Sad Jiangnan

Although the section of the road from Ouchi-ri to Onomiya on Nakayumon-dori was popular in Kyoto at that time, it is possible to make some fuss about the distance of less than five miles.But when it was the turn of Fujiwara Onomiyaliu's son, he always let the bluffing bullock cart go first alone.For myself, change the dignified crown hat into a gauze hat or bamboo hat, and go into the crowd.

Because the fingers are next to the ground, walking is not very convenient.In ancient times, people wearing this kind of luggage would not easily walk on the ground, so after such a suit of clothes passed through the market, it turned out to be covered in mud.

Mr. Fujiwara's father is a high-ranking Taizheng minister; his mother is the emperor's younger sister, and because he lives in Utain in Kasuga Koji, he is called Prince Udanoi.Mr. Fujiwara used to be a strict and stubborn counselor, because he was so honest and ignorant of his duties, it was inevitable that he would offend some dignitaries.It is unimaginable for such a noble son to go to the market alone in the middle of the important business of Zhongnayan.However, it would be much more reasonable to say that this Na Yan's accident caused him to become a little crazy because of a huge flaw.

All the barnyard officials and commoners said that he had an ugly face, which shocked the female officials inside and recruited the guards of the palace, thus making an affair between a man and a woman known to everyone.So that from then on, Xia Dynasty left in a hurry, and the bullock cart did not dare to answer the greetings of other nobles.

So it was taken for granted that despite the many inconveniences and embarrassments of Fujinaka Nayan, it would not affect the determination to travel on foot.He is often frightened, lest his colleagues and subordinates will discover this irrelevant secret.Whether it's an ugly face, or a misunderstanding with a female official, which one can be used as an after-dinner conversation in the capital, and it will be popular for a while.It is also reasonable and reasonable, if there are wicked people who make troubles and try to teach Fujinaka Nagen to be sick, or make some disrespectful behaviors, so that he is exiled for crimes and cannot be promoted to the palace to discuss politics, then it is a good thing.

As for Fujinaka Nayan, in addition to frequenting the neighborhood recently, he also sometimes visits a shrine by the Kamo River.The second son of the Fujiwara family was appointed to the post of Iyo Kunisuke within a few days after he was promoted to councilor.This Fujitsusuke is usually very concerned about his brother's words and deeds.If Fujinaka Nayan has any abnormal actions, such as such frequent appearances and disappearances, it will naturally attract his attention.

Often after Zhong Nayan left without saying goodbye, he secretly sent some handymen to follow him.After going back and forth, I naturally learned about Kamogawa Shrine.Under the leadership of the servant, he also followed Fujinaka Nayan to the shrine.In the south of Xijing, a building is seen from a distance, sandwiched between the dark blue river and the moon-white sky.But the torii was not decorated with vermilion lacquer, and it was difficult to distinguish its appearance in the wilderness covered with loess and snow-like miscanthus.

Fuji Quansuke felt melancholy in his heart, thinking of a public minister who was about to condescend to walk home, and what he said was already laughable.What's more, such a Zhongnayan, Ben has excessive requirements on appearance, words and deeds.Overnight, he became always fond of going to and from the market and the countryside, to accommodate his filthy appearance.Is it the demons of this shrine who are causing trouble, and have caused his elder brother to be bewitched for no reason?

Thinking of this, Fuji Quansuke also harbored resentment, clenched his fists tightly, stomped the grass, and walked to the front of the shrine step by step.He suddenly heard faint words, so he couldn't care less about the aura born of resentment.Hastily retreated a few steps, and got into a clump of miscanthus.

But the imperial sword on his waist twirled in the air, making a tinkling sound.Fuji Quansuke was startled all over, and suddenly glanced at the torii gate.It was clear that someone was looking at him, but there was a peaceful voice:

"But why can't I find her?... I clearly saw that woman at that time, with a sad and broken expression, as if I wanted to see through my soul, through the eyes of ordinary things."

Even more sad than those eyes in the words, the followers on both sides could not help but tighten their hearts.Ah, this voice is my elder brother talking, Fujikonsuke thought, and the resentment in his heart was built up for some reason.

"But why did it disappear? I saw it once, but it seemed like I wanted to avoid it deliberately. I will never see it again. Although I searched day and night, I never saw it once."

