Male god, male god, my lazy cancer has committed again

【about delivery】

Fan Chen has been receiving couriers recently, and all the recipients on the couriers are not named by him, he feels very distressed.

So when he took the small box from the courier for the n100th time, he was completely furious.

"Lei! Big! Head!" He called Lei Ying by his nickname, holding the small box he had just received, and stormed into the study angrily.

Lei Ying: "?"

Fan Chen shook the courier box in his hand and questioned him: "Why do you have courier delivery every day! Tell me! Did some idiot send it out!"

Lei Ying took the courier from Fan Chen, glanced at the courier slip on it, and began to unpack the courier, "Aren't you the only one with my brains?"

"I don't care!!!" Fan Chen was unconvinced, "In the future, you will receive the courier yourself, and I will never care about you again!"

Fan Chen, who said to never mind him again, squinted at the courier he opened, and then saw him take out a strange and wretched-looking thing from the small box.

Fan Chen: "...What is this thing? Am I thinking wrong? Damn!" When he saw that Lei Ying had completely removed the packaging, he was so shocked that he almost jumped up on the spot, "Fuck! The current rice Are they all so obscene and filthy! How could you send such an unsightly thing!"

Inside the courier was a rubber mace covered in thorns.

Lei Ying played with the thing in his hand for a while, as if he was very satisfied with it, "Do you want to try it?"

"Try your sister!" Fan Chen felt that if he was stabbed by Lei Ying with that thing, the chrysanthemum would rot!

Regardless of his resistance, Lei Ying got up and dragged him out, "Don't be shy, you didn't say you wanted to come up with something new? And you still care that Qi Jin borrowed a lot of s♂m books with different flavors."

Fan Chen immediately became angry: "Damn! The prince betrayed me!! I want to curse him for not being able to catch up with his little landlord! He will eat dog food for the rest of his life!"

Lei Yingcai didn't care what kind of curse Qi Jin was, but he thought he had worked diligently under him for so long, so he kindly clarified for him, "Actually, you used my mobile phone to log in to Penguin and forgot to log out. Also, your I have received the book, rest assured that I will study hard and definitely satisfy you."

Fan Chen: "I'm so fucking crazy!!"

Fan Chen: "Fucking bastard, let me go!!!"

Fan Chen: "Aww!!!!"

Fan Chen: "Datou Lei, you beast qaq"

【About raising a dog】

Fan Chen was so bored, he watched a movie about dogs, and was obsessed with the cute dogs in it.So on a whim, he ran to the study room and hugged Lei Ying's neck stickily.

Lei Ying has long been used to his coquettish way, and asked while typing: "What's the matter?"

Fan Chen smirked, and patted his shoulders and rubbed his back attentively: "God, let's raise a dog!"

Lei Ying refused without even thinking about it: "Raising you is already exhausting enough, I don't have the energy to raise it anymore."

Fan Chen got up from under his arm, hugged him from the front and kissed him fiercely, "You don't need to worry about it, I'll just do it."

Lei Ying finally moved his gaze from the computer screen to his face: "Are you sure?"

Fan Chen nodded furiously: "Definitely and definitely!"

Lei Ying finally nodded in agreement: "Alright then."

On Sunday, Fan Chen and Lei Ying went out together to pick up their dog and go home.

The dog is white all over, with short fluffy fur, very cute.As soon as Fan Chen got home, he hugged the dog happily and refused to let go.

Seeing that he was happy, Lei Ying was also happy in his heart, but seeing that he ignored him as soon as he had a dog, he was a little jealous of the dog.

Fan Chen brought the dog to his new home, and played with it for a while before suddenly remembering that he hasn't named the dog yet!

"God and God, what do you think we should name our son?" Fan Chen ran up to Lei Ying with the dog in his arms, asking for advice from the dog's father.

Father Dog thought for a while, then said: "Your name is Fan Xiaochen, your son should be called Fan Dachen."

Fan Chen said: "Bah, bah, bah! How can a son be called the older and I be called the younger! This name is a bad review! Do it all over again!"

Lei Ying turned on the computer and prepared to update the code. He really didn't have the energy to think of a name for him, so he coaxed: "You can decide the name. Anyway, as long as it is your name, I like it."

Fan Chen was hit by his love words, his heart was warm, and he smiled very sweetly, "In this case, I will do it myself! Don't worry, I will let our son take your last name."

Lei Ying couldn't laugh or cry.

Fan Chen didn't want to disturb him anymore, so he took the dog out.

