Rihu's Pit Brother's Journey

When Ji Guoyankatsu realized that he might not be a student of Osamu Dazai in that future school, it was hard to say whether he felt disappointed or relieved.

However, in this world, everything that happened up to this point in time is actually similar to his experience in the future, which made him feel hatred.

——If there is no memory from the future, what would I do with this one?Maybe it's like the future me, resenting my younger brother who took everything away?

he does not know.

This possibility, this historical inevitability, made him feel sick.

What made him want to vomit the most was that Yuanyi was still his brother.

Yuanyi in this era is innocent, no, even Yuanyi in the future era has done nothing wrong.That's right, they are all right, they are all just living in a normal way, they just have excellent aptitudes.

Ji Guoyansheng hated them.

In the past, he was just feeling awkward, seeing Yuanyi's smile and feeling guilty, seeing him doing better than himself, secretly resenting, to put it bluntly, it was a sour lemon mentality.

Once upon a time.

Before Osamu Dazai jumped off the roof, he thought so.

At that time, he didn't have the extra thought and mood to pay attention to what his Chinese teacher was thinking and what he had said to him.He is full of his father's thoughts, his younger brother's excellence, and pressure from all aspects of the family and himself. How can he care about what other people think, what to do, and what to expect from him?

In addition to handing in homework in Chinese class, Mr. Dazai would chat with him occasionally, and if he said chat, he just listened to him pouring black mud one-sidedly.He doesn't understand why a person who eats and wears well and is good-looking, why he has so many negative emotions every day, and always pretends to be nonchalant in front of others, is even the pistachio in the eyes of other teachers .

It's just that at that time... At that time, it was not without warning.

— I should have known.

—but I didn't think much about it, or even have the heart to think about it.

Thinking about it now is the same, let a family have conflicts, have a younger brother who has been pressing down on him, and even a student who wants to drop out of school on his own initiative, instead of caring about the mess in his own family, he should pay attention to a teacher who should be a life mentor , isn't it unreasonable and asking too much?

He just said, do you want to come together, Iwakatsu?

I can only answer myself, I am leaving.

When Dazai did that, he didn't even realize it.

This is no longer an excuse for 'totally unexpected'.

Perhaps, he had thought of something.Perhaps subconsciously, he had a hunch that he knew what his teacher was asking.He thought about the subconscious in the subconscious, and Dazai also saw it, so he asked if he wanted to come together?

He should have discovered, should have realized, should have done something.

The physical strength he is proud of, and his self-righteous brain are actually empty from beginning to end. He only thinks about his own affairs, family affairs, and his father's selfish wishes. Brother who doesn't owe him anything.

The only person in this world who has seen through him, understood him, and understood him has reached out to him.

It didn't even occur to him that he could reach out and grab that hand.

This kind of grief, this feeling of heartache is obviously brought about by false memories, but for the present Ji Guoyan Sheng, it is the only reality.

Compared with that vivid pain, everything that Ji Guoyansheng experienced now is nothing.

What kind of father's approval, the identity of the head of the family, what kind of outstanding younger brother, and whether to abdicate to become a monk are simply ridiculous and pitiful little troubles.

——I am for such a thing, such a thing!Immerse yourself in it and don't pay attention to that person's troubles!

I should have noticed this sooner than anyone else!Understand earlier!He obviously only confides to me, only tells me his troubles.

I know, I clearly know!What I hate is my powerless self!The one who can't forgive is actually myself!But I still inevitably vent my anger on my father who lives in modern times and my younger brother who knows nothing about me, on the present ancient patriarch who is too harsh, and my brother who is also ignorant and ignorant.

——They are not wrong, they are innocent, and I am the only one who is wrong.But I still can't forgive, I can't suppress my hatred and anger, and want to pour it on them.

If it weren't for you, if it weren't for you... how could I... I didn't notice at all... I didn't think of it at all...

Under the moonlight at night, the child standing in the courtyard looked up at the sky.Although he has the body of a child, he has the heart of a young man.He is still the student in that high school, standing on the roof looking at his teacher.

The beautiful moon seems to know what is on his mind, and it is equal and gentle with the moonlight shining on everything on the ground, including him.

It seemed to smooth over his anger and allow him to bury his hatred in the depths of his soul, somewhere deeper.

At this moment, his mind was extraordinarily clear.

