Fog River

In fact, Bian Yan is not a person who likes to look back on the past, nor does he have the desire to confide in others, or in other words, he does not have the nature of social gregariousness in his bones and instincts.

He was born homeless, and his desire to live in groups was suppressed from the beginning, until it was on the verge of disappearing in the end, along with the instinct to express empathy.

But Chi is different.

Chi Shu, as the name suggests, is a rare treasure in that clear pool, and he was lucky enough to be able to bend down to grab it when he was walking around in the world.

When the dead see the light, their suppressed desires flourish, whether it is healing or talking, as long as they can grasp the greedy tenderness, they are unwilling to go against their nature.

Bian Yan rested his forehead on Chi Shu's back, pressed his hand on his heart, felt Chi Shu's heartbeat through his frontal bone and felt his pulse.

He paused for a moment, and his voice changed to a depressing tone: "My mother was guilty after death. And I was born to be evil. Chi Shu, I was born to be evil."

"I am a product of rape."

As soon as the last sentence came out, it was like a needle pierced into Chi Shu's brain, causing him to tremble violently.

"I hate you..."

"Hush, wait for me to finish. Chi Shu, wait for me to finish." Bian Yan reached out and touched his lips, rubbing his fingertips between the lips, "My mother is a very contradictory person, and she is also very extreme. She Obviously hated my dad, hated him for ruining her pure college time, but she also fell in love with my dad inevitably, so that in the end she crashed into their car, turned over the road together and died together."

Having said that, Bian Yan raised his head and pressed his lips on the back of Chi Shu's neck, feeling the trembling of the skin under his lips.

Bian Yan kissed reverently: "She is also very contradictory to me, sometimes she will treat me with disgusting eyes and vicious words, but sometimes she is very gentle and loving. The day they had an accident...she was very special that day. Beautiful, very gentle in the morning, even touched my hand before going out."

"After that, the memory is very blurred. It was quite noisy anyway. I followed my grandfather back to Bian's house and saw my two older brothers and my grandmother. They looked at me like enemies, and the first time they saw me In a word, I want to pay my life for atonement."

"What do you want to pay with your life? What sin do you want to atone for?" Chi Shu couldn't bear it any longer when he heard this, and raised his voice, "Are they crazy? What sin is your half-old child atone for?"

With sour anger scurrying in the body, it hurts.

Chi Shu was shaking all over. He clasped Bian Yan's hands and turned over, hugging Bian Yan in the dark, trying to say something, but in the end his words turned into strength, and he hugged Bian Yan even tighter.

The words are too shallow, and the comfort is too pale. Only a hug with warmth and strength can give a little foundation.

Bian Yan's face was hidden in the darkness, and he couldn't see any emotion. He touched Chi Shu's head reassuringly, and continued.

"Hatred needs to be transferred. If people want to live a happy life without shame, they must express their resentment. The blood flowing in my body, the appearance I was born with, and the people who gave me life, these are all me in their eyes. original sin."

"They took me back, pressed my mother's ashes, and used it to deceive their guilt year after year. But in fact, Chi Shu, I see them playing with me every year, and I feel funny in my heart. After all, they A whole year has been spent in torment and darkness, and I have only this day, and even the last day has nothing to do with me."

"But that day was different," Bian Yan's voice changed suddenly, like frost and snow whistling in a cold wind, "Chi Shu, they chose the wrong day, any time of the year is fine, but it shouldn't be when you take me out on a trip when."

"That day..." Chi Shu couldn't tell what mood he was in, he was completely taken aback by what Bian Yan said.

Bian Yan patted his back and took over the conversation: "After I sent you back that day, I went to Biancheng and Bianguan and did a very irrational thing. I sent them to the hospital."

"Bullshit is irrational, you should have done it a long time ago," Chi Shuyi, a man of culture, swears directly. He touched Bianyan's browbones distressedly, looked at his silhouette in the dark, and suddenly remembered the most important thing , asked, "Then... what did they do to you in those twelve days?"

"I'm an adult, they don't dare to do anything to me." Bian Yan enjoyed Chi Shu's love and intimacy.He was already very satisfied, so there was no need to worry Chi Shu anymore.

"I'm not kidding you," Chi Shu felt pain every time he took a breath. He raised his head and touched his lips, and asked closely, "What happened to you?"

Bian Yan lowered his eyes and kissed back, clasped Chi Shu's neck and sighed: "It's just closed for a while, it's not a big deal."

"What do you mean just shut it down for a while? Who shut it down for twelve days?" Chi Shu's head exploded when he heard it, and a wave full of soreness gushed out in the storm.

Chi Shu got up from the bed emotionally, and was about to reach out to turn on the light when he was held down by Bian Yan.

Bian Yan hugged Chi Shu from behind, holding his trembling hand: "Don't turn on the light, don't turn on the light Chi Shu. I can't recall many things in the light."

The dark night can hide a lot, and it can also reveal a lot, and the good and the bad can be contained in it.

Moreover, unlike talking in the light, the night has its own special session, and the darkness suppressed in the bottom of the heart can be unreservedly revealed at this moment.

Bian Yan turned Chi Shu around, lifted his hair and kissed him from his forehead to his lips, and scraped his cheek with his hands.

