[Football] Son of God Raiders Manual

【1】New grouping

Ever since social networking became popular in football, Meilingers have developed an unwritten habit——

Browse the players' social networks. %

Surprisingly or frustratingly, many players in Real Madrid have their own social accounts, and some of them are jointly managed by themselves and the team, such as Kaka and Cristiano, Ramos and Cassie...why? What about one-on-one?

Naturally, it is because everyone's degree of Internet addiction can be classified into different categories.

For example, Kaka and Cristiano are a group of selfie addicts. As the name suggests, this couple often shares their photos on their social networking sites, whether it is daily life, competitions or advertisements-this point Especially Cristiano is the most prominent; Ramos and Cassie are the frame and filter crazy Internet addiction group, they both have to add a frame or filter to everything they post, even the usual training photos are treated the same; as for the others Types, such as the Internet addiction group of crazy jokers like Marcelo, and the Internet addiction group of basketball teenagers (?) like Wa Xueba, are countless.

For a while, the players of Real Madrid's Internet Addiction Treatment Club started their own crazy lives on the Internet.

【2】Daily life of Internet Addiction Boys Group

Cristiano: "Today's lunch was great :d [thumbs up] [ok] [eyes covered]" [picture.jpg]

The Portuguese routinely posted a picture on the social network, and now he is used to the nickname of "Internet addicted boy punching Carlo". After all, he is the one who posts his status first all day, so there is " Good morning cards, work cards, training cards, advertising cards, good night cards, etc. must-have check-in procedures.

Drip - breakfast card. Cristiano dubbed himself in his heart, then put down his phone with a laugh and looked at Kaka beside him: "Kaka, did you like me?"

Kaka looked up at him blankly. The Brazilian was a little sleepy just after getting up, but he quickly took out his mobile phone and looked at it after hearing this sentence. "cris, you put my head in the picture of breakfast."

"It's okay, it's just a corner, who knows you." Cristiano said nonchalantly, put the phone back in his pocket and started eating breakfast, he really thought so, after all, it's only half a head, who Can you recognize a person with a small half of your head?

Maybe everyone will think it is junior, hehehe.

【3】#米fensituan What kind of experience is it to have a very high IQ#

Cristiano really underestimated the IQ and observation skills of netizens. When facing a romantic relationship, everyone can instantly become Sherlock Holmes.

So someone was stunned to tell from the size of the head, the angle and position of the hair on the top of the head, the difference in hair color and volume, and how much, it is absolutely impossible for this head to be Junior's curly hair.

Then according to the exclusion method, they excluded all the close friends around Cristiano, and then came to the final conclusion that——

I firmly believe that the cardboard brother has no waist curls: [Really, stiano, is it really okay for you to take pictures instead of pulling the cardboard brother?He has been so sleepy that his whole head is buried in the plate, it looks like a huge plate of nostig...]

Bah, you are the Facai, your whole family is Facai!

[4] Comments are the feature film series

The president's wife admires the night: [I feel that the president's face is filled with the joy of revenge hahaha! "It's not that the time has not come"!Kaka must be dead sleepy to be slapped on the head by the president, what did the two of them do last night to make Kaka so sleepy...]

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Dudu, Dumos: [I think it must have been caused by too much xxoo last night!When I think about the scene where the two of them are rolling around together, I just... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! 】

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The white shirt is hidden under the green shirt: 【After taking the photo, Kaka is still in a daze, "Little fairy, why can't you wake up, do you want me to wake you up?" The president said with a wicked smile. He pulled the man into his arms and gave him a predatory deep kiss. 】

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Ding Ding Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Sai Luo: [Ha ha ha ha ha upstairs gj!Then I'll post it too → "Well... don't make trouble, I want to sleep..." Kaka patted the president's head helplessly, but who knew that this made his eyes darker, and the president pushed him down At the dinner table and dry off. 】

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Realmichael: [Then what the hell is it after having a good time hahahahaha!I guess the situation at that time should be like this → "Don't sleep Kaka, if you sleep again, I will take pictures of your ugly appearance on the Internet!" The president shook Kaka, who knew that Kaka tilted her head and pointed at him She smiled sleepily: "Don't be so noisy, let me sleep for a while, didn't you satisfy you last night?"]

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Moon clouds and fireworks, Real Madrid San Cassie and the Bernabéu: [Oh, this can be!No matter what, it's "We were too tired last night, so we are so sleepy today"!The president's mischievous smile and Kaka's sleeping head are really easy to make people think wrong...]