After Lei Ying finished updating the two articles, he stretched out and went out lightly, wanting to surprise his wife, but he didn't expect to see Fan Chen squatting next to the sofa, holding the dog's two Grab the broken thoughts before.

"Son, remember it well, from now on your name will be Lei Ergou, your eldest father will be Lei Datou, your name will be Lei Ergou, and your little father will be the handsome and witty Fanchen Baba! Do you remember? Damn it, I will call you Lei Ergou in the future and you will agree, let’s try it once. Lei Ergou!"

Lei Ergou: "Wow!"

Fan Chen: "Big Head Lei!"

Lei Ergou: "?"

Fan Chen: "Lei Ergou!"

Lei Ergou: "Wow!"

Fan Chen patted Lei Ergou's head in satisfaction: "So cute~"

Lei Ergou: "Wow!"

Lei Datou rubbed his twitching forehead, and decided to go back and continue to code and save the manuscript.

【About fan comics】

When Fan Chen was browsing Weibo, he accidentally discovered that Mi Fensi had drawn a warm and sweet four-frame comic between him and Lei Ying.

He thinks it's very interesting, holding the ipad and watching it endlessly.

However, the speed of producing food is always slower than eating food. Fan Chen finished reading all four grids in just one day, and he suddenly felt empty, lonely and cold.

At this time, he suddenly discovered that the blogger who drew four frames had a new blog. He thought that there was a new four frames, so he excitedly clicked on it.

Mango Xiaosimi: #雷风##雷风daily sweet and warm four grids#_(:3ゝ∠)_Everyone is urging me to draw, but I have nothing to say, it’s not my fault that I have a small brain hole, so Ni Meng thinks Just tell me what stalk you see, I will pick the cutest stalk and draw it to benefit the public.

Although this blogger is not a big v, but because of her good painting style and high output, there are a lot of fans who follow her.

As soon as this Weibo was posted, in a short while, many mifensi poured in from the underground to comment.Fan Chen read while refreshing, and found that in addition to the routine cute ones and kneeling and licking ones in the comments, there are more jokes with big brains, but most of these jokes are very pornographic and violent. , Posting it on the Internet in minutes will block it into the kind of mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth!

Fan Chen reprimanded them, these filthy demon kings, for their nasty thoughts, and at the same time refreshed the meme with great joy.

As he swiped, he was suddenly attracted by one of the bloggers.

The blogger's id is "Rainy Day's Flower Field", and his avatar is a short-haired Q-version girl.Fan Chen felt that the blogger's atmosphere as a whole gave him a very friendly feeling. Not only was the atmosphere friendly, but the jokes she posted were also soft and warm, and they didn't make people feel obscene at all, although the ending of her jokes always Yes, I will add a sentence "they will have a good time after that", but compared to other jokers, they are simply refreshing fighters.

And the painter girl also happened to see this "Flower Field on a Rainy Day" joke, not only replied to her, but also forwarded her comment, telling Mi Fensi that she picked this stalk and was going to draw it.

While waiting for the girl to draw four frames, Fan Chen's hands were itchy, so he decided to register for a small account to post short jokes between them. If other people's posts are all made up by their fantasies, then post some by themselves Wouldn't it be better to have real ones!

Just do it!Fan Chen immediately logged out and re-registered a Weibo account. He named his account "Small Soil in the Big Woods", thinking that such a brainless and illogical name would definitely not be recognized by others.Then he purposely set his gender as female, and to cover it up, he found a q version of a girl with long hair and big breasts as her avatar.

After doing all this, the more he watched, the more he felt satisfied, and then he immediately paid attention to the painter, and then he began to write meme for the painter.

When he wrote the third stalk, the painter girl came back, and brought back the four-frame comic drawn by the girl stalk of "Rainy Flower Field".

Fan Chen poked open the cartoon, and was rolled all over the ground by being so cute.

Lei Ergou was squatting in his den and taking a nap, when he suddenly saw his second dad's abnormal behavior, he tilted his head and looked at him in bewilderment, wondering if he should run to his elder dad for help.

Fan Chen was rolling around, when a new message came out of his ipad to remind him, he immediately sat up from the ground to read the news.

The moment Lei Ergou sat up, he subconsciously hid back, and the drowsy feeling of drowsiness just now woke up instantly under this shock.He felt that he should go to find his father and tell him that his second father was abnormal again.

Fan Chen clicked on the message and found that he had been flopped by the painter's girl!

Mango Xiaosago replied to Xiaotu in the big forest: The girl’s stalks are so cute [heart] I really want to draw each one!Girl begging for more! [kiss][kiss]

Fan Chen looked up to the sky and laughed while holding his mobile phone, his meme was about to be greatly drawn!Could not be happier!ha!ha!ha!