Whether it is the head of the family, the position of heir to the country, the father of this world and his younger brother, all of these have lost their meaning to him.

It turns out that he himself has been worrying about such insignificant things, it's really sad.

The illusory memories from the future are actually more real than everything I have experienced in my life.So what was his empty life after all?

He suddenly felt that everything was not important anymore.

It's really strange, obviously he... just got that kind of memory.

Even if it is him in that memory, another Ji Guoyankatsu, the intersection with Dazai Osamu is nothing more than that.

It's not a close friend, just a student and a teacher; there is no treasure or friendship, Dazai Osamu always brings philosophy lessons that are generally incomprehensible to Iwakatsu, and pouring out negative emotions, Iwakatsu is simply an individual to him A mental trash can.He even suspected that Osamu Dazai chose him because he knew that Iwakatsu was dull, ignorant and indifferent.

... Iwakatsu wouldn't care about it, and he wouldn't stop it, probably because of this reason.

As a result, Ji Guoyansheng, who would not care about it or stop it, suffered so much pain that he could not breathe because of his ignorance and ignorance.

——"If you don't want this kind of memory, do you want to do an experiment with me? Throw it into another world, and test the constriction of the world line in history~"

Saiki Kongsuke's jokes, for Ji Guoyansheng at that time, should be equivalent to salvation.Whether it is logical is no longer within the scope of his consideration.

Ji Guoyansheng came to the conclusion that, for him, it has indeed changed.

All the things that were important before became no longer important. If you want to ask, this is his biggest feeling.

"...You ask why you say 'the moon is so beautiful' means I love you? I don't know~ Because it is said by a celebrity, celebrity, everyone knows famous quotes from celebrities, so it becomes a substitute language. If I I would definitely not say that. My words are mostly "Please die in love with me"? But if someone really dies in love with me, I probably don't want to die anymore. Think about it, someone is willing to die in love with you! This Is there at least one person in the world who misses me?"

Sad Osamu Dazai, in this world, no one misses you.

Yan Sheng thought angrily, he didn't know why he was angry, in short, he was very angry.

But what's the point of being mad at someone who doesn't exist?

He can only make up his mind that no matter what happens, he will live well.As for you, just die well and go to hell, Osamu Dazai!Fortunately, you are still a teacher, still a teacher!You should go to hell for doing such a thing in front of children!

It was also difficult for Ji Guoyansheng to explain why his resentment turned from his relatives back to Dazai Osamu, the culprit.In short, after scolding Dazai in his heart, he was surprisingly calm.

He decided to leave to follow the country.This is his country, but not his home.What the head of the family needs is only a successor, not him Ji Guoyansheng.Just like Osamu Dazai just asked casually, that person can be anyone, as long as you agree to him and give him a reason to stay.But it happens to be the most dull and incomprehensible him.

Yan Sheng wanted to get some things, such as a change of clothes or money, but suddenly he realized that it was no different from staying at home, since he had to rely on the money and clothes at home when he left, which did not prove that he still relied on the inheritance nation?

As a child who is only seven years old, it is natural to rely on the elders.But when placed on him, it extends the relationship between interests and rights.

... If Osamu Dazai is used to eating meals with students and colleagues to satisfy his stomach, he will probably laugh at him for being overconfident, arrogant and unrealistic.Is it really bad to be a human being?Wouldn't it be best to just steal their money and not listen to their words?

But Ji Guoyansheng has such a character, a kind of arrogance that is superior in his bones, which makes him disdain it.There may be something in the future that will interrupt his arrogance, break his arrogance, and let him see what reality looks like.But now he doesn't regret his choice.

Ji Guo Yansheng, the heir of the Ji country, took a knife and wore the most common clothes he usually wears, and left in the dark.

Whether it's his father who irritated him, or his mother who was gentle and weak, or the only important brother who once occupied all his brains, all of them are out of his consideration now.He just wanted to get out of here, away from here, to prove to some bastard who never existed that he could live well by himself.

But I don't know why, unknowingly, his direction of travel has become the direction of the moon.

After leaving home for a long time, he gradually relaxed. He looked at the moon and found it really incredible.

Some things are always around you, but you don't think it's so important.But when the darkness takes hold of you, it alone is with you, lighting the way for you.