Having said this, the snarling voice stopped.The owner of that voice may be standing in the depths of the shrine, with his eyes cast into the distance, not pity for the beauty of the water and sky, but only set his eyes on the miscanthus forest next to the dust.The elder brother was looking at him unconsciously, Fuji Quansuke guessed like this, and an unknown force that fueled the flames emerged in his heart, teaching him to take this idea as reality with certainty.

Another sound of fingernails scraping against a wooden board, the answer was irrelevant, piercing through the miscanthus indistinctly, "Can you take off that mask and have a look."

And you must know that the priests who serve in such a shrine are counted as Beijing officials, and if they are given a crown from the sixth place, they will be grateful to the emperor.Facing the ministers from the capital, there is no one who is not flattering and flattering like a dog. Even if he does not forget to take advantage of the opportunity to make a fortune, he still has a bit of a lowly position.

But what's that called now, you bastard.This kind of rudeness and disrespect, even ordinary Tonggui cannot tolerate it.Why didn't my brother respond?Fuji Quansuke's two fists were clenched red unknowingly, and he thought in his heart, why is there any need to worship in such an obscure shrine?In a few days, I will send people to bulldoze this ridiculous place.But for a while, Fuji Gonsuke's legs trembled slightly, and he couldn't stand up again and again.It turned out that the other side of my heart was strangely suppressing the anger that had sprung up, and insisted that he continue to listen weakly.

At this time, sporadic raindrops fell from the snow-white hazy Kamogawa sky.The sad and moving harp suddenly fell silent, and his elder brother was silent for a long time because he no longer paid attention to the "monster" in Fujikonsuke's heart.

Fuji Quansuke prayed, it's good to be quiet like this, originally such a remote place should not be visited by the public, or I am here, and I will immediately take my brother back to Onomiya-is that also useful?Who would that lingering woman in his heart be?Did you see it in the market, a city girl, or a woman's room?I also feel that it is ridiculous to think so seriously, can there be such a beautiful woman in the market without being discovered?I even felt that my elder brother was under some dark witchcraft, but because there was no convincing evidence of attachment for a while, I had to continue to wait in the miscanthus.

The sound of dead wood cracking sounded again and said, "That servant in the palace left you after you took off the mask, didn't he? What is under the mask? If you find it this time, She also asked to take off the mask, will she leave without saying goodbye?"

Chi Chi said slowly, "That's a thing of the past after all."

The dead trees did not speak, and after the shrine fell silent, the sound of raindrops falling on the soil, rivers, and vegetation gradually became noisy, as if the noise was forced in from another world.

Fuji Quansuke stood up, acting out a pantomime in the increasingly turbulent rain, silently looking at the grass like fine snow.Behind the torii gates surrounded by star-like raindrops, the khaki mud turned deep red under the comfort of the rain, but the shimenawa rope, which is similar to the mud, was coated with a layer of tide and turned golden like wheat ears.The simple torii gate inexplicably became huge, but the elder brother who stood in it was gradually being submerged by the wind and rain, and he was born slender and humble.

The fear in Fujiquansuke's heart was beyond words.It has always been an irresistible order that the face under the mask cannot be seen.But Fuji Gonsuke didn't seem to have seen the appearance under that mask.Or in the distant past, when I was a playful child, I still had the memory of my brother's face.It is nothing more than sporadic impressions of pink lips, porcelain white skin, and river-like eyes after the rain.But if you want to say what your elder brother looks like, you don't have any concepts or ideas, and you can only generalize and perfunctory conclude that he is a beautiful person.

As for wearing a mask on his face, because he was infected with a terrible disease when he was dancing spoons, but thanks to the protection of God, he did not die because of it.But the face became very ferocious, and it was said that there was a scar on his face that looked like a burnt incense stick, which was difficult to smooth with powder and daisy, and it was really impossible to see people.Fujikonsuke couldn't help thinking, can such a face be called ugly even though it has to reveal flaws that are difficult to ignore; can a person who uses lead white kodan to cover up his shortcomings be called beautiful?

But the wordless fear in his heart was still unexplainable, Fuji Quansuke stared intently at the direction that urgently needed to reveal his true face, that fear seemed to be a kind of eternal calamity.He put his hands in front of his eyes, glimpsed the shrunken truth through his fingers.

