Continuously

The kitchen is impeccably clean, the knives are shiny, the chopping boards are dry, and the induction hob logo is unworn.

Yao An stood by the pool, he didn't know whether he was at a loss for such a compact environment, or he hadn't recovered from the episode just now.

Why would there be such a reaction, I can't figure it out.

To no avail, Yao An was dazed, and put aside for now, the most urgent thing is to cook a light meal.

At present, he can already know a thing or two about Yao Jianqi's usual meals from these single cooking utensils, such as instant, quick-frozen, vacuum... I don't know if he has had soup recently.

The rice bucket was empty, and there were some vegetables in the refrigerator, which looked like they were grown by himself. Yao An took out all the radishes, corn, cauliflower, etc., and picked up two mushrooms from the corner to prepare. He wanted to go out Shopping for vegetables, looking at Yao Jianqi, sinking in the shade of the curtain, made him unwilling to leave at all.

After the food was washed and cut, put green onions and salt in the pot, put it in together with the water, cover it, and before the water boiled for a while, Yao An wanted to make a cup of ginger syrup for Yao Jianqi.

There is no salt next to it, and there is nothing after searching the cabinets. Yao An closed the door of the refrigerator to confirm that there is no edible sugar in the room.

The water gurgled, he hesitated for a moment, and put his palm on the sweaty transparent pot cover.

It was really hot, and when he woke up, he gritted his teeth and made no sound, let out a breath, grabbed the cap, and added a circle of egg flowers to it as if nothing had happened.

In the end, he poured the finished product into a hand-painted soup bowl, put one spoonful after another on the table, and took another small bowl to fill some soup and keep it warm.

"See you, I'm awake."

With a natural voice, those who shouted did not intentionally, and those who listened did not care too much. When Yao Jianqi opened his eyes, he gave each other the illusion of clanging, as if this moment also happened yesterday.

Yao An turned slightly to let him pass by, but the shawl was tucked in a corner, and he couldn't find it everywhere.

One side of the dining table was piled up with sundries and potted plants whose water level could be seen. Yao Jianqi arrived at the other end, followed by Yao An, who could only sit by his side, just waiting for him to take a bite of the soup and egg drop.

"Is it delicious?" Yao An couldn't help asking.

Yao Jianqi picked up the spoon: "You said I had a fever."

"Yeah." Yao An said, "What's wrong?"

"That's why I have lost my sense of taste now." Yao Jianqi swallowed a piece of carrot without changing his expression, "It still feels a bit bitter."

"..." Yao An shook hands awkwardly, "It's okay, I'll just ask casually."

Yao Jianqi stirred the noodle soup without saying a word, he couldn't see the appetite inside and out, chewing was like going through the motions.

"If it's bitter, do you want some candy?" Yao An tried to ask, "I looked in the kitchen before, but I didn't find it."

The porcelain bell rang, like Yao Jianqi's response, and Yao An asked again: "Do you not like to eat now..."

Before he finished asking, the spoon rubbed against the tip of his upper lip, and Yao An didn't dare to move again, for fear that his teeth would really touch each other.

Yao Jianqi handed the spoon forward to the man's tongue: "Taste it."

"I do not need……"

"Taste it." Yao Jianqi repeated, "Tell me if it tastes good."

This changed its nature again, Yao An was apprehensive for half a second, and he ate it wholeheartedly, what he tasted was not just the taste.

"Is it delicious?" Yao Jianqi asked him.

"...It's okay." Yao An didn't brag.

"Oh." Yao Jianqi rested his left hand on his temple, lazily opened his mouth, closed his teeth, and swallowed slowly. It was more flavorful than any jade food.

After a few mouthfuls, Jujue Yao An looked at him and asked, "More?"

Yao An quickly waved his hands: "No, no, you eat, eat more."

Yao Jianqi smiled, it seemed that Yao An was forced to take advantage of the victory and give him another big bowl, but he didn't refuse, and ate a lot of it halfway.

The rest was left in the refrigerator, and after Yao An put it away, he tidied up the refrigerator and went to the drink area. He stopped for a while, and used the sensor light to see clearly the men's masks tucked on top.

It won't be Yao Jianqi.It was only later that Yao An realized the existence of another person in this room.

He looked back, Yao Jianqi was playing with a voice-activated desk lamp, his face was covered with a callus of light, his hand dropped naturally, and the other hand bent four fingers, kowtowed on the table, his gaze fell on his face unobstructed superior.

Yao An trembled in his heart, poured a glass of warm water, and walked forward.

"Are you all alone today?" he asked.

Once, light up.

"You... roommate, do you know that you are sick?"

Once, turn off.

"What's none of his business?" Yao Jianqi was finally willing to answer.

His indifference seemed familiar, but he didn't know who to attack. Yao An clenched his fingers and said, "I'm afraid your body temperature will rise at night. If no one is watching, it will be troublesome if it becomes serious."

