sleeping formula

【29】

who I am?Where do I come from?Where am I going?

When discussing dreams, why do we need to distinguish between real and fake?Why should you define your thoughts?Is it for the sake of having a stable compass in our hearts so that we will never get lost?So if one day the compass fails, can you still find your own direction clearly?Or we will cry and shout "lost", until finally the tears are dry, the voice is hoarse, until we finally realize that no one can save us, then we finally settle down in our ignorance and station quietly in the lost place ?That's why people grow bigger and bigger, and many times people don't try to think carefully.Quietly accepting what you have and not questioning what you have lost is the most labor-saving rule in this world.

Is this really the only way to go?The earth side thought.Maybe I can only nod helplessly?Sometimes the truth is too exhausting, the truth is always unexpected and hopeless.At least there is a world in the dream that you can rely on. I would rather explore infinite possibilities in the dream than be ruthlessly destroyed in reality.

"Woke up?"

Probably due to the slow opening of the eyelids, the one watching from the side was Sougo, who was still dozing off at first, but soon realized that Hijikata was awake.

"Don't move around, Mr. Hijikata." Sougo said, "Unless you want to satisfy my heart and ascend to heaven earlier."

"Where am I?"

"In the hospital, it's been three days since the operation." Sougo glanced at him indifferently, "so he was in a coma for a total of three days."

Tufang rolled his eyes and asked, "Where's Yinba? Where's Yinshi?"

Sougo had an expected expression on his face, but he hesitated to speak.Finally, under the silent urging of Tufang's eyes, he let go.

"Only one was saved."

Zong Wu said.He saw that Tufang lowered his gaze, and he thoughtfully did not continue to tell him which one it was.

"After the doctor comes to check your condition, you can try to get out of bed and visit him." Sougo looked away, "Although he is more seriously injured than you, he should still be sleeping, but China is taking care of him. I guess When you pass by, he will also be awake."

Hijikata nodded and said, "Thank you, Sougo."

Sougo rolled his eyes impatiently, and muttered "It's disgusting".

After the doctor came, with the help of Sougo, Tufang walked to another ward with the IV rack.Kagura was lying on the bedside, staring at the silver-haired man with steady breathing without saying a word, until he saw Hijikata and Sougo appearing by the door before standing up.

"Silver-chan just woke up for a while, and then fell asleep again." Kagura said, "Don't disturb him yet."

Tufang nodded and approached the bed, feeling the warmth of the sun shining on those closed eyes.Kagura pushed the chair towards Hijikata and asked him to sit down, while he and Sougo retreated silently together, leaving them alone for a while.

"...Um, Hi... Hijikata...?"

"Are you awake, Silver──?"

"──Gintoki." The man said, "Just now Kagura told me that you are still in the hospital bed."

"Same as you, woke up not long ago." Hijikata said, "Are you okay?"

"It's okay. The doctor said it's just a slight concussion. If the examination passes, it's fine. Just rest." Yinshi said, "What about you? Although I think you can get out of bed and walk around."

"It's really nothing serious." Hijikata said, "My injury was relatively mild compared to the original."

"Then congratulations."

Then fell into silence.Gintoki reached out to hold Hijikata's hand, whispered "It's really cold", and then broke the silence again.

"sorry."

"Why do you apologize?"

"I didn't save Ginpachi for you."

"What are you talking about, there is no need to apologize." Hijikata said, "I still have to thank you, Gintoki."

Yinshi didn't respond, just pursed his lips and asked, "What's your plan next?"

"I will travel abroad for a while, and then return to Tokyo." Hijikata said, "I don't know how long... Will you come to see you off?"

"If you don't dislike it, I can help you hold the scene and cry something like 'I can't bear it, I can't bear it'."

Tufang smiled, with a somewhat helpless expression, but did not refute.

"It's a deal."

Just like such a small agreement, a tacit understanding similar to a "fetter" seems to have been formed between the two.They didn't say much to each other, but they seemed to know everything about each other.The earth side will not define such a tacit understanding as "love" or "love", which seems too superficial for their feelings.

On the day when Tufang was going to fly abroad, he asked Yinshi to drive him to the airport, and even asked Yinshi to act as a free driver to carry his luggage for him, so that he could report to the counter early.

"Since you've gone to Europe, just have fun, don't think about Japan." Gintoki said.

"If I don't want to, I might even forget your souvenir." Hijikata retorted coldly, "What would you say is better?"

"Sorry, then you should think more about my souvenir."