Just like the unknown late spring many years ago, when I peeped outside my brother’s dormitory, under the scorching sun, the noise of insects and the fragrance of gardenias were intertwined, like a deliberate stream of swill, divergent and difficult to detect corruption.Beads of sweat ran down his forehead to his chin, caressing his cheeks like mosquito bites.He saw a purple-red object exposed under the white mask representing his brother's face.On the thing that lacks lips and nose, there are holes that resemble nostrils and mouths. Can it be said that it is a face?It's more like a ball of fresh meat hanging on the straight clothes.Or some magical Taoism, so that evil spirits can also be revived in the daytime.

But today, this ghost is too far away from Fuji Quansuke, who is tens of feet away, and can only see a ball of red meat growing on a two-blue straight dress, with small black holes opening and closing on the meat ball. .

Fuji Quansuke's hands trembled, he completely forgot to move, and the voice like a hammer made him tickle the despair transformed from fear in his ears.

The rushing rain poured down on Fuji Gonsuke's head like the sun.The despair was like a scorpion, sometimes amplified by the sound of the wind, and sometimes reduced by the sound of the rain. Although it was fragmented, it was like the scorching sun, insects and fragrance, pouring into his ears bit by bit. I don’t know if he was asking about dead wood or Fuji Gonsuke in the miscanthus, "Aren't you afraid of my face?"

The dead tree didn't answer for a long time, could it be that it was stunned and unable to move.Fujinaka Nayan was also conscious, and hurriedly put the mask in his hand back on his face.But the fingers suddenly lost their use, and the mask spun around in his hand and fell to the ground.Fujinaka Nagon was glued to the spot like a statue, and suddenly, like Zheng Fu lifting firewood from the ground, his upper body turned down, but he didn't pick up the mask.Then the two legs stuck together, and Fujinaka Nayan curled up on the ground, like a ball of paper that was randomly kneaded and thrown on the soil.

At that time, Fujikonya saw the reflection of that grimace on the puddle at Nagon's feet.The puddle was stirred by the rain a few times, and there were hands on the grimace, and the grimace disappeared.

Fujikonsuke thought dryly, did brother see his face? ... In this world, I have never heard of a person with an ugly face who is afraid of his own face. If he knows what he looks like, will he also have a fear that has nothing to do with his colleagues?Once this assumption is made, it will be absurd, but Fuji Quansuke thinks strangely, of course he is very afraid of himself. A person who was not originally like this, has become like this, which is more terrifying than ever Much more.What's more, in this continuous drizzle, my brother's shoulders were still trembling slightly.

But he saw the piece of dead wood——a man in white straight clothes walked a few steps towards the mask and picked it up.Fujikonsuke couldn't help clenching the Yujian in his hand, and saw the man in white straight clothes, then took the mask in his hand, grabbed Fujinaka Nayan's hand, and wanted to help him up.Ah, that's right, brother really hates self-assertion, and there is no such person in Onomiya who goes to help like this.

But the elder brother at the moment neither punches nor refuses, allowing such help to support him to straighten his body, the backs of his two snow-white hands are still covering his face in the world like a copper wall.Fuji Quansuke didn't realize it, even the Yujian in his hand slipped to the ground without realizing it.The snow-like rain covered the two of them gently and softly, and the straight clothes, one white and one purple, gradually approached until they overlapped.Withered Wood propped up a thin yellow palm, and touched Nayan Tengzhong's snow-white hands, those snow-white hands, because of the contrast with the withered yellow, looked dry and powerless as if they had lost their color.The white hands were easily removed, Fuji Gonsuke's hands trembled, and they clenched into a pair of fists again.

Then, facing the purple-red face with the dead wood, he still raised his withered hand, stroking the purple-red lump of boiled and netted flesh like a woman.

As if there was a ghostly force, Fuji Quansuke was suddenly pushed down into the soil, his neck was held tighter and tighter, until his throat and mouth had a rotten sour taste.When Fuji Quansuke was at a loss, the invisible ghost hand took the opportunity to reach into his mouth, trying to pull out his internal organs.

