Fog River

It snowed a lot on New Year's Day, the sky was not clear, and the dark clouds that were about to fall dyed the gray with white snow. So far, there is no other color in the world.

The road was icy, and the ten-minute drive took nearly an hour. Zhuo Fan was stuck on the road and almost swearing at the car behind him that kept honking.

Fortunately, it was late at night when we returned to Beicheng from Haicheng, and there were not many cars on the road. Zhuo Fan's endurance persisted until the road was cleared.

After being able to move, Zhuo Fan didn't bring anything, and drove Guan Yue to the cigarette shop at the speed limit all the way.

Just after parking the car, I saw Li Juan running out in a hurry, and gestured to them, "Don't park the car here."

"Why?" Zhuo Fan thought that Li Juan was deliberately troubling him, and stretched out his hand to flick her forehead, "There is a shed in the parking space in front of the store, I don't stop here, don't worry if it snows at night look for a job."

Li Juan got anxious and slapped him directly, and didn't bother to talk to him anymore, she turned around and gestured to Guan Yue: "This is the parking shed that Bian Yan built for Teacher Chi, and no one else is allowed to park."

Seeing Li Juan's sign language, Guan Yue froze for a moment, turned her head to look at Zhuo Fan, and both saw the disbelief in each other's eyes.

But that was only for a moment, and soon they understood, but then came more complicated emotions.

Joy, sympathy, grief and indignation all mixed together like a group of weeds with thorns choked in the throat, and finally only a helpless sigh could overflow from it.

Guan Yue pursed her lips, with a look of unbearable at the moment, she patted Zhuo Fan's shoulder: "Go and find another one."

On this issue, and at this juncture, Zhuo Fan would not still tease casually, and restarted the car to find a new parking space after answering.

I learned everything I needed to know on the way, and Guan Yue would not waste any more time asking those disgusting things again. She followed Li Juan into the shop and asked in a low voice.

"How are you doing these days?"

Hearing Guan Yue's question, Li Juan paused, and when she lifted it back, her fingers trembled a little: "I'm still busy during the day, but at night... it's like I've lost my soul. All night, I was terrified that something might happen to him. He wouldn't let me tell you, but I was worried that he wouldn't be able to survive."

At this point, Li Juan raised her hand to wipe the corners of her eyes, sniffed and continued: "Aunt Guan, he may really not be able to take it this time, it has never been like this before."

Just looking at Li Juan gestures to Guan Yue, she can think of Bian Yan's current state, and it's impossible to say that she doesn't feel sorry for her. She hugged Li Juan, patted her on the back and said she was fine, and reassured her.

Li Juan was really scared, but she also knew that there were more important things than her fear. She suppressed her tears, came out of Guan Yue's arms, and gestured.

"In the storage room, you go quickly."

"Okay," Guan Yue was still more concerned about Bian Yan's situation. She took off her coat and hung it on the hook, and said to Li Juan, "When Zhuo Fan comes, you should go back first and let him look after the store for you. son."

Li Ao's third year of high school started early, and he returned to school on New Year's Day. Li Juan has indeed neglected him a lot these days, and now that Guan Yue and his mother have rushed over, she can pass it on with peace of mind.

Li Juan responded and shook Guan Yue's hand. Guan Yue patted her hand to express her reassurance, then turned and walked towards the storage room behind the counter.

The door of the storage room was not closed, but Guan Yue didn't go in immediately, but stood quietly at the door watching Bian Yan's movements.

It was no different from every time I saw it in the past. Wearing an apron, mask and gloves, my hands were buried in the pile of tobacco and turned rhythmically and vigorously.

But the difference can be clearly seen.

No matter how bright the lights are, they still can't light up the gleam in Bian Yan's eyes. He is like a robot, mechanically and formulaically doing every process he should do.

Until the process is completed, the parts will not be forced to stop due to wear and tear.

Guan Yue frowned, but no one had the heart to blame him. In the end, all the dissatisfaction turned into a sigh.