Tufang dragged the suitcase and was about to turn around when Yinshi called softly.

"May I call you 'Fourteen'?" Gintoki asked cautiously, as if this title required Hijikata's permission.

"Except Kondo-san, no one calls me that anymore in this world." Hijikata paused and continued, "But I think you should not dislike this name."

Now when I exchanged silver, I laughed and said, "Fourteen...can I kiss you?"

Hijikata looked at Ginshi for a while without answering, and finally just pecked her on the cheek like a dragonfly.

"wait for me."

This sentence contains too many meanings.Others might still ask what Hijikata was waiting for, but Gintoki smiled knowingly.

"Before you come back, I will clean up your house. I will also visit my hometown again. Now I am really the only one who has to deal with that house." Yinshi said, "After you come back, we can discuss together Where to live and how to live your life next.”

"Is it true that I am willing to accompany any decision I make?"

"It's your word, and I will do it."

Later, after the plane took off, Tufang looked at the endless white clouds outside the window and thought.If the feeling for Euntoki is not "love", what is it?

There is no doubt that Hijikata's behavior towards Yinshi so far is no different from that of a lover to others.This kind of mood, which is subtly different from love, maybe only Hijikata can distinguish it clearly?Humans are really complicated animals. No matter how rich the language is, there are times when it can only be understood but cannot be expressed in words.

This feeling may also be because Hijikata accepted the fact that Ginpachi had left earlier than he expected.Hijikata was surprised that he had been entangled in his relationship for seven years. When he learned the news of Ginpachi's death from Sougo, he had too little time to be sad, but the feeling of relief always existed, as if he had completed some task.It is very likely that as early as these seven years, that love has already deteriorated due to persistence?Letting go at the end may also be the best relief for each other.

Now Hijikata can calmly look at the investigation report compiled by Tae Shimura, and see how many years ago Ginpachi has made up his mind, carefully planned step by step, and finally destroyed Hashida in this way to transform the dream into technology A daydream for military use.In that explosion, 90.00% of the research materials were collected, and the remaining 90.00% were irrelevant research methods, operating procedures, etc.And the [-]% complete data structure is all in the mind of Sakata Ginpachi, the director of the experimental center and the director of the Tachikawa Brain Science Research Center, which means that he also brought all the data into the grave.

Hijikata suddenly thought of Atlantis, and felt that Ginpachi's death was like this gorgeous and mysterious country, sleeping in a place he didn't know.And this journey, for the earthwork, seems to be more like a farewell tour.It’s hard to say whether the mood is light or not, but the always calm heart also allows Hijikata to focus on the current scenery or enjoy different delicacies.After so many years, Tufang has only discovered that a person can actually live a comfortable life. The important thing is how to cherish oneself and others. After all, every meeting and parting is a kind of fate, isn't it?

Because of this, even if he knows someone who has a good life, he has no intention of rejecting Yin Shi's proposal to be together.

Back on the land of Japan, the first thing Hijikata did was to call Gintoki.When they met, Yin Shi hugged him tightly, he didn't say much, just hugged him back gently, it's not clear how long it took.Afterwards, Yinshi proposed to go to Tufang's house to store things and have a meal, but Tufang was noncommittal and left Yinshi to go.

It's just that after arriving home, when Yinshi was still nagging about trivial matters such as where to put his things, whether he should put his luggage back, etc., Tufang was really annoyed, so he sealed Yinshi's lips with a kiss.When his lips left, he was still holding the thread slightly, he looked straight at Yinshi, and looked at the pair of red eyes that made him dream, and he couldn't help turning red.

Yin Shi still didn't say much, and there was no extra comfort.He found that Hijikata did not dislike being pressed against the wall, so he gently sucked the skin of Hijikata's neck, unbuttoned his shirt, and smelled the unique smell of Hijikata's body.They also understand the obvious hint of panting, just because they are not used to it, shame or other things. Compared with some rough verbal stimulation, or reckless and inconsiderate actions, gentleness is the most suitable for the current atmosphere, which can make people feel at ease. Give your all with all your heart.

Hijikata figured out one thing: maybe he just doesn't "love" each other so much compared to Yinshi.But love is never everything, life is. Therefore, not long after he met Yin, he was able to trust each other wholeheartedly, subconsciously entrust himself to each other, and take care of each other like family members.

──It is good to have such a result.Thank you very much, Silver Toki.

Hijikata buried his head in Gintoki's shoulder socket, and gave a soft but encouraging slap.