"Chi Shu, I'm not a good person, like this, I don't resist, except for my mother's ashes, I just want to watch them suffer in pain," Bian Yan pressed his lips together, rubbing Chi Shu's lips, "Let me tell you the truth, today I deliberately pick on your soft-hearted point and step on it, just to make you feel sorry for me."

"Chi Shu, I never expect others to love me and love me, but it's different now. I want to see you love me and see you love me."

"I do have too many half-hearted and unclean pasts, but Chi Shu, I am willing to die for you now. So, can Teacher Chi feel sorry for me and love me?"

With each sound, it was as if one bomb after another was dropped into Chi Shu's mind, until he couldn't even connect his thoughts.But like a sharp axe, it hit Chi Shu's heart again and again, breaking through the gaping mouth.

In this way, who can not feel distressed.Chi Shu's heart ached to death.

What's more, before listening to Bian Tien's words, Chi Shu always believed that the two people who were in love must be attracted to each other because of each other's shining points, and finally fell in love.

But now, Chi Shu didn't think so.

Two people who love each other can not only share the light, but also fall into the darkness together.It is to be able to increase love, convey temperature and touch after seeing the most rancid dark side in each other's hearts.

Bian Yan gave Chi Shu a normal love, but also gave him an extremely opposite gift.

Chi Shu raised his eyes to look at him, looking at him in the dark, the outline gradually became clear and no longer hazy.

"Can you, Chi Shu?" Bian Yan's hand clasped Chi Shu's neck with uncontrollable force.

Chi Shu looked at him, replied softly no, then pulled his arm under Bian Yan's astonished gaze, and rubbed his lips: "It can't be just once, it takes many, many strokes. Bian Yan, love Your matter cannot be measured by quantifiers, it is an infinite number."

"I don't dare to hope for endlessness," Bian Yan's voice trembled with forbearance, "It's good to be greedy for a while."

Chi Shu straightened up on a half-kneel, held Bian's disgusted face, lowered his head and said, "You're greedy, just have fun, and take it all away. What's more, Boss Bian, you step on it by yourself to make my heart feel bad." , I want to hurt you now and you don't want it anymore, what's going on? Is it decent?"

Bian Yan looked at him, looked at Chi Shu with the moonlight on his back, grinned, then reached out and took him off, kissed his lips and said, "It's not good, it's not good. Then I'll be more greedy, greedy endlessly." number."

It's not that Chi Shu couldn't see that Bian Yan was careful, since he turned off the light, Chi Shu had guessed it in his heart.

But he didn't expect Bian Yan to be so ruthless, poking the softest place and stepping on it, which made Chi Shu feel so distressed that he didn't have time to think about his tricks.

On weekdays, he would always put his emotions in his eyes and in the tiny touch of his body. Chi Shu was afraid that he might have some problems, and just wanted to tease him more and let him talk more.

But now that he was tired of talking too much, Chi Shu couldn't stand it anymore.No one can live with him like this, one after another, and at the end he showed his eyes and begged for a little love from you.

It looks like Wuqiu, but in fact, it grabs your heart and wants to take everything away.And you knew all the traps, but you stepped on them without hesitation as if you had lowered your head.

Chi Shu bit his lip with a taste of punishment, but the movement of touching his head was as gentle as ever.

"Speak carefully next time, I really can't stand it again." Chi Shu slumped down and put his chin on his shoulder, "I probably won't be able to sleep thinking about it tonight."

Bian Yan's heart was full, and he hugged Chi Shu and leaned against the pillow: "I'm telling you the truth, not to disturb your sweet dreams. Don't worry, I can handle it well."

It's not that Chi Shu doesn't believe it, but he hates it. In the end, he doesn't want to do it himself, with the meaning of dying together.

Digging deeper, there is no hope, and if you can't see the end of life, you want to drag others to suffer together.Those who are not from the Bian family will have others.

Chi Shu thinks that he is not a divine mother, and cannot save all sentient beings, but it is just right to save a Bian Yan with full of love.

"You must deal with it well, otherwise Teacher Chi will hurt you for nothing." Chi Shu kissed his earlobe, then changed the subject, "It doesn't matter if you don't handle it well, Teacher Chi will support you."

"Okay, Teacher Chi is supporting me," Bian Yan was really happy, although he couldn't feel it, but he knew it was happiness.

The embrace under the quilt lined by the cold air of early winter became warmer and warmer. Chi Shu lay in Bianyan's arms, warm An Xin dispelled the sore heartache, and drew out rolls of sleepiness.

After a night of tossing and a day of work, Chi Shu's age is also here, so he can't help but be so bad.After finding a comfortable place, I nestled in and prepared to sleep.

There's no need to think about what's next, I'm tired of being here, feel at ease.

Bian Yan touched Chi Shu's shoulder blades, and after a moment of silence, he called Chi Shu slowly while hesitating.

In fact, Chi Shu had already reached the boundary of half-dream and half-awake, and Bian Yan would pat him on the back twice and he would fall asleep immediately, but he listened to Bian Yan's shout, and he responded lukewarmly, staying awake.

Bian Yan looked down at him, his soft hair slumped, completely different from the decent image he usually looks at.So obedient, like a tamed lion.

It's hard to get, and Bian Yan dare not take any more risks. Chi Shu's love for him can only increase but not decrease, even if it explodes, it can't be reduced.

Bian Yan kissed the top of his head, patted him slowly, and coaxed: "It's okay, go to sleep."

Call him mean.Hide what should be said the most, just to satisfy one's own greed.