Fujikonsuke thought, this must be the curse cast on me by this shrine, and I absolutely don't want to show weakness to this unprovoked disaster!But the more he gritted his teeth, the more his mouth opened wide in disobedience.He played with it for a long time in the torment, trying to breathe as if he was dying, but luckily he didn't spit out anything.By the time he adjusted his appearance, the mask had already been worn on Fujinaka Nayan's face as if it had grown naturally.

Fuji Quansuke suddenly remembered, the late spring with the fragrance of gardenia, and the things he shouldn't have seen.

In the courtyard south of Onomiya, the residence of Mr. Fujiwara, there is a path made of limestone, with white sand and gravel paved on both sides of the road, and some low shrubs are also planted.Most of them are flowers such as camellia and ditang, which are for the convenience of spectators to walk and play.Maohua, crabapple, spirea, and maple are planted farther away, so that the guests in the temple can enjoy them gracefully. Naturally, there are two ponds for playing.

Fujinaka Nagon's room is located on the opposite hall on the west side of the path derived from the crossing hall.This noble son of Fujiwara joined his father in politics at that time, and was still working as a councilor.Young people are rare in the annals of history since ancient times.Such a person with exquisite seven orifices is willing to live in a palace in the human world, no wonder the golden light of the sun is always willing to visit his wing.

Outside the scorpion on the west side, there is a flower field of narcissus, occasionally mixed with a few shady camphor trees, where the narcissus does not grow under the shade, Nadeshiko and He Maokui are planted instead.On the side of the narcissus field is a pond connecting the opposite hall, the bedroom hall and the crossing hall. Only this pond is separated from the south pond by a short and narrow section of water. Two huge white carps.The water in this pond is dark green because of the golden carps in this painting, or because of the original blackness, the two golden carps are depicted as transcendent.

Such an ordinary and worthless carp has a tail like an irises, and a giant body no less than the size of an arowana.A carpet of fallen flowers of camphor is spread on this pond called Mirror Pond, occasionally there are two dark holes interspersed with a few ripples.When I want to find the golden carp, there are only ripples that are about to disappear on the white carpet, and swaying flaws that can only be filled by narcissus or catkins.

But in late spring, the flowers of the camphor tree also withered.Then you can clearly see the two white ghosts floating from deep to shallow, the shining brilliance on the white scales and the golden flower grains held in the mouth of the fish are so clearly visible, yet strangely mysterious.In this unique ink pool and narcissus field, it has become a permanent and unparalleled ink treasure.

This unique beauty is even more rare and precious in the mouth of the father. He told the nobles in the capital, and the nobles told their respective servants, and the servants mentioned it casually in front of their families with ulterior motives.Over time, people in the capital, no matter high or low, wanted to admire such an independent beauty, or imitate this elegant place that has been passed down by word of mouth but never met in their own homes.

Fuji Quansuke didn't know when he started thinking about those two carps.

Fuji Quansuke has an indescribable love for these two wonderful creatures.If he had the idea of ​​stepping into the pool of mirrors, his father would always say, "Your brother is resting there." It was an undeniable prohibition.But when will this kind of recuperation end?

My father seemed to have figured out what he was thinking, and continued to explain, "I didn't say it once. He was seriously ill and separated you. At this time, not only did you not solve the family's problems, but you always mentioned some willful and unreasonable things. Let me hear your request, it is really that I have been too tolerant of you." After saying that, the voice became majestic, and his father stared at him.Fujikonsuke was conscious in his heart, aware of his father's unusual anger, and when the situation was still recoverable, he didn't say a word.

Regardless of young people, there has always been a rebellious mentality against the superior.Even if you don't take action immediately, you will be more or less silently ostracized in your heart.So inexplicably, in the heart of the young second son, the word "serious illness" was gradually associated with the two golden carp, and the rope between the name "serious illness" and the name "golden carp" became tighter and tighter.In Fuji Quansuke's mind, a picture of a golden carp covered with white spots appeared, different from the shining gem-like scales, the white spots were pathological, wrapped in dirt in the water, and were turbid and transparent. is not natural.Such white spots gradually covered the whole body of the golden carp.A few days later, the golden carp died quietly.

So during that period of time, Fuji Quansuke always woke up sweating profusely at night when the full moon hung over the roof.But what happened to the golden carp, he still didn't know, everything about life and death was just a personal imagination, and it was meaningless and unable to intervene in reality.His father used strange excuses to hinder his friendship with his elder brother and blocked his tryst with Jin Li.If the father is dead, can this deadlock be broken?

