Wenhao refuses to be touched

I didn't expect that the heart-to-heart conversation with my younger brothers would be overheard by Bei Zhong.When he heard the sound of a collision from the stairs, he witnessed Chuya covering his bumped knee and staring at me with wide-eyed eyes.

His eyes are very beautiful, very clear, like the color of clear water and blue sky, and with short curly hair in Chu color, he always looks full of vigor and vigor, just like a little sun.

However, I have never seen Chuya smiling brightly like a little sun.

It is because he is always like this that I feel very complicated about him.At the beginning, I really thought that I was hated, but later I felt that it was the child who wanted to avoid me on his own initiative.

This kind of lack of words means that I am speculating, entangled, and depressed in my heart, but I can't express my true feelings to the person concerned. The accumulated resentment is getting deeper and deeper, which makes me not really want to see Zhongya.

I let go of Ayatsuji, who was faintly awakened in my arms, and let him lie on the sofa, slowly walked towards the stairs, stood below and raised his head slightly, looking at Chuya who was crouching at the corner of the stairs with his knees in his arms.

"Does Chuya-chan hate me?" This is a question I've always wanted to ask, but felt childish and didn't ask.If Chuya really wants to live in this family, there are some things that need to be figured out even if the inexplicable self-esteem of an adult is pressed.

"It's like this every time. When I talk, I always avoid my sight. When I get a little closer, my whole body becomes stiff as if I was frightened, and I secretly observe me in the dark... I thought Chuya actually liked me, But it's hard to be so sure, I feel even more that you, Chuya, hate me."

Yes, if you just rely on my words above, you can also think that Chuya wants to get close to me, but is afraid of being rejected, so he is so awkward and arrogant.But there is always a voice in my heart that it is not like this.

He didn't want to get close to me, even wanted to avoid me for fear of not being able to. He stood in front of me and tried his best not to run away immediately. He was enduring my closeness to him.

However, he is obviously accepting my kindness, and he is grateful from the bottom of his heart.Why, alienated and rejected me again?

Chuuya didn't seem to expect to hear such words, and shouted without thinking: "No! I don't hate you!"

He was flustered, his pupils trembled and contracted from time to time, and even his voice trembled: "The one who hates me is obviously you! Finally found a similar kind, and the one who really hates me is you!"

His eyes were red, as if my words had caused incalculable serious consequences to him, venting all the pressure accumulated in his heart. "I know, someone in my heart has been telling me, you hate me very much—wish for me to disappear, get as far away as possible, don't appear in front of you, don't even exist in this world—"

Chuya wiped his eyes in embarrassment, wiping away the tears before they fell. "Why, sister is obviously the same existence as me, isn't she? Trapped in a closed shell, she obviously has more power than anyone else, but she has to succumb to reality and make herself into this—— "

hum ——

"elder sister--!!"

It was an attack that exploded in my ears and shook my soul. I couldn't hear what Zhong was saying, my whole body was weak, and I lost all my strength. At the end of the memory, I seemed to hear someone calling me anxiously. , being surrounded by people, being held tightly by people, saved the pain of falling to the ground.

No coma, just black eyes, deaf ears, I want to reach out and hold something that can be supported, I can't even do such a simple movement, I just feel that the hands holding me are getting stronger, my body It seems to be suspended, the ground is drifting and spinning.

When I was able to see clearly and hear voices, I found myself lying on a white bed surrounded by white, with a needle attached to the back of my right hand, and the white and brown medicine was slowly flowing into me along the infusion tube. in the body.

A hospital ward?

Dazai lay curled up in the crook of my left arm, his eyes tightly closed, his body trembling, and he grabbed my hand and placed it on his chest.Luanbu sat on the chair and lay at the end of the bed, with one hand reaching into the back and grabbing my ankle, staring blankly at my direction.On the other hand, Ayatsuji was standing by the bed, not wearing the glasses that he never left his body, and his bloodshot eyes were staring at the electrocardiogram machine beside the bed.

After I moved my hands and feet slightly and felt the return of control over my body, the three of them woke up from the daze almost at the same time, and the three pairs of eyes stared at me with dark circles.

"Sorry for worrying you."

I subconsciously comforted them first, but when I said it, I realized that my voice was very hoarse and my throat hurt.The three of them didn't speak, and I drank two glasses of water from the plastic cups held by three different hands before I breathed out comfortably.

It was just such a small movement, and they heard three deep exhalations at the same time, and they withdrew their original ugly and stiff expressions one after another, and recovered a little bit of their usual vitality.

Dazai's face rubbed against my neck vigorously, and a slightly crying voice came from the neck where his face could not be seen: "Sister, you have been sleeping for three days and three nights, the doctor can't find anything wrong, return it to me. You issued a critical illness notice..."

"Your examination results show no internal or external injuries, but your brain is abnormally active. It seems that you have encountered brain trauma that cannot be detected by science. You have received some internal stimulation... If you don't wake up tonight, you may become a vegetative state."

Ranbu didn't add anything, just took off his shoes and climbed onto the bed, with his chin on my belly and hugged my waist tightly.He was still under the influence of some kind of fear, he clenched his teeth, his breath was short of breath, and his adam's apple, which had just emerged, contracted violently and trembled.

I don't know what to say now, after waking up, I feel that apart from being a little weak, I am in good condition and my thinking is very clear.I glanced at the wall clock on the wall, it was 12 minutes before 5 o'clock in the evening.

"Why isn't Zhongye-chan here?" I scanned the single ward, but couldn't find the little orange figure.

Ayatsuji said in a bad tone: "I threw him into the care of Mr. Fukuzawa, tsk." He seemed to want to say something bad, but in the end he forced himself to hold back because of his good upbringing.

