throbbing for you

Fu Siyu's expression flashed a little nervous: "Aren't you afraid to see my father?"

Shi Yi tilted his head slightly, showing a puzzled expression.

Fu Siyu was surprised, raised his eyebrows, and asked: "My sister didn't tell you, did she come out with my dad two days ago?"

Shi Yi suppressed his smile in an instant, and his shock was obvious.

Fu Siyu was helpless: "I knew it, but she didn't say it."

Shi Yi's brows were wrinkled, anxious and annoyed in his heart, but he still kept his tone, protecting Fu Sitian and said, "It should be that I was on a business trip a few days ago, she was afraid that I would be upset, so she didn't say anything."

"Is uncle okay? Is your sister... okay?"

Fu Siyu was a little surprised, but then there was a look of admiration and relief in his eyes.

"My dad is a little hard to accept, after all, he wasn't mentally prepared before."

Shi Yi's expression darkened, and his tone changed: "It's understandable." She stared at Fu Siyu, waiting for her to reveal more details.

Fu Siyu looked at her, but suddenly asked very jumpily: "About my sister's past, how much do you know about my sister's past?"

After bumping into Shi Yi eating hot pot at Fu Sitian's apartment that day, she pestered Fu Sitian and asked a lot of details about their relationship. She knew that Fu Sitian had known Shi Yi since she was very young, and that it was Shi Yi who Fu Sitian chased first. It was also Fu Sitian who first proposed to break up.She knew how Fu Sitian loved Shi Yi deeply, but she didn't know whether Shi Yi knew about it.

After all, her sister has always been a person who does more than talks.

Sure enough, Shi Yi said: "I know almost everything. However, what I know is only approximate."

"What about the past few years?"

Shi Yi said: "She said very little, they were all understatements, and they were all mentioned in one stroke."

Fu Siyu sighed, and Shi Yi's heart sank.She wasn't surprised, she just felt sad.Fu Siyu's sigh contained too many meanings.In the past few years when she didn't know and couldn't be with Fu Sitian, she must have suffered so much when she came.

Her eyes were dimmed, and when she raised her eyes again, she had already settled down.She invited Fu Siyu: "You see, it's almost time for dinner. Have you eaten yet? Is it convenient? Let's have a meal together and chat while eating?"

Fu Siyu looked back at her with sharp eyes.

Shi Yi looked at her frankly, with undisguised probing and requesting eyes, sincere and gentle, neither humble nor overbearing.

Fu Siyu laughed suddenly, and the two of them knew each other.

"Okay, let's go." Fu Siyu agreed generously.

So the two of them left the office, went to a local restaurant not far from the financial center, and asked for a private room to eat and chat slowly.

While waiting for the food to be served, Fu Siyu and Shi Yi once again talked about how Fu Sitian and Fu Jiantao came out of the closet suddenly: "We had dinner, sat in the living room and just finished confirming the order of cigarettes and wine for my wedding banquet. My dad was relieved." Suddenly, he joked, "Tiantian, everyone asked me when they accepted the invitation. This is the second child of the Fu family. Is there a sister on top of her? How do you say I should answer?" I handed an apple to my dad, and suddenly said, "Uncle, I'm actually dating someone now, and I want to spend my whole life with someone." My dad's eyes lit up, and before he had time to be happy, my sister immediately said, " It's a girl', my dad's smile froze on his face in a distorted manner."

"He was in a daze, and didn't react for several seconds. I was also in a daze, and I wasn't prepared at all. The whole living room could smell a needle drop."

Shi Yi became nervous when he heard this.She has experienced the feeling of torment.Never forget.

Fu Siyu said: "My dad couldn't accept it. It was the first time I saw my dad talking to my sister with such an ugly face, 'You say it again?', my dad frowned so much that he could kill a fly. I don't have the air Dare to come out, tilted half of my body, and was ready to rush to protect my sister at any time. Unexpectedly, my sister's eyes were red, but she didn't back down at all. Looking at my dad, she was silent for a few seconds, and repeated Again, 'Uncle, I'm dating now, and it's a girl, someone I've liked since high school. I don't want to keep it from you.'”