Fujikonsuke's heart skipped a beat, shocked by this thought.Compared with his elder brother, although he is not close enough to his father, it is definitely not the resentment that makes him die.From father to mother, no matter what decision they make, they have not complained at all so far.But up to now, his hope for his father's death has nothing to do with the filial piety of Deben's students.This hope has no conflict and connection with the body, the difference is that the father in this situation does not play the role of a father.

This kind of astonishing thought is out of pity for the golden carp, so I have to think about it in a way that breaks the rules.Over time, Fuji Quansuke's wish for his father's death gradually evolved into that, if he just ignored his father's prohibition to visit Jinli, there was nothing wrong with it.Why not earlier?

The deep daffodil field and the indescribable Tongtian camphor are not as deep and indescribable as they used to be.It was only under the prohibition of his father that an inhuman mystery was born.And for Fuji Quansuke, they should be within easy reach.Once this idea is born, it is more like a boiling copper cauldron. The person watching the cauldron suffers from having nothing at hand to wrap it up, and if he takes it with bare hands, he will only burn himself, and there is no room to stop the boiling for a while.

On a bright moonlit night, a thinly dressed man crawled out from the latticed window of the hall facing the east. Because he hadn't worn Yuanfu, his black hair and curly hair were draped over his back like fallen leaves.The young Fuji Gonsuke fantasized about this trip for countless months and nights.

If he was caught by a patrolling house servant or the clan on the way, and brought before his father, what kind of punishment would he receive?Did my quiet, beautiful and interesting mother frown before she sighed behind the shoji, or did she sigh first?Will he intercede for him, or ask his father to deal with him more severely?Or, if he was caught neither on the way in nor on the way out, and one of the two golden carps died, or both died, this feeling of loss would be more important. Where to go to tell?I can't guess the possible results of these in the meantime.So under the moonlit night, the blood of the young heart was trembling and rushing, and before I knew it, the moonlit narcissus field suddenly appeared in front of my eyes.

There are neither patrolling house servants nor dead golden carps.Fuji Quansuke was crawling outside the daffodil field, and a cluster of gardenias bloomed silently here.Whether it is those narcissus, camphor flower, mirror pond or golden carp, they are all too beautiful to be human.So he turned the gardenia, which was born here, into a solitary fragrance that no one loves.In this situation and in this situation, this solitary fragrance vented its anger to Fuji Quansuke with a blurred fragrance.Even though Fuji Gonsuke's body and mind and eyes are on the daffodil field.

In the narcissus field, there are small insects chirping.The night wind drove the narcissus leaves to sway, and when there was no wind, it was the turn of the flowers to tremble.At the moment when the breeze and insects were quiet, Fuji Gonsuke heard a voice similar to that of a woman.The woman also sang slightly, like an autumn insect, fluttering her red hakama like wings in the narcissus.On the trembling Zhang Que, there is a black quilted armpit gown or a straight gown with overlapping moiré patterns.

Fuji Quansuke vaguely knew who these two were.I don't know what kind of emotion is in my heart, maybe it's fear, and I hide myself in that gardenia.The fragrance of gardenia and indistinguishable panting are strangely equated like two unrelated things, "serious illness" and "golden carp".He remained so motionless, falling into a dream of a golden carp covered in white spots swaying in the ink.

The golden carp was sinking at the bottom of the pond waiting for a long sleep, but the noise on the water attracted it to float to the mirror surface, and the opening and closing round mouth and swinging tail fin brought out circles of ripples on the mirror surface.The golden carp turned around and swam, suddenly a woman's arm grew out of its gills, and its iris-like tail split into two, becoming a woman's thigh.This white-spotted woman has the same snow-colored skin as the golden carp, and is also like noble porcelain. Under the golden light, the ink-like pond is shining brightly.But white spots grew all over the woman's body day after day, and the woman's face lost its vitality, and the ebony-colored eyeballs could not help but roll up to the upper eyelids.While waiting for the woman to die, he heard his father's voice say, "It's all right."

The female voice that should have responded to her father did not answer, and there was a rustling of clothes from the narcissus field, and after a while, her father's voice came to her ears again, "Is it okay?" There was no answer, but after a while, as the footsteps went away, the daffodil field finally stopped moving without wind.

