When the double black penetrates the if line

Osamu Dazai's life is neither long nor short, but if you count it carefully, it is definitely more exciting and richer than most people's lives.

The splendor and richness here does not refer to what ordinary people think is a successful career and a happy relationship—of course, Osamu Dazai did become the leader of the port mafia later, and he can be regarded as the most high-end existence in Yokohama that controls the entire underground world , It can barely be called a successful career.

But the feeling is happy...

Thinking about it carefully, although Osamu Dazai did invite several women to die with him in love before, and successfully obtained the consent of several, he felt that this could not be included in the category of happy relationships, not to mention that it was a long time ago something happened.

Since Osamu Dazai became the leader, he never had the opportunity to go out and strike up a conversation with any lady on the side of the road as he wanted, instead he stepped into the footsteps of Mori Ogai, endlessly chatting all day The pile of paperwork and various reports and plans are in love with each other.

If it is necessary to say that there is one person who has been by his side all the time—Osamu Dazai thought about it, and found that the only person worthy of this title is his top cadre, the former partner of his current subordinate—Nakahara Chuya.

The encounter with Chuya Nakahara, the period of partnering with him, and the appointment of Chuya Nakahara as the top cadre after Osamu Dazai became the leader.

Osamu Dazai turned the pen in his hand, and suddenly realized that the touch of orange color has been with him through the years, leaving a strong stroke in his life.

……

The first time we met is still vivid in my mind.

Osamu Dazai was picked up by Mori Ogai after a failed suicide a long time ago. At that time, Mori Ogai was smiling and wearing a white coat. Anyone who didn’t know would definitely mistake him for a A gentle and talkative doctor.

Osamu Dazai didn't know about Mori Ogai's background at that time—but unlike other people, Dazai Osamu saw Mori Ogai's cold and indifferent heart at a glance.

While pulling him up from the water, Mori Ogai looked at him with a smile and said, "Little friend, since you want to commit suicide so much...do you want to consider going back with me?"

As he spoke, the smile on his face deepened: "I promise you will live a more interesting life, free you from this boring world, and experience more beautiful scenery, how about it?"

Hypocritical, cold-blooded, not worthy of the slightest bit of trust.

But it's kind of interesting.

Osamu Dazai looked at Mori Ogai's smiling face, thinking meaninglessly in his heart.

Oops, suicide failed again. It is easy for others to die easily, but he did it as if he had been cursed, and he would never be able to die.

And being rescued like today is actually the most detestable way to fail suicide.Because there are always all kinds of weird thoughts in other people's heads, not only can't understand why he committed suicide, but most likely will contact the police station to send him back.

Osamu Dazai hates his home, and he also hates his original life.

All the people around him, whether they were the elders with a serious appearance, or the servants of the family who bowed their heads and looked respectful, made him feel so hypocritical that he was almost sick.

You can see through the rotten inside of their glamorous appearance at a glance, so why make these fake and vulnerable camouflages?

Is it to disgust him?Or it's because human beings are so ridiculous and unbearable, even though their bones are already rotten, they still have to make an appearance of being affectionate and loving both master and servant.

It was exactly the same as the doctor standing in front of me right now, calling himself Mori Ogai.

Since there is nothing in my heart that can match the benevolence of a doctor, then what is the purpose of wearing this pure white white coat?Is it to create a sharper contrast when the blood is splashed on it?

Osamu Dazai glanced sleepily at Mori Ogai in front of him, and the hand he stretched out towards him.

If he refuses, it is very likely that this person will also contact the police like so many people before, and then he will have to go back to the family that escaped with great difficulty and watch everyone make poor performances every day up.

Alas, living is really too troublesome.

"How is it? Do you want to consider what I proposed?" Mori Ogai was not discouraged by Osamu Dazai's silence, but continued to show his bright smile, "There is something about Dazai-kun that I really like. What you like, I appreciate you."

But what is the use of your appreciation?

Osamu Dazai directly ignored the hand that Mori Ogai stretched out to him, and he easily broke free from the hand that Mori Ogai held onto his wrist when he was picked up from the water, with an indifferent expression on his face. With a trace of boredom, his gaze swept over Mori Ogai's face carefully, as if he wanted to examine every trace of this person's expression.

Mori Ogai didn't speak, just smiled and let Osamu Dazai examine himself with almost searching eyes.