"She's fine, and I want to bring her back to meet you someday."

Shi Yi couldn't tell whether his heart was more distressed or more sorrowful.She used to think that in Fu Sitian's heart, her family members might be more important, and even when they reconciled, she always held this perception.Even though part of Fu Sitian's original intention of breaking up was that Fu Sitian didn't want to drag him down, it is undeniable that Fu Sitian gave up on her for his family, for his father, for his grandma, and for his younger sister.

She chose Fu Sitian, chose reconciliation, that is, she chose to acquiesce and accept.

She was even ready to be Fu Sitian's lover who never existed in her family.After all, coming out of the closet is not an easy task, and there is no rush.

Unexpectedly, Fu Sitian did this for her without making a sound.

Shi Yi had no choice but to remain calm.

She took a deep breath and asked, "Uncle...how do you say it?" They talked on the phone every day, and Si Tian hadn't mentioned this matter to her so far, so it could only mean that coming out failed this time.She didn't want to upset her.

Sure enough, Fu Siyu said: "My dad didn't say anything, he looked at her for a long time as if he didn't know her, he clenched his fists, stood up, went back to the room and slammed the door."

"When my sister went back and said goodbye to him, he didn't answer."

Shi Yi's complexion was not very good, and Fu Siyu deliberately relaxed his tone to comfort her: "It's okay, I think he has recovered in the past two days, I guess he has almost digested it in his heart, and he started to ask me about you."

Shi Yi looked at Fu Siyu hesitantly, and Fu Siyu nodded affirmatively at her: "Really. The main reason is that my dad knows my sister too well. She looks soft and sticky, and she is easy to discuss everything. In fact, she has her own opinion in her heart. Nine cows won’t be able to bring back the things she has confirmed by herself, let alone the people who have confirmed.”

The waiter brought the food.

Fu Siyu filled half a bowl of rice, as if joking and jealous, she said: "Besides, my dad loves her too much, and she has suffered too much in the past few years, my dad simply doesn't want to make things difficult for her."

When Shi Yi heard the words "had suffered too much", the action of filling the rice stopped.

Fu Siyu smiled slightly, and asked, "You know, my sister's household registration is in my house, and she grew up with me in my house, right?"

Shi Yi nodded, "Yes".

Fu Siyu said: "Did my sister tell you that I have a bad relationship with her?"

Shi Yi filled the meal and explained lightly: "No, your sister never said it, I guessed it myself."

Fu Siyu chuckled lightly, noncommittal.She can see how much Shi Yi protects Fu Stian.She didn't care, and said affirmatively, "I have really had a bad relationship with her for a long time."

"However, in fact, when she first came to my house, I liked her very much. You know, she is good-looking. She has been good-looking since she was a child. She is white and tender, like a doll, and has a good temper. She is always with me. Play, let me do everything, so I like her very much."

"Then later?"

Fu Siyu smiled wryly: "Not later. Not long after, I didn't like her anymore. Because she lived in my house every day, although she gave me everything, but I found out that I had to share half of everything with her. The bed required Give her half, half of the clothes, half of the toys, and even half of the parents. Because of her, things that belonged to me suddenly seemed to be mine. Dad and her When I talk, I always speak in a softer voice, and my mother always points at her when I lose my temper and says, "If you are disobedient, I will not love you anymore. Look at how obedient and obedient my sister is." The kids who come to my house will surround her while playing games, saying 'I like your sister, I want to be with her', all of a sudden, she snatches all my things and becomes my competitor , how could I not hate her."

"I was crying and screaming to drive her away, but my parents didn't take my crying seriously. So I can only start to bully her. I hope she can't stay and leave by herself, and I hope she makes mistakes I hope she will be scolded with me. But she never makes mistakes, never fights back, or even fights back. The more I bully her, the more obedient and likable she will be, especially my father, so I just hate her more."