After finishing speaking, there was a slight gap, Yao Jianqi flicked the cane of the table lamp with his fingertips, and replied, "No."

"What if?" Yao An was full of worries, "It's better to have someone by my side."

The only light source was behind Yao Jianqi's neck, and the hazy color temperature dissolved his expression, so Yao An could only judge by his words.

"Is it okay if it's someone else's words?"

This should be an inquiry, not a solicitation.

"What?" Yao An grabbed the cup.

"Come with me, taste the temperature of the water for me, and test the heat of my forehead with the palm of your hand." Yao Jianqi got up and pushed the wooden chair away, "When I have a high fever, wipe my body with a wet towel."

Every time he broke a sentence, he approached a point, Yao An stood still, and he told himself not to move.

"I said I was cold, so I just lay down next to my pillow and hugged me." Yao Jianqi stepped on the toe of his shoe, and there was still a glass of water vapor between him. Even this distance was stripped away inch by inch, and the edge of the cup was on Yao An's abdomen.

"Kiss me." The words were about to reach the tip of his lips.

With a bang, the neutral light surged out from the braided strips and dripped on them like a swan's wound.

Yao Jianqi spread out his hand to wake up the light, and asked in orange: "Is it okay for others to do these, Yao An?"

When he called his name, it was like biting off the flesh of a pear, even though what Yao An felt at the moment was the most unpredictable tenderness, the most reliable illusion.

He closed his eyes and said despondently, "I'm not qualified."

For a few moments, due to the silence, they could clearly hear the sound of various utensils aging, knives, hydroponic plants, plexiglass...including themselves.

"Your clothes are wet." When he heard Yao Jianqi's voice again, he was already far away from him.

Yao An lowered his head in a daze, and saw that a finger of water was missing from the cup, and it all reached the middle line of his shirt, dripping down dejectedly, and evaporated again.

He only glanced at it, then handed the glass to Yao Jianqi, who was one arm away, performing his original function: "Drink some water."

Yao Jianqi looked at the other party, but didn't answer.

"You should go."

Calm, objective, articulate, no longer attached to a single whim.

Yao An couldn't continue to deceive himself.

"it is good."

He put down the glass, and the water stains covered the glass and the corner of the table.

Yao Jianqi turned his back and faced Sun Mu, who was about to be born, and heard him say, "Before you leave, can you answer me a question?"

Yao An saw his eyelashes fluttering, and guessed that this should be allowed.

"What's the matter with the bank card?" He took a breath, and his mood had changed when he spoke.

Yao Jianqi's side face was buried in half of the setting sun, without saying a word.

"Last month, you sent the bank card back home." Yao An walked up to him, covered the other half, and kept a close eye on him, "You haven't moved a cent of the money my family gave you over the years."

Yao Jian looked at Qi Weiang, looked at him, and asked, "Is this why you came to me?"

His tone was still indifferent, Yao An was really afraid of being driven crazy by him like this, every time.

Opening his mouth, closing it, hearing the news from Yao Xinping until now, everything that Yao Jianqi has given him, gathered at this moment, will crush him.

"Why don't you use it?" Yao An's neck pulse was throbbing, and he held on to the last straw, "Why don't you use a penny?!"

Yao Jianqi looked indifferently at the man who was tottering under the sky, his gaze remained motionless.

"For you," he said.

Just like a pair of the most cunning silver crane scissors, when the blade falls, Yao An realizes that its beak is sharp, the suspended objects it cuts off are extremely heavy, and the person hit is painful.

"I don't want to use that money, it's not because I'm stubborn, it's because I'm stupid." Yao Jianqi's tone covered all the noise, "I don't care how good-hearted the money is, including the decision to ask me to come here. It seems to me that they have only one purpose, which is to make me feel better when I am away from you."

He said with a deep voice: "And this is a satire on me."

The water sticks to the skin, and it has a gnawing heat. The horizontal line Yao An stands on suddenly tilts. He has to stare at Yao Jianqi so as not to stumble in the next moment.

"You these years..." He asked like a patient, "Did you these years..."

"I've thought about you, Yao An, I'm not afraid of losing face." Yao Jianqi has a completely different coldness and scrutiny from him, "But you're only now asking me 'these years', don't you think it's more than a little late?"

"Me, me too..." Yao An couldn't bear his questioning, wanted to tell the whole story, but felt that he had nothing to trust.

Finally, shaking his head, he said, "I dare not."

"Don't dare?" Yao Jianqi asked lightly and very lightly, and smiled slightly, "I have been with you for many years, and only one dare not."

This sentence is a thorn in the sole of the foot, the white coating of the tongue that has been bitten off, and the person who pinches the sore spot will shout. Only then did Yao An realize that he is not dead flesh, but a living person.

"I pushed you away." He said, "You told me not to give up on you, but I still... still pushed you away."

Yao Jianqi stared down at him and asked, "Do you feel guilty?"

