A pillow in Handan

Zhao Handan asked Mama Zhang for a cookbook, and spent the whole afternoon thinking about how to cook.Shen Ning is not short of money, and the pots he uses do not emit oily smoke.Zhao Handan was very pleasantly surprised. He beat two eggs in a row, trying to fry a perfect omelette that was not burnt on both sides.Shen Ning sat in the living room, found a Rubik's cube from nowhere, and twisted it casually.He couldn't see it, he just twisted the original Rubik's Cube with complete color matching on six sides into a kaleidoscope.The slender fingers are full of candid light, and even the Rubik's Cube in his hand doubles his worth.If Shen Ning went bankrupt that day, being a hand model would be a good way out.

You can smell the aroma in the living room.Shen Ning stopped his hands and asked, "I thought it was past meal time?"

Zhao Handan was stirring the egg liquid while looking at the recipe, unable to concentrate on two things, so he said casually, "I'm learning to cook. Don't you just like that way of eating?"

Shen Ning couldn't help being taken aback, the Rubik's Cube was in his hands, like a harmless burden, maybe next time it will be replaced with a convex one.Their family is used to a Western-style breakfast, with bread and milk in the morning. Shen Ning likes to add fried eggs to the bread and eat it with a little Thousand Island sauce or tomato sauce.

"I don't eat breakfast now." Shen Ning said.

Since his sophomore year of university, he has to take over work and study in business school. He is under increasing pressure and always puts off dinner until very late.Over time, the demand for food also changed quietly, and I gradually stopped eating breakfast.After being blinded, he even lost the concept of time, so there is no breakfast or dinner.

"I'm afraid that won't work," Zhao Handan said. He weighed the pot, half of the eggs turned over, and then smashed into a ball. He had to pick them apart with chopsticks. "It's really strange. Weren't you a loyal supporter of breakfast? Say something like not eating so you don’t have the strength to train.”

"I don't run anymore." Shen Ning frowned, the more Zhao Handan said, the more he felt the change in himself.He shouldn't remember it so clearly.The memories of Zhao Handan made Shen Ning not like himself.Shen Ning has become accustomed to those changes happening invisibly, but the Shen Ning that Zhao Handan knows still stays four years ago.He stands at the source of memory, never flowing to any tributary, at the bifurcation point of his and Zhao Handan's fate.

Zhao Handan stopped talking, and the sound of "sizzling" fried eggs was rolling in the oil.Under such repeated torment, the omelette gradually took shape and was no longer the original viscous fluid.Zhao Handan smashed the egg cake with a spatula, put it in a bowl, and brought it to Shen Ning.It was hot and smelling of oily smoke.He brought a chopstick to Shen Ning's mouth, and said: "Taste the saltiness. If you are not satisfied, you should speak up in time, and the food you will eat in the future will be of this level."

"Mother Zhang will bring food." Shen Ning remained motionless.Zhao Handan raised it for a while and he still didn't give face. "Hey, try some at least. You only eat that at noon, aren't you hungry?"

He is really not hungry.

"Then see how good I am, and I'll give you a chance to laugh at me." Zhao Handan said.

When he said this, Shen Ning felt it was desirable, so he opened his mouth and bit a piece.Zhao Handan carefully controlled the chopsticks, for fear that the tip of the chopsticks would poke Shen Ning's teeth.Shen Ning chewed twice, expressionless.Zhao Handan thought he was going to spit it out, so he went to fetch the nearest trash can.But Shen Ning swallowed it, thought for a while, and said, "It's too salty."

Zhao Handan turned the chopsticks and tasted it, and he thought it was okay. "Is there?" He wondered.

"I mean you, too idle." Shen Ning said.

Zhao Handan laughed: "Who is the idler?"

"Second Young Master."

The two of them fell into a strange silence.It seems that nothing is right, and everything is ridiculed by the blind Shen Ning.

Shen Ning, who has a strong personality and refuses to admit defeat, never expected that there would be a day when she would be unable to take care of herself.His self-esteem is so high, it will be broken when he falls.Song Zhixiu sat next to him as a relative, relayed the doctor's words to him, and said lightly that you haven't seen for a while.The tone was casual, as if saying that I met a few clients today.Song Zhixiu said, why not call Zhao Handan back, after all you have lived under the same roof for three years.Shen Ning said yes.

Yes, he is idle, has nothing to do, and doesn't want to do anything.Just sitting on the couch and pretending it's business as usual is exhausting.

Shen Ning closed his eyes tightly, with wet tears rolling down his eyeballs, burning under his eyelids.

Yes, Zhao Handan must feel sorry for him.But he couldn't stop Zhao Handan from thinking this way.Zhao Handan will always feel sorry for Shen Ning, at least during the period when he was blind.Shen Ning will always owe him one, even if he spends money.

He didn't know how to get along with Zhao Handan.