Fuji Quansuke came out of the gardenia bushes, and because of the numbness of his legs, he was very anxious when he walked towards the mirror pool.Every time he takes a step, he suffers a torment, is that Jin Li's punishment for being unfaithful to him?In front of the daffodil field, he imitated the father who doted on the woman, lying face down on the ground.The golden carp who didn't wait to go to the Mirror Pond suddenly sank its head and was about to fall asleep.

But if you do this, you can't forgive yourself in your heart.He stuck his fingers in the mud, struggling to get up from where he was.But this place is neither cold nor humid, like the inadvertent embrace of my mother in distant memories.Fuji Quansuke couldn't resist this drowsiness, and became more and more delirious.

At this time, the sun had already formed a clue from the Qingshui Temple in Dongshan, and the originally pitch-black sky was stained with bright cyan red.On the west facing hall above the narcissus flower field, there was a "click" sound.Like a thorn hitting his bare back, Fuji Gonsuke woke up suddenly.

He climbed up from the narcissus field, and with the help of the rising sun, he realized that there was an open space full of broken flowers and leaves in the center of the narcissus field under the muddy foot bag.His eyeballs moved over the pool of mirrors, where there was only a pool of silent black water.Coupled with such a messy and flawed flower field, it can never be called beautiful.

Fuji Gonsuke hesitated for a while, then retracted his feet from the flower field.At this time, the sound from Xizhi to the inside became more and more obvious, at first it was man-made noises such as "click" and "bang".What followed was a human voice. It was said to be human, but it was more similar to a musical instrument than a human.For some unknown reason, that voice was inherently sad, and it spread like a scorpion above the pot garden, and it was hard to hear or understand.

Fuji Quansuke cast his eyes on the top of the opposite hall, where the lattice windows were half removed, showing an open state, and the ropes hanging the lattice windows were already dyed yellow, like stubborn tree roots growing there.He saw his elder brother's figure clearly displayed inside the lattice window, not at all shy and reserved like Jin Li, who appeared in front of him so easily.

Then the elder brother's mouth opened and closed, and there was a small voice drifting over, but Fuji Gonsuke still couldn't hear it clearly.All his attention has long been attracted by the person who made the sound, so much so that he forgot to distinguish the specific content to be expressed in the music.But those are not important, because the red sun is rising little by little, and the cheeks of Fuji Gonsuke, who stayed here overnight, became hot like the sun.

He saw Naoto Fujinaka sitting quietly in front of the open lattice window, and the face on the straight clothes was unobstructed.What kind of face is that? It is rumored in the palace that Fujinaka Nayan suffers from an incurable disease, and his whole body is covered with fish-eye-like blisters. If this disease can be cured, it will leave indelible scars .

But there are no fish eyes, and no blisters. On top of the straight clothes, there is a porcelain white neck, comparable to the scales of a golden carp.On the top of the neck, there is a pink piece of flesh carefully held.The cracks in the meat are loosened, and it sends out a beautiful movement like a scorpion, with the unique sweetness of spring, like a budding mountain tea, more like a camellia withered into the mud, with withered yellow on the edge of the flower, sweet A kind of rot grows in it.This strange scene stimulated Fuji Gonsuke's five senses, and besides trembling, his breathing became heavy.That face without makeup, like rotten fish, attracts crows, flies, and Fujikonsuke.More exciting than a dead golden carp.

Then the appearance of the woman came to mind again, the woman with white spots all over her body, swimming in the black mirror pool.Fuji Quansuke's eyes looked down slightly, and the golden carp in the mirror pond floated to the surface of the water following the sun.He went to look at Nayan Fuji in the opposite hall, but the lump of meat had already left.The freshness I saw just now is only remnant in the memory, because of this kind of disappearance and appearance, Fuji Quansuke's heart is beating suddenly, and he is so excited that he cannot restrain himself.

Thinking about it now, isn't that a living proof.Although this kind of freshness has rotted in recent days, it is like scabbed blood. The content of the blood itself has not changed. The deep black in the scab is different from the beauty of bright red.

What kind of disease can produce such a face that has been almost burned by flames?That being the case, the death of that golden carp is really a pity.

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