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Fresh Chinese soy drinks are directly supplied to Madrid: [The daily life of the domineering president Luo and the belly black card. "Did I not feed you enough?" "I'd better eat you for breakfast!" I feel that no matter who said these two sentences to each other, they are cute on their own! ! 】

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Real Madrid Zi went straight to the sky: [I really doubt the rhythm of these two people coming out every minute. Do you think they came out first or the pair from Milan came out first?I bet the Premier League is a great rotten country after all! 】

This is a relatively "interesting" paragraph intercepted from Cristiano's ins, twitter and facebook comments. Cristiano sighed while watching: "I feel like reading my own comment area is like visiting a brothel..." His social network is actually It has become a football field... no, it should be said that it is the largest YY venue in the sports world.

terrible.

【5】Reject the life of Internet celebrities, start with you and me

"The president posted a post! He posted about his baby!"

"The CEO is posting again! He posted about his baby, his house, his yard, and his luxury car!"

"The CEO double-posted again! He posted about his training and commercial shooting!"

"The president double-posted again! He posted himself!"

Because someone suddenly showed great enthusiasm for social networks, and he enthusiastically showed everything about himself to the public, which also caused an uproar in his Mifensi.

"Oh my God, is my husband crazy? It's okay, even if you are crazy, we will still love you!" "It must have been stimulated..." "It must have been stimulated!" "A, hurry up!" "Marcelo, take care of it!" "Ramos, take care of it!" "Calm down upstairs, you Aite people will only let them mess around with him..."

For the first time in his life, the headlines of Aspen, Marca and World Sports were all given to Cristiano Ronaldo, a professional who posted more than 20 updates in just three days of high-intensity competitions, with an average of ** a day boy.His obsession with the Internet also made the major newspapers notice his abnormality.

Aspen: Crazy social!The online world of football superstars

Marca: The world bows to him, he bows to social networks

Mundo Deportivo: Crazy addiction to social networks, where is the professional ethics of Real Madrid players?

——Go to hell, World Sports Daily, why don't you care about whether your little man went shopping in the street today? !

Cristiano, a big salesman with a marketing account and a small underpants/shoes/perfume expert, sent the last social message contentedly, turned off his phone and went to sleep, not caring what his comment section had become.

... Anyway, his comment area has long been the same as the kiln.

【6】My idol is the same age as his son

cristiano: sleep with my boys good night. [Star Moon][zzz][zzz][Cover Eyes]【Picture.jpg】

After seeing this news, the people who were waiting for the good night card instantly became excited, ready to prepare the next wave of jokes——

Sour Moss: [Oh my God, dad feels good with two children... Funny [laughing and crying emoji] Why does it feel like three older children? ! 】

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Juan Sailuo: [The upstairs is talking nonsense!It is clear that Ka is five years old, Luo is three years old, and Luo is two and a half years old, okay? ! 】

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Benzemao: [Hahaha Luo laughed and cried at the age of two and a half, I think the president must be at least the same age as junior no matter how funny he is! 】

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The golden retriever is my father-in-law: [The above is justified, Ka is five years old and there is a long way to go, I have to play with my two younger brothers [laughing emoji]]

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The master is mighty and majestic: [Only I want to know where the eight-year-old card went...]

Yes!What about Kaka? !Why is it Cristiano with two children tonight?

Could it be that Kaka was stuck on the other side of the bed?

Or even the guy who took their picture? !

However, they had such a good idea. There is no news from Jorge—after all, he doesn’t have a social network account, and he doesn’t need this thing, so ordinary people really can’t contact them—but there are well-informed people. ah?

【7】There is no impenetrable wall in the world

There are no impervious walls in the world.

An Adidas internal staff revealed that they wanted to prepare a series of exquisite promotional videos and posters for Kaka to be used for the annual advertising plan, so Kaka left early and returned late these days, in order not to affect Kaka In the sleep of the card, Cristiano took the initiative to propose a separation and took Luca over, so the two lived a miserable life of "not seeing each other except for training and competitions".

Naturally, the life of a professional player is boring. Although some commercial shooting can be interspersed in the middle, once the workload reaches a certain level, it is tiring enough.The Brazilian performed well on the first day of work, but on the second day his condition obviously began to decline. Although he was still very conscientious during the commercial shooting, once the filming ended That's when he started—

Jorge sighed and walked over, patted him on the shoulder: "Are you tired?"