"I'm afraid you hate me." Yao An stepped on the dripping sweat, "I'm afraid you don't hate me at all."

Yao Jianqi couldn't care about the degree of truth in his words. If possible, I hope it's more than five points. Is it a luxury?

"That's why you came all the way here and told me that you wish me happiness." Yao Jianqi said, "Is it a kind of despicableness?"

Yao An recalled from the tram station in a daze just now, the generosity and blessings he kept saying.

There is nowhere to hide the hypocrisy.

"It's fine if you don't admit it." Yao Jianqi said, "I can't afford it anymore."

Yao An froze for a moment, looked at him with a futile question, not sure.

"I was too naive before." Yao Jianqi said, "The bank card is the last time I will be willful, and I won't do it in the future. You can also see that I can get by now."

He paused, and met Yao An's gaze: "Besides, I'm not alone anymore."

There is no flaw.Yao An couldn't see any flaws from his exposed skin and voice, just the opposite of himself.

He faced his alienation directly, and begged: "Speak clearly, Yao Jianqi, please speak clearly."

Yao Jianqi covered his arms, bowed his body slightly, moved close and then staggered away.

"I already have someone to take care of me," he said. "There is no need for a third person here."

Dusk seeps through the crack of the door, turns around on the crystal velvet floor mat, and licks the two separate shoelaces.

For the last time, Yao An looked at the skeleton that appeared steeply in the setting sun, the blue smoke flowing across his shoulder blades, like the inner flame of a gas lighter.

The oblique plane kept compressing, compressing, compressing... until there was no room for a single hair of his between the door and the frame, and it was over with a "click".

Yao An stood in front of the impersonal anti-theft door, trying hard to recall the plot just now.

He nodded, he understood, he walked away, said goodbye, put on his shoes, looked at Yao Jianqi, tied his shoes, looked at Yao Jianqi, closed the door, closed the door... he couldn't see Yao Jianqi.

It turned out that Yao Jianqi was right a long time ago, that decentness is something that can only be taken care of if it is enough to protect oneself.If he can't say goodbye, then at least he can walk here safe and sound, being ignored by him.

There was a similar knock on the latch nearby, which became the bell urging him to leave. Yao An stepped back, turned around, and walked towards the end of the corridor.

First step, second step, first...

Mrs. Dubique, who came out with a cotton net bag, was taken aback and almost dropped the nectarine inside to the ground. After all, it is not very common to see tall people suddenly fall down in front of her.

After she helped the reading glasses hanging from the middle of her neck, she finally saw clearly that the man was just kneeling against the wall, even though his whole body was arched and his back fluttered.

Mrs. Dubuc was no stranger to the door closest to him. She opened her loose eyelids, made her own judgment from the other person's figure, and walked forward.

"What's the matter, Yao?"

The man's whole face was in the palm of his hand, and he didn't respond to her concern.

"Is it because you're not feeling well?" Mrs. Dubuick has always been kind and generous, and she was no exception when it came to caring. Her originally bent back became even more bent, and she finally saw clearly what was leaking from between the other's fingers.

This surprised Mrs. Dubuc even more. She has never seen the male tenant lose his temper in the past years.

"It's okay, it's okay." She patted the other person's shoulder persistently, and changed to a comforting strategy, "It's no big deal, trust Mrs. Dubik, the girl will come back, and the moon will rise."

The man who used to have a good expression and greeted her as a lady every time seemed to be out of order at the moment. No matter how much he tried to persuade her, he couldn't persuade her, nor could he appease her.

Mrs. Dubuc sighed, took out a nectarine from the net bag, put it at his feet, and left.

The scalding liquid dripped on the palm, and the white blisters that emerged seemed to be planted by them, and every line was swollen like a mushroom.

I remember that he used to write silently on the back of his hand, remember that he said here is love and here is desire, and remember his lip prints.

Deep divers cannot hear the shouts from the water surface, Yao An cannot hear the coming and going of leather shoes, and cannot smell the fruity aroma, but they can feel the sudden arrival at a certain extremely silent moment.

The door behind him opened crisply, pushed halfway, and with his deep and shallow steps, he splashed his soft and dark dream shadow.

"What are you doing?" the man squatting in front of him asked, as if asking where you came from.

Yao An shook his head vigorously, soaking his face in his hands.

"Why are you crying?" he asked again.

Yao An repeated the movement, standing on his knees.

Both of them were innocent like white water. It was the summer of the wild lotus, and they met for the first time.

At that time, the sky was so high that you couldn't reach it with your hands. The wind blew away the clouds, and you couldn't see the mountains and rivers at a glance.

You said that there is only smallness and no parting.

Time passed for eternity, and it was still a blink of an eye, Yao An could not recognize it until his face was plucked from the fruit tree, from the palm of one hand to the other.

Yao Jianqi stroked his eyelashes with his index finger, and wiped away his tears with his eyelashes.

He said softly, "What should I do with you?"