind.

"...I am in great pain." After a moment of silence, Qiu Ye, with her head down, spoke, her voice hoarse.

"I didn't have any family in the first place, so I finally met my grandfather. However, this war made him leave me forever..." Qiu Ye, who thought that spending a whole day at the beach today would be able to calm down, raised her hands to cover her chin. His face and voice were crying, he tried his best to bear it, and he has been enduring it for more than a month.

"Happiness that was once within reach, is now impossible to obtain forever."

"Right, Shuya, you are obviously in pain too." Dazai stretched out his hand and pulled Shuya's hand from his face, and suggested in a low voice and gentle tone: "This kind of life is so hopeless, so it's better to choose to die. Isn't it?"

"No..." Shuya shook his head, and slowly stretched out his lowered hand to the collar of Dazai's shirt, which had been dyed red because Dazai had been lying in the bloody water of the bathtub.It was probably Dazai's words, which inadvertently involved some of his nerves.

"If you choose to die now, your time will stay at this unfortunate moment in the future."

Qiu Ye tugged at his collar and shook it vigorously, "I will not die, and I will continue to prevent you from dying."

"Hmm..." Being pulled and shaken like this twice, the back of Dazai's head was forced to hit the bathroom floor twice.

Qiu also didn't care, and didn't know if he heard the muffled groan, he even sat astride Dazai's body in order to use his strength.He continued to tug on Dazai's collar with his hands, crying, almost growling the rest of the words:

"No matter how painful it is, you must try your best to live on." He is definitely not the only one who is living a miserable life in this world, and there are people who are living more miserable than him.

"Life is inherently unfortunate, and living is inherently painful." Because life will experience all kinds of setbacks, and it is even determined when you are born that you will die one day in the future.

The comparison between human beings and the sea is so insignificant; just like this dragon war, human life is so easy to lose.but,

"Even if you're weak, even if it's hard work, you just want to survive. This is human!"

The hand holding the collar slowly loosened. The outburst just now exhausted Qiu Ye's whole body, and he panted slightly against his messy hair with his head down.He could see Dazai Osamu's eyes widening in surprise and his own tears dripping down his face.

For more than a month, he was really in pain.The pain caused by losing everything is still in his heart. He misses the days when he was still in Yingting second-hand bookstore and Grandpa Yasuo was still there, but these are gone, and they will only exist as memories in the future.There is still an uncertain future in front of me, and I don't know what I can do in the future.

But no matter how painful and desperate, we must work hard to live.

After this eruption, the boy, who was only a few months away from turning 14, could no longer hold back his tears and cried on Dazai's body. Even he himself never imagined that he would be so emotionally excited. time.

"...So I guess, this is 'disqualification in the world'."

While weeping bitterly, Dazai whispered in his ear.

"..."

Qiu, who was still crying, paused for a while, then stood up slowly with a blank expression.He found that, just as he couldn't understand Dazai's act of looking for death in despair, Dazai couldn't understand his act of trying to survive in despair.

Qiu Ye climbed up and walked into the bathtub, pulled out the plug inside, and watched the bloody water in the bathtub flow down from the drain.

"What a pity, that's all my blood." Dazai also got up slowly, and sat with his back against the wall watching Qiuya's behavior.

"The blood is useless, and it has stained the bathtub." Qiu Ye said, her voice was still hoarse after crying.

"That's a shocking thing to say, Qiu Ye. It's still useful if it's in my body. I'm dizzy now because of blood loss."

Qiu Ye, who stood in the bathtub and looked at the drain, was stunned for a moment, then stepped out of the bathroom and walked out of the bathroom.But a moment later he was back with the sugar cubes the kitchen used to make tea with.

Qiu also stuffed the sugar cube into Dazai's mouth: "Let's talk about replenishing the blood later, and now I'll add some sugar for you." After finishing speaking, he took a towel, wet it with hot water, and squatted in front of Dazai , reached out and began to unbutton his shirt.

"Wait, Xiaoqiu," Dazai, who noticed his movement, immediately blocked it with his uninjured right hand, "Although I'm glad you took the initiative when you were angry, but I really have no strength now."

"How can you just lie back on the bed with blood all over your body." Of course, you have to take off your clothes and wipe it clean. If you lie down covered in blood the next day, you still have to wash the quilt and sheets for him. He doesn't want it.After finishing speaking, he unbuttoned the button directly, took off the shirt and threw it aside.

And then below...

When the metal clattering sound of the belt buckle sounded, Dazai immediately pressed his pants: "No need to wipe Shuya, tomorrow I will directly buy a new bed sheet and quilt cover, buy a new one."

"Oh, that's up to you." Shuya let go of the belt that had been unbuttoned, walked to the side and grabbed Dazai's arm from behind, and dragged him out of the bathroom to the bed in the bedroom.After doing all this, he ran back to the bathroom and closed the door, probably cleaning up the remaining traces.

Lying on the bed, Dazai was indeed powerless due to blood loss: "..."

Even a wife who never forgets to do housework under such circumstances, he doesn't know what to complain about.

When Qiuya came out of the bathroom, he had already taken off the kimono on his body, and only wore a bath towel around his lower body.

Dazai opened one eye to watch him come out of the bathroom, and after he opened the closet, he couldn't help but say, "That's my closet, Shuya."

"I know, but my kimono was ruined by you, and the other set was washed, so I have no clothes." The kimono he was wearing originally was stained with blood and could not be washed off.

He dug out a pajama top from Dazai's closet, put it on and buttoned it up, then dug out his trousers, compared them, and threw them back.

Pants are too big.

Dazai silently watched Shuya throwing the clothes in the closet to and fro, thinking: It seems that he is really angry, he should not be doing housework just now, he just took a bath.

In the end, Qiu Ye couldn't find the right pants, so he took a long windbreaker and closed the cabinet door.

"That one I'm going to wear tomorrow, Shuya—" Dazai lying on the bed called out in a drawn out voice.

"It's my quilt now," Shuya turned and glanced at Dazai before walking out of the bedroom, "I won't return it to you tomorrow."

Dazai: "..."

Silently watching Qiu Ye walk out of the bedroom, and the loud closing sound of the door, he sighed: Get up tomorrow and coax slowly.

However, after waking up the next morning, Dazai sat at the dining table and saw his breakfast of the day - white rice.

He looked at the ground again—there was a bloodstain in the apartment that spread from the bathroom to the kitchen, probably from yesterday when he took the sugar cubes.

Finally, he glanced at the sofa again - Qiu also lay there covered with a windbreaker, not sure if he was really sleeping or pretending to be asleep.

It seems that it is urgent to coax Qiu Ye well.He picked up the chopsticks and picked the white rice in the bowl.

At least food is absolutely urgent.

The author has something to say: Let Qiu Ye vent his emotions, and the situation will be better next time.Shuya's emotions erupted twice, once when he just followed Dazai to his house, and the second time was this time.Once it was his view on death, this time it was his attitude towards life.I hope my description can properly show his heart hidden in his gentle personality.

"Even if you are weak, you have to live even if you are in pain. This is human beings." This sentence is also what I have often said to myself during the past six months when I was trapped by the epidemic. I still say to myself now, and give it to those who need it. .