"No." Kaka shook her head, "I just miss Luca."

miss luca?Probably because I miss Cristiano and others.Jorge took the complaint naturally in his heart, and then patted him on the shoulder: "You wait, I will find a way for you."

What can Jorge do?He went out of the studio directly, and then called the Portuguese superstar. On the phone, he gritted his teeth and begged: "I don't care what method you use, in short, let Kaka cheer up. Hurry up and finish the shooting. We can reunite soon, can’t we?” Who made this stupid boy refuse to sign with Adidas at that time!Otherwise, it will be more convenient to manage now that his three superstars are all in Adidas.

The most important thing is... more money!Nike is a manly manufacturer!

Cristiano was stunned immediately. After all, the situation at the time was—he made an appointment with Kaka not to use the system in a critical situation. He was training almost every day and had to answer advertisements and take care of his children in between, and text messages?Come on, the Brazilians will be cold by the time they can see it.

And don't Brazilians love to watch the excitement?Then he will create some excitement, so that when the news reaches the Brazilians, it will be lively and exciting, which will make everyone excited.So for this purpose. Cristiano began to frantically swiping his screen every day, updating his news on social networks whenever he was free, so that the other party could see it as soon as he was busy.

——The system "Ding Dong" expresses dissatisfaction, obviously using it can make conversations more convenient!Cristiano smiled and rubbed the furry head of the child in his arms in response to the system's non-stop "ding dong ding dong" protest sound in his mind.

"Ding dong, sometimes the taste of longing is much better."

【8】Missing Brewed Wine

Kaka has not come back to live for a week.

Adidas really paid attention to this advertisement this time, so Kaka hardly had any free time to rest. In order to make it easier for him to rest, Cristiano took care of two children by himself, but this was still a drop in the bucket, and Kaka was finally forced to temporarily moved back into his house.

If it wasn't like this, Kaka would have been exhausted and paralyzed long ago. After all, the amount of work and exercise has increased sharply now, and they can only give up one of them that takes up more energy.

However, under such circumstances, Cristiano began to send photos to introduce himself and everything around him every day.

The tires of my favorite car have been changed. Junior is still playing wildly with Luca on the grass today, but was scared by Vicky and jumped so high. What to eat and wear today...

Little things, little by little, almost every detail like he reported, just looking at someone's home and laughing, and then looking through the window to see what the other person is doing, how is the two sons, how are they? Are you doing homework or playing games now?

Sometimes their eyes can meet, Cristiano just looks at him, expressing helpless support with deep resentment and blackness, while Luca keeps blinking his beautiful big eyes, and then shows him a bright smile And draw a big heart with his short hands, "write" with great effort: "Come on, work papa!"

When talking about this matter on the phone or during training, Kaka still felt very strange, with a subtle sense of strangeness: "Does he know what I'm doing?" "Of course he knows, what do you think he is?" Cristiano complained with a smile, then paused and said: "We will wait for you to come back!"

...Please, he is only going to shoot an advertisement, not go to the battlefield?

However, in response to Jorge's call, he decided to use his actual actions to show that fried rice is easy to sell.

Cristiano had a good time and Kaka had a good time watching. As soon as he was happy, the progress of the shooting increased, so what could have been completed in three weeks turned into one and a half weeks. When he came back, Ricky was almost happy. Crazy, she kept rubbing against him, Kaka was stunned: "What's wrong?"

When he entered the house, Cristiano hadn't come out to greet him. This is really a rare thing, after all, they have to express how natural they are to each other when they appear beside them!

【9】Looking up at the starry sky and being down-to-earth

Where is Cristiano?

Actually he is in the kitchen.

Cristiano can hardly do anything, except for sandwiches and fruit salads, which don't care about water and fire...

But today he just eats the weight and is determined to cook, just like the small space in the kitchen will definitely belong to him.

Kaka leaned against the door and intended to say hello to Cristiano, but seeing his momentum, the Brazilian swallowed for the first time and took a small half step back.

Cristiano doing one of those tricks Aunt Kathy passed on—

Look up to the stars.

The aura that made Kaka unable to go any further came from the ball of rice in front of Yu. Obviously, this murderous baby just failed to knead the ball of rice into the shape he wanted Just crying.