Guan Yue raised her hand and knocked on the door, and said softly, "Bian Yan."

Hearing the knock on the door, he was tired of the sudden breakdown of the nerves in his brain, and his muscles tensed subconsciously, but he slowly regained his senses when he heard Guan Yue's voice.

Bian Yan was stunned for a while, then withdrew his hand from the pile of tobacco, and when he turned around again, his expression remained the same.

"Why are you here so late?" Bian Yan took off his gloves, suppressed the disappointment in his eyes, and walked over to ask.

Seeing Bian Yan approaching, Guan Yue's mouth suddenly felt sour, she stretched out her hand to touch Bian Yan's face, and rubbed his haggard eyes: "Do you have to carry it yourself?"

The touch in front of his eyes made Bian Yan tremble all over, and Guan Yue's patience in front of him not only made Bian Yan's eye sockets ache with red eyes, the emotions he had been suppressing for many days were wiped out by Guan Yue's simple words Open a small mouth.

It took less than half a minute from being depressed to breaking the embankment.

Bian Yan held Guan Yue's hand, clenched his teeth, and tried to suppress patience, but the surging emotions kept prying his teeth one after another, and finally, in the sharp tearing struggle, Bian Yan squeezed Guan Yue's hand. With a broken hand, he let out a low growl.

The back under Bian Yan's bow was trembling, his words were difficult, and the answers were irrelevant, but they seemed to explain everything.

"Aunt Guan, why is it only a little short every time? Obviously... it's only the last step. It's really only the last step."

Whether it's the last trip or meeting the parents this time, it's just the last step.

Bian Yan couldn't figure out what crimes he had committed in his life, what wrong things he had done, was it really just because he was an emotionless monster that God wanted to punish him like this.

Thinking of this, Bian Yan's heart shrank suddenly, and the pain instantly swept through his whole body, as if his spine was pulled out by the order of the gods, he knelt down straight and lost all strength.

Bian Yan was so frightened that Guan Yue lost her mind. She squatted down hurriedly, supported him, and could no longer hold back her tears: "It's okay, just explain it to me, Chi Shu...he shouldn't be so unknown Reasonable, no matter how bad it is, I can..."

"No, no," Bian Yan clasped Guan Yue's shoulders, and buried his head hard, "He understands, Chi Shu understands, from beginning to end, I'm the only one who doesn't understand. "

"What do you mean?" Guan Yue was shocked.

Bian Yan's hands trembled and grasped tightly, he slowly raised his head, his eyelashes trembling, and the muscles on his face twitched in response to force.

"Aunt Guan, am I... really a monster, as they say, unworthy of living, let alone expecting anything..."

When Bian Yan said this, his voice was very soft, as if it came from the other side of the river embankment covered in thick fog, and the sound of hammering made Guan Yue's heart ache.

Bian Yan was still talking to himself, as if all his beliefs had been crushed by the belated truth during this long journey.

"I watched him go that night. He didn't take anything with him when he left, but he seemed to take everything with him. There was no smell of him on the pillow, on the sheet, and I seemed to have lost my sense of smell. I can't smell him anymore. But I, it seems, besides looking at it..."

At this time, Bian Yan seemed to be a different person, the back that never bowed down, but at this moment it bent to protrude the fragile bone line.

It snaps off and peels off with just one more blow.

"No, I hate it, no."

Guan Yue lowered her eyes and interrupted, her chest rose and fell sharply, but the shallow tendons on her neck were protruding, as if she was trying her best to suppress the turbulent emotions in her body.

Guan Yue took a deep breath to hide the coldness in her eyes, she raised a gentle smile, moved forward to press Bian Yan's back to straighten him, and said in his out-of-focus eyes.

"Bian Yan, you are not an emotionless monster," Guan Yue touched his eyelids, and solemnly said word by word, "You are not. Bian Yan, I can see the grief in your eyes, but I can also see the pain in your eyes." to love."

"You have all the emotions that the world has, so you can also have the happiness that the world can have. So, Bian Yan, don't bear it until there is room."