"Okay." In the end, Osamu Dazai withdrew his gaze, and spat out the word calmly, with precious words like gold.

"That would be great." Mori Ogai's smile became brighter again, "There is also a little girl named Liz in our family who is much cuter than you. I believe you and her will definitely get along well. Get along very well."

But Osamu Dazai had already passed him, and walked slowly towards the river bank towards the path, leaving only the back of his head indifferent, with black hair dripping at the ends.

"Oh, don't go so fast." Mori Ogai's smile deepened a bit, he quickly took a few steps forward, put a hand on Dazai Osamu's shoulder, "Come on, I'll take you there My temporary office."

Mori Ogai paused, and then said meaningfully: "I believe that you will like it there."

He was wrong, Osamu Dazai didn't like the slightly shabby little clinic where Mori Ogai stayed all the year round.

The pungent smell of disinfectant water always floats in the air there. Various medicines are placed on the cabinets, and the shadows cast by the half-drawn curtains make the various bottles and jars look a bit more dull and aggravated. The indelible smell of medicine in the air.

Dazai Osamu didn't just think once, if he poured all the medicines in these bottles and cans together, and then swallowed them in one breath, he would definitely get the peace of death, right?

But he never did.

Because Osamu Dazai knew that even if those drugs mixed together could kill people, if he swallowed them, Mori Ogai would find him before he could fall into the darkness of a peaceful death.

Then he will be pressed on the cold operating chair, and his stomach will be washed over and over again under the glare of the operating lamp until all the remaining drugs in his stomach are completely removed.

Not only could Osamu Dazai not be able to achieve death, but he would still be struggling in the abyss of pain until the aftereffects of taking all the mixed medicines completely dissipated before he could be pulled back to the human world half dead.

That's why Osamu Dazai hated that shabby little clinic, and even more hated the very informal operating room in that small clinic that had received many patients.

Of course, Mori Ogai, who holds the ownership of all of these, is hated by Osamu Dazai at the top level.

He shouldn't have come here with this person in the first place.

Osamu Dazai thought with a cold face.

Even the only right to commit suicide is deprived by Mori Ogai. If a person can't even hold the right to die in his own hands, then life is really worse than death.

"If I remember correctly, Dazai-kun has been with me for more than two weeks, right?" One evening, Mori Ogai stopped Dazai Ogai, who was resting on a bench next to him, resting his chin bored, " Then Dazai-kun, should you consider going out with me tomorrow?"

In the past two days, Mori Ogai got a big job from nowhere, and he would go somewhere for a fixed period of time during the day every day.

Of course, before leaving the clinic, Mori Ogai will carefully lock all the medicines in the cabinet every time, and hide all things with sharp parts such as scalpels before leaving the clinic. Lock the door of the clinic.

Osamu Dazai felt that one day he had to learn the skill of picking locks, otherwise he would have to stay in this small clinic day after day and become moldy and rotten. Muscle blood vessels and nerves gradually peeled off from the bones, and eventually even himself became weak. Like myself.

If there is a day, even if the windows are equipped with anti-theft windows, and every object is smoothed to ensure that he will not be used to commit suicide, Osamu Dazai will definitely find a way to get out of this place, go to to meet death.

So now Mori Ogai took the initiative to invite him to leave with Mori Ogai, which made Osamu Dazai a little suspicious: "Why did you suddenly decide to take me?"

He asked indifferently without raising his head.

"Is there any other reason?" Mori Ogai's expression was innocent, but Osamu Dazai knew it was just a disguise, "Of course it's because a boy your age shouldn't be bored at home every day. , take you out to breathe some fresh air, and see all kinds of human beings."

I was forced to be stuck in this crappy place from morning to night, unable to go out or kill myself, and could only live in endless boredom every day. Who is it because of?

Osamu Dazai smiled coldly in his heart, but after staying in this clinic for a long time, perhaps because of the influence of Mori Ogai, he has now learned to hide his emotions and anger, and what he thinks in his heart is This set of faces can show a completely different expression: "Okay."

Osamu Dazai raised his face and showed a sincere smile: "Thank you so much."

But deep in his heart, there was an emotion slowly fermenting, like a poisonous snake, entrenched in his mind, spit out a slender snake letter for the first time.

Osamu Dazai is not clear now, but soon, he will understand——

This kind of emotion sprayed with venom is called killing intent.