"Have you ever thought about leaving home, school, and going further afield, Yan Sheng-kun? Why don't you try it, maybe you will have a different experience."

What did he say then?He asked, like you?Have you had a different experience?

Then, his teacher lay on the ground like a dead salted fish and said, ah, yes, it's the same everywhere.But maybe it's different?One hundred times, one thousand times, ten thousand times, one hundred thousand times, one million times, piled up in huge numbers, maybe one time is different?

"It's not really different, sir. The only difference...is just to try."

Should it be said that brothers are of one heart?Hearing that he might be promoted to the position of Patriarch and that his older brother would be sent to the temple, Jiguo Yuanyi thought of leaving Jiguo.

For him, the most important thing in this family is his mother and elder brother.All other beings, including Father, are 'others'.

Unlike Ji Guoyansheng, who was educated as the head of the family from birth, Yuanyi's education is seriously lacking. He is equivalent to being abandoned and raised, secretly raised by his mother and maids.During this period, the elder brother discovered his existence and improved his environment.But even so, his life is missing an important stage that is most suitable for receiving moral character and human education.The only template he refers to is his elder brother.

——Of course, he didn't feel that defeating his elder brother's swordsmanship teacher was an important matter.

Do you care what insects think?

You were asked to catch a dragonfly, so you caught the dragonfly's wings, and the people around you praised it happily, how would you feel?

...Is this something to boast about?Just a dragonfly.

Most likely so.

Therefore, it is very incomprehensible for him to change the attitude of everyone, following the attitude of the country, the attitude of his father, and his elder brother.

It's like, you caught a dragonfly, and someone told you that because you couldn't catch a dragonfly, your elder brother couldn't eat, but you can eat two cakes today.

What is it like for you?

...Are you sick?It's just this kind of thing, it's just this kind of thing, why make things difficult for my elder brother?

The father was very proud, but he never realized the fact that the new heir he valued, his other son, Ji Guo Yuan Yi, had never spoken to him.

never.

As the successor to the patriarch of the country, he is actually "something else" in Yuan's eyes.If other people were insects, then my father would at most be a rabbit, a rabbit with teeth and claws.

Yuan Yi, I really don't understand why my elder brother and my mother should care about my father's feelings.For him, catching a dragonfly is not much different from catching a rabbit in terms of difficulty.The only problem is, this is the rabbit my mother loves and my brother loves, so he can't treat the rabbit like a dragonfly.

So the only thing Yuanyi can do is to leave this house as soon as possible, so as not to embarrass his mother and elder brother.

But he didn't do this, the mother's body is quite weak, and she may pass away at any time.He wanted to accompany his mother to the end, and then leave.

Such willfulness made him miss the opportunity to leave here.

On the second day, when everyone told him that his elder brother was leaving and that he, who was with his mother, failed to know in time to stop him, Yuan was taken aback.

It was a development he never imagined.

...Why is this happening?Just for a dragonfly, a rabbit?

what.

no.

In the eyes of the elder brother, they are all human beings, important people, the master of the elder brother, and the father.They were all human beings with a similar body structure, with a heart and blood flowing in the blood vessels in the lungs, which he should have known from the beginning.

Ji Guoyuan finally understands the fatal mistake he made.

Other humans, not 'something else', were living beings who would affect him, my lord mother, and my brother.

"It's my fault. I will bring my elder brother back. After the head of the country, there is only my elder brother."

Ji Guoyuan made such a promise.

The current Patriarch of Ji Country got angry: "What are you talking about, Yuan Yi! There's no need to worry about that coward! Since he's gone, it's just - wait, where are you going, stop him!"

The two guards stepped forward, and in just a moment, they were turned on their backs. They didn't even know what happened, they could only kneel on the ground and tremble.

Holding the knife, the child who hadn't even pulled the knife out of its sheath looked at the tall Patriarch with a livid face expressionlessly.

"What do you think of my elder brother?"

The man couldn't answer.

For a moment, he even thought that it was not his own flesh and blood, but the ghosts and gods born in his wife's womb, born into the world through human flesh and blood.It is ridiculous and pitiful to mistakenly think that he can use his blood to contain and use him.

Afterwards, the monster with human appearance left just like that, and no one dared to stop it.

——Of course, I regard him as my son, so I don't want you to kill each other, and I hope you and him can both survive.

In this case, he will never have a chance to say it again.