Ranpo and Dazai were less polite.

"Sister, you still care about what that stinky boy is doing, he is not a good guy."

"That's right, it's him who made my sister look like this when he said some weird words!"

"If something happens to my sister, I must let him..."

"Okay, okay." I pinched the noses of these two little villains who were getting more and more outrageous, and called Ayatsuji to sit down.He probably maintained the standing position for too long, and when he sat on the edge of the bed, he lost his balance briefly and almost fell into the bed.

"I made you worry...Okay, okay, I don't apologize, I don't apologize, it's what you should do to take care of my sister." I hurriedly changed my words, and was almost burned to death by the anger in the three pairs of eyes. "Okay, I can't blame him for my illness, I'm not so weak that I would die of anger after just a few words, and besides, he didn't say anything excessive, maybe it's because I'm too tired recently Come on, nervous."

Luanbu muttered in a low voice: "My sister is so tired, isn't she eating snacks and playing games all the time? She even bought a new game console to play online with Dazai."

"Sister with a personality like this can also be nervous? Is the sky about to collapse? Is the end of the world?" Dazai and Ayatsuji whispered together.

This is very embarrassing.

I snorted pretending to be angry, so that the three little villains would not change the subject.

"Is my sister worried because "Peace on the Tip of a Knife" was recommended for the International Peace Prize?" Ayatsuji said the main point at once.

I believe that Ranpo and Dazai are also aware of my troubles, but they don't want to disturb me, so they always pretend they don't know.

Sighing, I said helplessly: "If it was "Life and Death", I didn't have so many ideas. Although I made a lot of money and received a lot of praise, at least it was within the acceptable range. , after all, the level is indeed higher than the same novels on the market."

but……

""Peace on the Tip of the Knife"... I regretted it very much after I finished writing it. I just wanted to finish the manuscript quickly and let Odasaku not bother me. I wrote it indiscriminately. It is more like a novel than a novel A bunch of so-called superficial and incompetent words to vent anger, war has never been that simple, maybe there are some words in it that are enough to touch people, but overall it can only be regarded as a barely above-average level written by laymen."

This standard is also due to the fact that my writing style is considered good among my peers.

"I underestimate the profession of being a writer too much."

After I finished writing "Peace on the Tip of a Knife", I had a nightmare that night, it was an ordinary nightmare that was not worth remembering, but it made me wake up in the middle of the night, panting heavily, pajamas and The pillow covers and bedding were soaked with sweat.

I didn't recover that manuscript, because I didn't have the mind to deal with it anymore, and I fell into a deep confusion.

I'm thinking about what I want.

When I first wrote novels, was it purely for the purpose of making money?

I made a lot of money, a lot of money, and "Peace on the Tip of a Knife" made me a huge sum dozens of times more than the previous book, but I was thinking, do I really deserve this money?

"When you have no money, you just want to get rich. When you really have money and don't have to worry about making a living, do you just pursue spiritual things?" I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't. I sobbed and mocked my greed.

"But I can't get the money back. Not only can I not get it back, but I have to spend it as quickly as possible." I looked at Ayatsuji, who was listening to me quietly, and Dazai and Chaos, who were also silent. step.

"Thank you, I have been worrying about it. Zai Zai played games with me, let me relax and stop thinking about it, and also prevented me from receiving outside information. Ranpo sauce and Mr. Fukuzawa ran around, but they also wanted to Let's find out who is targeting me. And Ayatsuji-chan, haha~ You are really helping my sister spend the rest of the money, it's hard to think of a reason to spend so much money."

The corners of Ayatsuji's lips curled slightly. "It's rare to be able to splurge wantonly, and I have also tasted the joy of buying and buying indiscriminately."

After speaking, half of the boulder on my heart fell.

"You can only blame me. To post such a novel in this sensitive period, I am a new author who suddenly became famous. I have no foundation or complicated experience. It is very suitable to be a puppet who is put on the shelf."

They used all means, regardless of the cost, to shape me into a glamorous card and push it to the front of the screen.It is estimated that at least half of the veterans who sent letters to the newspaper and blocked the door were instigated by others.

What they want, I don't know.But I can figure out that this thing is not all good for me.

They put me on the bright side because they were preparing to implement some political goals, and many international countries united to promote my reputation. This is an absurd thing that I dare not write in novels.

"Most people in the world are short-sighted. When countless authorities and voices come out, they point to a piece of ceramics and say that it is an artifact. After drinking the water it contains, they will prolong their lives. They say a lot day after day. Most people will believe it directly, and those with a little rationality will be shaken, and no matter how determined people are, they dare not categorically determine whether it is true or false..."

My fame is such a thing.Even if someone sees that my work is not worthy of the name, most of them will choose to believe it and follow it crazily given that there are so many elites in the industry and national voices defending me.

I can see that most of the people who are really tricky in it will choose to cater to the reality and speak for me in a hypocritical manner.

The remaining very small part will choose to remain silent in order not to be retaliated against or for other reasons.They all know that my fame is unshakable until I am drained of all value. Once I destroy the plan of the people behind me, I will suffer a catastrophe.

"Then sister, have you thought about what to do?" Dazai asked me like this.

I nodded without the slightest hesitation.

"Of course, I'm a writer."

That's right, although the name is not worthy of the name, the writer standing on the mirage may be pushed down to the sky at any time and be smashed to pieces.But at this point, no one wants anything to happen to me.

"For a writer, of course it is to write a novel. Abandon all selfish desires and write a novel that can truly be recognized by the world as the originator of the holy and evil school!"

This is what I figured out, my most powerful counterattack!