Finally, Lei Ergou couldn't stand it any longer, and wagged his tail, he went to the study to find Daddy.

A few days later, Fan Chen went to the study to find Lei Ying, who happened to go to the bathroom.

Seeing that his computer screen was on, Fan Chen wanted to take a sneak peek at his novel archives, so after making sure that Lei Ying would not come back soon, he sneaked to the computer, but there was no archives on the screen at all, instead A Weibo homepage was opened.

Fan Chen took a closer look. Damn, isn't this the homepage of "Flower Fields on Rainy Days"! !

He flipped the table angrily, and rushed to the toilet door to find Lei Ying's theory.

Lei Ying was blocked by him at the door of the toilet, at a loss for what to do. Looking at his angry expression again, he suddenly thought of something.

He smiled and said, "The little soil in the big forest is you, right?"

Fan Chen snorted, "Don't change the subject!"

Lei Ying said frankly: "The flower field in rainy days is me."

Fan Chen said: "I haven't asked yet!"

Lei Ying pushed him back against the wall next to him, pressed his waist and kissed him deeply, and then let him go until he was gasping for breath. He smiled and said, "Very good, I wrote another joke today."

So the next day Fan Chen saw that artist girl draw a comic in which the two of them each built a trumpet and lost their horses one after another.

From this day on, the two bloggers "Flower Field on a Rainy Day" and "Small Soil in the Big Woods" have been tirelessly comparing and writing memes for the painter girl every day, making the painter girl very busy and making " "Lei Feng Dang" shouted satisfied, no longer worrying about running out of food.

【About H】

This day, Lei Ying's computer suddenly had a problem, so he had to borrow Fan Chen's computer for the time being to catch up with the update for the day.

Halfway through the code word, Fan Chen's penguin suddenly rang wildly. Lei Ying couldn't bear it anymore, he poked open the message and found that it was Abu who was urging the sound.

He had no choice but to suspend the code, and went out to tell Fan Chen about Abu's threat, "Lei Yue said that if you don't make a sound again, I will poke your ass."

Fan Chen rolled his eyes, thinking that the current girls are too immoral.

He said: "The audio is recorded, it's in my computer, you can find it yourself and send it to her."

Lei Ying went back and started looking for his recordings one by one.

After looking for it, he suddenly found an audio file named "Top Secret! Don't open it without my permission! Otherwise, you will be infected with the Second Virus!".

Lei Ying has known Fan Chen for so long, so he knows very well under what circumstances he would set a file with such a weird name.So he secretly put on his earphones and clicked on the file.

There was a three-second blank space at the beginning of the file, followed by a very distinct gasp and groan.

Based on Lei Ying's understanding of Fan Chen, this panting and moaning was definitely not dubbed by him on purpose, but it was not like the sound of him calling the bed when they usually had sex.Lei Ying thought for a while, and decisively uploaded the recording to his mobile phone.

At night, when the two were embracing each other, Lei Ying suddenly played the recording when Fan Chen was about to reach a climax.

Fan Chen suddenly became frightened when he heard the shameful recording of himself.

It was only later that he confessed to Lei Ying that when he was recording the H of "Cang Hai Yin", he suddenly felt it, and then it came out so naturally, and when he was done, he suddenly remembered that he forgot to turn it off. Recording, and then he felt that this recording was quite natural, and he planned to use this to fill in if he couldn't find the feeling when recording h in the future.

Lei Ying immediately became angry when he heard the words: "You still want to use this to top up?!"

Fan Chen shrank his neck subconsciously, and said aggrievedly: "I didn't have that experience at the time, and I didn't know how to record it, so I thought so. Now that I have you, naturally I won't get stuck on the recording."

Lei Ying pressed him down and bit his chin hard, angrily said: "Delete that recording for me."

Fan Chen was hurt by his teeth, hugged his neck and rubbed against him, but it didn't matter, he felt it again, so he had to look at Lei Ying pitifully, and promised: "I'll delete it in a while. .”

Satisfied with his promise, Lei Ying parted his legs and tried his best to satisfy him.

When he was about to rush up to the clouds, he stopped suddenly and said: "No more h in the future, if it is absolutely necessary..." He gave him a hard push ♂.

Fan Chen immediately said with tears in his eyes: "Don't answer it, don't answer it, I will delete it!"

Lei Ying was very satisfied and finally stopped torturing him.

That night, both of them ate and drank enough, and slept soundly.