"But she's really nice. Even hating her has become something unreasonable. I have bullied her so much, but she is still gentle and kind to me, and she will still treat me when I am being bullied by my classmates." Stand up to protect me when I am in trouble, or take the initiative to help me take the blame when I do bad things, or buy me the snacks I want to eat when I have no pocket money, or when I can't finish my summer homework Sometimes, secretly stay up all night with me."

"So, on the one hand, I felt that I hated her to death, and on the other hand, I also felt that she was actually quite good and innocent, and that I shouldn't treat her so badly. But every time I wanted to treat her better, she And I can always make me unhappy again because of my excellence. For example, I failed in the final exam and was scolded, but she just wanted to take the first place in the district. I secretly liked a male classmate for a long time, but she told me that your sister is so beautiful, Can you give me her QQ number. So I was like a genius, wavering between hating her and liking her for many years, until the year of my high school entrance examination."

"Because of the difference of two points, I was dropped to Pugao. Without her, I could just add two points to the only child point. So that year, I hated her to death and vented all my anger on her body, and said all the nasty and vicious things." Fu Sitian almost poked wherever it hurt her.

"With tears in her eyes, she still couldn't fight back when she was beaten or scolded. She listened silently, and then cried."

"I was beaten by my father because she cried before, and she hasn't cried in front of us for many years. But I hated her so much at the time, I didn't care about it at all, but felt that she was disgusting and pretended to be pitiful. It's been a long time Later, when this matter passed, and I regained my relationship with her, I realized that she treated me differently. She was still very kind to me, but she was very polite and not sincere at all. I know, that time I It really hurt her and we can't go back."

Speaking of the past, Fu Siyu's eyes were far away, there was a little smile on the corner of his lips, and there was a little melancholy, which was a calm gesture completely let go.

Shi Yi frowned and listened quietly without disturbing.In the corner of the shadow, Fu Sitian, a young man standing alone under the fence with his head down and tears in his eyes, slowly appeared in front of her eyes, as if a hole had been opened in her heart.

The food was getting cold, and no one was in the mood to eat it.Fu Siyu continued: "I thought I wouldn't care. If I'm not sincere, I don't care. Who cares. But I didn't expect, I care more than I imagined. I'm uncomfortable, but I don't know what I should do. Be tactful She can't accept the goodwill, and I can't do the frank goodwill. So the relationship between me and her has been in such a deformed stalemate until the year she is about to graduate from college. "

At this point, her voice finally had a slight fluctuation.

"Because of a piece of underwear, she quarreled with me, and I ran away from home in a fit of anger. When I was crossing the road, I got into a car accident."

Shi Yi's breathing also slowed down along with her tone, and his eyes showed surprise.

Fu Siyu laughed at herself: "It's ridiculous, isn't it, because a piece of underwear has a leg on it."

Shi Yi opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but didn't know what to say.This is quite different from the accident that Fu Sitian lightly described.

Misunderstandings, good fortune tricks people.Such words are too light in the face of such a bloody reality of life.Whether it's for Fu Siyu or Fu Sitian.

She stared at Fu Siyu, her throat rolled, and her breath almost disappeared.She suddenly couldn't imagine what Fu Sitian had to face after that.

She is so soft, kind, and unwilling to let her go.

There was also sadness in Fu Siyu's eyes, and his voice lowered: "I woke up after being in a coma for a week. You can imagine that one day I could sit up, touch it unintentionally, and suddenly found that my legs were gone. Break down. The end of the world is nothing more than that.” Time has passed, but when we talk about it now, those pains still make people shudder.

Shi Yi stiffened his back and comforted her with his eyes.

Fu Siyu forced a little smile, signaled that she was fine, and continued: "I don't want to live anymore. I hate her like crazy, blame her, wish I could peel her skin and drink her blood. I hate her for arguing with me, hate her She is fine, she can stand on two legs, I hate that she shouldn't exist in this world from beginning to end, and ruined my life."