He was tired, and the things in this world that couldn't be solved with money were tiring.It is the simplest thing to report a number and put chips on the other end of the balance.Shen Ning is good at mathematics, he is good at it, he thought about becoming an actuary in high school.He is well aware of his shortcomings: Shen Ning is an unpleasant and indifferent person.His mother had dystocia at birth, and his father died in a car accident before he became an adult. For the Shen family, an ancient family that even chooses a house based on Feng Shui, he has long been locked away.In the end, only Zhao Handan, who was not from the Shen family, took care of him.Shen Ning owed him, how to pay it back.

he is tired.Just thinking about it makes me tired.Zhao Handan is a good man, although he left four years ago, he came back unexpectedly.Shen Ning didn't want to cause trouble for him, the person he didn't want to trouble was him.However, there is really no one else to rely on.

Zhao Handan saw two lines of tears rolling out of Shen Ning's eyelashes, like spring water gushing out of a dry spring.He endured it for a long, long time, and the falling was as rapid as "big pearls and small pearls falling on a jade plate".One after another, they formed continuous tears.This is the second time Zhao Handan sees Shen Ning cry.He wasn't as bewildered as he was the first time.Patting his shoulder, holding the fragile nape of his neck, hot and humid tears flowed to Zhao Handan's neck.Shen Ning is only 22 years old.No matter how young and mature he is, he is only 22 years old.The reason why Zhao Handan is so calm is because he is not the one who is blind.That's all.

Shen Ning wept silently, Zhao Handan didn't expect him to have such abundant tears with his eyes closed.He was really sad, with loneliness, depression and isolation.He was crying so desperately, as if the tears would excrete the cause of his blindness, and when he opened his eyes, there was light in front of him.

"It's nice to have money." Zhao Handan sighed sincerely.He touched Shen Ning's long hair, as if he was comforting a girlfriend he had dated with.

"Fortunately, it's you, what should I do if it's me, Shen Ning." Zhao Handan said, "Will you come and take care of me?"

Shen Ning's crying stopped suddenly.

"you will not."

"Shen Ning, you won't."

He was right.

"There is no difference between you and Song Zhixiu, and I am no different from you. Everyone tends to pay a little price to get something more important. It's just that I am easier to talk."

"If you are also poor, and I...let's count my bodhisattva's upper body to take care of you. Shen Ning, do you think everything will be so easy? I have to work two jobs before I find a formal job, which means I have to go home Just sleep, you have to solve the problem of eating, sleeping, showering and going to the toilet by yourself. What to eat, this is a good question. When I was young, my mother used to buy discounted bread from the bakery. I think this is suitable for you. We may only rent a single Human world, because I have to help you pay for the medicine. The entire room is only half the size of the current living room, but that’s where the two of us have all our activities.”

"Have you ever lived in that kind of building? A building where it takes a lot of effort to turn on the lights? But you don't need lights very much now, and we can save a lot of electricity bills. Then you have to go out to buy daily necessities. You have to clean, you have to Cooking, even going out to work, blind masseurs and so on. We who are so poor can survive. Only after half a year of hard work can you hope to get better. Of course, it is likely to be more than half a year. Because it is impossible for you to get a good job rested and well nourished."

"Before that though, I'd probably be overwhelmed to throw you out. We're not that close, you know."

Shen Ning raised his head and regained his composure. "What do you want to say," he said.

Zhao Handan laughed: "I may have underestimated you. Maybe you can do many things that I can't think of now. There are not so many restrictions on your career now, right? But what I want to tell you is, Shen Ning, you Not too bad luck."

"When you were young, you didn't have a mother, I didn't have a father, and then we didn't. Now you're blind, and I have to take care of you. Who is more unlucky than whom?"

"At least I'm much, much poorer than you."

Yue Xiao is right, money is a good thing.It is true that people have troubles, but Zhao Handan would rather be troubled by spiritual and higher-level troubles.He has real experience, after going to the Shen family to live a life full of food and clothing, his dependence on his mother has decreased.The desire for fullness when the stomach is hungry is as urgent as a child's demand for mother's love. If he doesn't get it, he will have cramps, weakness, and he will be too hungry to lift his hands.After filling his stomach, he has time to think about Lin Gufang and his mother-child relationship.Otherwise, he will always be just a three-year-old child chasing after his mother's skirt.

Shen Ning is the same now.At least from Zhao Handan's point of view.He is used to being a proud son of heaven.Even the slightest drop in status feels resentful.How can this be good.If even Shen Ning felt that he was unlucky, wouldn't Zhao Handan should have committed suicide long ago.

"I don't want to compare myself to you," Zhao Handan said, "but this is the most effective way every time. You get a sense of superiority from me, and it has always been like this."

Shen Ning's tears have dried up, only a little wetness on the eyelashes.Just looking at the face, it will feel very dazzling.But when he closed his eyes, the beauty of his brows was suppressed, highlighting the cliff-like facial features that strangers should not get close to.Normally, Zhao Handan would not pay much attention to his face, but only had a vague impression of "Shen Ning is very beautiful" in his mind.

That drop of tear fell, like a slow motion, chasing all the way until the water drop broke on the back of Zhao Handan's hand, a little lonely and wet.Zhao Handan woke up like a dream, as if he had just squeezed out of time.

What he and Shen Ning entered was a stagnant space without consciousness and covered with old scars.