Iron-blooded tenderness!Come on man! 【bu

"To be honest, my cooking skills are at best the level of boiled eggs. Trying to look up at the starry sky may be a bit complicated." Cristiano looked over with complicated eyes, after all, it was his first time trying this style of dish ...

And still in the absence of anyone to guide him.

"Then why did you suddenly think of doing this today?" Kaka's face was very puzzled, and Cristiano was silent for a while, then turned his head away.

"Every time I go to Mr. Ferguson's house, Aunt Casey will... cook this dish for me." The Portuguese's voice sounded a bit forbearing. "She said that this dish is a dish that must be made whenever the family returns after leaving, symbolizing that the family is finally reunited."

Brother Kazhi was very moved when he heard this, and he would definitely eat this Stargazing Pie—whether it is as bad as the rumors say or not.

【10】New star in the dark cooking world

What kind of chemical effect will a dark dish, which is already unpalatable, have when paired with a person who can't cook at all?

The resulting chemical effect is that this dish has risen to a whole new level in terms of its terrifying appearance and strange taste.

Facing the Stargazing Pie who took out the oven, the two of them were silent for a while, and then looked at each other.

"...Is this already ready?" Kaka asked hesitantly for the first time facing the Starry Sky Pie, and it was also the first time he encountered such a dish that challenged people's psychological limits.

A piece of pie should look like a pie, so why are there so many dying and horrifying fish heads popping up on top of this pie? ! !Why? !

Cristiano carefully observed the pie dough, and found that some seemed to be dry-the baking time seemed a little long?Moreover, he didn't know anything about making flour, rice, fermented and mixed butter before, and he didn't know if he made a mistake.

But at least judging from the dead fish and the terribly greasy cake base, this pie is what a normal stargazing pie should look like.

"It should be edible." Finally, Cristiano announced.

The two of them each took a piece of pie and couldn't help swallowing subconsciously when facing the fish head—not greedy, but full of fear in their hearts.

After all, no matter how you say it, dead fish eyes are too permeating...

The two of them took a silent bite.

Cacana's tongue, which has tasted Brazilian, Italian and Spanish cuisine, can immediately identify the fish in it.

It has a very fishy smell and is sticky and greasy. I don’t know what is sticky with the fish meat. It tastes very sweet. Two possibilities——When the Portuguese made this The butter was not melted, the Portuguese put sugar in it.

Melting butter is a very simple matter, so there is only one possibility.

he!put!sugar!up!

Kaka wrinkled his face almost immediately, but when he looked to one side of Cristiano, he found that he looked thoughtful and seemed not to be affected by the cake at all?

Amazing? !Could it be that this cake should taste like this? !

Kaka hesitated for a moment, and decided to take another bite of the cake, maybe he couldn't taste the cake!

However, after the second bite, the sweeter, more fishy, ​​and more viscous to some disgusting taste filled the mouth at once, and the Brazilian couldn't help but turned his head and threw the pie into the trash can.

Cristiano·ronaldo, I work so hard to support my family outside, you will give me this when I come back? !

However, before Kaka had time to put forward his love proposal, he watched Cristiano quickly ate the piece of pie in his hand, and licked his own fingers, looking at him suspiciously while eating: "Taste It’s not bad, it’s very authentic...why Kaka, don’t you want to eat it?”

... Kaka said that he refused any British recipes.

The author has something to say: The main purpose of this chapter is [People who often leave comments and throw mines will be twisted and twisted into the article by the author hehehe]

...Why does it sound like a curse orzz bah bah bah bah, there are no taboos in the first hundred years of the new year!

Happy New Year everyone~ I originally wanted to give out red envelopes, but I remembered the tragedy of Christmas...

Talking about leaving a message to send a red envelope, and then no one left a message. The next day everyone said [the author, we don’t want the red envelope, you just add it]...

I don’t know if those people are still here [laughing and crying]

I added more as promised [smiling with tears and saying x]

And after watching last night's game, I suddenly became very interested in my big soft girl, Magic Flute... My mind was full of such a scene——

Magic Flute: Natie has been forced by you to evolve into a defensive goalkeeper, can you still do it?If you can't do it, mom will be on it!

Then the soft girl who has been serving as a nanny to feed the striker rushed forward and killed the opponent, leaving all the stunned teammates behind.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha x

Soft girl is so cute!

Thank you Dudu dear mine~

Thank you Huaye for the grenade~

Thank you Qingshan Yinyin for the rocket launcher~