"So when I saw her, I cried, went crazy, and hit her with everything I could get up. When I cried, my mother cried and made trouble with me. My father had nothing to do with us, so he had to let her Don’t come to the hospital, go to my hometown to take care of my grandma. Later, my grandma passed away, and my injury kept getting worse. In order to keep my other leg, I was transferred to another hospital. It was far away from home. My dad was busy selling the house to raise money. Money, my mother can't take care of it alone, she still needs her help, so she followed. I don't want to see her, so she never enters the ward, just stays in the corridor outside the ward every day, helping to run around during the day Afterwards, I cook and buy things, help the vigil at night, eat, drink and sleep, all on the iron stool she moved out. I don’t know how she got here during those days in the cold winter, all of us lived like human beings. , Ghosts are not ghosts."

Shi Yi's eyes were red, and he bit his lower lip tightly with his white teeth.

That should have been shortly after they broke up.At that time, my gallbladder stones were still not healed.

"Later, my injury gradually improved, and my left leg was saved. I am going to start rehabilitation training. The training is too painful. It is too much to go out to face the eyes of others and accept that I am a disabled person. It’s difficult. I can’t change my mentality, I can’t accept it, and I can’t even imagine my future life. I don’t want to live anymore.”

"One day my mother went out to discuss things with the insurance company's claimant, and the other patients in the ward were not there, so I jumped out of bed on one foot, went to the balcony, and wanted to climb up the balcony and jump off. My sister was in the corridor, She rushed in all at once. I don't even know how she reacted so quickly, she stopped me in the middle."

"I was so determined that I didn't want to live anymore, so I struggled and wrestled with her. At that time, she was so thin that she had only a handful of bones left. She was kicked and beaten by me, and she couldn't even stand on one leg. Me. The two of us were entangled and fell to the ground together, and I strangled her neck. For a moment, I really wanted to strangle her, and we died together."

"Suddenly she stopped struggling, and just looked at me quietly, with sad eyes. I hesitated, but was rushed in by a passing nurse outside. When I was helped to stand up, I heard her staring at me, As indifferent as looking at a dead person, saying, "Don't you hate me? If you die, I will really be happy. Everything you have will be mine, and your parents will only rely on me in the future." , do you think that I will treat your mother well? If you are willing, you can go to hell'. In an instant, I was so angry that I wanted to rush up to beat her, but I was pinned down and could not move."

"After that day, I don't want to die anymore, I'm not reconciled. Why can she still live well, I have to rot in the mud. Not only do I want to live, I also want to live well and torture her to death."

"Holding this idea, I survived. Soon after, I was discharged from the hospital, she graduated, and her father was also released from prison. We don't live together anymore. She lives with her father. We don't see each other often, but Every month, she will send money to my mother. I know that in order to make more money, she does professional and inappropriate sales. I know that all my treatment expenses have her salary. I don’t want to Go to school. I go to psychological rehabilitation every week, but every time I go, I don’t speak, just sit there quietly and burn the money. She paid for the first artificial limb I ordered. But it didn’t take long, I I was not satisfied, and wanted to change to a better one. She didn’t say anything, and took me to change it in the second month. It didn’t take long, and I was not satisfied again, so I wanted to change it again. She still complied with me. I My father advised me not to make trouble, saying that my sister is not easy. I just want to make trouble, I just want to drain her last drop of blood, and see how long she can be hypocritical."

Shi Yi's back molars were clenched tightly, and his nails had already pierced deep bloodstains in the palm of his hand.

Fu Siyu's voice was also tinged with hoarseness: "Her father was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer within a few months after he was released from prison, and passed away not long after. I think that after her father passed away, she became even less angry, but I I didn’t think too much about it. Until one day at the end of the year, my father said that the company called him to ask if he could contact my sister. He said that my sister hadn’t asked for leave and hadn’t gone to work for two days, and the phone couldn’t be reached. My father Panicked, I scolded him for being nervous, but I was also panicked in my heart."

"My dad went to the place she rented, and broke open the door to go in. My sister was lying next to the quick-burning pot, dying, and I don't know how long she has been in a coma. I sent emergency treatment, and immediately rushed in for rescue. The doctor said it was acute cholangitis. Shock caused by obstruction, they don’t understand, how can someone tolerate it so much, how can someone drag cholangitis to such a degree. I know. I looked at the picture my dad brought back and handed it to me. When you finish writing the suicide note in your wallet, you will know."

Fu Siyu choked up, and handed Shi Yi the note that had been kept with her.

Shi Yi didn't dare to blink, his eyes were blurred, and he took it with trembling hands.

On the note, Fu Sitian's beautiful handwriting came into view:

Sorry 111437

Xiaoyu, get well. The three lines of words are desolate.

111437... Shi Yi, I will always love you.The six numbers are heart-wrenching.

Fu Siyu said hoarsely: "She doesn't want to live at all. She doesn't know how long she wants to die. She just hopes that she can die like that."

Shi Yi could no longer maintain his false decency, his straight waist bent down, and the hand holding the note trembled violently.

Fu Siyu could see that Shi Yi seemed to want to hold back, but the tears still flowed down her cheeks, completely uncontrollably and violently falling.

Fu Siyu couldn't stop crying.

She was relieved.

She never thought that this woman who had been decent and dignified to almost indifferent since the first meeting would have such a gaffe.

She thought, her sister's love is right, it's worth it.

She sniffed and said with difficulty: "That time she was rescued and underwent a cholecystectomy. I also went there on the day of her operation. I watched her being pushed out on the operating table with an implant inserted into her body. The tube, the breathing is weak, and it seems to be gone at any time. Suddenly, I feel very painful and meaningless. I don’t know what’s the point of torturing her and myself like this. I used to think that I would never die, but she wanted If I really die, I will not really be happy. Being a human is too bitter. I am suffering, and she is suffering too. Fortunately, this is the end of my life anyway. Forget it. I decided to let her go, and I also let go of myself. "

"After that time, I got better together with her. We came to Haicheng together. I received rehabilitation training that was more suitable for me, installed new prosthetics, and even took a new university entrance exam. Our days seem to be on the way again. It's on the right track. But, deep down, my sister has never really recovered. I can see that she has never had a really happy day."

She didn't say it directly, but in the second year, Fu Sitian was in critical condition due to stomach bleeding, and was sent to the emergency department again.She realized then that her sister never really got better.All the time, she was looking forward to an accident that would give her a relief.In the ambulance, like a last word, she weakly said sorry to her, and frankly said that she always regretted that she didn't call out the reminder when the car accident happened that year.At that moment, Fu Siyu burst into tears.In the face of the turbulent flow of fate, what can be changed by shouting or not.How could there be such a fool as Fu Sitian.

She squeezed her hand and told her: "You get better, I don't blame you when you get better. I forgive you, as long as you are well. If you die, I will never get better in this life."

From this, she seemed to have really untied a little knot in her heart, found the breath to hold on, saw a psychiatrist, took medicine for two years, and got better.

"Until I met you again."

"In the past few days, the smile I've seen on her face is the kind I've never seen in the past six years. Sister Shi, my sister really loves you very much. She's just too stupid and too naive. Know how to express. But it can't blame her. She has never been loved well since she was a child. The person who loves her the most has set the worst example for her by leaving and not dragging her down. She doesn't understand, except Leaving, apart from being good for her, there are more ways to love someone. Six years ago, if she had a better choice, she would never leave you. "

"Can you not blame her?"

The words "She has never been loved well since she was a child" pierced Shi Yi's soul again.

"I don't blame it long ago." She replied in a hoarse voice.

Fu Siyu asked: "Then can I safely hand her over to you? You know, she might still be stupid, might still make you angry and sad, might still not know how to love herself and you."

Shi Yi said: "I will have a lot of patience."

She choked her throat, looked directly at Fu Siyu with tears shining eyes, and said solemnly and solemnly: "I will love her forever."

In those years of separation, she wanted to escape countless times, and told herself countless times to love others and love herself more.But now, she just wants to promise: "As long as she looks back, I will always be behind her."

As long as she needs.

She is willing to be her boat, her way, her medicine, and her eternal light.

Anything is fine.